a few poems

Justin inspired me today to do something that he does a little. I decided I would put some of my 'original' writing on the site (I use that term 'original' loosely). Justin and I both had some stuff published online at www.poetry.com Here is some of my writings from my unpublished book, Summer Nights That Are Still Screaming:


Waiting In the Wings
(The Lady I Loved)

As I feel the grasp of this heavenly creature, I know not where it leads me. Not knowing is ignorance, so I seek to find the answers to my soul’s desired questions. In this attempt of mediocrity, I can’t find what I am looking for. Just like a blind man that tries to see and cannot, I know not what its real and what unreal. So, I go along just blinded by the beauty she makes. Lovely scents from her fragrance guide my way. The beauty of the gleam from her pupil blinds you back to an unaware state. Her rose like structure and décor of beauty makes you wonder why, God is so good. Then a shock comes over me, like being frightened without a warning. She conforms to a different being and makes wonder who she is. So many things seem out of place, not knowing all of the things about my lady. My heart still seeks to find the good, but I’m disappointed by the results. I find the emptiness again, that I’ve known so well, for so long. I can’t fathom tomorrow because I doubt that I will make it through the day. I feel as if I’m dying and I won’t have anything else to say. This day was created for you and for me, yet oddly you killed it and now I have nothing more than a memory of today.


My Dark Night

When I sit up on this dark night of nights, I look at the heavens admire the sight. I see the stars in the sky and I wonder why she
hasn't found her love. I contemplate night and day, what to say, if today she would come my way. As she enters a room, there's
nothing to gloom. I watch shooting stars flow through the skies, then see those stars gleam right through her eyes. Every gesture she makes her hair falls in place. I see her image facing my way, and I shouldn't give any delay. The way her smile lingers on for a year lets me know there is nothing to fear. So, why do I have to feel this way? I guess I won't understand it today. When the sun shines through, breaking away the darkness of night, I wake up without a fight. I look at all the things God has created and I know I shouldn't have hesitated. For today maybe too late, for me to find my mate, but at least I know I can wait?


Love

As I lay the pedals down, I once was lost but then found. See I ran off like the rain without a care, lost in a sea of seas, corrupted by the waves in which I detest. Hence commith unto me saves. My journey that I must perceive is Him with me. I stumble though I am forgiven. Again and again, I stumble though I am forgiven. It is then that I realize that the greatest gift of all is love. Even though I stumble, He who is in me helps me off my knees and back on my journey. As the nails were driven and the sword pierced His skin, I wonder if he was thinking of me, as now on my journey, I am thinking of him.


An Untitled Misery
(Unaware of my own ignorance)

As darkness clears on a lonely night, I lay my head down without a fight. Falling deep, into a dark sleep. Reflecting on why I am about to weep. The mistakes that helped my belief yet, they have all caused me nothing but grief. Even though I was sorry and hurt, they could care less and just throw my apology in the dirt. Like a child, who is caressing the sand, they ripped me and squeezed me with just one hand. What did I do to deserve all this, maybe only God would care, despite my own bliss? When I lead one heart on, the other one was waiting the back, ready to attack. The pain I will feel forever and a day will only go away, if they forgive me today. Hurt and waiting are two forms of pain, but what I have will leave me nothing to gain. Yet, I still say I’m sorry for what I have done, only God himself will let me go, just like the sun. In conclusion, as now I look back, I realize that what I have done was as serious as a heart attack. After all this, I try to make it right again, but I wonder when will they let that begin? Begin what you may say, only when I can smile again. For now and forever more, I know who will settle the score, it is then that they will open the door.


Torn Earthly Release Equates Self Advice

My heart’s contempt fuels me on. My tired, pale, and lonely eyes are nothing but obstacles. I see this hurt that you show, but there’s nothing I can do, you won’t let me through. Four people tell me no and it’s no surprise, I keep trying despite my own demise. So many words I can speak, yet when we meet, there is no sound coming from me. I try so hard to make you utter one word, there’s no use, because nothing is heard. How can I make you smile? How can I bring you joy? How can I make you better? I figure I should just give up and I won’t even bother. Our story seems like a parody, sadly, it’s our own original story. What is left to do and what else can I say? I would cut out my tongue and give it away. I won’t do anything else, but inherit the wind, because for me that will be my end. This seems like it, it feels like it’s over, I might as well just submit. A particle in me seems not quite sure, but I quench that spirit and just remember a blur… My heart speeds up and races thin, what will happen to us, again?


Somebody Somewhere

My soul seeks to find shelter from the storm. A manic depressant looks forever, not knowing what he is looking for and not understanding anything he finds. He knows his love is around somewhere and he is as I am also seeking shelter from the storm. He like me, as the same equal in many ways, tries to find the one for him as I try to find the one for me. Along the way we both find it. Love comes and goes like days. Hoping the next along the way will be the one. Distracted by the opposites, we seize the day. Confused as we are, we are walking in the dark. Situations that come upon us must be handled in this manner: I don’t know what love is. All I know is when I am able to look at someone even in the worst of times and see a spark flare up like on the Forth of July, that’s love. Life holds many days lonely for me. I cannot be bothered by trivial matters. I can only hope to find my love someday by me, and only me.

sorry this is so long, grace and peace