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to whom it may concern


About Me

Jeff Watkins
Age: Still alive
Occupation: Too many things
For sale on
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Previous Posts

My first trip to Austin, Texas!Went to the biggest...
A Piece of Me Has Died
The fucking USPS
Today's Haul

DCFC - The Barsuk Years
Ornette Coleman - "Tomorrow Is The Question!"
Hanging out, pushing buttons
My jazz collection

Blogs I Dig

His beautiful eyes...
Melissa's Journal
Mosaic Life
Morse Coded Signals
Of Folly and of Vice
Words Are Not Enough

Soundtrack of my Life

The Appleseed Cast
David Bazan
The Beatles
Johnny Cash
Alice Cooper
Miles Davis
Death Cab For Cutie
Bob Dylan
Ben Kweller
Professor Longhair
Pink Floyd
Stretch Arm Strong
The Who
Brian Wilson

Pop Culture interests

All Music Guide
Dr. Mohler's Radio Program
Hollywood Jesus
Monsters in the Morning
View Askew
XXX Church

Reading the Classics

Christian Classics Ethereal Library
Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy


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© To Whom It May Concern 2002-2010, except for cited or source material.


Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Tonight, Tonight

My roommate, Blaize, and I are going to Waffle House later on this evening. It feels like a dream come true. It's been so long since I've been. I've missed you, old friend.

posted by Jeff Watkins at 5:10 PM

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Monday, June 27, 2005

I need work, and money

As of right now all my irons in the fire have to stay there. As some of you know, I am trying to get jobs filming weddings and live events. However, its really slow going right now. So heres the part where you guys do a bit of free advertising for me. If your in florida, I need some good word of mouth. I cant afford to advertise in the paper right now, so I have to go with people spreading the word. So basically help out if you can by telling people about me.

In case you dont know what I can offer, I basically offer a 3 camera crew, plus audio and all post production work after the shoot. I can do weddings, parties, meetings, anything really.

You can leave comments here, or contact me at

Oh, and I graduate on July 1st so send money...I need to pay rent!

posted by Justin at 1:26 PM

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A Quarter Century Old and Two Days

It's no consolation to me that there will not be a constellation tonight.

I'm thinking about getting a cell phone and joining the club. Does anyone have any advice on the club or cell phones in general?

I pity myself more than anyone else because I despise what I despair and all that I despair is what I despise and all that seems to be is stupidity.

My birthday was good. Thanks to everyone who wrote about it or shared it with me.

Golden births are like golden calves-idols, idols, idols.

posted by Jeff Watkins at 12:18 AM

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Saturday, June 25, 2005

You Can't See Me

Tonight a girl told me that people who have a "different" sense of humor make her laugh. I didn't know whether to be honored or offended.

It's funny.

For so long, I wanted nothing more than to be different from everyone else. But now that I am, sometimes, I would trade anything, just to be like everyone else.

Oh yeah, today I'm 25.

Although, last year I worked, this is my first birthday without being near my parents. I am a grownup.

posted by Jeff Watkins at 1:41 AM

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Not a member of the Tom-Tom Club.

In high school a friend of mine took his life. This jerk quarterback made a under-his-breath remark that David was in hell. What I wanted to do was pull Freddy off the railing he sat on with my arm around his neck and get a few good punches. But of course, I didn't.

This is not the point of the story.

I told friends about the incident. I had been the only one who'd heard him. When I told these friends they suggested it was better I didn't do anything because I would've gotten whooped up on. That was aggravating because well, even still I felt it was the thing to do.

And I still wish I had.

Still, this is not the point. Instead, the point is more to do with Tom Cruise. I'd like to physically assault that guy. It's funny that he got shot with a water pistol. Even though, this is wrong in all other regards. If I had a chance I'd have done it. Except I would have lived up to it.

I would have said, "I'm a jerk, but you're a poopy head."

Or maybe not, but I'm glad someone did. I don't get how he can be as rude as he is and never be without the defense of nearly everyone in the free world. It's not just women either, it's men too. Straight men, I might add. Even Dave Letterman is nice to him.

He's not charming, He's obnoxious. It's fact.

In the whole scheme of cosmic justice it would be of greater effect if I punched that quarterback. A guy has to know how to pick his battles. I probably should have confronted that guy but since I didn't these hotshot celebrities will always irritate me. This is actually a great way to deal with childhood cowardice.

I only have two more things to say.

Katie, all I can say is you should have stayed with Dawson.

And Tom, to use your words, put your manners back in.

posted by Chase at 1:40 AM

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Being Lazy is Only Fun When You're Living Off The Government

I haven't felt like blogging and I don't so much care to now. But I may as well.

I've been looking for employment. My mom asked how the search was going and I said, "still looking." She took a tone with me indicative of her suspicion that I haven't been looking.

Yeah, that would be pure genius. A married man who couldn't turn to his parents for any substantial financial help is just going to lay around like someone else is paying the bills. Or at least finding him a job.

My dad, on the other hand, asks if I'm just looking for church-related jobs. He says this as though he would smile favorably on that. Well, I've already answered this question. I've lost count how many times. I think it would be smarter to get a job and then get specific.

But what do I know?

At night we've been going through and compiling the best of my poetry for publication. We're almost done with this first step. I'll be submitting it in July. There are two publishers I am really interested in doing business with.

Tonight we're going to Centennial Park where the play movies for free. The main event this evening is Say Anything.

I've been laying around doing nothing for long enough. I need to get ready so I can go do more non-productive activity. Yeah, that's pure genius.

posted by Chase at 1:35 PM

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Monday, June 20, 2005

An Ideal Level of Self-Worth

Mistakes can be made
Plans can be changed
But the way you see yourself
Needs to be rearranged

I have my opinions
We study the presuppositions
Care for others doesn't go overlooked
This was not an observation

I say that guy doesn't like the things I do
Does that mean that I don't like you?

No, of course not
Because I'm still sitting here now
And I'm still writing

Please think of something more than yourself to doubt
You and I are simple, but you could have left me out

The way things go these days
I'm so sure of everything before it even happens
Maybe things could be different
I like life to work thriftily for me when God intends

You were more than a choice
Not just another flavor
Perceive yourself as someone who deemed what they wanted
Seeing your face as I do will help me to help you cherish our time with favor

posted by Jeff Watkins at 7:03 PM

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Saturday, June 18, 2005

Time of your Life

As of July 1st I will have a degree in Film and Video Production. It's been a wild ride my friends. I never thought I would ever reach a point where I would get out of school. I took a major step of faith last year when I moved to Orlando to go to film school. I remember my last year in Graceville, when some of the self righteous kids looked at me like I was an idiot for not wanting to go into the ministry. I am sure they would think I lost my religion at this point. Well maybe I have, but thats not the issue since religion kills anyways. God has brought me so far in the past year, and I have learned so much about my faith and about life. I have seen the world, and tasted some of its fruit....some sweet and some bitter. I have fallen alot, and God has picked me back up and brushed me off. I have watched the Holy Spirit give someone comfort and rest from their spiritual insecurities. God has used me, this underserving whore of inconsistancy, to impact alot of peoples lives. I stand in awe of that, and I am ahsamed that I havent done better in my pursuit of God. I am trying though, but it seems I am back to baby steps. Anyways, if anyone gets a chance, head to orlando for my graduation....if not..send money. Grace and Peace.

posted by Justin at 1:39 PM

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Thursday, June 16, 2005

About the Usage of the Phrase "Getting Krunk"

It seems like my breaks from day camp are filled with thoughts like this instead of the actual event of resting.

posted by Jeff Watkins at 2:35 PM

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Monday, June 13, 2005

I'm not a boy scout.

I'm not a boy scout.

How do I make this long story short? I can't.

We went to Eufaula this weekend for my family reunion. We aren't from there, it's just where we lodge for four-five days of the year. And actually, we stay in Florence, Georgia which you hometowners will know is there on your Eufaula borders. So, same difference I guess.

We had planned to meet Rich and Jessica around 9 on Thursday night. I left the information at home. I knew the street but not the exact address. We got to town after nine. I thought I knew which house was Rich's but I didn't see any Florida tags. We checked back a few times over the weekend. It wasn't until Saturday that I got out at that house and asked. I was right but they had left that afternoon. We really were looking forward to hanging out with old friends.

With the knowledge that my parent's cabin was going to be packed out I planned to stay at my aunt's cabin. She had offered awhile back and they would actually have extra beds. I told my mom this plan and she quickly began to fume. She had just told me when Connie was leaving but then claimed that she didn't know if she was getting a cabin. It was not the plan to not hang out with them, but just to sleep comfortably. However, my mom decided that we were trying to be offensive and from that decided to be short with us. So, obviously from that we didn't make a lot of effort to hang out. Besides that, everytime we did go over my btother was in trouble. Mostly, just for twelve year old stuff, but oh was it a big deal. Whenever things seemed intense (which was everytime) we made a lame excuse and left.

Me and Donna really enjoyed our stay with Aunt Connie's family. We sat up late with her and her husband Gary,and at different intersections, their kids. We drank coke and they drank beer, but that's all I have to say about that.

I'm really only writing this to hit the high notes. All the in-between was much more amusing. I don't want to write about that this morning. I will say that despite the tension of my immediate family we had a really good time this year.

Family drama I'm used to. The real fun began on the way home. Since we wrecked I pay more attention to the road than I ever have as a passenger. I sometimes get nervous at potential collisions. I can't help but imagine the possibilities. More and more I'm learning to take all the necessary precautions like I'm anal about being sure we don't lock the keys in. But as hard as one tries to cover his bases sometimes he misses a spot. The spot we missed this story is the need for a spare tire.

Listen to me. I will never again ride or drive a vehicle which does not have a spare.

Yeah, we apparently ran over something and it tore a big gash in the tire. We thought it seemed we'd run upon a flat. Thankfully, we were almost home. We turned into Wal-Mart to check it out. Yes indeed. I had high hopes that I could fix this flat, either by sealant, patches or plugs or some combination of those. Before we'd buy everything we had we tried the Fix-A-Flat. We knew the gash was too big to patch when all the sealant oozed from it. We'd have to leave the truck overnight.

I wanted to call a cab but didn't know the number. There wasn't a phone book in the booth and the operator told me I needed to call information. But I didn't have fifty cents. We thought "maybe if we just take it slow, we can get it home." We drove a couple miles and I asked if we could pull into a particular parking lot to see if it looked any worse. Yes indeed. It had torn from that gash to all around the tire. We still weren't driving on the rim, but I knew we'd have to walk.

Donna said it wouldn't be far. I believed her because I could see the Baskin-Robbins billboard that marks our turn. I thought that meant we were home free. I thought wrong. It turns out that the part after the turn was the longest part. It had to have been five miles.

It's amazing how people can just drive right past a couple obviously in need of a lift. I think God let me see this so that I could better understand exactly how evil we all are. We decided that when reasonable we will give needy people a ride.

We got to our apartment, without dying. Now we just have to get a cab, go to the truck, undo the tire, go to the tire people, have them put a new tire on that rim, go back and put that on the truck.

Then, we can go on about our day. Like we had planned.

posted by Chase at 11:11 AM

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Sunday, June 12, 2005


I arrived back from my trip a few minutes ago with newfound car trouble in tow. I hit some water while taking a break from my journey in Graceville. My car stalled. I gave it a few minutes. Ever since, it has been sputtering and doesn't accelerate right. This problem, rather me trying to solve it, is the reason for me getting back so late. That's another thing to deal with now. However, I thought this was interesting. Since Thursday at 4 PM, I have driven approximately 1,500 miles. Today alone, I was in the car 16 hours. I am exhausted. I am, I, eh... Whatever.

posted by Jeff Watkins at 2:46 AM

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Thursday, June 09, 2005

Driving, Again

Today I'm making another venture to Florida. I'm leaving right now for Bartow, Florida. My Grandmother's funeral will be tomorrow at 10 AM. Pray for my whole family and my ability to stay awake. It's a 10 hour drive.

Bye for now.

posted by Jeff Watkins at 4:13 PM

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Wednesday, June 08, 2005

And, Finally, After All This Time...

I finally got all my grades in. The first semester of graduate school is done (actually been out nearly a month) and I have a 3.5 GPA. Yay.

CEAM5119 Directives in Christian Education: A
CEAM6213 Servant Leadership: B
CEAM6225 Strategic Church Development Through Christian Ed: B
CEEF6203 Instructional Theory and Practice: A
CERW6270 Total Wellness: B
COOP5100 Introduction to the Cooperative Program: Pass
ETHC5300 Introduction to Christian Ethics: A

posted by Jeff Watkins at 5:13 PM

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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

My Grandmother Died

My Nanny Watkins died on late Monday night. I don't even know how old she was. Late 80's for sure. She died of complications from Pneumonia. The family and I are doing alright because she's been sick for a long time. She's had a case of dementia for about 7 years. I need to try to get off work Friday for the funeral, but I just had three days off work last week, so we'll see if that happens.

This is nothing related, but I had a lot of thoughts about my friend's wedding the other night. I really can't explain it--the feelings I had/have. I couldn't really expound of them then and now I don't much feel like it. My friend Teresa and I had a conversation about it on Saturday night. Thus is the result:

JeffyJeffW: hey
teresalynntucker: hey :-)
JeffyJeffW: how is it?
teresalynntucker: woke up less than ten minutes ago
teresalynntucker: not sure if I'm coherent yet, actually - but I'm trying :-)
teresalynntucker: so was your friends wedding today?
teresalynntucker: I can't remember
JeffyJeffW: yes it was
JeffyJeffW: it was nice
JeffyJeffW: totally catholic
teresalynntucker: good
JeffyJeffW: i experience transubstantation for the first time
JeffyJeffW: though, i didn't partake of the Eucharist
teresalynntucker: for doctrinal reasons?
teresalynntucker: or just because?
JeffyJeffW: a little of both
JeffyJeffW: i want to do it
JeffyJeffW: but, all my friends know i'm not catholic
JeffyJeffW: so i didnt want to confuse-- actually, i wanted the oppurtunity to explain why i was not
teresalynntucker: I'm sorry
teresalynntucker: I thought I had responded, but I didn't
teresalynntucker: That's awesome that you want to be able to talk with them about it
JeffyJeffW: yeah, cause i've never just been able to witness to them
JeffyJeffW: cause they thing they're fine
JeffyJeffW: which they might be
JeffyJeffW: think*
teresalynntucker: right
teresalynntucker: but also maybe not
JeffyJeffW: right
JeffyJeffW: so, but i chickened out of talking to everyone
JeffyJeffW: i wanna write on to whom about it
JeffyJeffW: but i dont know if i can
teresalynntucker: why?
JeffyJeffW: like... i get all weird when i'm around high school people
JeffyJeffW: because i'm different now
JeffyJeffW: and i dont know why i don't care about them
JeffyJeffW: or, rather, why i care about what they think
teresalynntucker: well, they had to have an important place in your life
teresalynntucker: so it makes complete sense that you care what they think
JeffyJeffW: yeah, but in reality, i know that was then
JeffyJeffW: like... so not important now
JeffyJeffW: and i strived to think like that in high school (this won't matter 10 years from now)
teresalynntucker: right
JeffyJeffW: but... i see them and its hard to just be satisfied with what i'm doing in my life
JeffyJeffW: its like i want approval
JeffyJeffW: all the while claiming that i dont care
teresalynntucker: It's like that for me and lots of old friends - not just from high school either
JeffyJeffW: there's got to be a reason why
JeffyJeffW: why i divided it from high school/college
JeffyJeffW: concenr
JeffyJeffW: concern
JeffyJeffW: i guess because college is where i actually decided to not care what folk thought
JeffyJeffW: can i post this conversation on to whom
JeffyJeffW: i just want to express these feelings, but i dont feel like writing
teresalynntucker: sure
JeffyJeffW: thanks

posted by Jeff Watkins at 5:19 PM

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Bed Sores from The Computer Chair

Bed Sores from The Computer Chair

We've been here 12 days. It was the 8th day before we had phone service. This is largely Bellsouth's responsibility. Thanks to everyone who participated in the "Midnight Phone-a-thon". Your t-shirts are in the mail. We haven't done a lot in the way of job hunting but we're going to kick that off full steam on Monday. Between tonight and tomorrow we will have our apartment completely decked out. On Thursday we leave for Eufaula where my family is gathering for its annual reunion. We'll get back sometime Sunday night.

My brain is froze up. Ctrl-Alt-Del isn't working. I'm going to have to shut down.

What a waste of your time.

posted by Chase at 4:40 PM

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Sunday, June 05, 2005


I woke up at 7 AM EST in Melbourne and now I'm fixing to lay down at 11 PM CST in New Orleans. It was a long 12 hour drive back, but I entertained myself, for the most part, with music. I drove just under 800 miles today. I am spent.

posted by Jeff Watkins at 10:15 PM

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Saturday, June 04, 2005


To Nick and Courtney Long who were married a few hours ago. It was a nice ceremony. It was great to see some old friends.

posted by Jeff Watkins at 3:16 PM

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Friday, June 03, 2005


Today I'm hanging out with a couple of friends that live near here (Melbourne, Florida). Both live like an hour and thirty minutes from my parents' house now. Ironically, I know neither of them from this area; I know them from Graceville. It's nice to come home and know old friends, but especially, when they're not that old. Or something.

posted by Jeff Watkins at 8:06 AM

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