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to whom it may concern


About Me

Jeff Watkins
Age: Still alive
Occupation: Too many things
For sale on
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My space
My library
My reviews and lists

Previous Posts

My first trip to Austin, Texas!Went to the biggest...
A Piece of Me Has Died
The fucking USPS
Today's Haul

DCFC - The Barsuk Years
Ornette Coleman - "Tomorrow Is The Question!"
Hanging out, pushing buttons
My jazz collection

Blogs I Dig

His beautiful eyes...
Melissa's Journal
Mosaic Life
Morse Coded Signals
Of Folly and of Vice
Words Are Not Enough

Soundtrack of my Life

The Appleseed Cast
David Bazan
The Beatles
Johnny Cash
Alice Cooper
Miles Davis
Death Cab For Cutie
Bob Dylan
Ben Kweller
Professor Longhair
Pink Floyd
Stretch Arm Strong
The Who
Brian Wilson

Pop Culture interests

All Music Guide
Dr. Mohler's Radio Program
Hollywood Jesus
Monsters in the Morning
View Askew
XXX Church

Reading the Classics

Christian Classics Ethereal Library
Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy


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© To Whom It May Concern 2002-2010, except for cited or source material.


Tuesday, December 31, 2002

I Wrote This Just In Time

On the eve of this New Year’s beginning
I think about the times that have come and gone
This year still feels so new
But, tomorrow it will be over
Then I get to start all over
Now I don’t want to see it as new

These times make me sad
From resolutions to revolutions
My hopes are all I have
To see where I will be
What will this new time hold for me?

This time next year, where will I be?
Finding eves of New Year’s eves again and again
Hating every minute of this night’s countdown
Losing all those thousands of moments with a brief kiss
When that clock strikes and that silly ball drops
This will be the beginning of my end

It’s now new, and I will make it through
Leaving conformity and uniformity
I still will trust in what scares me
My only way to continue on and see
Maybe I will make this new year different for me

posted by Jeff Watkins at 9:40 PM

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Monday, December 30, 2002

New Year's Project
By Further Seems Forever
from the album The Moon Is Down

Your hands didnt move
well neither did mine.
New Years will bring
so much to say
but nothing comes out right
both of us left without words
both of us lost in this world
it's softer than ever before.

And you were the outline
of everything you would become.
The keeper of these hands.
To hold you now
it is a far cry more than anything that I deserve.

I'm waiting to give you whatever the world may bring
I'd give you my life
cause I don't own anything.
It seemed like the bottom was all that I had until now
I'd give you my life
if you'd give me yours somehow.

Your hands didn't move
well neither did mine
New Years will bring me to you.
I'm waiting to give you whatever the world may bring
I'd give you my life
cause I don't own anything.
It seemed like the bottle was all that I had until now
I'd give you my life
if you'd give me yours somehow.

posted by Jeff Watkins at 11:32 PM

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Sunday, December 29, 2002

Wedding Dress

I just checked out a new song from Derek Webb, one of the singer/songwriters from Caedmons Call. He is releasing a solo album called She Must and Shall Go Free in March, which I am very excited about. I had the chance to listen to the entire album the other day, and I was very impressed. I have been very dissapointed with most "christian" music over the past year. I feel like most of the stuff on the shelves is either forced , or vague in it's spiritual content. Most of the songs I have heard as of late has stirred my emotions, but not in the spiritual sense. Songs about girls, loss, love, pain and poetry..has pretty much been my musical drug of choice. I needed something that would speak to my spiritual being. Webb's songs spoke to me and related to me in a very real and powerful way. These were not typical "christian" songs. They are soaked in scripture (which is lacking in alot of christian music), and it speaks to you in a very real way. Songs that actually made me sit down and soul search, and rethink my own walk with the Lord. I havent felt this strongly about any song since Jars of Clay's Worlds Apart ( which is my fav song of all time). If you get a chance, check out the album here, and heres is the lyrics to one of the songs called Wedding Dress, and it s amazing. Let me know what you think, you can download the mp3 here.

Wedding Dress

If you could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, your life
should that be all I'd ever need
or is there more I'm looking for

and should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
to make me handsome, rich, and wise
is that really what you want

I am a whore I do confess
but I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
I'm a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you

so could you love this bastard child
though I don't trust you to provide
with one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side
I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
that I would take a little cash

over your very flesh and blood


because money cannot buy
a husband's jealous eye
when you have knowingly deceived his wife

Thats it for now. Hope you enjoy.

posted by Justin at 10:24 PM

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For Teresa

Today, one year ago, Teresa Tucker's Mother died of complications from surgery. Please remember her in your thoughts and prayers. I think this song speaks a lot about the loss of someone you care for, especially a mother...

For Justin by Dashboard Confessional from Drowning EP

It's been a year now since you were here now
And I've been trying to heal inside
Dedications have all been placed
And I see your resemblance in my face
And on [y]our birthday I said an extra wish for you (for you)

And I have learned so much since you been gone
And I have done so little for so long
So now I'll settle up my grievances
And focus on the savory
And wave all these discrepancies away
And I'll peter out these misconceptions
Give out faith at my discretion
Live a life that you would think was sane (sane)

Displaying changes
That they have made
And I wonder if you ever really wanted it this way
And in your memory they even hung a plaque for you (for you)

And I have learned so much since you been gone
And I have done so little for so long
So now I'll settle up these grievances
And focus on the savory And wave all these discrepancies away
And I'll peter out these misconceptions
Give out faith at my discretion
Live a life that you would think was sane (sane)

posted by Jeff Watkins at 5:24 PM

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Saturday, December 28, 2002

Congratulations To Matt and Tara Portiss

I come back to the blogging world as a very tired lad. Sorry for the lack of everything as of late. Christmas and thereafter wore me out. Today my good friend (probably my best girl friend back home) Tara Howard got married to Matt Portiss. It was a really down to earth and sweet wedding. I can tell they are in love, if that makes sense. My friend, Bethany Dunlap came to my house on Friday and stayed until after the wedding today. She was my date to the wedding and I appreciate her for that. Of course I appreciate her for the wonderful person that she is and the fact that she's my friend. I mean after all, if she hadn't come to the wedding, I'd probably would have sat alone (inside joke). Anyway, if anyone who has ever paid attention to my stories in the past, you will remember that during my 12th grade year in high school, Tara and I dated. Bethany asked me several questions about how I was feeling today, you know, seeing her getting married. I can honestly say I am truly happy for Matt and Tara and I will pray for them in this covenant they've begun. I'm so not so much wedding-feverish as I was when Jeremy and Dallis Gibson got married, but it's a nice feeling. As of late, it feels like everyone I know is getting divorced. So, it's nice to see real, genuine love. My friend Carrie Harden and I had a conversation about marriage tonight. Thus, was the result:

mightycheesegod: why does everyone think they have to get married right now?
mightycheesegod: do you know how many conversations I have had in the past two days
JeffyJeffW: well, maybe some people are in love
mightycheesegod: that involved marriage?
JeffyJeffW: but i'm sure others just want to have sex
mightycheesegod: EVERY SINGLE ONE
mightycheesegod: (not an exaggeration)
JeffyJeffW: well
JeffyJeffW: sex is the biblical aspiration of "two becoming one flesh"
JeffyJeffW: so yes
JeffyJeffW: but, i'm sure some people cannot wait
JeffyJeffW: so they, (no pun intended), jump on the first eligible person that comes along
JeffyJeffW: any thoughts?
mightycheesegod: I think its weird that every single person I talk to lately brings up this subject and I think its foolish that people I went to high school with that are my age think they have any business getting and being married and I think its sad that the whole world is so obsessed with sex that they can't even see straight to what sex actually is and I think that its all seeping into my mind and making me crazy
JeffyJeffW: i understand
mightycheesegod: do you?
JeffyJeffW: yeah
JeffyJeffW: do you think i dont?
mightycheesegod: probably not
JeffyJeffW: explain your position
mightycheesegod: waht do you mean?
mightycheesegod: exacly
mightycheesegod: exactly*
JeffyJeffW: well...
JeffyJeffW: you said, everybody is so focused on sex
JeffyJeffW: i mean, I agree, some people shouldn't get married who do
JeffyJeffW: they are way too young
JeffyJeffW: too immature
JeffyJeffW: and they probably don't know the person well enough
JeffyJeffW: how much do you know about someone for 1 year
JeffyJeffW: i've known my dad 22 years, and I sure as hell don't have him figured out
mightycheesegod: I think most the people that get married have no business doing so
JeffyJeffW: do you have any in mind?
mightycheesegod: sure, lots
JeffyJeffW: any i know
mightycheesegod: I don't think so
JeffyJeffW: gotcha
mightycheesegod: marriage is supposed to be a perfect union. divorce shouldn't even exist. and the fact that it does proves that most people getting married shouldn't be
JeffyJeffW: yeah
JeffyJeffW: it's really depressing
JeffyJeffW: i mean, so many people who've been married like, 10, 20, or eve 30 years
JeffyJeffW: getting divorced
JeffyJeffW: I've lost all hope (almost)
mightycheesegod: I haven't
mightycheesegod: because I'm going to do it right
mightycheesegod: that's all there is to it
mightycheesegod: it worries me, but i don't let it scare me
JeffyJeffW: thats good
JeffyJeffW: and by no offence i mean this, but don't get too cocky
JeffyJeffW: that you're gonna do it right
JeffyJeffW: you may and that'll be rad, but, I'm sure most people don't set out to be divorced and they themselves thought they were doing it, "the right way"
mightycheesegod: the thing is, God cares even more about my husband than I do. If I let him do the working, and if this man, whoever he may be, lets Him do the working, it can't go wrong
JeffyJeffW: oh i agree
mightycheesegod: I don't mean to sound cocky, and if this were any other subject I probably wouldn't make a claim like that
mightycheesegod: but it isn't
mightycheesegod: so I am
JeffyJeffW: its cool
mightycheesegod: its probably the single element of my life here on earth that I can't afford to mess up
JeffyJeffW: well, none are righteous... but grace does abound
mightycheesegod: so I won't
mightycheesegod: mess it up
JeffyJeffW: the way i look at finding a spouse is this:
JeffyJeffW: no matter what i do, if it is Gods will, i mean, if i fart in front of her or treat her like a princess, it'll work out
JeffyJeffW: if we are walking in God's will
mightycheesegod: oooh, I'd have to disagree with that one
mightycheesegod: I think you can easily mess it up
mightycheesegod: that's why you have to be super careful
mightycheesegod: and really in tune to his voice
JeffyJeffW: well, definitely in tune
mightycheesegod: and very patient
JeffyJeffW: i mean, i don't know if there is one person for everyone or if there are several people you could be suited for
mightycheesegod: I think that there's one person God has especially set aside for you. Like his personal gift. But if you ignore that or somehow blow that chance by getting married
mightycheesegod: PREMATURELY
mightycheesegod: to the wrong person
mightycheesegod: God is still able to bless that marriage if you ask him to and make it successful. I believe all things work together for good for those who (actively) love God
mightycheesegod: he can make lemonade out of lemons!
JeffyJeffW: yeah
JeffyJeffW: i dont know'
JeffyJeffW: i havent figured it out and i probably wont ever
JeffyJeffW: i'd like to be able to say the one
JeffyJeffW: but i think if it is God's will, no matter how screwed up I end up or what I do to miss the mark or whatever, he will use it to bring the glory and honor to himself and accomplish his will...

posted by Jeff Watkins at 11:46 PM

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Wednesday, December 25, 2002

Merry Christmas

We here @ To Whom It May Concern would like to wish all of you and your families a happy and healthy Christmas season and New Year as well. Santa (yes my parents still act like we believe) did come to our house and contrary to popular belief, there was no coal in our stockings this year. I got some money, DVDs, CDs, books, commentaries, socks, droors, surge protector/backup, 110 CD-Rs, and dress shirts. Overall, I'm pleased. Who can complain, right? I mean, this is the first time in a long time that I didn’t get what I really wanted, but a laptop is a bit excessive. Plus, I'm waiting because graduation seems like a more realistic approach for getting one (waiting = hoping). So, I will make this short. Hope everyone is enjoying there time off and their time home. I know time with the folks can wear thin. Has anyone noticed that Christmas, as an adult, has lost its glitz and glitter and excitement since we were kids?

"Christmas only comes once a least that's what I hear..." MxPx

posted by Jeff Watkins at 9:28 PM

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Tuesday, December 24, 2002

I Wanted To Write Something Nice On This Christmas Eve, But I'm All Dry, So Here Is An Email That I Sent To Everyone I Know

An open letter to everyone who might call themselves a friend:

It’s beginning to look a lot like, uh... hum... well... If you’re in the great state of Florida, it is beginning to look a lot like every other day of the week. Minus the occasional breezy nip in the air, it’s pretty much the same. But, that’s what I love about Christmas in Florida. It’s not too cold, there’s no shoveling snow, no blizzards, and especially no snow! It is great, unless you are used to having a traditional white Christmas and junk. In case you haven’t guessed it, it’s time once again for the annual Christmas Bulk Email. Ahh... I’m sure you guys and gals can’t hardly contain yourselves. Well, maybe you can, but in all efforts of goodwill and cheer, try to play along like you can, ok?

Let’s see, another year has come and gone. So many of these “adulthood years” are going so fast. Somehow, even under my own disillusions, I think that’s how life works, but I’m really not sure. If I could have a real adult verify that for me, that would be good. Another year of our life’s has just passed. It’s kind of scary because we are all growing up and going on to new horizons. Today, after reading several peoples views on Christmas, I began to ponder my own rationale for what I have and what this Christmas season will bring to me. Besides books, DVDs, and CDs. What will I have to show for my life? What do I have to show for this existence that I am partaking in? Well, my folks were happy with my 3 A’s, 3 B’s, and 1 C. But, besides all these earthly possessions, things, and accomplishments, what am I truly happy for? Definitely all of the cliche’ answers are valid here: family, friends, love, good tidings, peace on earth, joy, abundance of life, and health. Yet, all of these very Christmassy answers lack substance. Not that those answers are bad; they do have much validity. However, wondering about the statement above, what is the purpose and meaning behind all of this celebration? I can only share with you what I know. Faith in and a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. There are so many religions, faiths, denominations, and people in general to claim to be Christians. Now there are many of my friends who belong to totally different religions like: Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, and Wicca. All of which set there sights out for their own day of celebration and rejoicing. Well, I write these words today, not to persuade or make claims, but to humbly say that I only know one thing for sure and that is that I know nothing. The older I get, the dumber I get. The more I learn, the more I realize that I have so much more to learn, understand, and reason. Yet, “for one thing I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, not powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39, New American Standard). I pray that you will all see the difference in this season; the reason we celebrate Christmas. For when we were sinners, without worth, God sent Jesus to be born, live, then die for us. Not because of our merit, but because God loved us so much. Wow, I take a lot of things for granted and that is one thing. Never the less, this is the reason we rejoice and celebrate.

Aren’t you glad for life? I know I am. However, after I graduate (May 2003!!!) and get my Masters, I really don’t know how much life I will have left. It’s all too much work sometimes. But, it’s ok and I will endure. I pray that all of you will have a very happy Christmas. You know, some of you guys have gotten this email 4 years in a row. Some of you guys, this will be the first time. I hope I am able to send out this thing for the rest of my life. I appreciate you guys so much. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for being there when I needed someone to talk to, to laugh with, and being a shoulder to cry on. You mean the world to me. I know I could get through life with just me and God. But, I’m so glad I don’t have to. I pray for you all. Be safe, enjoy yourselves, and think about the reason your alive and reading this. It’s not a coincidental chance, it’s because God has a purpose. Be blessed and I love you all...

Happy Holidays

posted by Jeff Watkins at 9:12 PM

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We all three blogged here in the same day. Neat. When's the last time that happened? Summer maybe?

posted by Chase at 1:41 AM

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Monday, December 23, 2002

Two Days Until Christmas

The anticipation is building. I start getting giddy when Christmas comes around. During this time of year, I get sentimental and childlike. Of course I act like a sixty year old man the rest of time and that is especially true today. I took my brother to work at 3:30 PM and got home after Christmas shopping for like four hours. It was 7:30 PM by the time I got home. The traffic was so bad and I could not get around fast enough. Plus, I was having to try to think about what the heck I was going to buy for everyone. I still should get a couple more things for everyone. Sometimes, we all get caught up in the glitz and glitter of the material-side of the season. As cliche' as it sounds, we need to remember the purpose of this season. Whether Jesus was really born in December or earlier, it doesn't matter. Whether we teach our children to believe in Santa Clause or not, it’s not even relevant. We have designed this time of year to remember why we live. Not because of our merit or worth, but because God set a better way, and sent his son Jesus Christ into the world so that we might have salvation. That's the hope we have and where the true joy in our hearts comes from. Be safe in all your journeys. As for me, I need to go put on a Santa cap and start wrapping some presents...

"All I want for Christmas is you"

posted by Jeff Watkins at 9:41 PM

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Since We're All Cussing
Every year this real nice lady/friend of the family comes to our house bearing gifts. She came by today. She gave me a card with $25 bucks. That was maybe too nice, but I'm not complaining. Ms. Debbie just left the gifts with us to open later. My mom decided that since the gift she and my dad get is usually some sort of Christmas decoration that they should open it. My Dad wouldn't touch the package because Ms. Debbie had the flu and well, he's careful. My mom commenced to open it. Throughout this there were repeated warnings from dad, "You better wash your hands." She opened the box and pulled from it something that resembled to me, the Holy Grail. This was not a Christmas decoration. Without a pause Dad said, "What the hell am I gonna do with that?" Then he laughed and I couldn't help but follow. I love my dad!

Wow, great times with the fam...

posted by Chase at 9:37 PM

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Sorry This is Not a Christmas Post

Tonight (or this morning I should say) I realized that I am a flithy sinner. I mean I have always been face to face with my human nature and the fact that I sinned, but I never truly saw my sin as God sees it until tonight. My viewpoint on sin has always remained the same, and that is that no sin is greater than the other. In other words, gossiping is just as bad as killing someone. But now I can see things somewhat as God may look at it, and then I get grossed out. There are countless things that I have done in my life, both in the past and as recently as today, that I would do anything to have erased from my memory. I just never realized how badly I struggled with sin. Maybe I put it out of my mind, and just went on with life at some point. Then out of nowhere here comes the realization that my sin is damning me to my own personal hell. So this post is thereputic and is enabling me to climb out of the pile of shit ( pardon the word usage) that I somehow fell into. God is so awesome, and so forgiving. He has sent the demons of Fear, Lust, Worry and Doubt back to hell where they came from, and I feel so much better now. My God transcends my problems and my sins, and I am somehow made a better man in the process, which blows my mind. I posted this on a message board tonight, and I wanted to share it with everyone here.

God is bigger than me. He can take an ungrateful, unfaithful man and somehow use him to impact others. I will never begin to understand how or why He has even bothored to use me. I am such a whore when it comes to serving God. I am constantly asking forgiveness for something stupid I have done, and I am always wondering how my life got so crazy at the same time. Yet God still comes through and brings me to a place I never thought I could be....back in His arms. So God is really big, and He is beyond our wildest dreams.

On a side note, the board changed the word "whore" to the word "sleeper", which in my eyes, totally changed the context of what I was trying to express. So now its here raw and uncensored! (Its my site, I can say whatever I want).

In all seriousness, this post was my pouring out my heart into my diary (which you guys get to read). I kept all the gory details of my screw ups in life out of the post since I felt there is no need for specifics. Just continue to pray for me that God will continue to grow me, and that I will be a better steward of His blessings. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, and that Christ is honored in this holiday season. His hands.....

posted by Justin at 2:38 AM

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Sunday, December 22, 2002

On The 9th Day of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me

"So, this is Christmas..." (John Lennon). I don't really know how to count the twelve days of Christmas, so like O.J. Simpson, I took a stab at it. Today has been a good day. I got to see some friends at church and some church family that I had not seen since August. I went shopping in Vero Beach and some of Melbourne with Nick Long, Bryan Fazio, and Thomas Pedecini (aka The Boys). These guys were some of my closest friends in high school and it was cool to sit down and chat, have a beer, and eat some food with them. We watched some football too, it was a good time at T.G.I. Fridays. I basically started Christmas shopping today. I still have a bunch of stuff to buy for friends and family and only a few days in which to get it in. I think I'm going to dip now. I'm talking to some friends on the phone and on AIM so, if you're still up JeffyJeffW is my screen name. Blow up my spot if your still up...

A part of, I Won't Be Home For Christmas by Blink 182

Outside the carolers start to sing
I can't describe the joy they bring
Cause joy is something they don't bring me

My girlfriend is by my side
From the roof are hanging ‘cicles of ice
Their whiny voices get irritating
It's Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face
Wondering how much of my time they'll waste
Oh god I hate these Satan's helpers

And then I guess I must've snapped
Because I grabbed a baseball bat
And made them all run for shelter

It's Christmas time again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand all year
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer
You people scare me
Please stay away from home
If you don't wanna get me down
Just leave the presents and let me be alone...

posted by Jeff Watkins at 11:34 PM

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Saturday, December 21, 2002

Home For The Holidays

I’ve now been at home for a whole 2 days. It has been semi-okay. I mean, I’m twenty two and it’s like staying with people who lived during the 1800s. You all think that I’m exaggerating but, I’m not. I really cannot complain and I try not to, but it is hard sometimes. So far, so good. Yesterday, I did some manual labor for my Dad. I ran a cable from outside of the front of the house, to back inside of the basement right back outside, straight through to the back side of the house, to about ten feet until the outlet. Fun times, haha, lie! It was tuff because I had to go back and forth. I went to the dentist yesterday. Another fun activity of the day. I went in right at 1:00 PM and left after 3:00 PM. Golly, it was way too long. It was my initial visit, so they had to look at my teeth, share their opinions with what I should have done, and other things. Then they cleaned my teeth and had to fix the sealant on my number # 31 molar. For the record, I’ve been a part of the No Cavity Club since 1989. Moving on, today we drove the two and one half hour (one way) drive to Bartow, Florida to see my Aunt Linda and Uncle Charles. It was cool because they are nice people and I love them. My family and I also went to see my Granny Watkins. We call her Nanny. She’s in a nursing home. She’s like 85 and doesn’t remember anything from minute to minute. She didn’t know who we were, but that’s not too depressing because she’s been like that for a few years now. She wasn’t too responsive, but she was more verbal to us than other times before, so that was good. I’m probably going to hang out with some friends from high school tomorrow and do some Christmas shopping in Vero Beach. Well, I think I’m going to go now. I hope everyone is celebrating the holidays early and making plans to be with loved ones. A Christmas song you should download is Father Christmas by The Kinks. It’s a rad song that makes me think they were revolutionaries to have that kind of sound and it only be 1966 or 1967. Anyway, have a good evening and stay warm. I’ll try to post everyday up until Christmas; oh how the excitement is building...

“Rockin’ around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hop...”

posted by Jeff Watkins at 6:27 PM

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Thursday, December 19, 2002

My Day In A Car

I haven't done much today. Well, I drove home. That's always fun. Let me recap my day:

3:00 AM - Went to bed (after cleaning and packing)
6:00 AM - Got up (packed the car)
8:00 AM - Tried burning a CD (I had to waste at least 5 CDs before I could get it to work)
8:30 AM - Got breakfast
9:00 AM - Returned a tape to Blockbuster and deposited a check in the bank
10:30 AM - Left for Tallahassee
12:30 PM - Finally found my Aunt's new place
1:00 PM - Went to lunch at Sonny's
2:00 PM - Got back to Aunt Marty's apartment
3:00 PM - Left Tallahassee
4:30 PM - Potty break
6:00 PM - Gas (fuel) break
9:00 PM - Finally got home
9:10 PM - Got lectured by my Dad

Words of affirmation is not my Dad's spiritual gift. Matter of fact, I think he sucks at it...

posted by Jeff Watkins at 8:57 PM

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Wednesday, December 18, 2002

Can't Write Anything That I Haven't Said Already

I like to think things, such of this nature are rather important. Getting my mail, burning me CDs, burning my friends Christmas CDs, cleaning up my place before I leave for the holidays, these are all events of substance. Yet, compared to the activities on my itinerary today, they are nothing. I've got so much stuff to do and only a few hours in which to do them in. I'm taking off tomorrow and driving home for Christmas (Melbourne, FL). A few weeks home with the folks. This will be a test of faith for my Christendom. I guess it's not so bad. I just get treated like a twelve year old instead of a twenty two year old. No worries though. We shall endure... What's this "we" crap, I have to go, not you! I will endure! Anyway, I've got a full plate of activities to keep me busy today. So, I better shimmy on and get them done. I wanted to be up by 9:00 AM today, but that failed. I guess staying up until almost 5:00 AM watching Scooby Doo cartoons on DVD (A Nutcracker Scooby is really good) is not the best use of my time. But, oh well, I'll be old soon. For now, I'm going to listen to something on vinyl and probably watch How The Grinch Stole Christmas. See you later...

"When she said, 'Don’t waste your words, they're just lies,' I cried she was deaf. And she worked on my face until breaking my eyes, then said, 'What else you got left?' It was then that I got up to leave, but she said, 'Don't forget, everybody must give something back for something they get.'" Fourth Time Around, Bob Dylan

posted by Jeff Watkins at 12:59 PM

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Monday, December 16, 2002

About The Holiday Season

From, The Book of Saints by Lesley Whiteside, we get a little insight on the reasoning behind this Santa character:

"All we know for certain about Nicholas is that he was a fourth-century bishop of Myra in Turkey, yet he became one of the most popular of the medieval saints. Much better known is the figure derived from him, 'Santa Claus!' A vast body of legend surrounded Nicholas, in the best known of which he restored to life three children who had been pickled in brine. For this reason he became the patron saint of children, but he also had a particular association with sailors and merchants. His cult was so strong that countless churches were dedicated to him and he became the patron of many countries, including Russia..."

posted by Jeff Watkins at 11:39 PM

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A New Song For Old Feelings

I’m throwing away letters like they never mattered
Motivation for someone who seemed to be a killer
You’ve never been the one to be proud
Sadly escaping your only chance to say it loud
We wonder how this worked so well
Given the change, I’d like to leave my cell

I never want to see your face disgraced again
Even if it’s all self-inflicted
Even if it’s how you live your life now
I don’t ever want to know about that type of crowd

I recall writing words to you that made it ok
Expressing these emotions that could never dissipate
That’s all over with and I’m already moving on
Maybe with someone else or just all on my own
Someday it will all be over and done with
To the least of my ambitions I thought it was a myth

I never want to see your face disgraced again
Even if it’s all self-inflicted
Even if it’s how you live your life now
I don’t ever want to know about that crowd

All I ever wanted was to say the right things
Why is it my fault if you don’t like change?
Can I be blamed for not knowing when to leave?
Will you hold it against me if I don’t succeed?
How can this be the way it will end?
Left on my own with no one in this prison

I never want to see your face disgraced again
Even if it’s all self-inflicted
Even if it’s how you live your life now
I don’t ever want to know about that crowd


Slowly finding my own way
I’ll only take with me what I can hide
Be sure to write all the ones I love
Those solemn promises are all lies that are here to stay

I never want to see your face disgraced again
Even if it’s all self-inflicted
Even if it’s how you live your life now
I don’t ever want to know about that crowd

posted by Jeff Watkins at 3:35 PM

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Saturday, December 14, 2002

I Drove 115 MPH The Other Day

Thank goodness for faithful friends. Justin and Chase have been really loyal at keeping the site updated. I however, have not. School is finally over. I think I passed all twenty hours this semester. That’s really a good thing. Maybe I even got above a 3.0. It would be nice to graduate with a 3.25 (sum cum lade or whatever) but graduating all together is a feat in itself. I will be taking at least one of the CLEP tests this next week for a history class that I need to graduate. I might have to wait until after I get back from Christmas break though. I have to study hard because if I don't pass both tests, I don't graduate!

In other non-relate news, Hardcore Lyrics Archive has honored the late great Strongarm with this month's Featured Lyrics. So, no matter what you're doing on this lone Saturday, or how much you hate hardcore, go and pay homage to some of the best lyrics from one of the original Spirit-Filled HXC bands. Anyway, I'm off to see the wizard. Listen to Pink Floyd...

"There can be no justice where there is no truth. A life of self-sacrifice, a new creation, devotion to purity in the midst of the light of conviction. Set fire to the hearts desire, taken by storm. No longer in the dark, dwelling in the shadows nevermore. I surrender all, all I am I give, Give thereof till end; much more, more than this is death." (the band) Strongarm (the song) Supplication (the album) The Advent of A Miracle

posted by Jeff Watkins at 6:32 PM

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Through the Dane, I found a link to this very funny site...Black People Love Us. Go now, cracker!

posted by Chase at 1:15 PM

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Wednesday, December 11, 2002

All The Things Greeting Cards Never Say

“Hey you”

The words she speaks so easily
Makes me feel so… unspeakable
I wander through my speechless phrasing
Trying to grasp a few moments of endless amazement

The red leaves are now falling
And I can feel my heart calling
I write with a pen, I’ve used so many times before
This time it seems to mean something so much more

My sins have left us dry
We can’t stop asking each other why
Small streets help the time to pass
Six more months until freedom at last

Finding the words I’ve always wanted to say
Are not always the easiest to convey
I never knew what a smile was or could be until I found you

“Day two”

These smells of winter’s fragrance
Refine the hope I have to bloom
Living, loving, and learning
I don’t want to leave here without you

You like photographs and I prefer music; we like art
Somehow together it all looks so smart
Right now, I’m feeling blue
It’s because I never get to see you

Confusing feelings have never been so free
To sit up and think about all the shows that portray me
Three times we think about replacing these sobering lines
I don’t know about you,
But I’d like to move on with the times

It’s ok to go
It’s fine to just say no
Why would I try to hold you back
I’d never try to convince you to wear black

Just like my own ambition
I know you have your own mission
I pray that one day our dreams might meet
And spill over into this cup
At least so the stars in our eyes would get to catch up

Joking about the piece of my heart
That you already show few
I’d gladly give the rest of my life just to know you

posted by Jeff Watkins at 12:42 AM

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Tuesday, December 10, 2002

You Never Know

I ofter wonder how my life has impacted other people, and if maybe something I have written on this site has helped someone in some way. Alot of times in my life I have felt like I was not appreciated due to other people's reactions to me. Maybe I tried too hard in some cases, or not enough in others. Of course I am not out to make everyone happy, and have them lift me up and pat me on the back, I am just wanting to make something of my life.
This site has always been an outlet of myself. It has never been something that I wanted thousands of people to read each day. It was solely for myself. However I am glad that people do come and read the thoughts of Jeff, Chase, and myself ( when I take the time to post). My heart is glad when I read comments of people who can relate or are touched by something we have written on here. That makes things worthwhile. For me, the writing is thereputic. It's not a diary. Besides, would you actually wanna know about every time I have eaten at Wendys in a week? I write whatever I am thinking or feeling, which can be scary at times. I just hope God is somehow using this to make me a better person, and maybe helping somone else out in the process.

I have a billion other things that I want to post about right now, but I will hold off. So dont miss tomorrow where I will be shot out of a cannon into a huge pool of cool whip!

( yes, I am kinda strange sometimes)

Dont lose the dreams inside your head, they'll only be there until your dead.
-Dave Matthews

......asking love to lay down......

posted by Justin at 6:36 PM

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It's Not Brown Sugar
In an article called Sexual Fiction Tim Eaton asks, "Are the sexual metaphors explored by Pedro the Lion's Control, Bill Mallonee's[Vigilantes of Love] Love Cocoon, and - dare we say - the Bible too much for contemporary Christianity?"

I'm afraid so.

posted by Chase at 1:55 PM

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by Stavesacre, from the album (Self-Titled)

couples gather on the street
no way they notice me
but i watch them walk together
and it reminds me
of nights when everyone was gone
and i ended up alone
nights that were unsafe to hope for anything

lately i have noticed that so much
is not what i imagined it’d be.
when the harder times come calling on us
we’ll know if we’re gonna need

don’t promise me
say yes
say no or yes
but don’t promise

for all the reasons not to try
i can’t forget the times
i swore that if i finally knew
the answers to my prayers those nights
when it came time to decide i’d just know
and i would be ready

lately i have noticed that so much
is not what i’d imagined it’d be
when the harder times come calling on us
we’ll know if we’re gonna need

posted by Jeff Watkins at 9:32 AM

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Monday, December 09, 2002

I am Bored at Work

I am sitting here pondering my next two weeks, and what I am going to do with my life. Film school seems so far away and unattainable right now. I guess if God really has this in mind for my life, then things will work out, unless I screw something up. I have been toying around with a screenplay idea for some time now, and I really like the way it's coming about. I am in love with what the message will be to my audience, although telling the story is going to be rough both on the viewers, and myself. I think it will be pretty harsh and gritty concerning my main character, but I refuse to disclose any more info right now.

I have been listening to alot of music, everything from the new Blindside record, to Billy Joel. I discovered a band called Dropline a few weeks back, they have a very Coldplay-esque sound, so check them out, you may like them.

The topic of love has been on my mind alot lately. I wish I was in love right now. I guess I just want a girlfriend for christmas! haha. Billy Joel has a song called She's got a Way and I really love that song. I want a girl like that, one that inspires me to write a song like that. Maybe I will meet her soon, although I think she may be as far away as Asia or something. Maybe I should consider long distance relationships, since all the girls around here seem the same. Maybe she will find me. That would be nice.

Random thought of the day: I hate rap music (its playing at work right now, and I am wanting to throw up)

Well, I should get back to work, happy commenting.

........walking down Grey Street.......

posted by Justin at 6:02 PM

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Theology Talk

While I'm writing my credo for Theology 301 (which was due Friday), I've decided to indulge you exceptional readers into some of the daily matters and topics that arise in my theology class. These are issues and subjects in which we discuss and focus on in the class:

-A daily conversation in Theology 301 about the nature of sin-

Professor, Dr. Rathel: "...sin is a state..."
Student, Jeff Watkins: "I wonder where that is?"
Student, Chad Underwood: "I think it's below Rhode Island."

Note: Chad then proceeded to draw a map of the United States, exactly showing where 'sin' is located. It ended up being underneath New York...

posted by Jeff Watkins at 2:25 AM

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Sunday, December 08, 2002

Exodus Comes Before Deuteronomy

How I’m feeling today
Isn’t always easy to convey
Mad at you, this situation, and the world
Most of all, mad at myself

I can’t recall the feeling of goodness
Because all I see is your hurtfulness
You lash out irrationally without any reasoning
It’s funny to hear the dissonance

You say something like, “Climb that hill”
You mean something else by your own will
I can’t fathom your mindset
Especially now when you’re being ridiculous

Tactless words that have no rule
You’d like us to think ourselves a fool
Needless remarks beyond any comparison
You damaged a friend with no remorse

I implore myself to you
Now I abhor anything you do
Maybe we could think back to a time when it was real
Unless your unmistakable expressions have been forgotten

I’ve written so much about this
Right or wrong, hit or miss
I do it to feel better about life
Not self-serving, like your own ambitions

posted by Jeff Watkins at 5:51 PM

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Saturday, December 07, 2002

From, Big Bands With Christian Roots

11/01/2002 - Updated 10:53 AM ET

Other bands with Christian leanings that have made a dent — in some cases a crater — in the general market:

Blindside-- P.O.D. protégés from Sweden released first albums to Christian market in USA; new Silence, on Elektra/Three Points, recently peaked at No 83 on Billboard chart.

Chevelle-- Chicago-area band released first album on Christian label; now on Epic for Wonder What's Next, out Tuesday.

Creed-- Singer Scott Stapp's lyrics reflect his Christian upbringing, though group has avoided "Christian band" label.

Dashboard Confessional-- Lead hunk Chris Carrabba spent time fronting Christian-market emo band Further Seems Forever.

Jars of Clay-- Christian-market mainstays had crossover success with first hit, Flood; recently toured with Sheryl Crow.

MxPx-- Warped Tour punk mainstays from Washington state cut their teeth in the Christian industry, now on A&M.

Nickel Creek-- Bluegrass revivalist trio are all Christians. 2000 debut album went gold; current This Side No. 73 on Billboard chart.

P.O.D.-- Rap-rockers' songs are openly Christian; albums distributed to Christian market, but band shuns "Christian" tag.

Project 86-- Truthless Heroes on Atlantic/Tooth and Nail entered at No. 146 on Billboard chart last week; on tour this month with Taproot.

Sixpence None the Richer-- Band that made Kiss Me ubiquitous was a Christian-industry mainstay before crossover success. Divine Discontent out Oct. 29.

U2-- Bono, Edge and Larry Mullin Jr. have all acknowledged their faith, though the band has avoided the Christian tag.


posted by Jeff Watkins at 11:14 AM

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Friday, December 06, 2002

I Really Don't Like School Today

School sucks sometimes... Today is the last day of regular classes and on normal terms, this would make me very happy. Yet, I am verily busy with all the things I still have left to do (if anyone is contemplating taking twenty hours, I have a piece of advice, DON'T!). I got back from Pensacola last night around 5:00 PM. It was an interesting week to say the least. I did learn a lot about ministry. I learned a lot about the clinical and emotional aptitude in how to make a hospital visit and talk to a total stranger about their condition. I learned a lot about myself. Something interesting, I learned I have a problem with silence. Not necessarily being alone and by myself in silence, because that is solitude and I enjoy it sometimes. However, being in a room with people and hearing everything nothingness has to offer drives me into my psychosocial demise. I think the reason for this is because I equate silence with being upset. Like, if someone hurts my feelings or I'm mad at them, I'll get quiet. Pretty much because I have nothing to say. So, looking at my own rationale, I tend to think others do the same thing. When people are quiet, I often ask if they are ok. I don't know what this spawned from, but it's a part of me being little ol' me. I have to finish the other nine pages of my credo in Theology 301, which I found out last night (thanks Teresa) that it was due today! And I have to type my Psychology 310 paper which is due Monday. Oh yeah, I have all my finals next week too! So much fun, I can hardly breath. Good day.

"I wish I was someone else. I'm confused I'm afraid I hate the loneliness. And there's nowhere to run to. Nothing makes any sense. But I still try my hardest. Take my hand. Please help me man..." Something To Believe In --The Ramones

posted by Jeff Watkins at 10:55 AM

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Thursday, December 05, 2002

The Problem with Christian Film
I received this in my e-mail and thought you might appreciate it.

Pop Culture From A Spiritual Point of View
December 4, 2002
Greetings from David Bruce, Web Master


Main Topic:
Thoughts from Brian Godawa
and Dan Dunkelberger


1. Introducing Brian Godawa
2. "Christian Movies" So-called
3. Listen to the History of Christian Films
4. TO END ALL WARS Comes to Los Angeles
5. A Book Worth Giving

Recently it was my good fortune to meet Brian Godawa.
He is a screenwriter living in Southern California.
He wrote the screenplay for the feature film To End All Wars.
And he is the author of the book,
Hollywood Worldviews: Watching Movies With Discernment (Intervarsity Press), which I highly recommend.

He has some interesting views that I think need to be shared!
Below I are some of his views of "Christian" movies.
I think this may lead to a lively discussion.


“Christian” Movies When it comes to a meaningful portrayal of Christianity, one has to ask why is it that so-called secular movies do a better job of it (when they so rarely do) than so-called “Christian movies?” Why are Christian movies at the theater mostly rejected as unbelievable and contrived propaganda? Part of the problem is that they tend to be narrowly focused, which reduces the message to clichés. And clichés do not ring true.

There always seems to be a priest or pastor or “religious” character who is the wise man or the voice of conscience. There tends to be a “salvation scene” where the main character falls to his knees in a church and prays to “accept Jesus into his heart.” And there is often some kind of religious ministry at stake, be it a homeless shelter or kid's ministry. Now, to be fair, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with such clichés. It's just that they have become precisely that—clichés.

There is another tendency in overtly Christian movies to neglect incarnating redemption in the story theme. Rather than accurately portraying the spiritual need of a character and how it is remedied through the story, “accepting Jesus into their heart” is often the prescribed panacea for all their problems. This early twentieth century “altar call” sinner's prayer approach has little relevance for the postmodern human, and is rather suspect itself as a biblical concept. Praying a prayer may be part of regeneration, but it is not the certainty of true and full salvation which comes from a changed life of repentance (Mt 7:21-27; 13:18-23; Lk 8:11-15). And prayer is certainly not the only outward _expression of a changed heart, though one would get that idea from watching more than one “Christian” film.

World Wide Pictures, the film arm of the Billy Graham Ministry, suffers from this weakness. Since they are required to have a Billy Graham (now Franklin Graham) crusade in every film, the stories suffer from heavy-handed proselytization which immediately alienates most sophisticated viewers. And this alienation is not necessarily from the audience's rebellious sinful natures.

Any movie with a “preachy” message, be it Christianity, environmentalism, political positions, or what have you, turns away people because rather than letting the audience figure out for themselves what the meaning is, they are told exactly what they ought to think and usually in terms of slogans and buzz words. This is the nature of propaganda, a one-sidedness that ignores the ambiguities and difficulties of reality. The Billy Graham Association is undoubtedly sincere in their desire to have meaningful drama, but what is sometimes missed is that the power of drama lies not in placing cure-all messages on top of their stories but in incarnating the redemption into the story and its theme.

Having said all this about the need to transcend preachiness, most of the time it's just simply bad writing, bad acting, and bad directing that ruins “Christian” films. Recycled television plots, distinctly unscary villains trying to sound scary, contrived “sinner's prayer” conversions (Mercy Streets, 2000), and even Christians trying a bit too hard to act like movie superstars themselves (Carmen: The Champion, 2000).

Why are the standards of excellence so neglected in “Christian” art? Perhaps this is the terminal legacy of those who consider “the message” as “more important” than the medium (of storytelling), rather than seeing the medium itself as part of the message and created by God as valuable in and of itself. Perhaps we are still bearing the fruit of the pietist and fundamentalist retreat from all things cultural as evil. We seem to feel that the rest of the “stuff “ is just not as important as putting in that “altar call” scene.

Another detrimental aspect of “Christian” films is the obsession that many of them have with the end of the world. One would think the book of Revelation is the only unique element of Christianity because we seem to make so many movies about it. It all started back in 1972 with A Thief in the Night and those scenes of the big bad One- World government chasing after Christians in One-World government vans, and soon grew to monstrous Blob-like proportions with A Distant Thunder (1978), Image of the Beast (1981), The Prodigal Planet (1983), and more recently Revelation (1996), Apocalypse: Caught in the Eye of the Storm (1998), Revelation (1999), Apocalypse IV: Judgment (2001), Tribulation (2000), The Omega Code (1999), Megiddo: The Omega Code 2 (2001), and the granddaddy End-Times marketing phenomenon of all time, Left Behind: The Movie (2001). This adaptation of the mega-million best-selling series that began as a trilogy and soon mutated into a 12-book series (not to mention the myriad of other rip-offs for children and others) has brought the book of Revelation to the forefront of popular interest—and with it a host of problems.

With Daniel Dunkelberger on RealPlayer

One of the most encouraging people that I know is Daniel Dunkelberger. He is an expert in the history of film by Christian filmmakers. Above is an amazing speech he gave in 1999 at a Men's Breakfast in California.


The film, TO END ALL WARS opens in Los Angeles for a one week exclusive engagement this coming Friday, December 6-12 at the Arclight Cinemas in Hollywood. It's future distribution depends on it's success here, so if you live in Southern California, would you please try to go? If you don't live there, but know someone who does, would you please contact them and try to persuade them to go? You could notify all your friends who live in Southern California through email. It is important that it does well during the week, not merely the weekend, so please consider going during the week and bringing some friends with.

You will not be disappointed with this strongly redemptive movie. You can see the web site at: with a trailer and all! It is the story of Allied prisoners of war in a Japanese concentration camp during WW2. As they suffer under their captors’ cruelty, they find redemption in learning to love their neighbor and ultimately what it means to love their enemy. The Veterans of Foreign Wars gave the movie a medal of distinction and honor because of its accurate portrayal. It's like Shawshank Redemption meets Saving Private Ryan.

Here is the info:
Arclight Cinemas
6360 Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood
(between Vine and Ivar)
TEL: 1-323-464-1478 for show times

Hollywood Worldviews: Watching Movies With Discernment

Brian Godawa who wrote the screenplay for TO END ALL WARS has also written an incredible book Hollywood Worldviews: Watching Movies With Discernment published by InterVarsity Press. This book will open your eyes to the various philosophies behind some of the biggest hits to come out of Hollywood. I know of several groups that have used this book in their weekly discussion groups. Click this link and read what others are saying about this book. I strongly recommend it in your Christmas gift considerations. Click here for book info.

Post Your Thoughts Here

God bless you.
David Bruce
Web Master,

posted by Chase at 11:59 AM

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Bert Kampfert's Got The Mad Hits
The album, Tommy by The Who has been playing in my head.

Earlier tonight I visited Liverpool Records. That was an exciting time. This was me doing my Christmas shopping. After an hour I held 12 LPs totalling 21 dollars. At the register I found out that the store doesn't accept Visa on vinyl because its so cheap anyway. I had no cash. Neither did Donna. He asked to see what I had and took them. He said, "I'll give them to you for 10 bucks." I didn't know what exactly to say, this didn't change the fact that I had no cash. Donna said, "Can you hold them for a minute?" He agreed and we were off to the ATM. I got back. I handed him the 10 and he handed me the vinyl. He said, "I'll always fix you up with a good deal."

It's great when you don't even have to finiggle for the deal.

So looks like I'll be going back there. A lot.

When I got into the room I showed Jeremy the stack and he said, "but you don't have a record player." I had been thinking it but I definetly must get a record player soon now. I absolutely must.

Where's the best place to sell vinyl online?

posted by Chase at 1:17 AM

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Monday, December 02, 2002

Do you plan to teach your children to believe in Santa Claus?

posted by Chase at 11:56 PM

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Sunday, December 01, 2002

All Things Thankful

I have returned from a good relaxing Thanksgiving with my family. I have to admit that I was ready to be back in Graceville, just because I missed my routine I guess, and my friends. Thanksgiving occured this year at my Grandmothers house in Quincy, Florida. We all had alot to eat, and I was pretty stuffed. I love days where I can just relax and enjoy life I played Monopoly with my Mom, Hannah, and Asher, and I won! Of course I find it funny how I am only good with my money in a game, and not in reality. Pretty sad huh?

To me the funniest part of the Thanksgiving weeked are the day after sales. I am sad to say, that I took part in these cultic acts of getting up at ungodly hours just to be able to get a good deal on things you dont really need...but are fun to have. Caleb, Asher and I left about 4:30 in the morning to get to Best Buy so Caleb could buy a 25 inch TV for $150, which was a really good deal. So we are standing in line in the freezing cold at 5 in the morning with hundreds of people waiting for a store to open. Now I normally dont stand in a long line for anything that doesn have the name Star Wars on it, but there I was waiting for Best Buy to open.

Now during this time we had a bunch of good news/bad news occur.

Good news: they were offering free coffee
Bad news: it wasnt ready yet
Good news: it would be ready soon
Bad news: coffee makers were not plugged in!

That could be the saddest thing I have ever seen in my life, a bunch of guys who work at a store that sell nothing but cool high tech electronic gadgets and such, and yet they forget to plug in a coffee maker??? That's lost brain cells in my book! Well....about this time they finally opened the doors and let us in. My God the horror of it all!! The madness of the rush inside was insane! You could really hardly move around in the store because there were so many people. The lines inside were worse than the one outside. We had to wait in line for two hours to check out. It was crazy, but in some sick way...I kinda had fun.

Well yesterday I arrived back in Graceville and hung out with some friends, and we went to see Treasure Planet, which was really good. It was a really fun movie, which made us all laugh, and it was pretty action packed. It will be among my favourite Disney films ever, right up there with the Black Cauldron, The Lion King, and Beauty and the Beast. So you guys should go see it, its worth the money.

Thats about it on my end, I am really going to try to write more often, and maybe some people will actually read it when I am done. Comment alot, and keep reading, or we will hunt you down and beat you with a phone book.

.....grooving to U2.....

posted by Justin at 2:35 PM

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Happy Chanukah (Home For A Few Hours)

In just a few brief hours, I will be waking up to drive over to the hospital in Pensacola. Five hours of sleep seems insufficient. Maybe I should skip. If only I could. I'm sure I won't have a hard time waking up. I know what lies ahead. I will be over there for the next five days doing my practicum part of the class. It’s four-hour credit so it doesn’t seem like that big of deal. Just don’t really know everything that will happen. I had a decent drive back up to school today. I made pretty good time considering the traffic. The worst part is I have to repack for the week. I'm done with my normal clothes, now I have to pack my dress clothes. This responsibility stuff doesn't get any easier. My week home was good. I now know (if there were ever a doubt before) I don't want to live with my folks again, never, if possible. I love them, but there are so many rules. Sometimes I think it's impossible to please my Dad. My Mom is my biggest fan. She'll support me in whatever I do, even though I get her upset sometimes. My Dad is the exception. Sometimes, I feel like his genuine concern for me is not really concern but merely he trying to get me to live the life he thinks I should be living. And that kind of just sucks. I've learned a lot about life just by watching them, but now it's time to stretch my wings out and fly. Well, this is going to be the last post for a while. At least until the 6th of December and relax, it's only the 1st. Chase promises some insightful words for us and who knows, maybe Justin will grace us with his presence. After all it's his site! Maybe at some point, I can get on over at the hospital and go on location and let you guys know how I'm holding up. Once again, thanks for reading. I'd also appreciate any prayers while I'm there. It's going to be tuff emotional, physically, and spiritually. I love you guys and I'll see you when I return.

Until Kwanzaa...

posted by Jeff Watkins at 12:15 AM

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