Back

Yesterday, my parents and I drove back to New Orleans. My folks are staying in the city to visit with me for a week. I am very glad they're here, but it is stressing to have my them around. Although I know they are trying their hardest to trust my judgment about the place I live, they are failing. It's just bothersome at times. I guess the balance of obeying/respecting your parents and voicing your own opinions is part of growing older too. Who knows?

This Is My Car Stereo and I Saying Merry Christmas

It's Christmas Time in New Orleans, Mom's Cooking Chicken and Collard Greens

That song lyric is adapted from the Run DMC Christmas song, and changed (Hollis, Queens to New Orleans) by me. Currently, I am in sunny Melbourne, Florida and I am bored. It's nice to have nothing to do. I'm trying to enjoy it, but it feels weird to have nothing to do or worry about. Also, I'm not very excited about Christmas this year. Well I guess I sort of am anxiously awaiting the day; it's more of a forcing myself to be excited situation. This has been happening for a few years now. It just gets harder and harder to have the same feelings as I did when I was a kid or even a teenager. Is anyone else experiencing this at their mid-twenties?

So, yeah...

Remember this? I'm doing it all again today, except for stopping in Orlando.

Tower Records Is Closing Nationwide

Today, my friend Sarah and I embarked on the greatest sale known to man!

As you may or may not be aware, Tower Records is closing nationwide. The local New Orleans store on N. Peters in the French Quarter has been closing for months. I went in there earlier this week, and everything was 50%-70% off. I bought eight CD's for $20. That's a good deal. Today was officially closing day for the store. Everything was $1, and some CD's were .50 cents. It was also buy five, get one free. I tell you, this was one of the best experiences of my life. And all the CD's were new, to boot. I bought 32 CD's for $24 dollars. I got some stuff I wanted, but I mostly bought things to sell on the internet. I will list out the albums and then tell you what the total price would have been if I paid full sticker price:

1. Run Kid Run - "This Is Who We Are" (I bought 2 copies)
2. August Burns Red - "Thrill Seeker"
3. Bleeding Through - "The Truth"
4. Plan B - "Who Needs Actions When You Got Words"
5. Jesus Wept - "Sick City EP"
6. The Panic Division - "Versus"
7. Alove For Enemies - "Broken Pledge EP"
8. Da Theory - "Sex Sells" (Originally $22)
9. The Duke Spirit - "Cuts Across The Land (Special Edition)" [Originally $31]
10. A Life Once Lost - "Hunter" (CD/DVD)
11. The Burning Paris - "Half-Truths & indiscretions (the anthology)"
12. Hawthorne Heights - "If Only You Were Lonely" (CD/DVD)
13. Squad Five-O - "Late New Breaking"
14. Memento - "Booka Shade" [Import - Originally $23]
15. The Shortwave Set - "The Debt Collection" [Originally $25]
16. Chelonis R. Jones - "Dislocated Genius" [Originally $23]
17. It Dies Today - "The Caitiff Choir" (CD/DVD)
18. Alove For Enemies - "Resistance"
19. The Dead Texan - "Stars of The Lid" (CD/DVD)
20. Stavesacre - "How To Live With A Curse"
21. Patent Pending - "Save Each Other, The Whales Are Doing Fine" (CD/DVD)
22. Soulwax - "Any Minute Now" [Import - Originally $22]
23. Burns Out Bright - "Save Yourself A Lifetime"
24. Kutless - "Hearts of the Innocent"
25. Absentee - "Schmotime" [Import - Originally $26]
26. Brassy - "Gettin' Wise" [Import - Originally $22]
27. Hawk Nelson - "Smile, It's The End of The World"
28. Inked In Blood - "Lay Waste The Poets"
29. Decemberadio - "Self-Titled"
30. Anam Cara - "Ready To Live"
31. The Ordinary Boys - "Brassbound" (CD/DVD) [Import - Originally $22]
32. Eleventyseven - "And The Land of Fake Believe"
33. Amber Pacific - "The Possibility and the Promise"
34. Jonah Matranga - "There's A Lot In Here" (CD/DVD)
35. Sinai Beach - "When Breath Escapes"
36. Showbread - "Age of Reptiles"
37. Vinyl - "All The Way (Live)" (2 Disc)
38. Evergreen Terrace - "Sincerity Is An Easy Disguise In This Business"
39. John Ralston - "Needle Bed"

Grand Total Sticker Price = $673.00
Actual Total Sale Price = $48.50

Avoiding Studying For Finals Pays

...and Intern Town is paying me.

If you recall, a month ago or so, I posted about a company named Review Me. Review Me pays you to review websites. (Sadly, as I scroll down, I notice the post is still on the main page. This proves how busy I've been.) Well, lucky you, I get to post about something cool again, and I get paid money for it, again!

My assignment this time around is to review a website called Intern Town [link]. As I was checking it out, I realized just how handy and revolutionary this site is. Intern Town is a part of Translation Central, which is a "document and website translation company with its own foreign language research department." They are based in the United Kingdom and in partnership with many universities and companies from nearly every major city all over the world.

From Intern Town's Website - Mission Statement:

1. To provide a free-of-charge, user friendly space for future interns from all over the world to find challenging positions for up to 12 months at exciting companies worldwide.

2. To provide the definitive site for companies of all sizes, for a minimal fee and with minimal administration, to directly access the CVs of tens of thousands of future interns and make contact with them in a hassle free way.

3. To foster international business and cultural understanding by exposing interns, employees and employers to new cultures, working practices and languages, and help a large number of the world's most talented youngsters find their first steps in what we hope will be highly successful careers for all.

Intern Town helps people who want business experience get that experience by interning all over the world. But that's not it. Intern Town also helps businesses who are looking for hardworking people to an internship at their companies. Registering as an intern is a free service. There is just a short, relatively easy questionnaire that you have to fill out. If you are chosen by a company to do an internship, that company may charge you a fee. Of course, if you have a business and are looking to recruit interns, there is a nominal charge.

The website is well equipped to handle any questions you might possibly have about the service. They also have a contact page if you are interested in learning more about such an exciting venture. There email address is info@interntown.com

New Orleans News

Rep. William Jefferson (Democrat) kept his seat in Congress, winning the runoff against Karen Carter (Democrat) on Saturday. Although I'm still a registered voter in Florida, I got involved in this particular race because of the vast implications this district's seat has on where I live. Out of all of the candidates in November's election, there was only one republican, whom incidentally was white. In this writer's opinion, he had no chance. I have no problem with the leaders of this city being black, white, purple, red, or green. Furthermore, political parties are not my concern, as I am a registered independent. Although I do lean conservatively, I really just want better things for this city. Thus the problem with our local leaders. Karen Carter is a left-wing supporter who wants her vision of a 'New' New Orleans. The only problem with that is she is a rich woman who does not live where the citizens do. And Jefferson is no better. The FBI found nearly $100,000 in his freezer, which is thought to be bribe money. Although he hasn't been charged with a crime, local authorities speculate that an indictment will come soon. As USA Today Reported (click the quote to read the entire article):

The scandal turned the race into a debate largely divided along racial lines, an age-old dynamic in this city that has intensified since Hurricane Katrina displaced large numbers of blacks and upended their demographic and political dominance. Whites, who overwhelmingly voted for Carter in the primary and have been her most enthusiastic financial backers, believed a Jefferson win would confirm this city's image as corrupt and untrustworthy as it asks the nation to fund its recovery from Katrina.

This Is To Whom's 1,100 Post

Yeah, so, that's about all I have to say. Papers, finals, and all that. More to come other than just the typical self-defacing posts.

I...

...resolve to never believe in Jeff Watkins, again.

Back The Other Way

Tomorrow I'm heading back to New Orleans. I've had a good time at home. Because of this website, Black Friday Ads, I was inspired to get up at 4:00 AM on Friday morning. The first stop was Best Buy. I was there 15 minutes before the store opened, and there were between 150-200 in front of me. I didn't get anything I wanted because it was all gone by the time I made it in the store. They had a couple cheap computers, flat-panel monitors, and printers that I was interested in getting, but no luck. Over the next four hours I drove to Dillards, Circuit City, CompUSA, Staples, Wal-Mart, Harbor Freight Tools, back to Best Buy, and then finally Family Christian Store. I was done. I had lunch with my friend Lisa and went back home. I did buy a few cool things, but I'm annoyed at how many mail-in rebates I have to do before my "deal" occurs. I'll make a point to look for those "deals" next year, and avoid them! I want a deal now, I don't want to have to wait for 4-6 weeks. So, after a couple hours of sleep, working on the Christmas tree, and dinner, I went back to Target. They had some good deals on a few on DVDs so I looked. There I was, walking around, and what did I see but a LCD flat-panel monitor. I grabbed like I was stealing it. Making sure there was nothing defective with, I took it to the checkout in electronics and inquired about the price. $229 everyday, but $149 that day. When I checked out, I saved $15 for getting a Target credit card. $135 for a 19 inch widescreen monitor by Westinghouse. I was happy. It looks like this

Well, I guess that's about it. I'll be back in less than a month for Christmas vacation. Hopefully I can substitute teach while I'm here, but it's not looking like that will happen. I need to get the kid I'm tutoring through his finals, and I have to do that for myself as well. I have a job as soon the gym opens up on campus, but there's no telling when that will happen. That's about it for now.

So, have a good night and tomorrow. Pray I make it home safe.

Happy Thanksgiving

Wishing you and yours a happy and safe holiday.

My Trip Home

Yesterday, I set sail for Florida. I rented a car for my journey, as the old Altima (now at 207,066 miles) is leaking oil badly. I got the cheapest thing they had, but because Avis was all sold out of "the cheapest thing they had," I got an upgrade. That vehicle was a 2006 Saturn Ion, which is way nicer than my ride. I stopped in Gulfport, MS after leaving the Crescent City. I then drove straight from Gulfport to Tallahassee, FL. I filled up with gas there and ate, then drove straight to Orlando. These are four to five hour ventures alone, respectively, but because I was in the car for a total of eleven hours yesterday, the time it actually took tends to be blurred. But, I did both of those portions of the trip without stopping. That's amazing for me considering I am the Watkins with "the tiny bladder," or so my Dad says. So I stayed with my friend Bethany in Orlando last night, and got up today and came to my folks' house. The few hours here have been good and I look forward to Thanksgiving. I hope all is well with you.

She's Going To Die, Too!

A year ago, Forbes created an email time capsule for people to use. It was a neat idea and I myself took part in the extravaganza. Last November, I wrote an email to myself, and had it sent to myself. Destination? One year later. This is what I said:

Hi,

Jeff, this is yourself, Jeff Watkins. It is November 17, 2005. Today, you got up and rode the bus for Christy, whom you work with at Eau Gallie High School. You hung out with James Underwood; he is your one-on-one responsibility at work. You came home from work and slept some and typed some notes for Baptist Heritage class. A year ago, in 2004, you were happy to be leaving Laurel Oaks. That giddy feeling has come over you today. What will be occurring in your life a year from now? You need to work on your relationship with GOD! Do you still have those problems? Haha, you're a dick sometimes. I wonder if you/I will be offended by that a year from now. Anyway, take care.

Love,

Yourself

I Like Getting Money For Avoiding Real Life

This is a paid advertisement!

And I can continue to do such a thing with sites like Review Me. Review Me (www.reviewme.com) is a website that will pay you money for blogging about advertising. This is what I am doing. Right now. I am making money, while I blog. How? Just read on.

I discovered this venture when Rich over at DYL mentioned this website in a recent post. After reading what he said and checking it out for myself, I found it to be true. This excites me!

The process is simple. You sign up, and your first review will be about the site itself (note the obvious advantageous nature of advertising). Soon after, you will get requests to write other reviews for other companies, products, etc. Once given an assignment, you have 48 hours to write the review and place it on your blog. After Review Me confirms it, you get the money. How exciting is that? Now, not only can you procrastinate on your book critique and paper, which are due Wednesday and Thursday, respectively. But you can get paid to it, as I am!

As I said, I am getting paid to do this. You can too. Sign up with Review Me and start earning away!

Rich Posts Papers, So I Will Too (I Got An A!)

Jeffery G. Watkins
BSHM5310 Introduction to Biblical Hermeneutics
Dr. Harold R. Mosley & Dr. Charles A Ray, Jr.
October 23, 2006


WORD STUDY: BURNT OFFERING (‘OLA)


When one attempts to do a word study, it is an endeavor at analyzing a word in a particular setting in order to give a specific passage a more thorough meaning, thus helping the reader to understand the Scripture in its clearest possible context. The transliterated Hebrew word ‘ola (burnt offering or whole burnt offering in English) has a couple of different meanings, and the word can be found frequently in many ancient texts. The word itself is used a great deal throughout the Christian Bible. This paper will focus on ‘ola’s frequency in the Bible, but more specifically as it relates to the account of Abraham offering Isaac as a sacrifice to Yahweh in Genesis 22:1-14. Also, this word study will focus on noting the word’s historical origin, significance in theological meaning, and its implication in context to the story of Isaac’s would-be sacrifice by his father Abraham.

In the Bible’s rendering of the history of the unfolding world, there are many occasions where the word ‘ola is used. Burnt offering refers to the type of sacrifice that was offered to God, but the ceremonial activity itself was not limited just to the Hebrews; many other nations practiced the custom. Despite the innumerable reasons humans have offered sacrifices to a divine being, the observance always required people to present something tangible to their deity of choice (Bucke 1962, 148) and that is where the inception of burnt offerings can be found. In the New International Version’s (NIV) translation of the Bible, the word ‘ola is used 269 times, which accounts for 97.8 percent of burnt offering’s usage in the entire Bible (Goodrick and Kohlenberger 1999, 168). It is plain to see how familiar the citizens of the ancient world were with the practice, and just how common God demanded his people to participate in a ritual burnt offering to atone for their sins.

The term ‘ola finds its etymological roots in a number of different places. Although the term can be found in both Old and New Testaments, large portions of its occurrence happen in the Pentateuch alone. Even though there is much frequency of ‘ola in the Bible, the word has derivation in other anthropologic experiences. Other nations, such as the Moabites, had there own terminology for burnt offerings (VanGemeren 1997, 405), thus the word does not belong solely to Hebraic society in reference to what the Israelites must do to appease the wrath of Yahweh. As a matter of fact, some scholars believe that the word did not form on its own, but the term ‘ola derived from another comparable word. The Hebrew word kalil, also meaning “whole offering,” might have been used before ‘ola; because of both words’ similar meaning, it is thought that kalil was a previously used term for whole burnt offering and was afterward changed to ‘ola (Botterweck, Ringgren, and Fabry 2001, 98). Even millenniums later, Flavius Josephus, known for his historical reliance as an extra-biblical source for Christians, records the story of Abraham and Isaac in much greater detail than the biblical account and includes the word ’ola. Josephus gives both Isaac and Abraham more dialogue in his description of the events, thus focusing on the meaning of the story itself. In his retelling of the Gen. 22 account, Josephus himself uses the word ‘burnt offering’ when describing what God had commanded Abraham to do. That is a clue to how commonly the Hebrew word was used (Josephus 1987, 43).

When attempting to find ‘ola’s meaning, many more questions have to be raised. What did the term mean when it first appeared in language? How has the meaning of the word changed throughout the different periods of time? If the meaning has changed, what does the word mean now? Since the term’s first appearance in language has been discussed, it seems fitting to move on to the word’s meaning. ‘Ola literally means “burnt offering, wholly dedicated to God” (Goodrick and Kohlenberger 1999, 168). In all of its cases, besides the different variations of the word, ‘ola typically means ‘whole burnt offering’ most of the time. Shockingly, the word has almost always had the same meaning since its inception into language.

Although the meaning of ‘ola has seemingly always meant ‘burnt offering,’ how was it that the Israelites knew what to use for the ceremony? Besides the simple fact that God told the Israelites what to use (Lev. 1:10; 4:32 for example), it is conceivable that some of the people of the land knew what other cultures were using as devices for sacrifice. For burnt offerings, one had to use a male animal from the herd or pack, or a bird (turtledove or pigeon) (Freedman 1992, 875). Offering an animal was the mode in which the Israelites had to fashion their burnt offering to Yahweh. “As far as the usage of the burnt offering is concerned, historically it is important to recognize the distinction between burnt offerings presented at solitary altars (i.e., not in the tabernacle or temple) as opposed to sanctuary alters (i.e., in the tabernacle or the temple)” (VanGemeren 1997, 408). This is a clue to the fact that the meaning of the word has more implications than just that of its connotation for a ‘burnt offering.’ (i.e., location, not only means and mode, is also important). But, what does the methodology of offering have to do with the theological significance of this word’s meaning as it relates to the culture of the Ancient Near East and the present time?

In Genesis 22:1-14, God is testing Abraham, to see if he is worthy of making a covenant with him. Each time ‘ola occurs in Gen. 22, it is important for the reader, as it was important for Abraham, to make note of why the word is being used. In its theological significance, we see Abraham, because of his faith, being marked as righteous in the eyes of God. By trusting God, he was willing to offer his [at that time] only natural born son to show his faithfulness to Yahweh. The implications of this are astounding. The church today can gain a great deal of insight from studying the example of Abraham in the Gen. 22 story. Even scholars have thought the meaning of the term was befitting the name itself because “the ‘ola sacrifice was one which was entirely burnt on the alter and so its smoke—or better, its scent—was directed toward the heavenly realm, wherein the deity was thought to have ‘inhaled’ it” (Freedman 1992, 875). Because of Abraham’s faithfulness, he was able to do many great things for God. Whether God’s nose was tickled by the aroma of a burnt offering or not, the world will never know. But certainly a faithful servant who trusted in him blessed God’s heart so much more.

It is significant to mention more about ‘ola’s frequency in chapter 22 of Genesis. ‘Ola occurs six times in Gen. 22 alone. Verses 2-3, 6-8, 13, and 25 all use the term ‘ola throughout the chapter. The only other time the word occurs that frequently in a passage is during prescriptive statements when God is instructing the Israelites in how to sacrifice burnt offerings (e.g., Lev. 1), or when he is commanding them to atone for their sins (e.g., Num. 29). In the context of this chapter, the burnt offering is directly related to what Abraham can do to show that he trusts God and relies on his faithfulness to uphold his side of the agreement. Largely, in the Pentateuch, the context is the same. Although, other times in the Old Testament, burnt offerings are offered to other God’s, it is apparent that the only one that matters is the one believers offer to Yahweh.

In conclusion, it is evident by this word study that it is vastly important to know about each of the possible words one may come across when studying a passage of Scripture. The term ‘ola, although very well defined, still has a lot of anonymity surrounding its fullest meaning. Scholars have not been ashamed to say that ‘ola’s exacting denotation and etymology are vague (Botterweck, Ringgren, and Fabry 2001, 98). But, in spite of possible limitations, it is evident that the word ‘ola holds a very significant place in the Genesis 22 account of Abraham and Isaac, as it does wherever else it is used in the rest of the Holy Bible.


REFERENCE LIST


Botterweck, G. Johannes, Helmer Ringgren, and Heinz-Josef Fabry, eds. 2001. Theological Dictionary of the Old Testament. Vol. 11. Translated by David E. Green. Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company.

Bucke, Emory Stevens, ed. 1962. The Interpreters Dictionary of The Bible: Vol. 4. New York: Abingdon Press.

Driver, Samuel Rolles, Alfred Plummer, Charles A. Briggs, eds. 1969. The International Critical Commentary. Vol. 1, Genesis, by John Skinner. Edinburgh: T. & T. Clark.

Freedman, David Noel, ed. 1992. The Anchor Bible Dictionary: Vol. 2. New York: Doubleday.

Goodrick, Edward W., and John R. Kohlenberger III. 1999. The Strongest NIV Exhaustive Concordance. Grand Rapids: Zondervan.

Josephus, Flavius. 1987. The Works of Josephus: Complete and Unabridged. Translated by William Whiston. Peabody: Hendrickson Publishers.

Kohlenberger III, John R. 1987. The Interlinear NIV Hebrew-English Old Testament. Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House.

Pick, Aaron. 1977. Dictionary of Old Testament Words For English Readers. Grand Rapids: Kregel Publications.

The Holy Bible. New International Version. 1999.

VanGemeren, Willem A., ed. 1997. New International Dictionary of Old Testament Theology and Exegesis: Vol. 3. Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing House.

The Child Unit

I'm getting so sick and tired
Of seeing full moons every night
Nothing ever seems to happen
Just a parade of endless fights
Everywhere I am
All the ways my eyes can see
Everything I hear
This stuff is seriously affecting me
I got kicked one night
Another night I got punched
Bruises and cuts are like achievements
Death doesn't seem like their intention
I've been kept alive this long
Should I worry about tomorrow
The day when I go back
To this really depressing story
Will I hold my head up
Or let this pain rest in my gut
I should not worry
Somebody is watching out for me
It's all taken care of
Reproach is the standard I should strive to be
But, I still worry
Day after day
There's nothing like going to work
And being sucked dry by those little jerks

Almost November

This year is really flying by. I cannot believe that I have lived in two diverse, and almost opposite cities, had two completely different jobs, and two very different incomes. I went from having a room to myself, to sharing it with three other guys. Crazy. Change is a funny thing. I like change. The only thing I remember from my disappointing psychology degree is that "change causes anxiety." It's certainly true, it does. But, sometimes, change can be good. This new month, November, will be good. I wish I would look at every month like that. Really, I will wish I would look at every new day like that.

Until December.

An Evening With David Bazan

Dave Bazan (of Pedro The Lion) came to New Orleans last Tuesday night and shared his music and life with the audience.









Although the crowd wasn't large, a group of us got close to the stage, and sang along to his story-telling of faith, love, murder, deceit, lust, rage, and hatred.








Having been an avid fan of Dave's music for many years, I was worried that some of the magic would be lost by not having a full band back him on the tunes. However, I was wrong.








Mr. Bazan played through classics on each of the Pedro releases, as well as nearly playing through every song off his recently released EP Fewer Moving Parts (except for "How I Remember," which is my favorite of the disc).








Dave also answered many questions from the audience. In my opinion, some took this time to inquire his opinion; others took it to be ridiculous and annoying.









After ninety minutes of a guy and his guitar, I felt inspired. It was an amazing experience. I met Dave for the second time in my life that night. And he remembered me and the conversation we had about a book from three years prior. Rad, no?








Rock stardom isn't dead. It's just not really applicable when people are real with themselves and the people who appreciate their art.

David Bazan - "Slow and Steady Win The Race"

Pictures Embeded With Memories

This is a slideshow with pictures from my trip. You North Florida locals will recognize some.

Leaving, Staying, Living, Dying

So, I wasn't sure how long I would be here, but I'm pretty sure that I'm going to stay all weekend or longer. Maybe I'll stay some during the week. I haven't missed too many classes, so I could afford the skip. I just miss this dreadful place. It's funny, I never thought I would care, but I do. I do care. I do. I care.

"Tiny Vessels" by Death Cab For Cutie from the album Transatlanticism

"All I see are dark gray clouds in the distance moving closer with every hour.
So when you'd ask, 'Is something wrong?'
I'd think, 'You're damn right there is, but we can't talk about it now.
No we can't talk about it now.'"

I'm Going Away For A While

Tomorrow I am leaving in my Altima and heading back to Graceville (my college town and home from August 1999 - January 2005) to see Chase and Donna, who will also be there. (Really, I guess, I'm seeing everyone I know who is still serving time in that small town.) Anyway, before I go, I wanted to make mention of some books I found at my school's annual book sale. I spent a total of fifteen bucks and found some amazing things. Some I bought for personal use (current or future), and some I bought mainly to sell on Amazon.com (none of which is listed here). So, without further ado:

1. A 1927 hardcover edition of The Philosophy of Spinoza
2. Four Volume set of Vincent's Word Studies in the New Testament (Retails $100)
3. A 1966 hardcover edition of The Jerusalem Bible
4. Holman Illustrated Pocket Bible Handbook
5. A Tapestry of Faiths: The Common Threads Between Christianity & World Religions by Winfried Corduan
6. New Testament Greek: An Introductory Grammar by Eric G. Jay
7. A 1970 hardcover edition of Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia (Hebrew Bible) (Retails $50)
8. The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee
9. A 1925 hardcover edition of The Philosophy of Religion by George Galloway
10. Four Volume set of Wuest's Word Studies In The Greek New Testament (Retails $60)
11. A first edition (1912) hardcover of The Meaning of God In Human Experience by William E. Hocking
12. A Harmony of the Gospels by A.T. Robertson
13. 1916 hardcover edition - Vols. 17 & 18 of The Summa Theologica by Thomas Aquinas

Pre-chewed Food

Hi, my name is Jeff. I wait until the day before assignments are due to write them. I don't know why I do this. I want to change. I've tried to change. I have changed. I have a 2-3 page (single-spaced) hermeneutical paper on Genesis 22:1-14 due tomorrow. I started this thing on Saturday. I have been doing research since then. Everyday, I read for two or three hours and I still cannot formulate enough words to write the paper. Due later this month, I have a key word study due on the Hebrew word 'ola ([whole] burnt offering). But, first, I have to do this background study on human sacrifice, as related to Abraham offering Isaac to Yahweh. So, instead of writing a paper, I post a blog. And that is why I am here, still writing. Bye.

I Hate Overnight Activism

I understand that people find new causes to defend and support all the time, but I'm getting tired of hearing people refer to themselves as activists. I admire those who defend the needs of the voiceless and helpless because I am a very selfish person who only concerns himself with my own needs mostly. And I realize that a single event can change the way you live, and reshape your outlook on life. A good example of this is the lady who started Mothers Against Drunk Drivers (MADD). Her child was killed by a drunk driver, and because she was so distraught, she wanted to prevent others from having to deal with that kind of hell, so she started the organization. That activism is good. Calling yourself an activist just to be nominal is lame and the worst kind of fraud. Stand up for something because people need help, not because it will make you more appealing to the opposite sex or those you have conversations with. Activism is a lifetime role, not an overnight trend.

Fortunate Son

So, I like living in a country that believes so highly in the concept of freedom. But, maybe, if we changed the way certain things were done and had less 'freedoms' other things would work out better. Maybe not.

Friends Don't Let Friends

Friends don't change your myspace top 8 when you accidentally leave yourself logged in on their computer. They just don't. Especially best friends :)

I'm Kidding, Of Course

Tonight's the last night
I will see the heat escape from my breath
In the cool winter’s-end sky
Alive for this moment
While the thoughts replace my many lives
Too little to indicate
Devastated beyond repair
My opinions on the weather
Only selfless people care
What happens to those who cannot find shelter
And die in the below freezing temperature

All of my failures
Are because of my fears
Trusting in dishonesty
And not being sincere
Simply stated
I cannot just get by
Doing rudimentary things
Running to each temporal high
Pacing as living
Dying to redo
All of this uncertainty
Carelessness reviewed

Not knowing when I get to see you again
Inclines me to want to sin
Trying to replay the irony
An indispensable industry
Commonsense is not always available
Dependability surely isn't the most profitable
Selling yourself short for someone else
Living on islands of desire just to melt
Obligatory lines to reproduce
Possible friends you want to be introduced to
The moments that fill our day
Kisses we wish to save
All the things we can’t do
Anything just so we get to see you

The Song Remains The Same

Even though I haven't written anything new in a week, the post from last week would be appropriate for today's blog too. You see, I am once again writing a paper for philosophy class which is do tomorrow. This time, I am affirming some points of Aristotle's Realism. Fun, no?

Title Page

The only book I'm reading today is A Manual for Writers of Term Papers, Theses, and Dissertations by Kate L. Turabian because I have a 5-10 page philosophy paper opposing idealism tomorrow. I tried to start on it last night, and I did. I wrote one paragraph. I tried to start on it earlier today too. A couple of hours ago I started and now I've got the second paragraph. I really need to hurry this up.

...

I have the song "Friday, I'm In Love" by The Cure as my ringtone on my cell phone. Just once, I wish it would ring on a Friday when I was in love. Or, maybe I just wish I knew what being in love on a Friday meant so that I could pursue that.

One Year = One Lifetime

A lot can happen in a year. Just ask me. But if you would like to know more, ask someone else. Many more have suffered beyond what I have ever experienced. I am lucky. I wrote a lot about being lucky last year. One year ago today [link], I wrote with almost a humorous spirit. For the next month, there was no laughter coming from me. Why do we look back and smile, even when the memories are bad? This is not the case for me. I don't think a day has gone by in the past 365 days where I haven't thought about that whore Katrina and what she took from me. I'm glad God's in control because I would lose my mind if He wasn't. I still hurt and cry, and I didn't lose one thing. Think about those who lost some, or all. I am only concerned because I was affected and effected (one of the only times I can be both I suppose). Instances like hurricanes teach me to hurt and mourn with others; to get beyond my feeble attempts at being self-centered. This is it. I don't know what this next year holds for me. But I sure hope is resembles very little of last year.

The South Will Rise Again In 2010

Many things cause me to be emotional and nostalgic...

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans
And miss it each night and day
I know I'm not wrong, the feeling's getting stronger
The longer I stay away

Miss the moss-covered vines, tall sugar pines
Where mockingbirds used to sing
I'd love to see that old lazy Mississippi
Hurrying into Spring

The moonlight on the bayou
A Creole tune that fills the air
I dream about magnolias in bloom
And I'm wishing I was there

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans
When that's where you left your heart
And there's one thing more, I miss the one I care for
More than I miss New Orleans

"Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans"
Written by Louis Alter & Eddie DeLange

For the first time in a year, I have participated in some typical New Orleanian activities. Last night I ate naked chicken strips and tonight I had a shrimp po-boy for dinner. I have driven on Magazine, Gentilly, Carrollton, St. Charles, etc. I watched oak trees cover the streets. I ran a stop sign and went through red lights. If you don't know what this means, than you don't know what it means to miss New Orleans.

I'm sorry for when I forgot you, pied-à-terre.

Anthropological Conversations

You asked me to come upstairs
Only to make me take a seat in a chair
As I walked through the door
You’re already done with the discussion

I sit down, pen in hand
Ready to catch any lingering thoughts
You come up with more theories
Than a physicist has pages to jot notes

I'm panicking with caution; almost despair
'Cause I can't seem to find enough spare change
To donate to your cause
Nor do I have the time to wait around until you find the time to spare

So, I wait, and rest upon these thoughts
Of songs about airplanes and the reptiles of the world that are around
But now I have leave and go up town
I just thought you should know how I felt about this afternoon

New Orleans, LA 70126

Well, I am back in NOLA, again a full time student at the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. I have been in town for one week. Right now, I'm sitting at a table in the Hardin Student Center, near the Cafe. The muffled sounds of laughter and conversation are only mildly overshadowed by the stressed-filled sighs that are echoing in my mind. It's surreal. Here I am. In the place I was only one year ago (possibly in the same chair). But again, here I am, in a much different place and with a much different attitude than just twelve months prior. It feels different now. Everyday life--for me and the city--is not the same as it was one year ago. I'm getting by, making due, living well, etc. I realize that the only person who can make things different this time around is me. I have a second chance to accomplish my tasks, get closer to God, grow friendships into lifelong relationships and help people cope with their devastated lives. Or, I could just as easily repeat what I've already done. The choice of what to do is an easy one to make. The action I choose to take is the much more difficult decision As silly as sounds, we can learn a lot from an accused child molester:

"That's why I want you to know I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and then make a change" ("Man In The Mirror" by Michael Jackson).

Leaving, Again...

I'm looking forward to everything about moving except for leaving...

Records (33's) and Singles (45's) For Sale

I have brought my peddling ways to To Whom. I have all of these albums and singles and wish to get rid of all of them (don't worry, I still have plenty more). I may add a few more soon, but this is it for now. The conditions very, if you have a question, email me about one.

Here's how this works. I have a few friends with interests in vinyl. This is on a first come, first serve basis. Email me with your choices. I will do my best to take off already sold records once somebody requests them. If you buy one, it'll be about a $.50 cents plus shipping. (Obviously more valuable ones are worth a bit more.) If you buy more than one, I'll make them cheaper, that way you get a deal. I just want to get rid of them. I will make you a Pay Pal invoice and that way you can pay with Debit or Credit Cards. You can also transfer money straight out of your checking account and it's perfectly secure and safe. Let the mayhem begin! Email me at jeffyjeff[at]gmail[dot]com with your choices.

LP’s (33's)

A-ha – Hunting High and Low (features “Take On Me”)
Bryan Adams – Reckless (features “Summer of ‘69”)
The Beatles - The Beatles – no case
The Beatles – The Beatles [White Album] – no case – 2 LPs
The Beatles – The Beatles ‘65 – no case
The Beatles – Rubber Soul – no case
The Beatles – Help – no case
The Beatles – Sgt. Pepper Lonely Hearts Club Band – no case
Blue Oyster Cult – Agents of Fortune (features “Don’t Fear The Reaper”)
Jimmy Buffett – Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes (features “Margaritaville”)
Captain and Tennile – Love Will Keep Us Together (features self-titled hit)
Chicago – 16
Charlie Daniels – A Decade of Hits (features “Devil Went Down To Georgia”)
Cheap Trick – Cheap Trick At Budokan (live)
Sam Cooke - The Best of Sam Cooke
Doris Day with Andre Previn - Duet
The Eloise Trio – Self-Titled
Foreigner – Feels Like The First Time (features self-titled single)
Merle Haggard - HAG
Hello Dolly – Original Soundtrack (features “Louis Armstrong doing “Hello Dolly”)
INXS – Kick (features “New Sensation”)
Billy Joel – Glass House (features “You May Be Right,” “Don’t Ask Me Why,” Etc)
Kansas – Point of No Return (features “Dust In The Wind”)
Kid and Play – Funhouse (unopened)
Carol King - Tapestry ("It's Too Late")
The Kinks – Give The People What They Want
The Kinks – Misfits
Phil Keggy – What A Day
John Lennon/The Plastic Ono Band – Live Peace In Toronto 1969 – no case
Henry Mancini – The Pink Panther
The Music Man – Original Broadway Cast
The Music Man – Original Soundtrack
New Kids on the Block – Hangin’ Tough
Our Best To You – (compilation featuring The Byrds, Aretha Franklin, Simon & Garfunkel, The Yardbirds)
Boots Randolph – The Yakin’ Sax Man
The Young Rascals – Groovin’ (features “Groovin’”)
The [young] Rascals – The Rascals’ Greatest Hits - no case
The Righteous Brothers - Greatest Hits
The Righteous Brothers – Just Once In My Life…
The Righteous Brothers – Soul and Inspiration (2 copies available)
Renaissance - Prologue
Kenny Rogers – The Gambler (features “The Gambler”)
Arthur Rubinstien – Moonlight Sonata (Three Beethoven Sonatas)
Roxy Music - Avalon
The Persuaders – Surfer’s Nightmare
Cole Porter/Fred Waring – Fred Waring Music/Cole Porter Songs
Psychedelic Lollipops - Blues Magoos (VG+ copy of this rare album. Price is $5)
Simon & Garfunkel – Bookends (no case)
Bruce Springsteen - Born In The USA
U2 – The Unforgettable Fire (features “Pride (in the name of love))
Van Halen - Halen II
Van Halen – 1984 (features “Jump” & “Hot For Teacher”)
Bobby Vinton – All Time Greatest Hits (features “Roses Are Red”) – Double LP
Wham – Make It Big (featues “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”)
Stevie Wonder – Fulfillingness’ First Finale
X – Ain’t Love Grand
Neil Young - Trans

Singles (45’s)

… Ascend To The Stars (a 4-band hardcore compilation 7 inch; original case)
Booker T & The MG’s – Mrs. Robinson b/w Soul Cap ‘69
Joe Cocker – You Are So Beautiful b/w It’s A Sin When YOU Love Somebody
Alice Cooper – I Never Cry b/w Goto Hell
Chris DeBurgh – The Lady In Red b/w The Vision
Harold Melvin and The Blue Notes - I Should be Your Lover
Harry Farmer’s – Dance Date (“Tip-Toe Through The Tulips”) (original case)
The Foundations – Build Me Up Buttercup b/w New Direction
Boy George and Culture Club – Do You Really Want To Hurt Me b/w You Know I’m…
George Harrison – Apple Scruffs b/w What Is Life
Billy Idol – Rebel Yell b/w Crank Call
Michael Jackson – Billie Jean b/w Can’t Get Outta Rain
Tom Jones – It’s Not Unusual b/w To Wait For Love
The Kinks – Who’ll Be The Next In Line b/w Everybody’s Gonna Be Happy
Madonna – Papa Don’t Preach b/w The Pretender
Paul McCartney and Wings – Live and Let Die b/w I Lie Around
Paul McCartney and Wings – Silly Love Songs b/w Cook of the House
The Monkees – A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You b/w The Girl I Knew Somehwere
The Monkees – Daydream Believer b/w Goin’ Down
Peter, Paul, & Mary – Leaving On A Jet Plane b/w The House Song
Prince – When Doves Cry b/w 17 Days
The Rolling Stones – 19th Nervous Breakdown b/w Sad Day
Diana Ross – Reach Out I’ll Be There b/w (They Long To Be) Close To You
Pat Suzuki – Pat Suzuki on Broadway (from 1959 with original case)
Wellington/Noothgrush – (hardcore/punk split 7inch; original case included)
Vision – One and The Same (7inch EP; original case included)

Yeah

I move one week from tomorrow and I have nothing done in preparation for it. This is my life...

In My Life

I would sell myself on eBay if I could. Here's the rest of the stuff I'm trying to get rid of. Bid away!

You Don't Even Know Me Anymore

I like changing up my look occasionally. But I only like it when I can easily get rid of said change, just in case it doesn't actually look good. I got some new reading glasses recently and I decided to grow a beard as well. Since I documented my haircut a couple of months ago, I figured I would do the same with my facial hair. I started with not shaving for a week. Then I shaped it over the next week. This is what occurred:



This is my artsy attempt at a self-portrait. I had a full beard.



I read. I write. I rock.



Oh, I'm just a teddy bear.



I could be the most hardcore person who is really a wuss.



Yes it's true--I will go off!

Another Case of Forgetfulness

As you may be aware, I again have not posted in a few days. I assure you, it is for a good reason. Hopefully you'll believe me. But, perhaps you'll get tired of reading that introduction on every single post and vow on your unborn children never to return to this mundane and always-ranting weblog. Either way, you will be missed.

No, the reason for my lack of writing is that I have been working since Thursday morning at 5:59 AM. I am currently doing 24-hour respite and companion care for one of the guys I take care of. His family is out of town, so I'm at his house until they return this coming Monday at 5PM. Good money, but long days.

What what...

ALMOST a WEEK and NO post

I left the eBay link up so you would buy my crap. Well, you didn't and I understand why. Basically, because it's crap! You're not interested. I get it. Well, I'm going to list some stuff again soon, so I'll be sure let you know :)

Anyway, the other day I heard something that caught my attention and I wanted to get some feedback. I heard a member of a significant band (I don't recall which one) say that "art is inherently good." It made me think. Since we are a people of a depraved state, can an inanimate object we produce have an innocent or evil nature? Is intrinsic creativity good because it is not a living organism or is it bad because it's an overflow of a marred humanity? Discuss...

Sell Sell Sell

I'm currently trying to get rid of some more stuff on eBay this week. Check it out!

Five of The Most Influential Albums On My Life

I've been trying to write this post for a few years. Picking five albums wasn't an easy obstacle to go about. These discs not only be excellent musically, but they have to stand the test of time (my test, that is). This isn't in any order, except autobiographical chronology (when I first heard the album). Also, the list isn't definitive; it probably will change in the future. But, for now, enjoy:

Petra - More Power To Ya (Star Song: 1982)



This was the very first cassette tape I ever owned (I may have had a Stryper or Whitecross tape before this but who wants to admit that?). Basically, Petra was not only my first introduction to Christian music, but to music in general. It was a good start for me. While I loved this tape, later on in life, the musical elitism that inhabits me took over and kept me from enjoying this album. However, people always seem to come back to their first loves. This album does what every Petra album did. Bob Hartman wrote very sincere spiritual tunes that always had catchy hooks and ballad-esque melodies. The band used a lot of 70s influential sounds (Pink Floyd, Yes, etc) on this particular album to make what some consider an outdated effort. However, part of the greatness of this record is its ability to only use non-modern sounds as an exterior, and layer the tracks with very gritty, driving rock. I still enjoy most of the songs on this album.

Tears For Fears - Songs From The Big Chair (PolyGram: 1985)



It was August of 1985 and I had just entered kindergarten. This album was blowing up the charts during the summer months. England's finest duo with bouncy mullets were the American sensation. Tears For Fears, whom played Brit-pop before there was even such a classification, meddled in pop and new wave sounds. This album doesn't just contain a trio of the biggest hits during the 80s decade ("Shout," "Everybody Wants To Rule The World," & "Head Over Heels"), but it also ventures into the realm of rock and jazz. Lyrically, the universal message of failed relationships and the peace that can lie beyond bad fights is a great hard-to-find discovery on the radio. Twenty-one years later, this album is still very listenable.

Boyz II Men - II (Motown: 1994)



In junior high school, I moved away from just listening to what was on the radio to listening to what all my friends were digging at the moment; not much maturity there, no? While being very much into rap music and the hip hop culture, I discovered Boyz II Men on their debut album (which was actually my very first CD). When II came out, it blew me away. I still consider Boyz II Men one of the premier groups in popular and R&B music. Way before our current incarnation of boy bands, these four guys from Philadelphia made music in the way of The Temptations, except that they sang in four part harmony. Some of the most beautiful songs are on this disc ("On Bended Knee" & "Water Runs Dry"). The guys even cover The Beatles song "Yesterday" and do it in such a way that is not only complimentary, but also poses the question, which is the better version? Having an accomplished publisher like Babyface write songs isn't a bad way to go. But, some of the guys even contributed their input to a number of songs on this album. If you have never heard any songs on this CD, I only have one question for you: Have you never listened to the radio?

Further Seems Forever - The Moon Is Down (Tooth & Nail: 2001)



I have said many times that this record is my favorite album of all time. Pre-Dashboard Confessional for Chris Carrabba and initially all of the members of the amazing band Strongarm, this is a post-hardcore masterpiece. A fine line between emo and rock, the soaring vocals make this piece of art quite the moving message of hope. The album's title, taken form the John Steinbeck novel of same name, is also the introduction of the album as the first song. As the sound of an airplane taking off plays, the album does the same, busting out ten songs that sound like nothing before it. I really believe that this incarnation of the band could have been world conquering. Knowing what Carrabba wrote on the first two Dashboard records and hearing what the rest of FSF did on their other albums, this group could have been phenomenal. Yet, as fate would have it, this is the only piece of history defining music we would get from these five guys. The nearly forty minutes of music on this CD never wears thin. Of everything I have written about here today, everyone should listen to this album at least twice.

The Beatles - Revolver (Capital: 1966)



I came out of the womb listening to The Beatles. I enjoyed the band as a kid, which is a direct influence my Dad impressed upon me. However, my appreciation for the group was uninformed and quite misguided. I just lumped John, Paul, George, and Ringo into an "oldies" category and I did it for twenty years. This is an outlandish and horribly erroneous error. These guys did more for music than anyone in history (with the exception of classical music). Little things in recording, packaging, engineering, and production that the boys from Liverpool did is what culminated into a fitting and universally recognized tag line: 'the greatest band ever!' Revolver wasn't the first Beatles album I heard in completion, but it was the first that made me believe that these guys deserve more credit than I gave them. Their previous release in 1965 (Rubber Soul) was where they went from more of a pop sound to the rock side. Yet, this album is where it all started. The experimentation, changing stylistically and the ideas flowing rampant, The Beatles pushed the envelop forward for the first time. Then they would do it again and again and again. This is what changed rock. VH1 thinks this is the greatest rock record of all time. It's probably close. If it wasn't for this band, their innovations, and their craft, we might not have ever thought music could be art.

Part One: Shhh

I hopped in my car tonight
Heading east
Just trying to get out of this small town
All I found along the way
Were signs of frustration
Nothing but detours and exits
All leading back here
Why can't I get away from you
I see that smile every where I go
I wanted you then
And I want you now
But I don't know if what I want
Is what's best for you

Part Two: Hmmm

In spite of what you said
I may be better off dead

Instead of living here with you
I could live in a world where everything wasn't blue

These things that I think and say
Are the emotions that help me struggle through another day

Everything within me wants to break free
Going along without everybody's sympathy

Trying to stay honest and be true
Not to myself because I have nothing left to lose

I'll Catch You

Okay, this might be long or short. I've written it in my mind, but as of yet, have not typed out the thoughts. Thus the reason for the rambled yet-to-be-fully-developed thought process.

Pre-Script: I know the conclusion before I even start--God's timing!

My pal Neil wrote a post at DYL which deals with the same subject matter. It somewhat influenced this, but this is really stuff I've been dealing with for a few weeks now. Suffice to say, nobody has inspired this post. Just me. Me and my self-loathing. It's a hoot.

I want to be married, and I'm ready, I think.

I'm as ready as I can be, but I probably could be more prepared, as with anything in this life. I'm not altogether really sure what it takes or what it requires. There isn't a real checklist or anything. I know there is a process, perhaps, but that only seems to be part of the problem. I am sure that I am on my way to becoming a man after God's own heart (the process is just so painfully slow). I know, more than anything, that's what it takes to be a good husband to a wife. My slow spiritual status is not just the problem.

I would like to write about how I do the right thing when looking for a mate, but it's not true. In pursuing potential spouses, I delegate ladies into four categories:

A. Women that I am attracted to and would consider dating.
B. Women that are attractive, but have ruined that by doing something stupid.
C. Women that I am not attracted to at all and would just consider friends.
D. Women that were once not attractive in my eyes, but now are.

That's it. It's a simple process. Easier than calculus. I'm sure most guys do this too. (I've been told by women that most girls do this as well.) Factually, more men probably just have the two categories (attracted to and not). I'm at least branching out. The multiple choice series I have presented here is ridiculous. Why should I think that I can degrade women to a simple list? I don't know either. But, I guess the list isn't the worse thing ever. It's not the best either.

So, back to my point. I'm ready to get married. But I don't know what it takes. I mean, as far as being able to support myself, save money, pay off debt, pay my bills, be independent, etc, I've got it all down (not that I'm currently doing it). I am pretty mature. I go to work without ever really calling out. I've got this adulthood thing down! Yet, I'm still alone. Like Elton John said, "Sad songs say so much." Although, he was singing about a dude.

This may sound cliche or even a bit prideful, but I know some of you reading this [the opposite sex, mind you] who would want to possibly marry me, and that's flattering, really. I've probably even considered you, too. I actually bet I've thought about you (if I've met you; maybe even if I haven't). That's just who I am.

I have thought about marrying a ton of girls. I'm a bit slutty in the manner. I can't help that though. I always think about it. I don't really date women who I don't consider marriage material. I don't really date. I pursue relationships and when that fizzles out, I commence with the messing around. I am a plague.

So... where is this going? I told you, nowhere.

This post has nothing specifically about the Bible, but I have sought it, so don't think I'm not going there. I'm just trying to work through these thoughts. What is this marriage stuff about? Neil thinks it's about finding a helpmate and I agree. I just want my helpmate to attract me. Not just with her body; mind, soul, spirit, intellect, humor, wit, brashness, selflessness, sinful nature--all those things. Whoever I choose to be with, will have to be a sinner like me. I can't win with these high expectations. I'm kidding. Someone who is a sinner, how many times do you hear a guy say that? Let's be real. I'm worse than you. But, none our righteous. So here we are again.

It's really so simple. Seek God, and all these things will be given. I make jokes, but that's what I need to do. Does this include talking about dating to every girl I am good friends with? Probably not. Does it hurt? Maybe not. I don't know. I'm giving up on what I know to be true. I'm trying to redefine my definitions. But ask me tomorrow. Ask me if I've thought more about God doing this for me or me helping me. When I help myself, that is when I'm the most helpless.

Ch... Ch... Ch... Changes

I move again in a month or so. Weird.

This is my phone

The Samsung SGH-d407


I like it, a lot.

I Did It

Well, here's the scoop: I got a cell phone today. After years of remarks, comments and outright disgust, I finally got one. I'll email you my number. If you would like to be included in that email, write me an email and give me your address (especially if you know I don't have yours). This is way more money I want to spend. But as a sort of on-going birthday present my Mom is helping me with it. It's only two years of my life. Two years, sheesh... I haven't even had a relationship that long.

Take In Forgiveness; Everyone Deserves It

Okay, despite a similar post written nearly a year ago, I am serious about getting a cell phone. Although, now I have changed the details a tad. I don't want a plan. The cheapest is Sprint and that is $30 a month. I need that money. I would like to only hear from people who have pay-as-you-go or pre-paid time cell phones. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Please and thank you.

Hearts Once Nourished With Hope and Compassion

Calling all New Orleanian cellular phone users (pun intended). I am interested in getting a cell phone. Please share your opinions on which plan is the best, what you have and/or your likes and dislikes. Also, please share the advantages/disadvantages to signing a contract versus the "on-the-go" phones. Anybody who has a phone can share their input, really, but I mainly want to see how service is in New Orleans. Thanks.

"How the girls can turn to ghosts before your eyes"

Hi, how are you? I am fine. I wanted to take a second and thank everyone who contributed to making my 26th birthday a very memorable day. Thanks for the emails, phone calls, My Space comments, cards, and gifts. It is much appreciated.

I also wanted to mention a couple things. As I get older, I tend to try newer things or do stuff that I haven't ever done before without much resistance. It's not that I'm trying to become more adventurous or anything. I guess I'm just not as worried about things as I once was. Shoot, maybe things come to me with more ease now. Two things: The other day, I bought a new pair of jeans. However, this time was different. The section I chose to shop in was the ladies department. I bought a pair of girl jeans (Levis). For the record, I wear like a 15 medium in girls (I can fit in a 13, but they're too tight). I like the way they fit tighter than guy jeans in my size. That's the only reason. Don't fret; I look pretty good and in no way am I gay. The other thing I did was to purchase a song from iTunes. This is a popular thing (as is the trend for guys to wear girls jeans). But I have never done it before. I bought a Dashboard Confessional song with the wonderful title "The End of an Anchor" which is a B-side from the critically acclaimed A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar. Supposedly, Chris (ala Dashboard) is a Christian. This song is, again supposedly, about his relationship with God. Since I have never heard it, I'm sure you haven't either. And I wanted to share the words with you because they are very thoughtful and introspective.

I was away for a while
But I'm hoping someday you'll forgive me
Though I don't deserve it
I'll cherish it well if you give me one of your new starts

Just one more last chance
I swear that I'll earn it
If you front me for now
I'm good for it I swear
I'm better now I swear

In earlier days, they'd persecute people
They'd carry them off, and hobble their legs
For lesser offenses, THEN how I have harmed you
And still you allow me to walk free of pain

Though I punish myself
I will never settle
The debts I've incurred for scorning the face
Of absolute beauty, and measureless grace
And though I once mocked you
I'm dying to pay for it now
I'm dying to pay for it now

So hand me the rocks to help weigh me down
And tether my legs with a cord tightly bound
To the end of an anchor thrown into the sound
And test me to see if I will rise against the worst that it can get

I wasn't well for a while
I savored the things that I knew were sure to destroy me
And that seemed to hold me
That seemed to carry me where I couldn't go
On the strength of my own
Well, I should've known
That gets me nowhere
I've learned that now I swear

In earlier days, they'd persecute people
They'd carry them off, and hobble their legs
For lesser offenses, THEN how I have harmed you
And still you allow me to walk free of pain

Though I punish myself
I will never settle
The debts I've incurred for scorning the face
Of absolute beauty, and measureless grace
And though I once mocked you
I'm dying to pay for it now
I'm dying to pay for it now, now, now

So hand me the rocks to help weigh me down
And tether my legs with a cord tightly bound
To then end of an anchor thrown into the sound
And test me to see if I will rise against the worst that it can get

Well, I wasn't sure that I could
Well, I wasn't sure that I could
Well, I wasn't sure that I could
But, I can

Many Ploys

Life goes on rather you're ready for it or not. Most of the time, I am not. Most people aren't either. Matter factly, I spend a lot of time just trying to catch up with everyone else. I sometimes feel behind the crowd. I don't worry about that usually. All of this somehow proves that I ready for change. And change, yes change, will soon come.

carrie and her fanatical ideas

a swarm of enemies fly beneath
pj harvey is a breath of relief
consumerism is my only ancestry
it's a great commentary
thanks for those
whose deaths chose
the situations
and all of the pathetic attempts at complications

criticize me not
level this playing slot
never one to contrive
blinded candid dive
sit between metalloid sleeves
getting beyond these dry heaves
delivering news faster than
someone who can
throw a paper out of the car window

waiting for my pizza to get cold
i feel so tired and live so old
backwards, forwards
receiving a lot of awards
get home from work
sucked dry by those little jerks
i stay up so late
i never have a date

For You To Poop On

During the upcoming weeks before my move, I will be selling a lot of my junk on the internet. I am currently getting rid of some things on eBay. The only items listed now are some old cassette tapes of mine. Real cheap! If you wish to take a look, you can find it here. Thanks.

If Only Other Things Were This Reliable

My car has reached a pinnacle. 200,000 miles. I hope it can stay this dependable until I get another vehicle.

A Season of Faith's Perfection

So, yesterday, I went the whole day at work without using the bathroom. I didn't try to do it; it just happened to be what I did. That's never happened before in my life. Today is a new day. I really don't want it to happen again.

I'm almost old...

In twenty-two days, I'll be twenty-six years old.

I'm in the prime of my life! I know that. I also know that age is a relative object of existence and maturity. And then there are the times when I just feel exceptionally ancient. We all do, I think, but sometimes I actually feel fifty. A lot has to do with common twentysomething expectations and frustrations. But most of my issues deal with who I am now rather than who I will be.

Humans often make attempts to let their careers or statuses speak for themselves. If a person is a medical student, they make sure to mention that in conversations related to the topic of the field or in dialogure about their vocational pursuit. If someone has a job that pays over one hundred thousand a year, they make a point to explain it. The way that person communicates it is just in their speech or in their possessions. So why am I not doing that?

I don't know.

Why do I do anything? Probably because I think it will make me feel better or somehow make my appearance seem better than it is. I'm more worried about what I'm doing now than what I'll be doing five, ten, or even twenty years down the road. I understand the logic of dedicating concern for the daily happenings because the next day has enough issues itself. Yet, I am more worried about temporal pleasures than investing in things that will matter in the future. A for instance would be watching a DVD now to enjoy the evening rather than reading or studying something of significane. Another example: making out with a girl when I'm in the mood rather than trying to pursue a relationship that could possibly grow into more substantial fruition. You see, I am more worried about the now than the next. It's killing me.

If this seems incoherent, that's because it is.

"That ain't gonna fly when you're twenty five" - The Soft Drugs

Adventitious/Advantageous

Is anyone else having trouble logging onto my space these days? I am getting frustrated and nothing I do works. I can view profiles, but cannot sign in to read my email.

Reading

New Orleans is Louis Armstrong, his cheeks swelling up as he plays, his horn tilting toward heaven, the instrument a seemingly inexhaustible source of melody and percussion and swing. Armstrong carried the joyful sound of jazz--a music born of the crazy-quilt, shotgun marriage of races and heritages that make up his native city--around the world, and the world fell in love with it. And to fall in love with jazz or its bastard child, rock 'n' roll, is to fall in love with New Orleans.

"Hard Times in the Big Easy," Time: Hurricane Katrina - The Storm That Changed America, December 2005, page 29.

In Memoriam

This is to remember Private Shadrick Wall who fought and died serving his country in The War Between The States.

What's Wrong With Me?

I have sat here, typed a paragraph's worth of thoughts, deleted and retyped many times today. Many. I literally have nothing to say. Everything meaningless is rather easy to put into words. The superfluous flows without any resemblance of concern for the hearer or what the listener asked for. But the important vernacular is far from my lips right now. Very far. So much so, I have nothing to write.

There, I got a paragraph. I better quit while I'm ahead.

Okay, here it is:

I'm moving back to New Orleans.

"Penetration"

"'Cause if it isn't making dollars
Then it isn't making sense
If you aren't a moving unit
Then you're not worth the expense
If you really want to make it
You had best remember this:
If it isn't penetration
Then it isn't worth a kiss"

David Bazan, Control

exhortation

"Just keep doing whatever it is you think God is wanting you to do until you hear him telling you to do something else" - Dr. Larry Purcell

Thanks for the advice, doc!

You May Wonder What Will Happen Next

So, I have finally reached a decision about what I'm doing for the fall as to living arrangements and schooling. That decision is... I'm again confused. A phone call tomorrow may help. I will let you know (when I know).

Mean, Medium, Mode

Picking apart words for meaning makes one weary.
The dictionary and thesaurus are tools; not sacred writings.
Desperation makes you void—
Being void makes you desperate.
Sinking ships for love only agitate.
Those who will want to someday be free from deception.
Only truth can consciously separate the will and the divine.
Heresy.

Heresy?

Linguistics

I love how people make blanket statements, but then totally mean another thing in word and action. Example, people who say, I'm not a [insert ideology they're not: Marxist, Racist, Fascist], but I think [insert the typical ideological conclusion they claim not to be]. Okay, here's your chance to stereotype me.

I'm not a Maoist, but I...

This Summer is Already Dubbed: You're So Last Summer

I went shopping earlier this week to look for a new pair of kicks (a.k.a. shoes). Upon arrival at a number of stores, a weird phenomenon happened. At two completely different sporting goods stores (Champs Sports and Sports Authority), I was confused for an employee of the store. This in itself isn't that ironic of a occurrence, as it happens from time to time. Yet, the reactions of the man and woman who confused me for an employee were separate issues altogether. I was dressed professional casual, as I had just come from work (blue polo shirt with typical gold striped design, tan khaki pants, brown slip-on shoes). Both of the stores, however, implore a different type of outfit for their salespeople. They go with a jersey-looking top and dark trousers, neither of which I was currently wearing. At Sports Authority, the man looked to me to help him get a pair of shoes down from a high shelf. He asked, "Do you work here?" When I told him that I didn't, he still appeared to want some help. I was in a hurry, though, and it didn't cross my mind until later that he might have been seeking assistance from anyone who would have helped. So yeah, I had my work badge on that day too. But the funny thing is, my very particular Eau Gallie High School badge doesn't look like a badge those stores have for their workers. It has my picture on it, too, what kind of shoe store has their employees pictures on it? The lady at Champs was the funniest and most annoying of the two. She had the foresight to look at my badge and call me by name (that always annoyed me when I worked at in customer services jobs anyway): "Jeff, are these running shoes?" She repeated the question when I didn't bother to look. I didn't look at her because, well, we all know that I don't work there! The third time she questioned me, there was much more force behind her words. I looked at her this time. She again posed the question to me, again with more enthusiasm, as if she was frustrated with me. I looked at her puzzled, flabbergasted, and quite annoyed considering this was the second time this had happened that day. When I informed her I didn't work there, she looked at the real employee, looked back at me and shrugged her shoulders like it was an innocent mistake. This is the clincher though. She then directed the question to the Champs guy, but she gave me the dirtiest look. It was like she was saying "You're no help to me now," which I wasn't, but still, I was frustrated. She kept looking at me, just giving me dirty looks when I looked back at her. Plus, she was loud, yelling at her very undisciplined teenager, and talking complete crap the whole time. When I left the store, I gave her a dirty look back.

The End.

P.S. I only bought shirts that day.

This Is My Happiness

Allergies

I hate pollen. I hate smoke (and the fire in north Brevard). I hate feeling sick feelings. I hate it, hate it hate it.

My Hair (in fifty words or less)

I cut my hair the other day. This was the first time since the beginning of November. It was long. Well, long is a relative term, but it was long for me. In the process, I played with a lot of different styles. When I cut it, I did a makeshift mullet. These are the photos:



I hate putting gel in my hair. This is why. Although, I did look rather savvy.



After washing out the gunk (I actually used shaving cream) and tyring a fro.



The before picture, part one.



The before picture, part two.



The grossly-failed attempt at a mullet.



The back of my hair (funny, it looks the same as before).



Business up front, party in the back!



My hair filled up the sink.



The aftermath, part one (I like the behind the ear shot).



The aftermath, part two.

This Sunday

I will also be remembering how our Lord conquered sin and death by dying on the cross. I'm not talking about celebrating Orthodox Easter Sunday. You see, nowhere in Scripture are we commanded to just set aside one day of remembrance. No, not just one day. Every day, whether you eat or drink, whatever you do, it is to be in remembrance. Every waking moment we are mandated to celebrate the birth and resurrection, not just on Easter.

The God Post

It's been a while since I wrote anything significant. This is my attempt.

I let God down, a lot.

Amen.

I USED TO HATE PEOPLE WHO CHANGE THEIR DESKTOP PICTURES EVERYDAY, BUT NOW I HATE COMPUTERS

At midnight, as we walked
The moon was no where to be found
You and I shared a talk
And a few other things
Drinks we drunk, but now regretted
It will be a while before we can forget it
Myths fail our fabric lines
But I got to think
This isn't the only thing wrong
Go on and live day by day
Mixing the traces of being chemically restrained
I ought to have a clue
Traipsing past the stubbornness
It's always inside of what we are due
But it's always further than where we're willing to go
These are the kind of things that make me feel low

Poetry

"Let no one grieve at his poverty,
for the universal kingdom has been revealed.
Let no one mourn that he has fallen again and again;
for forgiveness has risen from the grave.
Let no one fear death, for the Death of our Savior has set us free.
He has destroyed it by enduring it."

— John Chrysostom, Bishop of Constantinople (from a sermon).

It's a Good, Good Friday

Today there is no work. That is good anyway.

I finally sent off my taxes. That's just reassuring.

Christ died on the cross for the propitiation of mankind's sin. That's better than good.

04/10/06

Today, I wanted to punch atleast one, if not more, of the kids I work with. But I didn't, so I could keep my job (and not go to jail, and so I could be able to continue to work with kids for future years, and etc). Don't judge my impulses. You've wanted to do it. Admit it!

Upcoming Events

Let's see, during the month of April, we have many events taking place at our fine school. On the 6th, we have open house. Later on in the month, our fine drama department will be performing the play Snow White. Ahh... Oh, yes, on April the 7th, we will also be hosting a CHILD LURING SEMINAR. Won't that be fun!

I actually have to go to that tomorrow. I really think they shouldn't have been so picky on the spacing and forged the credibility by adding "prevention" to the seminar title. That's what it is supposed to say!

A Presupposed History... Supposedly

Wikipedia has an interesting entry for Hurricane Katrina. While it tells the countless stories of what occurred during that fateful August day and thereafter, it also includes a lot of other information on the subject. In an enclopedian footnote, there is an entry that suggests otherwise about what happened before and after the storm. Once this link has been clicked, a massive page opens that boasts the title, "Alternative theories regarding Hurricane Katrina." Once read, you will possibly understand why so many residents of the city hate when people who know nothing about the culture, residents, or history insist that certain things happened because of these other 'reasons.' But, a neat thing about the page is that it actually mentions some of the history of what really did happen those many, many years ago. It's also really funny to read why people think Katrina happened.

Read it for yourself.

Post Script: I've noticed that a lot of people like to toot their own horn with regard to calling themselves "open minded." Yet, these people seem to be the least open minded when it comes to subjects they are not familiar with, comfortable talking about, or have knowledge of.

It's a Vice

That's what I proclaim when I explain to people that, even at twenty five, I still enjoy watching wrestling. Truthfully, it's almost embarrassing at times. I mean, I pride myself on trying to be cool. And when that doesn't work, I still try to remain somewhat intelligent and refined. However, admitting that I enjoy watching big sweaty men who grapple with each other kind of throws off all the good qualities I sometimes demonstrate. Anyway, tonight I get to watch the Superbowl of wrestling entertainment, Wrestlemania 22. It costs $50 on Pay Per View and I have only got to see it live a couple of other times. But I've seen every other year, since its inception. It's indescribable. You just have to see it to believe it. I'm watching it with a friend from work and some of his buddies. In case you are curious at the history on the twenty two year old event, you can gohere for a well-storied documentation of the history. I watched my first event (Wrestlemania 1) in 1986 and I've forever been a fan. See, it's more nostalgia than actual interest. Although, I still am a little interested.

A Mixtape of Thoughts

I got another ticket today. Jeez. I am an idiot. Let me just tell the city of Melbourne how much I love them and I am looking forward to making those guys $200 richer. No driver's course either, since I took one last September, when I got the last speeding ticket. Three points on my license. Let's see how much my insurance goes up. Seriously, this will cure me of my lead-foot habits. Seriously.

My cousin Andrea had a baby a week ago. Her second child, a precious baby named Phoebe, is doing well. HERE is a slide show that her friend (a photographer) created. Everything is beautiful, except for the random new-age-lofi-trance music that plays in the background.

My Compaq notebook will shut down properly, nor will not start up again either. I have to keep the recovery CD in for it to load, which takes like thirty tries. What does this mean? Blaize? Anyone?

Literally, my Dad has threatened to cut my hair. Like, he is serious. I don't believe that at 25 my opinions on my Beatlesesque haircut are getting him so mad that he feels the need to want to forcefully cut my hair. I have thought about this a lot. It's not just a pride issue. It's his need to control my life. In spite of him, I'm not going to cut it. This is ridiculous. I told my Mom tonight: "He's going to walk in here with some scissors, but he's going to walk out limping." That's right, I'm tough. Whatever.

First it was The Beatles. Then A-Ha. Then The Get Up Kids. Then Further Seems Forever. Now The Juliana Theory. Seriously, bands, if you want me to like you, stick around for a few years after you release amazing albums that change my life!

I have to read five chapters before tomorrow for school. It really shouldn't be such a hassle, but it is.

I miss house-sitting for people who own a jacuzzi. I really do.

This CD is not Radiohead. But it is The Appleseed Cast and I like it.

A quote I read today that I have thought much about:

"If any one note is dropped from the divine harmony of truth the music may be sadly marred."
- Charles Spurgeon, Lectures to My Students

Getting Older, Daily...

I am done house/dog sitting. I made $75 bucks, to boot!

So, I just took an online survey. You know the kind. Where a person enters his or her information, and the survey people promise him or her that he or she is qualified for a drawing of some ridiculous amount of money. Then, one takes the survey he or she was supposedly qualified for only to find that most people who do such a thing have not actually qualified for anything. Still, because one has filled the survey out, that person is now going to be entered into a drawing, but he or she still has to fill out more personal information (as if that makes the odds any greater).

Anyway, the reason I write this is to inform you that I have moved up in the age bracket of surveys. I used to fall between the 18 - 25 bracket. But now, apparently, that's no longer good enough. The 18 - 24 crowd has to be segregated and the 25 year olds (such as myself) have to dwell between the likes of ages 26 - 34. What gives? I was prepared to face such an encounter later on in June. But not this early. Not now.

Yes, I realize that age brackets are an independent, separate and relative operation. I'm just venting about getting old.

Dog/House Sitting

Well, the first night and almost second day of dog and house sitting is over with. So far, it's been pretty great. Having an entire house, large TV, pool, and jacuzzi to myself is, well, fantastic. So the house is great, but the dog... sigh... the dog is troublesome. The Mullins' dog is a puppy, but a very big and untrained one at that (I don't know the breed; I didn't ask). I took him [Copper] for a walk today and he watched part of Wind Talkers with me. It's getting better with him. Seriously, watching someone else's animal(s) proves how much I like the owners as friends. If I don't agree to watch your pet, that pretty much means I can't stand you. Or, I'm just busy.

It is spring break here in Brevard County and I'm loving it. I was asked last moment to work a day camp this week, but I'm thinking about saying no. Truthfully, just because I want to do nothing. I miss taking naps during the day. Oh graduate school, please come back to me!

I guess that's it for an update. Did everyone watch American Idol on Tuesday? When Chris Daughtry sang "Walk The Line" by Johnny Cash I was quite impressed. The 'rock' arrangement wasn't bad either. Chris was true to the original key, which is nice, however, he added his own take on it. I think he sang Johnny better than Joaquin Phoenix did in the movie. Yes, I'm being funny. Is it true? Maybe ;)

It Ain't California Without Her

Let's pretend
Or maybe just replay
The memories that surface in my brain

Can we go back
Or just perhaps
Wish some other time were now

You epitomize
Everything there is for me
In sunny California

But the days are colder
The snow has fallen
And you have stopped your long-distance calling

I see your face
Especially those eyes
Whenever I try to hide from life

Your boisterous laughter
Of the things I miss
Even those self-defeating sighs

It's all the moments
That make me feel
What you and I had was something real

But now it's over
You have moved away
All that remain are pictures from yesterday

Back

I'm back from Orlando and I am tired. It was good to see all of my friends. I enjoyed it. We'll have to do something again soon (Appleseed Cast in Gainsville?). Tomorrow is work, not quite the same amount of fun. But, just five days from now, the kids go on Spring Break, which means I don't have to work for a week! I am looking forward to that. Let's see if I can post more frequently this week than last. Ciao.

Feeling Better

I am feeling better now, but this is getting old. I wake up everyday. I am still congested. I still cough up mucus. I am still tired because of the medicine I'm taking. I will be glad when this is over.

I'm going to Orlando this weekend to see Justin, Jared, and Bethany. It shall be a good time.

A lady asked me to house sit for her, her husband, and three children (and dog) over my spring break. I wonder if I should tell them I don't like animals all that much? Ah, well, I'll do anything for money. (No, I won't do anything for money. Get your mind out of the gutter.)