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to whom it may concern


About Me

Jeff Watkins
Age: Still alive
Occupation: Too many things
For sale on
For sale on eBay Wishlist
My space
My library
My reviews and lists

Previous Posts

My first trip to Austin, Texas!Went to the biggest...
A Piece of Me Has Died
The fucking USPS
Today's Haul

DCFC - The Barsuk Years
Ornette Coleman - "Tomorrow Is The Question!"
Hanging out, pushing buttons
My jazz collection

Blogs I Dig

His beautiful eyes...
Melissa's Journal
Mosaic Life
Morse Coded Signals
Of Folly and of Vice
Words Are Not Enough

Soundtrack of my Life

The Appleseed Cast
David Bazan
The Beatles
Johnny Cash
Alice Cooper
Miles Davis
Death Cab For Cutie
Bob Dylan
Ben Kweller
Professor Longhair
Pink Floyd
Stretch Arm Strong
The Who
Brian Wilson

Pop Culture interests

All Music Guide
Dr. Mohler's Radio Program
Hollywood Jesus
Monsters in the Morning
View Askew
XXX Church

Reading the Classics

Christian Classics Ethereal Library
Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy


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© To Whom It May Concern 2002-2010, except for cited or source material.


Friday, May 31, 2002


So I came across these words the other day and I was quite intrigued (see what school can get you). I decided I would write them down and share them with the entire blogging community. As I discover more of these captivating thoughts and verses I'll post them. As for me, I'm off to work in 1 hour. Bye! Bye! Bye!

The path of the righteous is level;
O upright one, you make the
way of the righteous
Yes, Lord, walking in the way of
your laws,
we wait for you;
your name and renown
are the desire of our hearts.
My soul yearns for you in the
in the morning my spirit longs
for you.
When your judgments come upon
the earth,
the people of the world learn
Though grace is shown to the
they do no learn righteousness;
even in a land of uprightness they
go on doing evil
and regard not the majesty of
the Lord.
O Lord, your hand is lifted high,
but they do no see it.
Let them see your zeal for your
people and be put to
let the fire reserved for your
enemies consume them.

Isaiah 26:7-11 (NIV)

posted by Jeff Watkins at 3:04 PM

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Thursday, May 30, 2002

Alone In My Principles
First off, how many people out there actually care or know that I write on here?
Would you miss me if I was gone? Do you even know I exist? Just curious. Feed me your comments.

I want to continue writing for To Whom. The problem is I have my own site and am against publishing the same thing in two places. I just need some direction. Why am I against posting the same thing twice like that? It feels cheap to me. No offense to anyone who does so. This would be especially lame if I did so once I start hosting this site on my domain. Does anyone agree with me, or am I alone in my principles? Jeff, that was a movie reference just for you. I asked Justin and he made me the editor. So, if you see bad grammar and mispelled words its my fault. But, please keep in mind I'm only one guy. It would take an army to fix all the mistakes I see. Guys, I'm just kidding. Everyone knows, I'm from Alabama and couldn't even read when I first met Justin and Jeff a couple years ago. The two took me under their wing and taught me how to read and write. Thanks Guys! They even let me be the token idiot. Gee, ain't that swell. Makes a guy want to call his mom and say, "Look mom, I done made something of myself." Too bad she got no phone.

What has been going on in my life? Why am I asking you? You just found out I existed.
Well, me and Jeff are taking a class on the Old Testament prophets. This has been a great class thus far. During the twenty minute breaks he and I make Hardee's runs. Sometimes when I'm out of dollars, the lady gives me food. She feels bad for me since I'm from Alabama and all. She says, "I's just don't feel like you was given a fair shake." And when she says that all I can think is, "I wonder if she would let me have a milkshake too." After class I take naps and wake up. Then, the best part of the day is when I go check my mail. Jeff sometimes has to help me read my letters. There ain't a whole heck of a lot to do here. It's a two horse town and somebody's out riding both of 'em. I don't have anything else to say. I have to go learn my lessons.

posted by Chase at 8:03 PM

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Wednesday, May 29, 2002

Possibly The Worst Thing You Could Ever Do

I was hanging out with Mike Sutton and Chase Livingston today. Mike and I were playing a little game of 'horse' on Tony Hawk 3 and having a good time of borderline insanity meeting mid-day insomnia. Well, maybe that’s what it was like for me. Anyway, I was thinking about something today that I've done many times before. It's something that causes me much grief, anguish, and sorrow. Not the fact that I cannot forget about it or even get over it. It's just the mindset that my thinking turns to every time I hear those specific words and that precise melody being played. I have a theory and it is called The Song Theory. That theory unequivocally states that giving a girl (besides your wife or daughter) a song, is possibly the worst thing in the world that you could ever do.

By giving a girl a song, I am simply conveying that you let one song represent all of how you've ever felt, ever known, and ever loved about that person. Obviously, I do not have factual or legitimate evidence to back up this so-called theory, but I do think that I know a lot about the subject. I like to sing and when I sing, sometimes I imagine that my strained, tiresome voice is going to be heard by a particular girl while I’m riding in my car and singing a song to her. It's funny because it's almost as if I actually believe that she can hear me. By the way, this is not directed towards anybody or specifically any girl. I can just think back and remember all the times I decided this one song talked about her and now forever more I will be reminiscent of her when I think about that song. By all means, that is definitely not a bad thing. It just makes your emotions react differently than you're used to when you hear that song being played. I wonder if it's like this for a lot of people. There isn't any song that is better than the other; every one of them put those memories and feelings back into your cranium. Maybe I haven't gotten over these girls yet and these songs are metaphors for why I feel the way I feel towards them.

Going along with the standard thoughts and ideas behind this theory, there is nothing worse that you can ever do in life. I could quite possibly be blowing this out of proportion. Yes, I know I am being ridiculous. Please, no comments about that aspect of this post. In any case, there is nothing worse you can do and feel bad about in life (in the general sense of emotions in relationships) than giving a girl, besides your wife or daughter a song. There are some obvious things in life like murder, killing helpless critters, and losing your job because you were trying to steal company paper from the fax machine that makes you feel of no value, insignificant and terrified to live. The epitome of hurt after a relationship has gone awry is only filtered back up through the reservoirs of your heart when it is tapped by those proverbial words and familiar chords of a lost song somewhere between your head and your heart. That is most definitely the prevailing wind engulfing the fire of wretchedness and gloom that can be found in your soul. There can also be good times when recollecting an old long lost love song inside your heart. Thinking of all the happy times, joys, thrills, and adventures you've once shared with another member of the opposite sex. But, in reality, like Adam Sandler said we all know that "Love Stinks!" This has been Jeff Watkins with another addition of Possibly The Worst Thing You Could Ever Do

…and we’re clear…

posted by Jeff Watkins at 7:51 PM

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Friday, May 24, 2002

Rules for Reading This Site

Disclaimer: This is all humor! Not to be taken seriously. We really love all you guys and are thankful you read our site!

1. Don't just read the top post!

We here at T.W.I.M.C pride ourselves in bringing you top quality posts from around the globe ( well, actually just one small area of the world). We do not write just for our own benefit, but for yours as well. Our lives are special to us, and we would hope they would be just as special to you. And yes, we really are that vain! So when you visit us, please scroll to the bottom of the page and check for updates. You never know when one of us may have posted a gem that you may have missed out on. So do us (and yourselves) a favor, and don't just read the top post, read them all.

2. Comment Frequently

Let's face it, everyone in this world has something to say. Whether you want someone's opinion or not, your going to get it. So how about leaving us a comment when you visit! Is that so hard to ask? Are we not good enough to warrant a comment from you? Here we are, writing for this crappy website just so you and your friends and neighbors can have an escape from the horrors of your lives, and you can't just say a simple thank you? Who the heck do you think you are?? And I am not talking about those nice little two sentence comments either. Any poor sap can do that. I'm talking about comments with meat in them! Use some five dollar words and show off! And don't just drop in to say "Hi", we HATE that! I don't wanna write a 2000 word essay on the Egg Foo Young Dynasty of Ancient China, and then go see the " comments [1]" link and the only thing there is some guy going "I just thought I would say hey!" Kinda makes you wonder what's it all for doesn't it? So comment, and comment well my friends.

3. Stay for at least 3 minutes.

If you are going to take the time to come visit us, don't do the pop in! Spend some time with us, let us know you care. We can tell how long people spend on the site, so your not fooling anyone. We know all about you nuts who come and stay for 20 seconds or 30 seconds, oh we know! Now what kind of example are you setting to the rest of the readers? Hmmm? Or here is the worst, there are some who dont even stay for 2 seconds! That is not even enough time to load the page! Now you may be thinking to yourself well at least it gives you guys some hits. Well let me tell you something! You can have those hits back, we don't want them! We don't have any room on this site for people who just "thought about visiting". We want quality time, not quick hits. So do us a favor, stay for a few minutes and peruse through the daily posts, or we will hunt you down. We have our ways.

4. Read the Archives

As you may have noticed, we have all our posts archived monthly. This is not just preservation my friends, this is also for you! Here is an example: We started this site back in January, and lets say that you just started reading this site last week. Now, there is an entire plethera of stuff that you have not read yet,all stored in our archives. This could give you at least an hour of what could be enjoyable reading, and it gives you a taste of how the site has evolved. This is our way of giving back, to you, the loyal reader. Think of it as a library. You don't just go to a library and check out the new releases, you may look for a classic novel, or a magazine. You have many options. However, we are not exactly like a library. We do not allow you to abuse your responsibilities. We ask that you follow these rules and do not bend nor break them, or we will ban you from this site and erase your hard drive!

5. Email Us

This is a new idea, considering I have just posted our email addresses. We welcome your emails with an open heart. We would love to hear how this site has helped you restore your marriage, boost your self-esteem, quit smoking, or take up golf. Ah, the joy of success stories. Maybe you don't have a good story you can share with us, so your feeling a little left out. Oh well, life sucks, we did not wanna hear from you anyway! Please do drop us an email here and there, just to let us know you care. No hate mail though. Hate Mail will be deleted and the sender found and eliminated.

posted by Justin at 9:32 PM

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Hello. As the newest member on T.W.I.M.C., I thought I would just write a short post of introduction and thank you. First I would like to thank Justin Mcleod for the invitation to join. Next I would like to thank my parents for spawning me, and finally I would like to thank myself for molding me into the genius I have become today. Sadly, this may be my only post for a few days. I will be traveling to Gainesville, Fl to attend the Bar Mitzvah of an extremely docile sasquatch, while simultaneously attempting to break the worlds record for extricating a lonesome newt from the dewlap of a tempermental bovine. So without further ado "allow myself to introduce myself." My name is Justin, hold your applause for later, and please make your checks and donations payable to Snavely Enterprises, Ltd. Thank you and good morning.

posted by Justin at 1:29 AM

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My friend Justin Snavely and I have been discussing the site recently. He may be doing some guest posting in the next few weeks. We are planning on having some fun! I dont know if I should tell you to be excited, or be afraid.

posted by Justin at 1:03 AM

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Thursday, May 23, 2002

mamma ilardo's
Since 1976

Chase and I just returned from the wonderful cuisine of mamma ilardo's pizza establishment here in the booming metropolis of Graceville, Florida. This restaurant served pizza faithfully to our school cafeteria for a few years. Then, because no students ate it, they put it in another location with an already established Subway (all the kids at BCF know what I'm referring to). I had some breadsticks and Chase had a personal pan pepperoni pizza and for the most part it was good. Quality food at affordable prices should be their slogan, but instead it's "mamma knows best." Catchy, I know. Anyway, I'm fixing to study because I have my final tomorrow for Southern Baptist History but I just wanted to let everyone know what was going on in my life. I figured I would just end this with the last 10 records that I had listened to. Have a good one.

New Music:

Mxpx "Ten Years and Running"
Slick Shoes "Self-Titled"

Last 10 Records I Listened to:

The Get Up Kids "Something To Write Home About"
Alice Cooper "The Life and Crimes of Alice Cooper"
Dashboard Confessional "So Impossible EP"
Appleseed Cast "Mare Vitalis"
The Beach Boys "Pet Sounds"
Overcome "Immortal Until Their Work Is Done"
The Huntingtons "Songs In The Key of You"
Ace Troubleshooter "Self-Titled"
The Beatles "Let It Be"
The Juliana Theory "Music From Another Room"

and remember kids "mamma knows best"

posted by Jeff Watkins at 3:36 PM

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Tuesday, May 21, 2002


When your a kid, things are so simple. There is food on your table, you have a roof over your head, everything is all Hakuna Matata. I think about my childhood alot, and how things seemed so easy back then. Being a kid was so wonderful. I remember my Dad taking me to see Return of the Jedi when I was 5 years old, and I remember the awe and wonder of it all. I can still close my eyes and see it all happening. My childhood memories are some of my most precious moments, and I love to remember the good times. Birthdays, Christmas, new brothers and a sister, all things that bring me happiness. We have old home movies of Dad, Caleb and I playing frisbee out in the yard. My throwing skills have still not improved one bit! I wish I could go back and live those times again. Of course, times were not always good, I remember the time I entered a July 4th bike race. Man I was so excited about it! I got to the first turn and my bike slid out from under me, and I scraped my knee up really bad! Maybe thats why I don't ride bikes anymore. But these are the things I look back on and remember. It sucks we have to grow up, and all of it changes. Simplicity becomes complication all in one moment, and *poof* your childhood is gone. Recreation turns into responsibility. Bloody knees turn into ripped out hearts. Innocence is lost. Your emotions are dealing with break ups while your skin is dealing with break outs. Jobs, money, girls, love, loss, car, school, parents, God, it's all overwhelming. The magic of childhood is lost.

I don't know why we have to grow up so fast, or if that is the way things should be. I think too many times we shrug off our childhood too quickly. We deal with all the turmoil of being a teenager and then evolving into an adult, and we lose something in the process. We lose our joy. I guess we lose it because of the hectic lives we all lead. For me, college has become an incessant weight upon my life. The pressure that school has put on my life has almost made my head explode. It really does suck to grow up.
I long for my childhood back, I want things simple again. I am tired of money issues, heartbreak, death, school, girls, and just the futility of worry. Living with all of that has been a constant headache. I am so glad Jesus is there for me, and gives me strength and rest. I am thankful for memories of the simpler times, and the gentle reminder that those times will happen again, when I am with Jesus. All the same though, it sucks to grow up.
To Whom It May Concern

posted by Justin at 11:40 PM

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Enter The Creation

I'm officially done with one week of school! Let's have a celebration! Only one more week to go! I had my mid-term today. It had 115-mulitple guess, true/false, and matching questions. With 10 extra credit fill in the blank questions at one point each. I missed 14 total and got a few of the extra credit right. That makes my total 95! I was so excited because I'm pretty much a slacker until a few days before the test and last night I was getting messed up on a lot of the dates. Now, I just have to survive four more quizzes and my final on Friday and I'll be fine. Then I have 3 days off and I start my 3-week long Old Testament 201 class. Work is going good. Turner Research got brand new Gateway Computers, DSL connection in every office, 65 MB Memory Voice Activated Digital Recorders for our phone calls, and a new survey. We are surveying Connecticut for the Department of Transportation about commuting. It's going to be interesting because I have to ask people for their name, phone number, address, etc. My hours will hopefully be picking up so I can save some money.

Speaking of work, during my shift a couple nights last week, I was doing a survey and nobody in Florida was answering their phone. So thus began the commencing of me jotting down some ideas for a new poem. This is my creativeness for the week. So, please gag, heave, vomit, spew, and just generally get sick at will:

The Operator Said
“Insert 25 More Cents”

I think about all the times I cried.
All the crimes I was tried for.
I call you all the time, as it feels that way for me.
In reality, it’s actually never.
I wonder what it’s like to be
On the other end of your receiver.
I listen to that subtle, faint tone
As it screams at me
When your phone sits and constantly rings.
Each ring seems to form a sentence
That so sweet and eloquently boasts
“I hate you.”
I get that pledged and constant feeling
Every time the operator’s voice so calmly assures me
“We’re sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is not longer in service.”
Why are my unanswered phone calls,
Metaphors for you lost feelings?
And why does it seem like your illicit tears
Are always wiped away by another man fears?
I lay here and try to hear.
It’s no good; I’ll never understand the way.
The way we could never comprehend.
How each other really felt,
I guess this is better than being left with doubt.

Later On

posted by Jeff Watkins at 10:24 PM

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I am at work now. I have been working at the Eye Center since 1 this afternoon and will be here until 10:30. Just thought I would fill everyone in. Peace.

posted by Justin at 6:55 PM

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Saturday, May 18, 2002

Episode 2: Day Two

Well I decided to skip ahead and get to the good parts, instead of telling you about every little thing we did. We started standing in line around 6:15, and the rest of the gang arrived in a space of two hours and paid me for their tickets. The local news crew was there and they were interviewing people in the line. Well they actually interviewed me and I made it on the nightly news! I was pretty proud of that, and so was my Mom. Around 9 they let us in the theatre to get seats, and yet we still had 3 hours to wait. Surprisingly, they went by pretty fast since we were all talking and having a good time. Finally the lights dimmed, and everyone clapped and yelled. Yet we still had 15 minutes of previews to watch. I have to say I enjoyed the previews, but I was ready for the clones to attack. Finally the Fox logo came on the screen, followed by the Lucasfilm logo, it was finally happening! Once the Star Wars logo and opening scroll started, everyone went nuts! Then an almost reverant silence began as everyone intently read the opening scroll, then the camera panned to space, as always, and the excitement began!

This movie really hit the ground running. Within the first five minutes you were already sucked into the film's plot. Leaps and bounds above Episode 1, and I think even better than the original films. Now, I was not one of the Episode 1 haters. I saw the film as an introduction the the characters, and no it was not as good as the original films. However, for all you Phantom Menace haters out there, Clones brings the magic of Star Wars back! Everything about this film worked. The acting was very good, as was the dialogue. In fact, the love story between Anakin and Amidala was very well written, and well acted. Natalie Portman was absolutely beautiful! Her portrayal of Amidala was amazing. Her mannerisms reminded me a lot of Princess Leia, as did Anakin's whiny "it's not fair" attitude reminds us all of Luke Skywalker in the original film. Hayden Christenson owned the role of Anakin! I loved the way he played the character, it was exactly how I would have imagined Anakin to act. You could already see his Dark Side struggle, and the hate building in his eyes.

I could write at least a whole essay on how much I loved this movie, there is so much to take in. Within the first 15 minutes of the movie, we are already on a speeder chase which easily blew away any other Star Wars chase scene. I loved it! I will point out some of my favorite aspects of the movie. Since I have already touched on the love story, I will leave it alone. Let's just say it smoked the love story in Titanic!

Obi- Wan Kenobi vs. Jango Fett

Easily my favorite character in the new trilogy. Ewan Macgregor IS Kenobi! He looks and talks just like Sir Alec Guiness, who played Kenobi in the Classic Trilogy. His lines,his mannerisms, everything about him I loved. He is no longer the padawan learner we met in Episode 1. He is older and wiser, even sporting a beard! He is a Jedi Master. His fight with Jango Fett is awesome! Fett chases him through an asteroid field a la The Empire Strikes Back, and it was really great visuals, good suspense, and awesome sound! The sound of the seismic charges exploding are the freaking coolest sounds I think I have ever heard in a movie! Very loud! You have to hear it to understand what I am talking about!

Return of C3P0 and R2D2

Threepio and Artoo have always been really fun characters, and I enjoyed seeing more of them in this movie. I felt like in Episode 1 they were not used enough, and I missed Threepio's whining. I was glad to see them back in this movie, and actually see signs of them as sidekicks again. Threepio steals the movie as being the classic comic relief we have come to expect from him, and of course Artoo saves the day. Like always.

The last 45 minutes of the movie

One word: Action! You will sit on the edge of your seat during the final battle scene. First we have Lucas' homage to old B-movies and Gladiator, with a scene of our heroes in an arena to be executed by these bad looking creatures. Of course, our boys use the Force and a little Macgyver-ish ingenuity to escape their bonds and fight for freedom. Obi-Wan even fends off one of the monsters with a spear! ( think old sci-fi flicks!) Then Mace Windu ( Sam " Bad MF' er" Jackson" and the rest of the Jedi Council show up and the party is over. All I can say is wow! So much stuff happens, amazing battle scenes! Think Braveheart with Lightsabers times 10! And guess what?? It's still not over!! Yoda shows up with the clone army and extracts the Jedi from the arena Viet-nam- style! Then more and more ground warfare! I am telling you, this movie pushes the limits on what can be done with movies visual effects-wise (Can you say Oscars?). Very cool stuff. And it still gets better.

The end Lightsaber duel

Well, this was the moment all the fans had been waiting for, and it was worth it! I am not about to tell you all of what happens suffice to say it rocked! I have one word for you: Yoda! This scene stole the movie for everyone! When Yoda walks in to the room the crowd went crazy! Yoda proves why he is the most powerful Jedi! I cannot even write about how cool it was to see Yoda fight. Hats off to the CG crew who worked on the fight scene. Amazing, amazing stuff. I could watch that scene a billion times over, I am ready for the DVD already!

This film blew my mind and went beyond all my expectations. It is a good time to be a Star Wars fan! And even if you are not, theres a first time for everything. I recommend this movie to anyone who likes Star Wars, or anyone who craves action and adventure. The Force is back my friends.

posted by Justin at 11:26 AM

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Thursday, May 16, 2002

Episode 2: Day One
I am back from a very exciting few days. It began with a long drive to Tallahassee and then climaxed with the viewing of what could be one of most visually stunning films I have ever seen in my entire life. The trip began with Brian, Oscar and myself packing Oscar's car and getting ready to depart, there was a dull excitment in the air. We get in the car and Brian looks at us with a gleam in his eye and says " Episode 2"! Of course this was the film we were anxiously waiting to see, but it also became the catch phrase for our time in Tally. Many laughs were shared due to that line, and other phrases we had coined, it was bound to be a fun few days. The drive was very fun, and the conversations were enjoyable. At the start of our trip Brian prayed God's blessing on us. He thanked God for us being able to hang out and have fellowship, and to be able to go watch Star Wars. He even thanked God for putting ideas like Star Wars in the mind of George Lucas, and asked God to bless Lucas. I thought that was really cool. I pray Lucas, and many others will come to the saving knowledge of Christ very soon.

We made it to Tally and eventually found the house where we were staying. Travis Henderson and his parents allowed us to stay at their house, which was only about 10 minutes from the mall. We were so freaking hungry, considering we had not eaten all day. Mrs. Henderson was making supper, but sadly, we could not wait. We took off for the mall and hit the food court! Dont worry we saved room for spaghetti! After dinner, we proceeded to go for a swim. Well I did not bring any shorts to swim in, so I had decided to just chill in the apartment. Well ,they convinced me to at least go out to the pool and talk with everyone, so I did. I suppose I could have borrowed some shorts from Travis, but somehow I dont think they would have fit me too well! Somehow everyone ended up daring me to jump in the pool with all my clothes on, so what the heck, I jumped in. It was interesting to say the least, but everyone commended me for doing it, so it was worth it I guess. The walk back to the apartment was freezing though! Through shivering lips I was able to utter the words " Episode 2" which somehow eased the coldness, at least for an instant! ( I am only kidding, I have not lost my mind. I did say those words though, just for a good laugh!) After we had all changed clothes ( and some of us drying our wet clothes) we watched Star Wars: Episode 1. It was good preperation for Episode 2, and we enjoyed commentating during the movie. Afterwards we watched the deleted scenes and then I hit the sack, well I hit the floor if you want the truth. For the record, sleeping on the floor is not all that bad. I was strangely comfortable, and slept pretty good. The best was yet to come, even though we all knew we had a really long day ahead of us. But the day would end with a long anticipation finally ending with the midnight showing of Star Wars Episode 2!

Our adventure in Tally will continue tomorrow with special appearances by:

The rest of the Graceville Jedi Knights ( Jed, Mike and Chaz)
The hit local christian rock band, Consumed
Mom and siblings
Star Wars fans by the hundreds, and even some anti- Star Wars people
and.................Burt Reynolds ( kidding)

Come back soon for Episode 2: Day 2 , a chronicle of our experiences watching Star Wars:Attack of the Clones. Also look for my review and thoughts concerning the movie.

posted by Justin at 11:54 PM

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Wednesday, May 15, 2002

Regeneration To Self

As all the Star Wars fanatics are sitting in front of a very crowded movie theater waiting for Darth Maul, Jar Jar Binks, Obi-Wan, and whoever else is in that movie, Chase and I are here in Smith Hall just taking it easy. I (like Chase) am taking a Southern Baptist History class for my first summer term. It's really interesting to see where my theology has developed from and how it got to be where it is today. The only drag is that it is four hours long on Tuesday through Friday. We've already taken 18 and 1/2 pages of notes... My hand hurts still and I've been out of the class now for 8 hours. I'm still working for Turner Research and that's always fun. You never realize how important dinner is to 55-year-old men, until you interrupt them from their delectable feast. I've got a lot of things going on in my life right now. But none of them show any form of life or being outside of my head. I'm thinking about so much stuff, I'm actually getting stressed. All the way from girls to punk rock to Tony Hawk 3 to tests to seminary to why does it smell after it rains? When Sean Tanner and I were hanging out these past couple of days, we were listening to a lot of Craig's Brother. They’re a band from Santa Cruz, CA and their lyrics really touch to my life. Sean found this song called Set Free that he really likes (I do too, cause it's my CD). So for the rest of this babble, I'm gonna post the lyrics to some of their songs that really make me think about life and make me want to sing them to certain individuals. Have a good evening world;


And though my sermon salts the air. My ears are soon left empty, silence still holds dominion. Words once adorned are now laid bear. Unpolished lumps of nothing. So much unheard opinion. Silence now dill, Hush now be still. All is at ease, Rest now 'n peace. Come now sleep.

So shut My mouth and close my eyes. I've no strength left to patronize. So much to see with eyes wide open, but not a thing worth placing hope in. So hold me now in sweet pretense. If life's not worth the effort, at least it keeps my interest. Like fools embracing ignorance. Striving to still ambition, hopes grip is so relentless. Silent now rest, come happiness. All is at ease hush now don't speak. Come now sleep.

So shut my mouth and close my eyes. I've no faith left to compromise. There's so much to see with eyes wide open. But not a thing worth placing hope in. Is that the Idea? It all seems like such a rip-off. Am I supposed to act like it's O.K.? And take it like a man? Don't give me that fantasy, I've nothing but apathy and Impotent anger.
And not a thing worth placing hope or anticipation. Accept the gentle thought of darkness and silence and slumber.


Nothing was wrong and the future looked better than it ever looked before, so I thought. The trouble was gone; it felt as if a bond had been restored. It’s over, he plead the fifth too long. Deserving to walk the plank and fall. No longer blind, the light hurts his eyes. In hope that time, will help anesthetize. Annul the hurt, the shame, that's eating him alive. He’s praying more than friendship will survive.

OK so far I’m not impressed. When does it get good and how much time is left? No way, she can't end up with him. Did the hero die, don't the good guys win?
Don’t the good guys win? Don't they win? Don’t they win in the end? No longer bound, it's freedom he defies. In shock cause I’ve been hit between the eyes.
I guess it's fair; I made the bed where I will lie. There’s got to be some way now. I’m sure he'll find some way now. The pain of losing you should fade in time.


I'm sure you're in a lot of pain, but it's supposed to feel this way. I never did this to you. Despite the beauty we create. I just can't stand beneath your weight. I don't know what to do. I’m sure you need a helping hand. But you're stuck in sinking sand. And you're pulling me in with you. Look at the mess you drug me through. Look at the pity you pursue. I’m falling out with you. Help me I’m falling out with you.

So make my instincts leave me be. Cause I don't want to fight or flee. But there's not much more you can take from me. Despite the pleasure we invoke, I’m so sick of being broke. Will it hurt this much when I’ve broken free? Well I try. But I can't understand why I have to hold your hand. Every step of the way, day after day, you depend on my strength to pull you through. But I’m just as weak as you.


I guess there's only one place to go from here. I think the options are clear anyway. I’m sure you’re tired of waiting for me. To figure out where you fit in. I guess I’m afraid of what we could be. Cause I don't want to sell you short of your dreams. I’m sorry for making you wait for me. Cause I don't want to hold you down. But I don't want to set you free. I don't want to make you run from me.

I guess it's hard to believe that I. Could make myself give up. After all this time you and me. Trying hard to make sense of our differences. Pretending we both had everything. I guess I believed in our fantasy. You only loved the one you wanted me to be. I’m sorry for breaking your faith in me. I don't want to hold you down.

But what if you're more than I could please. Could you accept apologies? I don't want to squander all your time. I don't want to mislead you. I think we both knew that it was done. Sorry I had to be the one. Sometimes I wish it were the other way around. I wish you weren't supposed to be set free.

All Lyrics Taken From Songs From The Album Lost At Sea


Buy the record @ Tooth And Nail Records Mailorder

Keepin' The Flow Movin'

posted by Jeff Watkins at 9:52 PM

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Tuesday, May 14, 2002

The Force is With Me
Today is "almost" the day my friends! Look at the counter! I am leaving in about an hour to go back to Tallahassee to watch Star Wars Episode 2! I am so freaking excited about this thing. I will most likely be standing in line all day on Wednesday, so I will not have time to blog, or do anything else for that matter. However, look for a new template soon. Jed is gonna make it for me, and I am very glad he offered. So the site should be revamped soon, too bad the writing is not going to be any different. Myabe we can hire someone to replace me and my incoherent dribble! Until then, you guys are stuck with me. After all, it is my site. In all seriousness pray for us as we go to Tally and that we will have a good time. Until next time, May the Force be with you!

posted by Justin at 11:40 AM

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Monday, May 13, 2002

Friday night I drove to Tallahassee to see a Consumed show. There were 3 other local bands there, the one I liked the most was a punk rock band called The Polar Bears. They were very good, and had great stage presence. Overall a very fun band. It felt like forever until Consumed came up, but was well worth the wait. Of course I am biased since the band consists of my brother and two of his friends. They had a few problems however, but it did not detriment the show. Caleb broke a bass string on the first song! Oops! Luckily The Polar Bears saved the day by loaning Caleb their bass. So he rocked the rest of night with 5 strings in operation. It really was an amazing show. For me the highlight of the evening was the last few songs of the show. Paul got out his acoustic and played a new song that I think rivals Third Day's Love Song. Everyone sat down and listened with open minds and hearts. You could feel the Spirit of God in the room. I can say that the song brought tears to my eyes, and thats very rare for a song to do that to me. After that, the band played some praise songs and we worshiped the Lord for a little bit, then it was time to rock! Their final two songs in the set really showcased the band's talent and passion. Everything sounded incredible! The music rocked, the vocals soared. It was a very good night. I went home blessed.

posted by Justin at 10:49 AM

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Sunday, May 12, 2002

Killing Helpless Animals And Saying Goodbye To Sean Tanner

It's now time for another installment of what's been going on in my life. Much the same as previous weeks not a great deal is going on. School and graduation are over. For the kids taking summer classes, we start back to school on Tuesday and I start back to work that same day. Overall, I guess the summer "break" will come at the end of July, maybe. During these past 3 or 4 days, I have been moving all of my personal belongings (or what some would like to call my 'crap') into my new roommate's crib. Yep, that's right, I'm gonna be rooming with Jed and that should prove to either be fun, brave, or terribly horrifying. I have so much stuff to put away and my roomy keeps bugging me to put most of it up. Gosh... the nerve of that guy.

Moving on to new business: today we say goodbye to a dear friend here at the ol' Buddhist College of Florida. Today, I drove Sean Tanner to Panama City, FL (about a 1 hour drive) to pick up his red Ford Escort rental car. He will be heading to Fort Myers, FL for the summer to work. Since I went to bed at 2:30 A.M. and got up at 4:30 A.M., I'm just a wee bit tired. Sean treated me to breakfast at our usual spot the Waffle House. Even though we were tempted to just drive to Panama City and eat at a cheap imitation restaurant like the Huddle House or the Waffle Shoppe, we decided that the Waffle House in Chipley would suffice our hungering bellies. We both got waffles and I got some ham. Mrs. Debbie (local waitress who always seems to be working when we go there) said bye to us and told Sean and I to drive careful. As we were walking out the door, Sean told her that he would see her in 3 months. I then added that I would probably see her next week.

Driving down to P.C. was a good time of yawning and flatulence for the both of us. On the way, there were a couple of birds that flew right in front of my car and I hit one of them. Sean then proceeded to scream at me "YOU HIT IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HIT IT!" Haha, it was probably one of the funniest things because for the rest of the morning he would sporadically yell that phrase out. We finally made it to the airport and it took us a few minutes and a few drives AROUND the airport to find where we needed to be. Sean finally got to his car and I helped him pack it up. We hugged and embraced for a short moment and went on our ways. Sean needed to get back onto HWY 231 and I was just gonna stay down in P.C. for a while. I was just following him out and we were still a few miles from where he needed to turn. When all of the sudden a squirrel ran out in front of me and you guessed it, I squished it. 2 for me; 0 for Sean. Almost in complete and utter haste I sped up to tell Sean about it. We finally got to his left turn on HWY 231 and I was still going straight. He rolled his window down and I explained the homicide of the squirrel. We had a quick laugh at the light and then it turned green. We said a see ya later and did a macho finger point in each other's direction and drove off. We honked the horns for a good mile, even though, I'm sure neither one of us could hear the other's horn after a good 250 feet. Then I drove around the lovely city of Panama City (Redneck Riviera) and went to the beach and had my quiet time and prayed. It was good. I'm so tired though and my Mom (Jed) is yelling at me to clean my room so I better go. Happy Mother's Day and the rest of everything else for you kids too.

To Whom It May Concern

posted by Jeff Watkins at 2:29 PM

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Friday, May 10, 2002

Some New Thoughts

I had this really well thought out movie review of Spider-Man ready to post this morning, and somehow it got lost. So I give up. I will just say it is a really good movie, go see it. If you don't go see it.....well......I could care less, I still enjoyed it. The semester has ended and I find myself enjoying life alot more right now. The stress induced chaos that was my life has now transformed into sweet summer bliss. Things seem to be looking up these days,and the past few weeks have been quite interesting. I should have a job lined up in the next week or so, depending on when I get the phone call. Once I have a job I will finally feel more like myself. I feel like alot of times people look at me as being a slacker due to the fact I have not had a job all semester. I do not want to be somone who is not doing something with my life. I am strongly thinking about (if both of my jobs work out) just working the rest of the year and not take any classes in the fall. Sometimes I really do think God is trying to pull me away from this school. He seems to slowly take away the things that keep me in Graceville.

Thats just not a bridge I am ready to cross yet, and may never cross.

To Whom It May Concern

posted by Justin at 1:09 AM

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Tuesday, May 07, 2002

Palm Reader

look deep in my eyes

and tell me what we already know

let's pretend there's prize

In the foresight you show

Hold my hand like the future

I'm glad you understand

that the world's ills and cures

all fit in the palm of my hand

posted by Chase at 4:22 PM

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Sunday, May 05, 2002

Humor Blog # 3 (final blog)

As posted March 28, 2002 by Justin McLeod

I have not updated this site in a long time. I in fact just got out of a coma! I took some NyQuil mixed with Sudefed and it knocked me out cold. Did I miss the Oscars? What year is this? Ok ok ok, that was not that funny, I am wasting your time, and I am sorry. Well to make up for it, I will tell you about this cool diet plan I found out about. I call it "the tape worm" diet. Somewhere around the 1920's and 30's the way some people would lose weight is they would swallow a tape worm, and it would eat the food in their stomach! Pretty gross huh? It gets better! They would reach a point where they would want to get the tapeworm out, can you blame them? Check this out! They would open their mouth, and hold a glass of milk up to it, and the tape worm would smell the milk and CRAWL BACK UP THROUGH THE THROAT AND OUT THE PERSONS MOUTH!!! That is one of the most disgusting things that I have ever heard of in my life! Of course I also think it is hilarious. Can you imagine some tape worm infested guy sitting at a dinner table with his friends, and then without thinking he starts to drink a glass of milk?? I am sure 20 seconds later his friends are running out screaming that their friend has just coughed up his intestines! In fact, some of these tapeworms have been recorded as being over 20 feet long. That is alot to pull out of your mouth! It reminds me of a magician puliing that hankerchief out of someones ear, except really digusting! I think the thing that bothors me the most is that someone actually had to think this up! Who comes up with this stuff? Who thinks Well if I swallow a tapeworm, I can lose weight? There are some messed up people, or just people who love taking risks! Think about the guy who had the first egg. I mean cmon! He was thinking Ok whatever comes out of this chicken's butt I am gonna eat! I personally think he lost a bet. It was more like Well Jim, you lose, now you have to eat that white oval thing that old Bess here dumps out, sorry man maybe next time you wont suck so bad at Poker! Its really gross when you think about it! But if I cant make you laugh, I will gross you out. Peace love and tapeworms!

posted by Justin at 11:13 AM

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Saturday, May 04, 2002

Bark and Bite

sometimes trees look like people

sometimes shadows look like souls

sometimes we walk to steeples

sometimes we fall in black holes

If joy is in victory

and pain is defeat

I'm carrying trophies

for my enemies

sometimes fact looks like fiction

sometimes desert looks like sea

sometimes touch causes friction

sometimes blind eyes can see

posted by Chase at 6:04 PM

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Friday, May 03, 2002

Humor Blog #2
As posted January 30, 2002 by Justin Mcleod

Well kids, I was at Wal Mart again last night. I was in the check out line again, and I saw another copy of WEEKLY WORLD NEWS and so of course I looked at it. Well here is a juicy tidbit of info for you. All of you who are planning on going to Mardi Gras this year, better bring your cameras. It seems that somehow , this alien from space has sent us a message! Pretty amazing huh? Well it appears that this certian alien is planning on landing his UFO right in the middle of Mardi Gras on opening night! Well I have to admit, Im pretty excited! I mean a REAL alien! Its perfect timing also, right around the same time of the ET rerealease! Gosh, I have so many questions to ask him. I have really been wondering about why all the UFOs are round. I mean I would think that you would have some different shapes, so there was at least some varity. I am really hoping that he will bring Elvis back also, because Graceland is just not the same without him. In fact I have an offer for this alien. I call it the 5 for 1 trade. Give us Elvis, we give him N'Sync. That sounds fair to me. Its not like aliens really appreciate music anyways, I really doubt they listen to music up there. If they did , dont you think they would have abducted the Dave Matthews Band? But they actually use humans for experiments, didnt you see INDEPENDENCE DAY? So I figure give them five guys that I personally will not miss, and the aliens and all their friends and families can all have some fun. And we can all bid NSYNC a fond bye bye bye. And my friend TR can finally get the Kings autograph.

posted by Justin at 3:13 PM

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Thursday, May 02, 2002

Happy Trails To You, Until We Meet Again

Well, as I type the ol' theme song from the Roy Rogers show, (I think that's where it's from) I have a smile on my face. Not that I haven't had a smile on my face in a while. It just seems like it has been a while since I've felt happy. Yay! Happiness is good! I made a 94 on my Sociology final. Which means if I did the math right, I have a 90.25 % in the class and yes ladies and gentlemen, that is an A. I hope everything else goes that good. If I fail my Psychology 340 final, I could get a D in the class. I better study really hard. As the semester and the school year draw to a close, I'm reminded of the last two years and what I was doing at this time. Even though I still have outlines to read, 4 hours of parallel reading to do, and 2 or 3 more finals, I just feel like it's almost over and I get a break, even though I am taking 8 hours of summer classes. It's just that reassuring feeling that this is only gonna be a short time of my life and I need to make the most of every moment and every day. "Because, that's really all that life is. A bunch of little moments." (Dogma)

I'm the kind of guy who has to finalize everything. I have to draw conclusions, so I can look back and say, this meant this and that meant that. As of yet, I have not done that, but I probably will. One common element at the conclusion of my year, every year, has been saying goodbye to a girl. First year it was (^!$#$!^) and then it was (%&*&%) last year. Haha, you thought I was gonna tell you their names. If you are my friend, you should know their names. Anyway, It just seems like this year or even this semester, I have reckoned and claimed myself to have figured out more or and become more knowledgeable than ever before. Now when I reminisce and look back, I cannot see a degree of knowledge gained by any experience or situation I've encountered. Sure, I have more 'knowledge', but I don't have the 'life knowledge' of knowing what one thing looks like or another think is in actuality. That's not a bad thing, because I obviously wasn't ready to deal with it or handle it. But, it does make me wonder, when will I be ready?

I don't want to change the world; I just want to change your mind

posted by Jeff Watkins at 5:12 PM

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Humor blog #1

As posted January 5, 2002 by Justin Mcleod

Ok, so I was at Wal Mart last night, in line waiting for my friend TR to check out. So I was bored and as we all do, I looked at the magazines. No....I did NOT look at any of the womens fashion mags, that would be stupid and ludicrous! But you know they have those stupid gossip magazines like the National Enquirer and crap like that sitting out there. Well here is this magazine...I think it was like Newsflash or something lame like that, well it had Bin Laden on the cover. Well I dont know if you are aware of this or not , but apparently out favorite terrorist had a wild Vegas weekend about 2 years ago! Yeah thats right folks you heard it right here, our friend Bin has been gambling and hanging out with showgirls! I wish I could say I was lying to you, but geez man they had the pictures plastered all over the article! In fact, one of the pictures showed Bin Laden winning at the craps table, surrounded by gamblers. There were quite a few pics and so their is proof that our boy Osama went to Vegas. Or course the FBI is saying that this is untrue and a hoax, but I think we know the truth! And they can't handle the truth! I dont see how anyone can call this magazine wrong....I mean they have proved that Superman is really gay and showed pictures of the amazing headless boy holding some pizza on his 2nd birthday! ( Remember to send the kid a card) Anyways we all know only the smart intellegent people in the world read this magazine, I dont know how the rest of the world missed it. Well I am waiting on CNN to come out with the Vegas story, I am a little curious on how much Bin Laden won...and if he endorses the slot machine.

posted by Justin at 2:35 PM

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I decided that my humor site is dead. I do not really update it because I have no sense of humor. Well actually I just like to focus on writing for this site, instead of trying to balance two sites. So I am going to repost some of my humor blogs on here, for my own viewing pleasure (because you guys won't think it's funny). So they will all be posted starting today, and I may just post one a day, just to keep it interesting. So everyone bid a fond R.I.P to Making you Aware.

posted by Justin at 2:32 PM

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