Regeneration To Self

As all the Star Wars fanatics are sitting in front of a very crowded movie theater waiting for Darth Maul, Jar Jar Binks, Obi-Wan, and whoever else is in that movie, Chase and I are here in Smith Hall just taking it easy. I (like Chase) am taking a Southern Baptist History class for my first summer term. It's really interesting to see where my theology has developed from and how it got to be where it is today. The only drag is that it is four hours long on Tuesday through Friday. We've already taken 18 and 1/2 pages of notes... My hand hurts still and I've been out of the class now for 8 hours. I'm still working for Turner Research and that's always fun. You never realize how important dinner is to 55-year-old men, until you interrupt them from their delectable feast. I've got a lot of things going on in my life right now. But none of them show any form of life or being outside of my head. I'm thinking about so much stuff, I'm actually getting stressed. All the way from girls to punk rock to Tony Hawk 3 to tests to seminary to why does it smell after it rains? When Sean Tanner and I were hanging out these past couple of days, we were listening to a lot of Craig's Brother. They’re a band from Santa Cruz, CA and their lyrics really touch to my life. Sean found this song called Set Free that he really likes (I do too, cause it's my CD). So for the rest of this babble, I'm gonna post the lyrics to some of their songs that really make me think about life and make me want to sing them to certain individuals. Have a good evening world;

LULLABY

And though my sermon salts the air. My ears are soon left empty, silence still holds dominion. Words once adorned are now laid bear. Unpolished lumps of nothing. So much unheard opinion. Silence now dill, Hush now be still. All is at ease, Rest now 'n peace. Come now sleep.

So shut My mouth and close my eyes. I've no strength left to patronize. So much to see with eyes wide open, but not a thing worth placing hope in. So hold me now in sweet pretense. If life's not worth the effort, at least it keeps my interest. Like fools embracing ignorance. Striving to still ambition, hopes grip is so relentless. Silent now rest, come happiness. All is at ease hush now don't speak. Come now sleep.

So shut my mouth and close my eyes. I've no faith left to compromise. There's so much to see with eyes wide open. But not a thing worth placing hope in. Is that the Idea? It all seems like such a rip-off. Am I supposed to act like it's O.K.? And take it like a man? Don't give me that fantasy, I've nothing but apathy and Impotent anger.
And not a thing worth placing hope or anticipation. Accept the gentle thought of darkness and silence and slumber.

MASONIC

Nothing was wrong and the future looked better than it ever looked before, so I thought. The trouble was gone; it felt as if a bond had been restored. It’s over, he plead the fifth too long. Deserving to walk the plank and fall. No longer blind, the light hurts his eyes. In hope that time, will help anesthetize. Annul the hurt, the shame, that's eating him alive. He’s praying more than friendship will survive.

OK so far I’m not impressed. When does it get good and how much time is left? No way, she can't end up with him. Did the hero die, don't the good guys win?
Don’t the good guys win? Don't they win? Don’t they win in the end? No longer bound, it's freedom he defies. In shock cause I’ve been hit between the eyes.
I guess it's fair; I made the bed where I will lie. There’s got to be some way now. I’m sure he'll find some way now. The pain of losing you should fade in time.

FALLING OUT

I'm sure you're in a lot of pain, but it's supposed to feel this way. I never did this to you. Despite the beauty we create. I just can't stand beneath your weight. I don't know what to do. I’m sure you need a helping hand. But you're stuck in sinking sand. And you're pulling me in with you. Look at the mess you drug me through. Look at the pity you pursue. I’m falling out with you. Help me I’m falling out with you.

So make my instincts leave me be. Cause I don't want to fight or flee. But there's not much more you can take from me. Despite the pleasure we invoke, I’m so sick of being broke. Will it hurt this much when I’ve broken free? Well I try. But I can't understand why I have to hold your hand. Every step of the way, day after day, you depend on my strength to pull you through. But I’m just as weak as you.

SET FREE

I guess there's only one place to go from here. I think the options are clear anyway. I’m sure you’re tired of waiting for me. To figure out where you fit in. I guess I’m afraid of what we could be. Cause I don't want to sell you short of your dreams. I’m sorry for making you wait for me. Cause I don't want to hold you down. But I don't want to set you free. I don't want to make you run from me.

I guess it's hard to believe that I. Could make myself give up. After all this time you and me. Trying hard to make sense of our differences. Pretending we both had everything. I guess I believed in our fantasy. You only loved the one you wanted me to be. I’m sorry for breaking your faith in me. I don't want to hold you down.

But what if you're more than I could please. Could you accept apologies? I don't want to squander all your time. I don't want to mislead you. I think we both knew that it was done. Sorry I had to be the one. Sometimes I wish it were the other way around. I wish you weren't supposed to be set free.

All Lyrics Taken From Songs From The Album Lost At Sea

COPYRIGHT CRAIG'S BROTHER 2001

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