Monday, March 29, 2004

Dine-In Only, No Sharing Please

I just moved the knife, fork and spoon
so to make room
so I could spill some ink
and tell you what I really think

your always there for me
when I want to eat a waffle
I hate when people nickname
this place the home of all things awful

monkeys and gentlemen
and barnyard friends
I'm here to inform you
this is not the end

the first bite is the greatest
and the last bite is the worst
I'll put this in a box later
with one last refill for my thirst

cos' sometimes I wake from my sweet dreams
my throat so terribly parched
but what can you do?
you know I say,
my shirt my be stained
but at least it's not starched

I never got around to what I was saying
but then again I never do
now my waffle's getting cold
it's just not worth talking to you
anymore.
was it ever?

Sunday, March 28, 2004

My Dad Did This Before I Did

Here's a list of all the records I currently own. Chase will have his up some day. I was bored, so I figured, what the hey. I have about thirty 45's too, but that's just too much more work. They are listed from least important to most significant or favorite:

Korean Children's Choir- The Ring of Happiness
The Harry Simeone Chorale- The Little Drummer Boy
Anne Murray- Snowbird
Billy Joel- Streetlife Serenade
Olivia Newton-John- Totally Hot
Olivia Newton-John- Have You Never Been Mellow
Kenny Rogers- The Gambler
Pete Townshend- All The Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes
Choirs of First Baptist Church Largo, FL- Ichthus
The Romantics- In Heat
Renaissance- Prologue
Kid 'N Play- Fun House
Joan Baez- Diamonds & Rust
Amy Grant- Age To Age
Barry Manilow- 2:00 AM Paradise Cafe
Stevie Wonder- Fulfillingness' First Finale
The Persuaders- surfer's Nightmare
Beach Boys- M.I.U. Album
Van Halen- Van Halen II
Linda Ronstadt- Greatest Hits
Peter Gabriel- So
The Doobie Brothers- The Captain and Me
Arthur Rubinstein- Moonlight Sonata
Charlie Daniels Band- A Decade of Hits
INXS- Kick
Frank Sinatra- Sinatra Sings of Love and Things
Roxy Music- Avalon
Merle Haggard & The Strangers- Hag
Chicago- 6
Willie Nelson- Partners
Barry White- Let The Music Play
Waylon Jennings- Self-Titled
Tom Jones- This Is Tom Jones
Village People- Crusin'
X- Ain't Love Grand
Captain & Tennille- Love Will Keep Us Together
Wang Chung- Mosaic
Lionel Richie- Linoel Richie
Boston- Self-Titled
Billy Joel- 52nd Street
Foreigner- Self-titled
Neil Young- Trans
Chicago- 16
Fleetwood Mac- Self-titled
Little Richards- Greatest Hits
U2- The Unforgettable Fire
Blue Oyster Cult- Agents of Fortune
Beach Boys- Endless Summer
Frodus- Conglomerate International
The Young Rascals- Groovin'
Tina Turner- Private Dancer
Joe Christmas- North To The Future
New Kids On The Block- Hangin' Tough
Various Artists- Columbia Jazz Festive
Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band- Against The Wind
Billy Joel- Glass House
Manhattans- There's No Good In Goodbye
Joy Electric- We Are The Music Makers
Billy Joel- Piano Man
Wham!- Make It Big
Cheap Trick- At Budokan
Simon and Garfunkel- Greatest Hits
Henry Mancini- The Pink Panther
Elvis Costello and the Attractions- Goodbye Cruel World
Johnny Cash- This Is Johnny Cash
A-ha- Hunting High and Low
John Lennon- Double Fantasy
Elton John- Greatest Hits
The Music Man- Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
The Temptations- Greatest Hits
Kansas- Point of Know Return
Santa Clause & The Fun Street Gang- Self-titled
Starflyer 59- Americana
The Who- Tommy
The Beatles- Love Songs
The Beatles- 20 Greatest Hits
Hello Dolly- Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Fleetwood Mac- Rumors
Ray Charles- Modern Sounds In Country And Western Music
Pink Floyd- Animals
Run DMC- Raising Hell
Focal Point- Suffering of The Masses
The Eagles- Hotel California
The Beatles- Let It Be
Ben E. King- The Best of
Stevie Wonder- Songs In The Key of Life
Billy Joel- The Stranger
Tears For Fears- Songs From The Big Chair
Slick Shoes- Rusty
Mama's and the Papa's- If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears
Pink Floyd- Wish You Were Here
Simon and Garfunkel- Sound of Silence
The Beatles- Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
Beach Boys- Pet Sounds
Ramones- Ramones
Pink Floyd- Dark Side of The Moon
The Beatles- Abbey Road

Friday, March 26, 2004

One Day I Would Like To Say This To You

Did you catch the show tonight?
No, the one outside
God painted the skyline for you and I

A piece of art just for us

The stars in the sky
The half-eclipsed moon
Lighting the way for the clouds to see
Bringing your heart through the night to me
The brilliant heavens above were clear
Oh, what a sight to view

So much pain was present though
My life seemed so hard
But all the bad went away
When the sky made it's way forward

There's never a time when I don't notice you
I can always pick out what’s been on my mind

It's easy to say
Sincere things I feel
But it's hard to write
That the things I'm scared of are real

I can't help but inquiry in bewilderment...
Did you see the sky tonight?

Will your dreams wander through that very sky?
Or will your thoughts be on some other guy?

Until you find that one special person
To share your dreams with
Whoever you dream of
Will always have dreams of someone else

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

The Battle not The War
Jed, you know, I'm happy for you. You got yourself an impressive record collection. I could've said that in the comments but that would have taken so much away from this post. Anyway, a thought I had was that maybe the rest of us should list our collections. Just to get it out in the open, you know. Does that sound like fun to anyone else? Or is it just me? For the record, Jed, you compete. And that's only after a few days. You strike fear in my heart.

Moving right along...Me and Donna are taking off for Montgomery as soon as I finish writing this. We're going there to watch Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. This is the nearest we found it playing. I think it's a shame really. I mean, it's obviously going to be a good movie. Hopefully it will be a wider release soon.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Don't Pass Out Yet! We'll Be Singing Later

I've never figured out why people get so excited to do trivial things. It's like there's all this anticipation that is built up and then when it's done, it's over. But, when it comes to Biblical things or something on that level (circa: worthwhile), people tend to not be as enthused. And when I say people, I mean me...

"During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission" -Hebrews 5:7, NIV.

Don't get me wrong blue, I know what you're thinking, and it's not true. It ain't me babe. I love to do the trivial things too. I get excited about going to see a band live, having a day off from work, or eating some Krystal or Waffle House late at night, just like everyone else. But, it seems to me that I and everyone else can surface more joy and expression in these ordinary events than doing those things in which proves that we belong to an extraordinary Redeemer.

One example of this, as from the previous verse's indication, is the issue of prayer. If you're trying to be like Christ, it could help your stride and advancement toward that goal if you did one thing; pray like him!

Crazy as it seems, I love to pray. I guess it's just a 'me' thing. I'm sure everyone can say it, including myself, but I don't know, when I pray, I get a peace. This is explained in scripture, of course, and the Bible even teaches us how to pray. The Lord's Prayer, which is more of a model than a word-for-word recitation, gives us a clue how to start, what to pray for, and how to say it. But even with a nod from God, my passion for a plentiful and prolific prayer life is flawed by one aspect--it's not always honest.

Praying honestly is praying fervently and selflessly. I'm not saying it's bad to pray for yourself because that is obviously absurd. We all have problems and God is the only one who constantly and consistently cares about your burdens and strife. However, when you prayers start becoming, "God do this for me, thanks," you've really run into some problems.

Maybe the reason I like praying so much is because mine start to sound like the example given above. I sometimes just pray to pray. Whoa... Pray to pray? Is this me taking advantage of something? Does God even hear me when I'm mumbling off rudimentary and incoherent thoughts all to the tune of a concluding and a not so astounding amen?

Philippiansns 4:6 "Don't not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (NIV).

If Christ submitted his concerns in worshipful and respectful submission, ought I do the same if I expect God to lower himself out of perfection to hear my feeble and petty cries? I should and I will. In relation to Christ, I'm nothing more than dirt on his sandals. However, since Christ atoned for you and I, we have the availability to cast our concerns to God whenever we need to.

Priesthood of the believer = Jesus is our mediator = PRAY!

With that freedom, there also comes a responsibility to treat this time of intersession with reverence. I believe God hears my every word, but limits what he does according to his will. However, if I'm just throwing some fuzz up to the "big man upstairs," I might as well just save it. God doesn't just want our words or our weekly 10%, he wants our time, minds, and hearts; our everything!

Sunday, March 21, 2004

The Kids Are Alright

My main problem with my job doesn't have anything to do with the actual work I do. I love where I work. Sure, it's scary to see how a few psychotic children and teenagers act sometimes, but for the most part, I'm really lucky. However, nights like tonight, when we are understaffed, it just gets so stressful. One child shows out, they all act-a-fool. You have to deal with it all at once. If we had more staff, then we could sort of, deal with it as it comes. Plus, the one that shows out, we can separate him or her, and get the rest of the kids back on task. I know 7 kids isn't a lot, but a few of them are seemingly psychopathic and most of them act insane anyway, thus they all require very much attention. And you know, I like the kids. Sure, I dislike getting hit, kicked, spit on, cussed at, flipped off, threatened, bitten, disrespected, and my every word ignored, but that's just most young people in general (haha). The real annoyance is dealing with everything when you're shorthanded and we are shorthanded 4 nights out of the week. Nights like tonight cannot happen or I'm going to need a room in a mental facility--or a new job...

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Everything is Broken
Donna almost sliced her left index finger off. So now I have to wash all her dishes.
My head is stuffy and I got a 'tomach ache, worst one since kindergarten.
And to make matters worse, the tyrannts of the village I live in are all coming down harder than Hitler ever dreamed.

But hey, tomorrow sees the beginning of Spring Break...the time when one and all will catch up on rest, relaxation and homework. Peace.
Waffle House Poem On A Napkin # 2

By Livingston & Watkins

jenga is a game
and love is a verb
but tomorrow there will be a yard sale at your suburb

tactless friends
who fart on cue
and those who can't keep the line of thought are going taste that

so back to the moral
almighty one
jenga is a game played by lame white people

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Death And Well, You Know...

These days, it seems as if I'm growing older at a more prominent rate than previous times in my life. Of course, every second that passes, is a second closer to the grave. Day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. Second by second. And as they say, every day above ground is a good day. But, really, I'm a Christian and all the aesthetics of life and death don't affect me because I believe life is eternal and my supernatural soul with be Christ in Heaven after my physical body is not longer inhaling oxygen. It's like The Dingee's said, "Dying was the easiest part, now I'm afraid of life." And really, it's all metaphysics anyway.

These thoughts of my earthly demise and decay stream from the struggles that occurred today when I did my taxes. I've helped my Dad with mine every year before, but today I filed my 1040EZ solely and hopefully without any errors. This is just another example of me growing up. Pretty soon you'll read about me falling in love, going back to do post-graduate work, getting married, doing ministry, graduating with my MA and maybe Ph.D, and buying a house, having children, retiring, and dying. Woo... I better slow down.

Death and Taxes, the only things that never change. There's a lot of insight into those words. Now that I'm doing my taxes by myself, death seems only footsteps away. Maybe I'm jumping the gun at tad. I'm only 23. But, nobody is guaranteed their next breath, so, I'm just going to sit back and gasp some clean, eh... some air for a few.

As well as I should be able to write by now, I know this might not flow perfectly or even be comprehensible, but it's what's floating through my feeble mind. I'm just starting to realize that my youth is over and I am virtually on my way to false teeth and watching the Price Is Right just before my afternoon nap. Don't leave us Bob!

"Wouldn't it be so wonderful if everything were meaningless?" Pedro The Lion, Rejoice, from the album Control.

Monday, March 15, 2004

The Hyper-Spiritual Meanderings of an Atheistic Christian
I'd like to start tonight's post by saying Jeff sure is a poet, ain't he? He's got a way with words.

Now that we have that out of the way. Tonight is a night that I especially appreciate the ability to communicate by blogging. My throat is sore. My voice goes in and out, mostly out, like a radio on the way out of town. If I were feeling hyper-spiritual I'd meander on how losing one's voice enables them to listen to God's voice. I figure this is true, but it isn't the first thought on my mind. All day today I would have begged you not to make me try and talk to you, however, on the way to Dothan I couldn't resist the urge to sing along to my favorite songs. I assume that wasn't healthy, but that wasn't the point. The point was that I like to sing. Yet, I take singing for granted. I'm not talking about talent, I'm talking about the whole process of air rising from within me and breezing past my vocal chords in just the right way. This is one of the best methods I have of expressing and managing various emotions that I sometimes feel. Yet I take it for granted. Tonight, at least, I am thankful for language and the ability we have through it to better function, express ourselves and understand others. I'm also thankful that God has created a way in which we can communicate with Him. I wish I were saying all of this out of a season of spiritual insight, but I'm not. I suppose it's more of an intellectual gratefulness. I want to be thankful with my whole heart, but its hard when so much of the time I feel like an atheist.

I didn't say atheist to be offensive, neither did I mean that I've lost or am losing faith. My faith is firmly intact. But it's really easy to agree with the idea that actions speak louder than words. If I say I believe Christ is Lord and yet do not submit everything to Him, aren't I a fool? It is foolish, wouldn't you say? I take comfort that by this standard we are all fools, yourself included. People talk about living by faith. That's difficult when I can't even manage medial spiritual disciplines. I'm tired of saying, "God, be glorified" and then returning to a life that is about myself. I too often treat God like He's a commercial. "Neat. Maybe I'll pick that up next time I go to town." I pray. And I get distracted. Or I fall asleep. Or I get tangled up in insincere ramblings. I have more trouble praying than some people have getting reception for their cell phone. Do you have this kind of trouble? I wish I could say I didn't. I wish I had the cure [insert scripture verse here]. Truth is, I don't think there's one verse that just nails it on the head. "Oh, that's where I've been going wrong." There are verses that help, but still this living by faith thing is a struggle which isn't perfected until heaven. I understand Christ has done most of the work for us, but we sheep are too dumb to walk a straight line and follow someone who at least knows how to wash himself.

It's been a pleasure communicating with you. Goodnight.
Woe To The Ones Who Fight For Fighting Sake

Go ahead
I'll pay no mind
Run the streets
Burning Time (the magazine)
Spread your disease like a commencement service
I hold on to what I know
No evidence to hide
I could careless about what will be found
Lies will subside
But, we shout things like "freedom"
Measures to scale our society by
Profiting off of a capitalistic mind
Commentaries on domestic diplomacy
Leading new beginnings through territories
A world where there is no ending
Peace is a mild exaggeration
Humor to those who dialogue
Reporting truth with travail
It's been six weeks
When do I get the new catalog
An unwritten chapter is about to be finished
Editing out what can't be transliterated
A peculiar underestimation
Chips on the shoulders
Of all who deem it feasible
To be better than what is in fashion
What is it to be loved
Nothing more than a modern trend
A false identity
Lacking ability
Mesmerized by something you know little about
Perplexed to carve up
Little know particulars
Caring for details that relate
This uncurious world
To stop, pause, or hesitate
Red light, yellow light, green light
All proceeds will be donated to charity
Noble and righteous causes
How nice to finally have some clarity
Outlooks on the five-day
Bring donations this way
Next thing you know
Somebody else’s self-declared win
Will be all that is left
No time to talk about things
Current events are trivia
Who’s killing whom
Oh you don’t know
Well then you’re not in

Saturday, March 13, 2004

"I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't mean to make you cry."

I would like to make a public apology for the things that I said in my last post. It seems some of my friends didn't take from it the comedic value which I had intended. In fact, they were taken aback, shocked and hurt.

It just so turns out I'm not so funny either. It seems once again the words I have spoken in gest have caused pain instead of laughs. I'm a doodyhead.

Okay. Stop. Please tell me you can read context clues. Please tell me you can take a joke. By joke I don't mean it's necessarily funny. I simply mean humor was the intention. Clearly.

Next time someone says or writes something that you could easily take offense to, assume it was a joke. Don't bring it up and especially don't have an intervention or serious conversation about it. That is unless they come at you with a hacksaw or other rusty blade. Then it may be time to talk. Otherwise, we should all assume that we are all friends.

It's cool man, it's cool. Trust me.
You Should Get out of Bed Sooner.

Wake up Maggie, I think I got something to say to you. Good morning, How was breakfast? Anyway, I just wanted to drop in and say nothing of significance.

My friends are all jerks. They should know that by now. They really aren't even funny, we just laugh out of routine. But it's okay. That is all for now.

Friday, March 12, 2004

I Decided To Give Up Everything

Wow, it's been a while hasn't it? I often estimate that asking rhetorical questions is a great way to get a multitude of comments. So, C'mon, prove me wrong. I have nothing really significant to report at this moment. Work was stressful all last week and weekend. The past few nights have been good and since I do not work this weekend, tomorrow has a certain appeal that promises it could go fine as well. Well, as previously stated, here is a list of all the bands I've seen live. Granted, there are probably 10-20 local bands that weren't significant or didn't stand out in my mind that opened up for these other bands. If you know of any that I've seen and they aren't listed, please tell me. I really want to keep this list so I can impress my kids when I'm not cool at 55. Without further ado, here are the bands and groups I've seen live:

238
Afrostrap
Anberlin
Appleseed Cast
Blaster The Rocket Boy
Blindside
Burns Out Bright
Capital Speedway (4 times)
Category 5
Chailsie Mode
Dashboard Confessional
Denison Marrs
Embodyment
Embraced
Ester Drang
Evergreen Terrace
Forever Changed (2 times)
Forever Is Not A Wish (2 times)
Further Seems Forever (2 times)
Ghoti Hook
Glasseater
Hadji & The Turbans
Huntingtons (2 times)
Ilya
Jars of Clay
Lower 48
Magnify
Michael W. Smith
North Via
Pedro The Lion
Portside Drive
Rhema (2 times)
Rocking Horse Winner
Seville (2 times)
Squad Five-O (2 times)
Stavesacre
Stretch Arm Strong
Supertones (2 times)
The Polar Bears
The September Engament
Three Crosses
Times of Silence (5 times)
Ultimate Fakebook
Underoath (2 times)
Value Pac
Wings A Shadow Cast (6 times)

Monday, March 08, 2004

Relax, It's Just A Coma

It's that part of the show when I kick my feet up on the couch, have a cold drink and tell you about my day. So listen up, would ya? You don't know where my feet are or what I'm drinking, but I'll share with you nonetheless. Besides it wouldn't kill you to work your imagination.

My uncle is doing better day by day. If you missed it he was in a wreck and has been in a coma since. Anyway, I have been really encouraged this week. He's breathing on his own a few hours of each day and when we hold his eyelids open he focusses on different people in the room. He even moves his eyes in answer to questions. Even the doctors have confirmed that these actions are not merely of reflex. It's been a long three weeks, but I have gotten closer to my family. I was going to write about it last week. I was unable, however, to finish writing before the computer lab closed that night. I saved my work and have since not been able to return to it. What I am writing now are simply the hurried jottings I can get out cause I got to be out of here in five.

I think the events of this past month have really changed my family for the better. I too have been effected profoundly. The impact may not be measurable for months. And this might be a shocker, but I've really gotten curious about people in comas and how they can be assisted in waking out of them. I have gotten so curious that I have been toying with the idea of getting vocational training so that I could be an occupational therapist. It shocked me too, but I love the idea. Really hands-on. Anyway, if I don't get out of here they're going to lock me in.

I now will return to my Dr. Pepper.

Saturday, March 06, 2004

Tonight I Smoked My Last Cigarette

Giving up on my vices
I'm too ideal to be this naive
Concluding that the worth I have is more
Habits I've quit a dozen times before

I got the title from Jed
We sang a song or two
Making up the time he has to give
One more joke, his last night to live

Only in our town
Tomorrow he moves to the city
A place to find a new scene
Where judges don't get to reconvene

Because statues and temples
Don't belong close by
Bring some drama that is good to hear
A discussion to have when he is near

So, tonight I'll take it back
All of these pictures
Shaped up and ripped out
Don't act like you were ever a boy scout

Friday, March 05, 2004

Tonight, Jed Flashed Me

Today, I became a man.

Actually, it happened a while ago.

So, I went to work today. I met with a man who sold insurance policies.

Despite being independent of my folks for some time now, paying all my bills, being almost old enough that my car insurance will go down, and all that other adult stuff, today I finally did the most mature thing ever.

I got medical insurance through my job at Laurel Oaks. I can now go to the doctor instead of suffering through my illness, like this past week. It feels good to be alive and at the risk of not having to be healthy. And, now, I have that liberty.

I'm so tired.

Chase, Jed, and I are going for breakfast at McDonalds tomorrow. I got to get up in 6 hours.

"It makes me feel so good. To always tell you when you're wrong. The big man that I am to always have to put you down. It makes me look so good. To always put you in your place. I can write it in a song. But never say it to your face." -Pedro The Lion

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

The Waffle House Poem On A Napkin #1

By Livingston and Watkins


A new section for To Whom. Anytime Chase and I eat out at a restaurant together, we're going to co-write a poem and it's going to be wonderful because it was funny to us:

I hate shoppers.
When I was 12 I got lost in Sears.
I thought about trying on women's underwear,
But then I saw Bob.
Who's kind of in the Mob.
One time he and I got drunk together.
But, he wasn't supposed to tell.
Instead, he told "Jeff The Cook."
At least he didn't mention the ***** ***.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Shade Tree

rest and relaxation
are just what I need
my zest is lost in taxation
weariness is a seed
that grows until its a tree
shadowing over all I see

nothing's wrong, really
no nothing big
it just feels like I'm up from a coma
and ready to go back in

yet as tired as I am
I may as well lay here in bed
and memorize the specks on the ceiling
like God knows the hairs on my head

I can't get a nap in edgewise
between these thoughts that weigh on me
I'd move out from underneath this pine
but I don't have the energy
so many cry for freedom, I just want a good night's sleep

I listen to my neighbors having sex
I play for them Jackson Browne
I think of how great men become wrecks
and how every king shall break his crown
have I been Jack and falling down?

at times the music's too loud
but I can't bear to move
to way across the room
to pull the needle from the groove

oh let them be disturbed
I've never been polite
it's not as if this is a special day
they get lucky every night

on the last track
tiredness yawns in my bones
for now this place will do
the purpose of a home

my mind may reel
but my eyelids are no longer wide
they pull with all their strength
like the oceans draw the tide
and with Jackson Browne's calming voice
I believe that I have died
under the branches of a shade tree
with the whispered words of a lullabye
Where's My Nightime, Sniffling, Sneezing, Coughing, Aching, Stuffy Head, Fever, Sleep Better To Feel Better Medicine?

Hopefully that indicates one thing. I'm sick. But, today is my day off, so I'm struggling between feeling sick and happy. I think the former is outweighing the latter at this point.

I watched School of Rock the other day with Justin. It was pretty funny. I thought it was a classic by the first forty-five minutes. Then the last forty-five just felt too ridiculous. So, I don't know how I feel about it now. Still funny though.

Also, a few days ago, I was sitting up late at night, pondering on things of the past. I was thinking about how much I enjoy music, especially to see the bands I love live. Then I was thinking about something else I really enjoy in life. Well, food came up next, but I decided to keep on thinking and of course, the female population came into my thought process. Then, I had an idea for a new theory. What is the correlation between the bands I've seen live and the girls I've kissed? Probably nothing, but it sounds like it could be something doesn't it? Maybe I could win a Noble Peace Prize if I come up with scientific documentation relating girls to live music. Anyway, I will be producing and posting one of those lists later this week, I'm sure you can guess which one it will be.

Alright, I think I'm going to go watch some TV and try to eat something and eventually feel better. You guys, just keep doing, whatever it is that you're doing...

"Never apologize for Rock and Roll!" - Chase Livingston