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to whom it may concern


About Me

Jeff Watkins
Age: Still alive
Occupation: Too many things
For sale on
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My space
My library
My reviews and lists

Previous Posts

My first trip to Austin, Texas!Went to the biggest...
A Piece of Me Has Died
The fucking USPS
Today's Haul

DCFC - The Barsuk Years
Ornette Coleman - "Tomorrow Is The Question!"
Hanging out, pushing buttons
My jazz collection

Blogs I Dig

His beautiful eyes...
Melissa's Journal
Mosaic Life
Morse Coded Signals
Of Folly and of Vice
Words Are Not Enough

Soundtrack of my Life

The Appleseed Cast
David Bazan
The Beatles
Johnny Cash
Alice Cooper
Miles Davis
Death Cab For Cutie
Bob Dylan
Ben Kweller
Professor Longhair
Pink Floyd
Stretch Arm Strong
The Who
Brian Wilson

Pop Culture interests

All Music Guide
Dr. Mohler's Radio Program
Hollywood Jesus
Monsters in the Morning
View Askew
XXX Church

Reading the Classics

Christian Classics Ethereal Library
Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy


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© To Whom It May Concern 2002-2010, except for cited or source material.


Sunday, March 31, 2002

Top Five Summer Movies I am Looking Forward to Seeing (and why)

5. Signs ( New trailer looks really creepy, and it has Mel Gibson starring. I have always loved M. Night Shaylaman's films, and this one looks very promising)

4. The Next Austin Powers Movie ( The previews looked extremely funny! And I loved the first two films, so they say three times a charm.)

3. Minority Report ( Steven Spielberg directing, need I say more? I was hungry for more good sci-fi since my recent veiwing of A.I . This looks like a good follow up to Speilberg's recent achievement, and looks very visually stunning.)

2. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers ( The books were amazing, and the first film installment blew me away! Peter Jackson brought Middle Earth alive in a way I could have never imagined. The films can only get better as the storyline progresses. Frodo and Sam venturing deep into Mordor, Aragorn and company searching for Pippen and Merry. Not to mention Treebeard, Ents, more of the evil wizard Saruman, and of course The Battle of Helms Deep! )

and the number one movie I am looking forward to this summer.........

Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones ( As far as I am concerned, George Lucas can do no wrong when it comes to Star Wars movies. And I HATED Jar Jar Binks! With this new movie, we get to see things I have longed to see in the Star Wars universe: more Jedi kicking butt, Jango Fett and Obi-Wan fighting, Star Wars meets Braveheart style arena battle, and finally......Jedi Master Yoda using a lightsaber! All the film's trailers have been amazing, and the most recent one really makes me anxious. I am already excited about the fact that the dvd will be out before Thanksgiving, so may the Force be with you)

posted by Justin at 7:09 PM

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Friday, March 29, 2002

I have a math test today, I think I am going to fail it. I am really bad at math, I just cannot grasp it! I have tried doing lots of homework, tutoring, ect! It just does not work for me. Maybe by some miracle I will pass!

posted by Justin at 9:38 AM

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Thursday, March 28, 2002

Shameless Plug

For those of you who care (and those who don't) I have another blog. It is not updated much due to the fact that I only have a sense of humor about as often as Stallone has a good movie! I think it's pretty funny stuff, and I need some traffic. So visit and tell me how much you love (or hate) the site. The latest post is one that Wendy has been trying to get me to write about since she told me the story. So check out my humor site, and be made aware!

posted by Justin at 10:56 PM

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Tuesday, March 26, 2002

In case you don't know, my brother Caleb has a band. They just cut an acoustic ep which is really good. Of course I am biased, but I am serious when I tell you that they are talented. Go visit their website and maybe sign the guestbook. They have not updated in a long time, but it's at least worth a visit. There is a song they wrote called "I Lied" which talks about dealing with your past, and how Satan tempts us and causes us to fall. Well as for me, Satan has really been after me this week, and I have let him win a few times. I also still deal with my past alot, I do not have this really horrible past, but there are things I have done that I wish I could take back, or at least forget. Satan likes to bring all my past up and remind me about all of it, and it's hard sometimes. I don't like remembering it. You ever had those times where you know your doing wrong, and yet you do it anyway? I hate knowing I have failed God in some area of my life. Sometimes I just want to curse free will and the fact that God gave us a choice. Because nine times out of ten, I make the wrong choice. Of course thats why Jesus has unlimited forgiveness, and yet I wish He did not have to forgive me so much. I wish things would be a little easier sometimes, and I wish I could take alot of things back that I have done wrong. All in all I am asking for prayer. So please pray for me. I am going to post the song by Consumed and hopefully it will speak to you. God bless.

I Lied

Tonight I lied with the devil

In this bed of mine

Seducing me with all his riches

I had blinded eyes

Desensitizing my convictions

He struck a deadly blow

He left me in need of redemption

Forsaking all I've known


Why can't I forget the past?

And forge my heart with something that will last

Why cant I forget the pain

That encompassed so much guilt and pain


Tonight I lied with the devil

I turned this heart of mine

Reducing me to his level

How could I be so blind?

I never dreamed that I would be here

On my face again

Deceiving me from the beginning

I thought you were my friend


posted by Justin at 4:19 PM

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Monday, March 25, 2002

Welcome to Monday. School has resumed and I was not ready. I have not missed school one bit, I loved the fact that I was not having to go to class. I enjoyed NOT thinking about all the insane amounts of homework that I have to do. I liked Spring Break, and I hated seeing it end. And yet somehow, I feel a peace inside myself. God has been good to me, and He has been patient with me. I cannot express how thankful I am that He has been so faithful to me. Just pray that I will get through this week, and get homework done.

posted by Justin at 9:36 AM

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Thursday, March 21, 2002

It is Thursday night here in Miami Florida, and I am just chilling. I figured I should tell you all about all the money I have spent so far. First of all I must point out how I "limited" myself to spending $25 for the entire week. Well now I am up to about $50, but I have made some interesting purchases. This afternoon Mike and I went to a mall where we both proceeded to buy new shirts. Mike bought a Dragonball Z shirt, whereas I got a Batman logo shirt, and a Bob Marley shirt. I got the Bob Marley shirt for free, which was cool. We walked the mall for a little bit and then proceeded to go to the movies. We saw Showtime, which proved to be quite funny. Of course I have grown to like anything with Robert DeNiro in it. That is pretty much the extent of my day. I am gearing up for the nice 10 hour drive home, which I am not looking forward to. We are making a stop in Madison Florida to watch my brother's band play, so keep them in prayer and that God will do a work. I am also hoping to post my thoughts on Requiem for a Dream and give the film my own review. I have never done a film review before, but I have wanted to review this movie for a long time. But that is a few days away, so tell you friends! As soon as something else interesting happens, I will update. God bless.

posted by Justin at 8:28 PM

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Alas, Another Day....

Much like Mr. McLeod I have been in Miami as well. I work for a phone survey company called Turner Research and we are down here working for the week. We are interviewing pastors of local churches and asking them their visions, joys, and struggles. I think the most 'vital piece of information I've gotten out of this is the fact that I can honestly say, they're some deeply concerned ministers in the world. Not to bash on my ''white' heritage in all, but we as Americans are so spoiled. I see hispanic, haitian, french/creole, Caribbean pastors just doing there thing for the Lord. While I see a lot of bickering and complaining amongst the white anglo saxon protestant pastors. Jeez, if I could share more or say more or tell stories I would. I even got asked by a french/creole pastor to come down and speak to his english speaking youth during my Christmas break. I gave him my address and information. I was really encouraged. Tonight we went to this huge, massive, indescribably large fair. We helped the Miami Baptist Association hand out copies of the New Testament. Talk about 'Christian Ministry'. That in itself either gets you really fired up or really disheartened. A lot of smiling joyous faces and then some not so friendly ones.

On a topic that I don't think has been addressed so much on here. Atleast it is relevant for us guys to talk about. LUST! It is sin and it sux. I often complain about the ''bubble'' our school is contained in. All the Christian this and Christian that makes someone go bonkers after a little while. Just ditsy girls, way too many smiling faces, and a butt load of fruitless conversation. Well, tonight I can honestly say I missed it. This is place is one big stumbling block. I even try to avoid looking at females and they are more in the opposite direction. It's crazy. What's scary is the fact that I realize this is something that all guys struggle with and my, myself, and I are my own worst enemies to me, myself, and I. I have a feeling though I know why this is happening. You see, I have a good friend who is one of my closet friends and her and I are praying about a relationship. Now, as of yet, I don't know the outcome. However, I have a feeling that satan is trying to use this worldly desire of the flesh to throw me off track. In my life, I can say I stumble, but I have been mostly victorious in this area. It's scary because I haven't had to fight so hard in my life, which leads me to think that this thing with my friend is real. Please pray for me as I try to discern God's perfect will for my so very inadaquit life. I don't pray for it to be God's will for her to be in my life, I pray to be able to figure out if it is God's will for her to be in my life. Just a note, if you haven't ever seen me on here or heard my name, yeah I've been gone for a month, but I wanted to throw this out while I had the spare moments of the evening/early morning. I'm Jeff and I'm gonna dip for now, but not forever.

Love and Hatred

Jeff Watkins

posted by Jeff Watkins at 12:40 AM

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Tuesday, March 19, 2002

It's Tuesday morning here in Miami Florida. It feels like a vacation, and I have just been relaxing and enjoying myself. My first impressions of the city were not much to write about. It was 2 am when we arrived, so my brain was not functioning very well, The next day was Saturday, and Mike's mom made us breakfast. Eggs, bacon and biscuts! It felt great to have a full breakfast that did not taste like crap. After breakfast Mike and I went to his church, which was near his house. He wanted to see some of his friends and let me meet some of them. It was quite interesting. Mike's friends consist of mostly high school kids, which is a big change for me. I dont mind high school girls (i dated one) as much as I mind guys. Girls can be really mature, and better looking as well. But I did enjoy myself, even without the presence of many females.

That night we went to a party at Tara's house. Tara is one of Mike's friends whom I had met once when she came to visit Graceville. It was pretty fun. We watched Zoolander, which completly sucked. Mike and I both hated it. By that point I was tired, it was late, and my body had still not gotten back to normal from the previous days of staying up really late. Thankfully everyone was getting ready to leave, so we made it home by about midnight, and I hit the bed and was asleep in 5 minutes.

posted by Justin at 10:26 AM

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Thursday, March 14, 2002

It's funny how you make plans, and then somehow for one reason or another, the plans change. Tonight's original plan was to go to Dothan and watch The Time Machine. It was all planned out, and we were all set to go, or so we thought. Well we were all sitting in the school cafeteria and the conversations just kept coming. We discussed everything from football to Star Wars 101 (which is an actual class at some college). In fact, there is a research project that apparently is trying to find a way to make a real lightsaber! It seems the only snag is trying to find a way to contain the laser beam. Which seems to be a tough thing to do considering that a laser beam is infinite, but there has been some progress. I would be very interested to know excatly who is the head of this operation and how it is going. I for one will be the first in line to buy a lightsaber when they go on the market. I would hope they would not be too expensive, maybe a litte more than a gun though. I mean a lightsaber is far more advanced then a gun in every way. Besides, how cool would it be to have a green saber like in Return of the Jedi? Hopefully it will come out soon, then the Taliban would really have something to fear: Star Wars fans with their own lightsabers! The Jedi Knights are back in the house baby!

So that was the first half of the night, the second half explored the dark side of the Force. Instead of going to Dothan a few of us went back to my house and watched Requiem for a Dream. That is one of the most powerful films ever made. It shows the horrors of addiction and the agony of lonliness,and every high school kid (and college) should see this movie. Although it is not for the squeamish or faint of heart, so use caution. And it is not a happy feel good movie, in fact it is very dark and depressing, but is very realistic in it's portrayal of characters. If anyone has seen this film, feel free to comment about it and tell me what you thought.

Also pray for me, I am going to Miami for a week with my friend Mike, so hopefully all will be well. I will try and update at least once or twice while I am there. But for now, peace out.

posted by Justin at 11:00 PM

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Tuesday, March 12, 2002

Since You Care

I know you've been concerned in my absence. So sensing how deeply you care I will now attempt to catch you up on the current events of my life. I've been going to classes most of the time. I've been taking mid-terms. I've been listening to and loving the new Jars of Clay album. Oh, and I've been working on my site, Eye Level. I did not mean that as a shameless plug, but since it will be taken that way I'll post an excerpt of an article by Peter Travers in Rolling Stone,

"This site is the best thing that ever happened to me, only being surpassed by the time I got Cameron Crowe's job here at the magazine. Whatever happened to that guy? I love that Chase kid, as though he were my own son. He and that Beardhat character are going to redefine the film industry. Believe me I've seen the home movies. And I hear they got the brilliant child prodigy, the young Watkins to arrange the soundtrack. Until the long awaited release of that film we should all do ourselves the favor of regularly reading their sites."

You heard it here first. Hey, anyone else excited about the re-release of E.T.this weekend?

posted by Chase at 3:39 PM

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Monday, March 11, 2002

What I Miss

I was thinking tonight about what I missed about a girl. I have been single for two years, and to put it bluntly, I am ready to end the streak. I think the biggest thing I miss it the conversation and the time you get to spend with a girl. I love the memories of talking and laughing. I love to think about all the stupid things I said, and how it did not matter to her. I miss how a girl will laugh at your jokes just because you made the effort to make her laugh. I miss getting a call from a girl telling me how much she misses me and how she cant wait to see me. I miss being able to go to a movie and hold someones hand, and praying the movie never ends so that the moment will last. I miss seeing a girl smile when she sees me again. I miss the feeling of going to bed at night knowing I am on her mind. I miss the way a girl would look at me with her eyes, and make me never want to look away. I miss being able to kiss her at the end of the night, or any other time for that matter. I miss thinking up ways to make her day brighter. I miss long conversations about anything and everything. I miss flirting with her. I miss holding her. I miss wondering what does she see in me. And finally I miss praying every night and thanking God that He gave her to me, and that she will stay with me forever.

posted by Justin at 12:13 AM

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Sunday, March 10, 2002

What has Happened So Far

Friday night I did homework, and then went over to a friends house and we played HALO on xbox. I have never had that much fun playing video games since I was a kid with my first Nintendo. We had 4 xboxes and 4 tv's, all which were linked together. I pretty much had a tv to myself the whole night, so it was nice to snipe the other players in full screen. I was actually quite surprised that I held my own against all the veteran HALO players. Needless to say, everyone had their own style of playing. Although most of us preferred to use the sniper rifle to pick of our enemies, which gave for some very interesting games. I am not gonna bore you with "war stories" of our games, the only thing I will mention is that we played until 2:30 am. So it was a long, but enjoyable night.
On Saturday not much happened during the day, I went to Circle Grill with Mike, Scotty and Chaz. While we were eating we discussed various topics,such as drinking and smoking and why it was so taboo among christians. We came to some conclusions, of which I will not post right now due to time constraints. Also that night we went and saw Queen of the Damned, which was actually good. I will admit, I was not too excited about it because I was a big fan of Interview with the Vampire, and I liked Tom Cruise as Lestat. I looked at it kinda like when they replaced Micheal Keaton with Val Kilmer as Batman. But thankfully Stuart Townsend played a decent Lestat, and the movie was pretty good.

posted by Justin at 12:02 PM

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Thursday, March 07, 2002

AI and the Kevin Bacon game
Well to update my 5 person readership let me first start out by saying I got all my homework done! ( Insert round of applause here) In fact, it really only took me about an hour to do it all. Who's the man?? Well after my homework I sat down and watched AI, which was really good. It was great to see a really good sci-fi story come along finally. I found the movie to be very disturbing in some parts, and very sad in others. The movie had mixed reviews when it came out, and I can understand why. It is not a movie for everyone, and some people just do not like those kind of films. I am not talking about critics here, in fact I think critics are insane anyways. Basically my point was that I really liked the movie, and I recommend it. I cried when I saw it (yeah I am a sap, but thats me). I also came to the conclusion (I was in denial for a long time) that I am a movie nerd. Ask anyone! I am always talking about one movie or another, or making some movie reference. I enjoy it, but I wonder if people get tired of it. Oh well, frankly my dear I don't give a ....(shut your mouth). Ok that was a Gone with the Wind/Shaft reference. See?? I am a movie nerd! In fact, tonight, Chase, TR and I played the Kevin Bacon game. Now for those of you who have no idea what that is, I will explain. You pick any actor, and you have to somehow link him to Kevin Bacon, using other actors and their roles in movies. Like this: Link Kevin Bacon and Ben Affleck. Well Ben Affleck played in Reindeer Games with Gary Sinise, and Gary Sinise playe in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon. See how it works? It is alway fun to just try and link two random actors. Try linking John Wayne and Harrison Ford. (I did this on in two moves) Comment and tell me your Kevin Bacon stories, or whatever else you would like to say. No rude comments please, or you will be hunt down and sent off to catholic school.
p.s ....the answer to my two move John Wayne/Harrison Ford link comes tomorrow night. So be excited, or at least fake it for my sake.

The Movie Nerd

posted by Justin at 11:01 PM

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Wednesday, March 06, 2002

Todays Thoughts

I think life has a funny way of making you think yours is simple, and yet you realize how truly complicated it really is. Take me for example: I woke up yesterday morning with full intentions of going to class and "getting my learn on"! But it was not to be. Instead I found myself faced with the impending doom of ....well you guessed power getting turned off. Now before you all freak out, let me assure you that I am fine and unhurt (well my wallet is hurting), and the power is still on. I had to pay a deposit because my former roomate moved out, and we transferred the account to my name. So now I am out $120, and paying the deposit involved my driving to Chipley! Man, things just got all out of whack! I missed both my classes, and found out that I have a research proposel due in both of them by tomorrow. And on top of that, I have TWO midterms in those same classes, and one midterm in my sociology class, all on Thursday. This really sucks! I have too much to do, and the sad part is: I have time to do it in! I just lack the motivation! Now comes the part of the show where I say I wish I had a girl ,and she would come and put her arm around me and say "Its ok". "I wish I had a girl who would come and put her arm around me and say 'It's ok'. " Ok, so I thought it was kinda funny, feel free to make fun of me using the handy little comment box!

Speaking of girls, not to sound concieted, but I really dont understand why I am still single. I was under the impression that girls liked guys who were sweet and funny, and who made them laugh. I always thought girls wanted to be treated like a queen , and told nice things, and all that sappy stuff which I confess, I love to do. To be quite honest, I have not had a girl to really talk to in a long time. Yeah, I have people that I talk to in passing, and the occasional cafeteria conversation, but I am talking intimacy here. Not physical intimacy you stinking perv! I am talking about being able to talk to a girl. Conversation is such a lost art in this day and age. No one knows how to talk anymore. It is really sad. I see alot of guys using talking to get way too much sympathy from girls. Hey, don't get me wrong, I like a girl to give me attention when I am having a bad day. But that never happens, the girl part anyways. The key to conversation initially is to get to know the other person, finding out interests, hopes ,dreams ,beliefs,ect. I know that always makes me feel good, when someone actually takes interest in what I am all about. Thats the beauty of being human, the ablity of knowing somones soul and spirit,not just what is on the outside. Besides we all get wrinkley and nasty when we are older anyways! So I hope somone will someday let me get to know them as a person, then maybe later on, romance will follow. If that does not work, theres always love poems! (hehe)

posted by Justin at 2:03 PM

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I am excited, it looks like I may have at least two more visitors to my site. Who knows maybe they will even comment!

posted by Justin at 1:28 PM

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Monday, March 04, 2002

Recap on Sunday

Sunday was a good day, for the most part. I hung out with Chase, and we went to dothan, where I proceeded to buy an X-box game (HALO). I think the best part of the trip was our conversations. We had this discussion on theology and christianity, and philosophy. I almost feel smart now! I thought about alot of things, one being my apparent disdain for most of what we would consider Southern Baptist dogma. It seems to me that most churches these days want to preserve western tradition more than christianity in itself. I was telling Chase how I feel like a rebel, because I feel like I am opposed to how Christians handle certian situations(read my post on boycotting and alcohol). It is almost a shame to call myself one sometimes. Of course that changes nothing about what I believe ,or who I serve. I am a follower of Christ, period. But I do not want to be looked at in the same light as some Bible thumping, pushy, self-righteous christian. Thats not an accurate represention of who Jesus is. I will post more on this subject later.

posted by Justin at 9:46 AM

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Sunday, March 03, 2002

Reflections on a Weekend

Well it seems like this weekend went good, but bad at the same time. It seems our little going away party for Ryan did not work out right, for various reasons, of which I will not discuss. Well so it was just Mike, TR, and myself having a night on the town. We went to Hooters, and I had the philly cheese steak sandwhich. Which was really good! We had some good conversations, and had a good time. Then afterwards we saw We Were Soldiers, which was a very good movie. I am not really in the mood to type alot , so let's just suffice to say that I enjoyed myself.

posted by Justin at 2:34 AM

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