Invitation To Understanding
My week has gone by with nothing to say or to write. For those that may concern themselves with any fraction of detail to my life would appreciate the fact that it hasn't been a month since the last time I posted something. I was forced by the MAN at Sound and Spirit to fulfill my membership agreement today and purchase one CD at regular club price. I know, I know, it's my fault for joining the deal, but still you get 'raped' on something’s, but I think I got a good deal. I did spend like 60 bucks, but that's with their outrageous shipping and handling. Here's what I got:
Alice Cooper The Life And Crimes Of Alice Cooper (4 CD Box Set)
The Clash The Singles (Remastered)
Bob Dylan Love And Theft (Bob's newest full-length)
The Doors Greatest Hits (Remastered)
So, really, I'm getting like 7 cds, which is good. Just not the wisest investment I guess. You know, when I have credit card debt and all. At least I don't owe my friends money. As far as emotions go, let's just say the word 'mush' is a pretty good way to describing them. I think the title of my blog and the mxpx song gives some insight:
Invitation To Understanding
Come on understanding visit me for once today
I'll be grateful, you don't even have to stay
It must be hard for you to get over to my side of town
I know there's many people like me to be found
If you come knockin' at my door
And I am not around
Foolishness came by and we're downtown
Please don't leave
Please come on in and make yourself at home
I know you're probably used to being alone
Everyone keeps telling me you're something that you're not
But I know if I met you I'd like you a lot
What exactly does it take to bring you to my door
By the time that you arrive I won't live here no more
What can I do? There's no one here but me
And nothin' on tv
Where could you be? I really wouldn't know
Where else you might go
Well, that's about it for creativity today. Notice, I'm not using my own, someone else’s.
Again, I go unnoticed
Sunday, April 28, 2002
Saturday, April 27, 2002
For Once and For All
I don't know about you but I was getting sick and tired of seeing Beautiful Day at the top of the page. There are a lot of things in life I'd like to change . This is one of the few things I can do something about. Yes, I may get kicked and trampled on. I get pushed around all the time, this is true. Yes, I have to take it all like a man and wait til I'm in my room to cry about it. This, though it may be miniscule works wonders for my ego. I don't have to take this page or Eye Level not being updated. I suppose the rest of you do, but celebrate with me.
I've been listening to a lot of music lately as well.
1.Train- Drops of Jupiter
2. Smalltown Poets
3. Semisonic- Feeling Strangely Fine
4. Weezer-Pinkerton
5. Barenaked Ladies- Maybe You Should Drive
How many of these don't you know? That's what I thought.
Friday, April 19, 2002
Just About Ready To Say Thank God It's Saturday
Well, the adventures of another Friday night are almost over. In retrospective, I think this has been one week that I will not worry about getting over with... Many-a-thing hath occurred which causes me much grief, strife, and sorrow. Most of which I cannot reflect my feelings into words. So there's really no point in even trying to convey some letters to shape the outward appearance of a word in which might some how become a plausible sentence and make any comprehension apparent to you. This Friday night has only 32 minutes left in it. Don't you hate that feeling; when all you want to do is say something or talk about something, yet everything that comes out makes no sense or has zero relevance to the conversations that occupy your day. I feel like changing something and not my hair color. I feel like picking up the phone and calling and making amends with past friends, but I know that won't solve anything. I've fell into a hole and I can only see the dirt that's falling on my head as 'they' try to close the hole 'they' once dug. Have you ever felt like looking straight into a person's eyes and letting them use your eyes as telescope to see your heart, but then when you're both in the same room all you can do is close your eyes and walk right by. Sometimes I would rather sit in my room, lay on my bed, let the only light be from a lit candle, and listen as the song that plays explains that "even if you don't want to, you have to face the truth". Some say that you are so real, but really I am nothing but a fake. My life is as much of a sham as a phone card is compared to a credit card. Nothing but an endless depth of broken dreams and battered tears of pain. The light-scent of reality has no quench for my unmistakable urge to keep quiet and never speak. I guess at this point, I'd give anything to be anywhere other than here, sitting by myself. But, since that's all I've got, I guess I am a success. There's now 16 minutes left in my day.
Perhaps, I Suppose
Well, the adventures of another Friday night are almost over. In retrospective, I think this has been one week that I will not worry about getting over with... Many-a-thing hath occurred which causes me much grief, strife, and sorrow. Most of which I cannot reflect my feelings into words. So there's really no point in even trying to convey some letters to shape the outward appearance of a word in which might some how become a plausible sentence and make any comprehension apparent to you. This Friday night has only 32 minutes left in it. Don't you hate that feeling; when all you want to do is say something or talk about something, yet everything that comes out makes no sense or has zero relevance to the conversations that occupy your day. I feel like changing something and not my hair color. I feel like picking up the phone and calling and making amends with past friends, but I know that won't solve anything. I've fell into a hole and I can only see the dirt that's falling on my head as 'they' try to close the hole 'they' once dug. Have you ever felt like looking straight into a person's eyes and letting them use your eyes as telescope to see your heart, but then when you're both in the same room all you can do is close your eyes and walk right by. Sometimes I would rather sit in my room, lay on my bed, let the only light be from a lit candle, and listen as the song that plays explains that "even if you don't want to, you have to face the truth". Some say that you are so real, but really I am nothing but a fake. My life is as much of a sham as a phone card is compared to a credit card. Nothing but an endless depth of broken dreams and battered tears of pain. The light-scent of reality has no quench for my unmistakable urge to keep quiet and never speak. I guess at this point, I'd give anything to be anywhere other than here, sitting by myself. But, since that's all I've got, I guess I am a success. There's now 16 minutes left in my day.
Perhaps, I Suppose
Wednesday, April 17, 2002
I'm getting sick and think I might vomit
So, I just came from my advisor's office. I was filling out my schedule for next semester. I'm going to be graduating in May and the preparation is finally boiling down for the last year of school (Lord willing). $#(&*%%#$*&^%#&*@2. Those are my feelings right now as I decide what classes to take. I have to take in consideration the amount of work that each class will embrace. I also have to figure out which classes I can take in the spring and not worry about it then. AHHHHHHH!!!!! Yeah and now I feel all sick cause I'm anxious. This is some wacky stuff because I normally don't get all worried and junk. Well, at this point, it breaks down like this for next semester:
20 Hours
Psychology 301 Psychology of Religion
Psychology 310 The Psychology of Learning and Teaching
Psychology 330 Marriage and Family Life Education
Psychology 404 Clinical Pastoral Training
Psychology 420 Mental Disorders and their Treatments
Evangelism 201 Personal Evangelism
Theology 301 Christian Doctrine, God, and Soteriology
Can you guess my major? Yeah, that sounds fun. I'm sure I will change it again because I'm at the point now where I want to get done, but not at the risk of 'killing' myself. Then after this, on my way to graduate school, yew-haw!!! I know this is a typical answer, but I gotta pray about this....
see ya later kiddos
So, I just came from my advisor's office. I was filling out my schedule for next semester. I'm going to be graduating in May and the preparation is finally boiling down for the last year of school (Lord willing). $#(&*%%#$*&^%#&*@2. Those are my feelings right now as I decide what classes to take. I have to take in consideration the amount of work that each class will embrace. I also have to figure out which classes I can take in the spring and not worry about it then. AHHHHHHH!!!!! Yeah and now I feel all sick cause I'm anxious. This is some wacky stuff because I normally don't get all worried and junk. Well, at this point, it breaks down like this for next semester:
20 Hours
Psychology 301 Psychology of Religion
Psychology 310 The Psychology of Learning and Teaching
Psychology 330 Marriage and Family Life Education
Psychology 404 Clinical Pastoral Training
Psychology 420 Mental Disorders and their Treatments
Evangelism 201 Personal Evangelism
Theology 301 Christian Doctrine, God, and Soteriology
Can you guess my major? Yeah, that sounds fun. I'm sure I will change it again because I'm at the point now where I want to get done, but not at the risk of 'killing' myself. Then after this, on my way to graduate school, yew-haw!!! I know this is a typical answer, but I gotta pray about this....
see ya later kiddos
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
ANNOUNCEMENT
I had an idea! If anyone has any suggestions as to what we should use as far as http://www.eye-level.net/?????? let us know!!!!! Leave your ideas or comments on this post or under the post titled Moving???. We are just looking for something that would be easy to remember and what not. Examples would be:
http://www.eye-level.net/2whom
http://www.eye-level.net/jcj
http://www.eye-level.net/xtowhomx
Whatever, just more suggestions.. We or I (not Justin) would appreciate the feedback.. thanx...
w/ love and hatred
I had an idea! If anyone has any suggestions as to what we should use as far as http://www.eye-level.net/?????? let us know!!!!! Leave your ideas or comments on this post or under the post titled Moving???. We are just looking for something that would be easy to remember and what not. Examples would be:
http://www.eye-level.net/2whom
http://www.eye-level.net/jcj
http://www.eye-level.net/xtowhomx
Whatever, just more suggestions.. We or I (not Justin) would appreciate the feedback.. thanx...
w/ love and hatred
Nothing To Write, So Much To Say
Whispers of melodies play in my mind,
I listen as the radio reveals clueless words in time.
Unleashed by waves of frequency.
Through being processed by electricity.
Indirectly, I wonder how I will play out my life.
Living fake and thinking meek,
Never let anyone so freely speak.
Flowing springs of shouts and joys
Only to be out numbered by even louder cries.
Rewinding my thoughts only for a few,
I wonder what it’s like to see from her view.
Never underestimating, but never fully comprehending.
Distracted and fleeting I forward on to catch the ending.
The picture runs white,
Blurbs of color strike out the light.
My first love song has just been sung,
But it wasn’t me moving my lips along.
Is it an imposter or a traitor?
Who will it be that is greater?
There is no sound coming from within me.
I resume on and try to be,
Just moving on so I can wait and see.
Film and music capture great moments at the drop of a dime.
Now I wonder if mine are out of time.
This so vague and yet so bleak,
I don’t think I will be able to speak.
Just trying to the find the ending,
I question even the beginning.
Tears fill up these lonely eyes.
But, I wipe them away before I can cry.
Waiting, worrying, and wondering never gave me joy
So I loose those freedoms to seek self-control.
I’ll keep going on, all on my own way.
Thinking, questioning, and singing just to save the day.
Whispers of melodies play in my mind,
I listen as the radio reveals clueless words in time.
Unleashed by waves of frequency.
Through being processed by electricity.
Indirectly, I wonder how I will play out my life.
Living fake and thinking meek,
Never let anyone so freely speak.
Flowing springs of shouts and joys
Only to be out numbered by even louder cries.
Rewinding my thoughts only for a few,
I wonder what it’s like to see from her view.
Never underestimating, but never fully comprehending.
Distracted and fleeting I forward on to catch the ending.
The picture runs white,
Blurbs of color strike out the light.
My first love song has just been sung,
But it wasn’t me moving my lips along.
Is it an imposter or a traitor?
Who will it be that is greater?
There is no sound coming from within me.
I resume on and try to be,
Just moving on so I can wait and see.
Film and music capture great moments at the drop of a dime.
Now I wonder if mine are out of time.
This so vague and yet so bleak,
I don’t think I will be able to speak.
Just trying to the find the ending,
I question even the beginning.
Tears fill up these lonely eyes.
But, I wipe them away before I can cry.
Waiting, worrying, and wondering never gave me joy
So I loose those freedoms to seek self-control.
I’ll keep going on, all on my own way.
Thinking, questioning, and singing just to save the day.
Scapegoat
fingerprints skinned from the top
taken from the hand of a cop
It's New Year's
We wait for the ball to drop
I've made my wishes
I've made my demands
There's no negotiation
It's out of our hands
I will be your scapegoat
I will board your sinking boat
The room is waiting for you to stop
You drowned her in the raindrop
It's New Year's
The ball has dropped
FUMBLE!
fingerprints skinned from the top
taken from the hand of a cop
It's New Year's
We wait for the ball to drop
I've made my wishes
I've made my demands
There's no negotiation
It's out of our hands
I will be your scapegoat
I will board your sinking boat
The room is waiting for you to stop
You drowned her in the raindrop
It's New Year's
The ball has dropped
FUMBLE!
blindness strikes
as she likes
highway rides
on motorbikes
wind in her face
sun in her eyes
gnat in her teeth
brain full of lies
by running from trouble
she collides into pain
get out on the double
Or get caught in the rain
Sunday, April 14, 2002
a few poems
Justin inspired me today to do something that he does a little. I decided I would put some of my 'original' writing on the site (I use that term 'original' loosely). Justin and I both had some stuff published online at www.poetry.com Here is some of my writings from my unpublished book, Summer Nights That Are Still Screaming:
Waiting In the Wings
(The Lady I Loved)
As I feel the grasp of this heavenly creature, I know not where it leads me. Not knowing is ignorance, so I seek to find the answers to my soul’s desired questions. In this attempt of mediocrity, I can’t find what I am looking for. Just like a blind man that tries to see and cannot, I know not what its real and what unreal. So, I go along just blinded by the beauty she makes. Lovely scents from her fragrance guide my way. The beauty of the gleam from her pupil blinds you back to an unaware state. Her rose like structure and décor of beauty makes you wonder why, God is so good. Then a shock comes over me, like being frightened without a warning. She conforms to a different being and makes wonder who she is. So many things seem out of place, not knowing all of the things about my lady. My heart still seeks to find the good, but I’m disappointed by the results. I find the emptiness again, that I’ve known so well, for so long. I can’t fathom tomorrow because I doubt that I will make it through the day. I feel as if I’m dying and I won’t have anything else to say. This day was created for you and for me, yet oddly you killed it and now I have nothing more than a memory of today.
My Dark Night
When I sit up on this dark night of nights, I look at the heavens admire the sight. I see the stars in the sky and I wonder why she
hasn't found her love. I contemplate night and day, what to say, if today she would come my way. As she enters a room, there's
nothing to gloom. I watch shooting stars flow through the skies, then see those stars gleam right through her eyes. Every gesture she makes her hair falls in place. I see her image facing my way, and I shouldn't give any delay. The way her smile lingers on for a year lets me know there is nothing to fear. So, why do I have to feel this way? I guess I won't understand it today. When the sun shines through, breaking away the darkness of night, I wake up without a fight. I look at all the things God has created and I know I shouldn't have hesitated. For today maybe too late, for me to find my mate, but at least I know I can wait?
Love
As I lay the pedals down, I once was lost but then found. See I ran off like the rain without a care, lost in a sea of seas, corrupted by the waves in which I detest. Hence commith unto me saves. My journey that I must perceive is Him with me. I stumble though I am forgiven. Again and again, I stumble though I am forgiven. It is then that I realize that the greatest gift of all is love. Even though I stumble, He who is in me helps me off my knees and back on my journey. As the nails were driven and the sword pierced His skin, I wonder if he was thinking of me, as now on my journey, I am thinking of him.
An Untitled Misery
(Unaware of my own ignorance)
As darkness clears on a lonely night, I lay my head down without a fight. Falling deep, into a dark sleep. Reflecting on why I am about to weep. The mistakes that helped my belief yet, they have all caused me nothing but grief. Even though I was sorry and hurt, they could care less and just throw my apology in the dirt. Like a child, who is caressing the sand, they ripped me and squeezed me with just one hand. What did I do to deserve all this, maybe only God would care, despite my own bliss? When I lead one heart on, the other one was waiting the back, ready to attack. The pain I will feel forever and a day will only go away, if they forgive me today. Hurt and waiting are two forms of pain, but what I have will leave me nothing to gain. Yet, I still say I’m sorry for what I have done, only God himself will let me go, just like the sun. In conclusion, as now I look back, I realize that what I have done was as serious as a heart attack. After all this, I try to make it right again, but I wonder when will they let that begin? Begin what you may say, only when I can smile again. For now and forever more, I know who will settle the score, it is then that they will open the door.
Torn Earthly Release Equates Self Advice
My heart’s contempt fuels me on. My tired, pale, and lonely eyes are nothing but obstacles. I see this hurt that you show, but there’s nothing I can do, you won’t let me through. Four people tell me no and it’s no surprise, I keep trying despite my own demise. So many words I can speak, yet when we meet, there is no sound coming from me. I try so hard to make you utter one word, there’s no use, because nothing is heard. How can I make you smile? How can I bring you joy? How can I make you better? I figure I should just give up and I won’t even bother. Our story seems like a parody, sadly, it’s our own original story. What is left to do and what else can I say? I would cut out my tongue and give it away. I won’t do anything else, but inherit the wind, because for me that will be my end. This seems like it, it feels like it’s over, I might as well just submit. A particle in me seems not quite sure, but I quench that spirit and just remember a blur… My heart speeds up and races thin, what will happen to us, again?
Somebody Somewhere
My soul seeks to find shelter from the storm. A manic depressant looks forever, not knowing what he is looking for and not understanding anything he finds. He knows his love is around somewhere and he is as I am also seeking shelter from the storm. He like me, as the same equal in many ways, tries to find the one for him as I try to find the one for me. Along the way we both find it. Love comes and goes like days. Hoping the next along the way will be the one. Distracted by the opposites, we seize the day. Confused as we are, we are walking in the dark. Situations that come upon us must be handled in this manner: I don’t know what love is. All I know is when I am able to look at someone even in the worst of times and see a spark flare up like on the Forth of July, that’s love. Life holds many days lonely for me. I cannot be bothered by trivial matters. I can only hope to find my love someday by me, and only me.
sorry this is so long, grace and peace
Justin inspired me today to do something that he does a little. I decided I would put some of my 'original' writing on the site (I use that term 'original' loosely). Justin and I both had some stuff published online at www.poetry.com Here is some of my writings from my unpublished book, Summer Nights That Are Still Screaming:
Waiting In the Wings
(The Lady I Loved)
As I feel the grasp of this heavenly creature, I know not where it leads me. Not knowing is ignorance, so I seek to find the answers to my soul’s desired questions. In this attempt of mediocrity, I can’t find what I am looking for. Just like a blind man that tries to see and cannot, I know not what its real and what unreal. So, I go along just blinded by the beauty she makes. Lovely scents from her fragrance guide my way. The beauty of the gleam from her pupil blinds you back to an unaware state. Her rose like structure and décor of beauty makes you wonder why, God is so good. Then a shock comes over me, like being frightened without a warning. She conforms to a different being and makes wonder who she is. So many things seem out of place, not knowing all of the things about my lady. My heart still seeks to find the good, but I’m disappointed by the results. I find the emptiness again, that I’ve known so well, for so long. I can’t fathom tomorrow because I doubt that I will make it through the day. I feel as if I’m dying and I won’t have anything else to say. This day was created for you and for me, yet oddly you killed it and now I have nothing more than a memory of today.
My Dark Night
When I sit up on this dark night of nights, I look at the heavens admire the sight. I see the stars in the sky and I wonder why she
hasn't found her love. I contemplate night and day, what to say, if today she would come my way. As she enters a room, there's
nothing to gloom. I watch shooting stars flow through the skies, then see those stars gleam right through her eyes. Every gesture she makes her hair falls in place. I see her image facing my way, and I shouldn't give any delay. The way her smile lingers on for a year lets me know there is nothing to fear. So, why do I have to feel this way? I guess I won't understand it today. When the sun shines through, breaking away the darkness of night, I wake up without a fight. I look at all the things God has created and I know I shouldn't have hesitated. For today maybe too late, for me to find my mate, but at least I know I can wait?
Love
As I lay the pedals down, I once was lost but then found. See I ran off like the rain without a care, lost in a sea of seas, corrupted by the waves in which I detest. Hence commith unto me saves. My journey that I must perceive is Him with me. I stumble though I am forgiven. Again and again, I stumble though I am forgiven. It is then that I realize that the greatest gift of all is love. Even though I stumble, He who is in me helps me off my knees and back on my journey. As the nails were driven and the sword pierced His skin, I wonder if he was thinking of me, as now on my journey, I am thinking of him.
An Untitled Misery
(Unaware of my own ignorance)
As darkness clears on a lonely night, I lay my head down without a fight. Falling deep, into a dark sleep. Reflecting on why I am about to weep. The mistakes that helped my belief yet, they have all caused me nothing but grief. Even though I was sorry and hurt, they could care less and just throw my apology in the dirt. Like a child, who is caressing the sand, they ripped me and squeezed me with just one hand. What did I do to deserve all this, maybe only God would care, despite my own bliss? When I lead one heart on, the other one was waiting the back, ready to attack. The pain I will feel forever and a day will only go away, if they forgive me today. Hurt and waiting are two forms of pain, but what I have will leave me nothing to gain. Yet, I still say I’m sorry for what I have done, only God himself will let me go, just like the sun. In conclusion, as now I look back, I realize that what I have done was as serious as a heart attack. After all this, I try to make it right again, but I wonder when will they let that begin? Begin what you may say, only when I can smile again. For now and forever more, I know who will settle the score, it is then that they will open the door.
Torn Earthly Release Equates Self Advice
My heart’s contempt fuels me on. My tired, pale, and lonely eyes are nothing but obstacles. I see this hurt that you show, but there’s nothing I can do, you won’t let me through. Four people tell me no and it’s no surprise, I keep trying despite my own demise. So many words I can speak, yet when we meet, there is no sound coming from me. I try so hard to make you utter one word, there’s no use, because nothing is heard. How can I make you smile? How can I bring you joy? How can I make you better? I figure I should just give up and I won’t even bother. Our story seems like a parody, sadly, it’s our own original story. What is left to do and what else can I say? I would cut out my tongue and give it away. I won’t do anything else, but inherit the wind, because for me that will be my end. This seems like it, it feels like it’s over, I might as well just submit. A particle in me seems not quite sure, but I quench that spirit and just remember a blur… My heart speeds up and races thin, what will happen to us, again?
Somebody Somewhere
My soul seeks to find shelter from the storm. A manic depressant looks forever, not knowing what he is looking for and not understanding anything he finds. He knows his love is around somewhere and he is as I am also seeking shelter from the storm. He like me, as the same equal in many ways, tries to find the one for him as I try to find the one for me. Along the way we both find it. Love comes and goes like days. Hoping the next along the way will be the one. Distracted by the opposites, we seize the day. Confused as we are, we are walking in the dark. Situations that come upon us must be handled in this manner: I don’t know what love is. All I know is when I am able to look at someone even in the worst of times and see a spark flare up like on the Forth of July, that’s love. Life holds many days lonely for me. I cannot be bothered by trivial matters. I can only hope to find my love someday by me, and only me.
sorry this is so long, grace and peace
Friday, April 12, 2002
Catch Phrases
Do you ever wonder why? This seems like a silly question, but there is a very deep lesson to be learned. I always contemplate the outcomes of life and wonder how I could have changed something, done something different, or even not done anything to receive a different final realization. Of course, sometimes you just have to ask yourself why? I do this a lot when talking to God. I have a journal I keep. Sometimes, you might even catch me writing in it (I know, surprising). Just some thoughts I've written down about girls, life, and the general et cetera:
' I'm 22, but I wanna be 14 '
' Washington to Florida '
-I felt closer to you, over that summer, being 800 miles away. Than right now, sitting on your couch, 8 feet away-
' The second time is always better '
' No Title Could Tell '
-I don't ever wanna see your face disgraced, again-
' Knowing G.W. '
' Wasting So Many Stamps '
' I'm sorry, I'm 12 '
"God, these are what I'm feeling. let me decide how to handle them. let me actually seek your will, if that's not what i was doing before. questions and answers. seems like just not knowing is becoming the answer."
Funny how things seems so bleak. Yet, the breaking sight of a new sun coming over the horizon, that's not yet showing any color of light in the dark early morning sky; can be hope. hope for the future, Hope in the unseen...
Nighty-Night Nite
Do you ever wonder why? This seems like a silly question, but there is a very deep lesson to be learned. I always contemplate the outcomes of life and wonder how I could have changed something, done something different, or even not done anything to receive a different final realization. Of course, sometimes you just have to ask yourself why? I do this a lot when talking to God. I have a journal I keep. Sometimes, you might even catch me writing in it (I know, surprising). Just some thoughts I've written down about girls, life, and the general et cetera:
' I'm 22, but I wanna be 14 '
' Washington to Florida '
-I felt closer to you, over that summer, being 800 miles away. Than right now, sitting on your couch, 8 feet away-
' The second time is always better '
' No Title Could Tell '
-I don't ever wanna see your face disgraced, again-
' Knowing G.W. '
' Wasting So Many Stamps '
' I'm sorry, I'm 12 '
"God, these are what I'm feeling. let me decide how to handle them. let me actually seek your will, if that's not what i was doing before. questions and answers. seems like just not knowing is becoming the answer."
Funny how things seems so bleak. Yet, the breaking sight of a new sun coming over the horizon, that's not yet showing any color of light in the dark early morning sky; can be hope. hope for the future, Hope in the unseen...
Nighty-Night Nite
Wednesday, April 10, 2002
the spectator becomes the audience and the audience is left to talk
A lot of information and questions are being raised recently about the situations dealing the Biblical view of man's responsibility versus God's sovereignty. Much like Justin, I have been attending our cozy lil' Bible college for a while. I've seen people who had no idea, have an idea. I've seen people jump on a bandwagon and then jump off. I've seen people seek the truth and then I've seen them fall away. There really is never going to be a solution, resolution, or revolution to all of these events. The truth shall set you free. I pray that anyone who claims he or she has found the 'truth', in whatever view, will honestly seek and continue to seek what God would reveal to them through the Holy Scriptures. I encourage all to study and learn the opposing view. But more importantly, never be lacking in zeal; keep on, keeping on. Never become stagnant and let your faith dissolve within you. This truly is the test of Christian living. A quote that hit me quite hard the summer of 2001, I think is relevant here (a close friend sent it to me and I smile when I think about her). Thanx be to God that He delivered us, when yet we were undeserving of deliverance for our transgressions.
"Calvinism emphasizes divine sovereignty and free grace; Arminianism emphasizes human responsibility. The one restricts the saving grace to the elect; the other extends it to all men on the condition of faith. Both are right in what they assert; both are wrong in what they deny. If one important truth is pressed to the exclusion of another truth of equal importance, it becomes an error, and loses its hold upon the conscience. The Bible gives us a theology which is more human than Calvinism and more divine than Arminianism, and more Christian than either of them."
- Philip Schaff -
"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death. Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."
Romans 7:21-25 NIV
...love...
A lot of information and questions are being raised recently about the situations dealing the Biblical view of man's responsibility versus God's sovereignty. Much like Justin, I have been attending our cozy lil' Bible college for a while. I've seen people who had no idea, have an idea. I've seen people jump on a bandwagon and then jump off. I've seen people seek the truth and then I've seen them fall away. There really is never going to be a solution, resolution, or revolution to all of these events. The truth shall set you free. I pray that anyone who claims he or she has found the 'truth', in whatever view, will honestly seek and continue to seek what God would reveal to them through the Holy Scriptures. I encourage all to study and learn the opposing view. But more importantly, never be lacking in zeal; keep on, keeping on. Never become stagnant and let your faith dissolve within you. This truly is the test of Christian living. A quote that hit me quite hard the summer of 2001, I think is relevant here (a close friend sent it to me and I smile when I think about her). Thanx be to God that He delivered us, when yet we were undeserving of deliverance for our transgressions.
"Calvinism emphasizes divine sovereignty and free grace; Arminianism emphasizes human responsibility. The one restricts the saving grace to the elect; the other extends it to all men on the condition of faith. Both are right in what they assert; both are wrong in what they deny. If one important truth is pressed to the exclusion of another truth of equal importance, it becomes an error, and loses its hold upon the conscience. The Bible gives us a theology which is more human than Calvinism and more divine than Arminianism, and more Christian than either of them."
- Philip Schaff -
"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death. Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."
Romans 7:21-25 NIV
...love...
Tuesday, April 09, 2002
Best Friends Forever
First, I would like to say that I am not a former writer. I am still writing for this fine site. Don't count me out yet. I plan to be a part of this site as long as you both(Jeff and Justin) shall live.
Yesterday my dvd's came in.
1. Good Will Hunting
2.Forrest Gump
3.Almost Famous
4.Memento
5.Saving Private Ryan
Another thought: Seeing how Jeff and Justin are best friends forever and how they both have made statements that
I no longer write for the site I wonder if they want me to continue. Perhaps, they would prefer this be the best friend blog: The lives and loves of two broke and sad Graceville college students.
>
Forget Calvinian conversation, I think we should all take a moment of silence. Let us pray that Justin would understand God's calling on his life to write a screenplay with me. It's time to stop dreaming. We shall have that Oscar, even if we thieve if from Tom Hanks. I appreciated Jeff's blog for three reasons. One was that he linked me in the post. Second was that he rarely writes and so we thought he had quit. Third is that he spoke some of his thoughts on calvinism. I agree with him. Jeff is the kind of guy to be agreed with. I plan to write a similar post in the upcoming days but I don't have the time today.
Jeff, I'd like to dedicate this song to you. Nothing better explains all you mean to me. It's been a personal favorite these days.
THE CLOSEST THING -The Juliana Theory
you're the words that come out easy and i am speechless at best your star it seems to shine above the rest you're the face before the cameras the smile i'd like to earn the closest thing to perfect in a hollywood to burn your the beauty that is deeper than than eyes can merely see the closest thing to perfect but the farthest thing from me and i'd love to be the shoulder that you cry on and i'd love to be the friend you call when things are great you're the dream that hasn't ended and i'm still anxious for rest your words they seem to hang above my head you're the bud before the flower unfurls into full bloom captivating beauty but it may be all too soon you're the song that writes a story but leaves alot to read the closest thing to perfect but the farthest thing from me and like i really deserve a chance to sit across a table and tell you that i think you're wonderful and i think you're something special i guess this is my only chance to say i wish i knew you because i'm sure you're wonderful if i'd get to know you.
Justin you're cool too.
We Know It's Not Right
Greetings! Another week and not quite a month, I'm back with my addition of comments to whom it might or may concern (sorry Justin, I like my 'might' in there. Well, a lot has gone on since my last post. I'm gonna actually take this time now to let you all know that I am gonna take my writing privilege/responsibility a little more seriously and post something better, sooner than my previous attempts.
My last post was about a friend, a relationship, and a whole bundle of confused emotions. I can honestly take peace in the situation right now, possibly more, than ever before. Crazy, eh? I'm glad though. There still is no absolute result but maybe, just maybe, there will be one sometime before God calls me home... Haha, I can laugh about it now, but it's been a burden to my weak heart for a week. I've gotten caught up in commenting on other people's websites, so I'll post some things I wrote. This is in response to my personal situation, in relation to a couple of other friend's trials:
"Just to add to the madness... I much like Chase and Donna have my own situation/dilemma that I am in process of dealing with. IT'S HARD!!! Knowing, understanding, discerning, and seeking God's will. We know that His will isn't some hidden, foreign, unfindable object of truth. Granted, that often times it takes a strong, hard effort to find. I take joy in the fact that God has blessed me with a feeling of love and peace in my personal situation. Granted that the other element of my equation isn't convinced that it is God's will. I definitely think that this is a "GOD" thing and not just a "jeff" thing. I know that he will indeed reveal it to all the concerned parties when His time is here or break my heart of this fake pride that I believe to be true. All I can do is be a friend and pray that the next day will be the one where he bears her soul the truth or bends mine and I see the truth. Thank God that he is sovereign. Thank God that he is our best and only example of LOVE and that Jesus Christ was our living, breathing, human example!"
That was from Chase's website (former writer) EYE LEVEL. You nice folk can access it through (shameless plug for his site) http://www.eye-level.net In another random commentness (is that a word), I posted my opinion on a dispute between some friends on truth becomes lies :
"So... just to throw my two cents of non-reformed mumbo jumbo in, here is what I think. Both points are valid. However, I tend to believe that we wouldn't call God's Word, Calvinism or Arminianism one thing or another if either were 100% accurate. In that, if the Bible was visibly transparent, than the truth would indeed be revealed. God's word is not as simple as an Archie comic and I think that we forget to leave a little space open in the back of our polluted minds for a 2nd thought on a subject. Once we get comfortable with a belief or view we tend to become dogmatic and site all other's opinions as such heresy. The out come there is that we become disheartened with a friend or foe and loose our Christian fervored love towards them and for them. We then forsake the 2nd greatest commandment to love one another. I guess, then, as so eloquently as Scott Schultz puts it, Truth becomes Lies."
Yeah, rock the Kasbah. ANYwho, nodda whole lot more coming to my brain now. When I wad doing my reading for my New Testament class today, I found a intriguing quote. Milks (my roommate Michael Miller) and I decided to use our message board for more than it's original purpose today. We decided we would have a quote 4 the day from now on and switch on and off. Today was the inaugural celebration of that. Of course he went with a timeless quote from the 70's by a band some of you might be familiar with, Pink Floyd:
"You were nearly a treat, but really a cry."
Oh yeah, that quote I found is:
“The renewed mind knows that life will end with judgment. We must therefore live each moment under the scrutiny of the Judge. We may rejoice to know God as Father, but there must also be reverent fear! Every moment matters, eternally. The thought that we are to be judged according to our work could lead to despair; but our eternal salvation is not judged by our moral feebleness.”
So, that's about it for this session. I appreciate you all putting up with my tardiness and slacker qualities, I will try to improve. Thanx Justin for calling me your best friend. You're mine too, buddy. Oh yeah, BEST IN SHOW IS THE GREATEST, DRY, INTELLEGENT, FEELGOOD, COMEDY OF WHATEVER YEAR IT CAME OUT.
Goodnight and God bless,
Pictures, Stars, and Dreams
Greetings! Another week and not quite a month, I'm back with my addition of comments to whom it might or may concern (sorry Justin, I like my 'might' in there. Well, a lot has gone on since my last post. I'm gonna actually take this time now to let you all know that I am gonna take my writing privilege/responsibility a little more seriously and post something better, sooner than my previous attempts.
My last post was about a friend, a relationship, and a whole bundle of confused emotions. I can honestly take peace in the situation right now, possibly more, than ever before. Crazy, eh? I'm glad though. There still is no absolute result but maybe, just maybe, there will be one sometime before God calls me home... Haha, I can laugh about it now, but it's been a burden to my weak heart for a week. I've gotten caught up in commenting on other people's websites, so I'll post some things I wrote. This is in response to my personal situation, in relation to a couple of other friend's trials:
"Just to add to the madness... I much like Chase and Donna have my own situation/dilemma that I am in process of dealing with. IT'S HARD!!! Knowing, understanding, discerning, and seeking God's will. We know that His will isn't some hidden, foreign, unfindable object of truth. Granted, that often times it takes a strong, hard effort to find. I take joy in the fact that God has blessed me with a feeling of love and peace in my personal situation. Granted that the other element of my equation isn't convinced that it is God's will. I definitely think that this is a "GOD" thing and not just a "jeff" thing. I know that he will indeed reveal it to all the concerned parties when His time is here or break my heart of this fake pride that I believe to be true. All I can do is be a friend and pray that the next day will be the one where he bears her soul the truth or bends mine and I see the truth. Thank God that he is sovereign. Thank God that he is our best and only example of LOVE and that Jesus Christ was our living, breathing, human example!"
That was from Chase's website (former writer) EYE LEVEL. You nice folk can access it through (shameless plug for his site) http://www.eye-level.net In another random commentness (is that a word), I posted my opinion on a dispute between some friends on truth becomes lies :
"So... just to throw my two cents of non-reformed mumbo jumbo in, here is what I think. Both points are valid. However, I tend to believe that we wouldn't call God's Word, Calvinism or Arminianism one thing or another if either were 100% accurate. In that, if the Bible was visibly transparent, than the truth would indeed be revealed. God's word is not as simple as an Archie comic and I think that we forget to leave a little space open in the back of our polluted minds for a 2nd thought on a subject. Once we get comfortable with a belief or view we tend to become dogmatic and site all other's opinions as such heresy. The out come there is that we become disheartened with a friend or foe and loose our Christian fervored love towards them and for them. We then forsake the 2nd greatest commandment to love one another. I guess, then, as so eloquently as Scott Schultz puts it, Truth becomes Lies."
Yeah, rock the Kasbah. ANYwho, nodda whole lot more coming to my brain now. When I wad doing my reading for my New Testament class today, I found a intriguing quote. Milks (my roommate Michael Miller) and I decided to use our message board for more than it's original purpose today. We decided we would have a quote 4 the day from now on and switch on and off. Today was the inaugural celebration of that. Of course he went with a timeless quote from the 70's by a band some of you might be familiar with, Pink Floyd:
"You were nearly a treat, but really a cry."
Oh yeah, that quote I found is:
“The renewed mind knows that life will end with judgment. We must therefore live each moment under the scrutiny of the Judge. We may rejoice to know God as Father, but there must also be reverent fear! Every moment matters, eternally. The thought that we are to be judged according to our work could lead to despair; but our eternal salvation is not judged by our moral feebleness.”
So, that's about it for this session. I appreciate you all putting up with my tardiness and slacker qualities, I will try to improve. Thanx Justin for calling me your best friend. You're mine too, buddy. Oh yeah, BEST IN SHOW IS THE GREATEST, DRY, INTELLEGENT, FEELGOOD, COMEDY OF WHATEVER YEAR IT CAME OUT.
Goodnight and God bless,
Pictures, Stars, and Dreams
Tuesday, April 02, 2002
Blame The Old Guy
Dr. Purcell told Dr. Rathel that his class could take Dr. Rathel's class in volleyball anyday. A tournament has been arranged. Today we were discussing the upcoming battle. He said he wouldn't be our coach and I said,"You got us into this mess." Everyone laughed a lot. Then he said,"Since Chase is so hilarious, let's call it a day."
Dr. Purcell told Dr. Rathel that his class could take Dr. Rathel's class in volleyball anyday. A tournament has been arranged. Today we were discussing the upcoming battle. He said he wouldn't be our coach and I said,"You got us into this mess." Everyone laughed a lot. Then he said,"Since Chase is so hilarious, let's call it a day."
Actually, class commenced as usual. I just added that last part cause I'm a pathological liar and I realized the story wasn't as funny in print as it was in reality. You should feel sorry for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)