Not a member of the Tom-Tom Club.

In high school a friend of mine took his life. This jerk quarterback made a under-his-breath remark that David was in hell. What I wanted to do was pull Freddy off the railing he sat on with my arm around his neck and get a few good punches. But of course, I didn't.

This is not the point of the story.

I told friends about the incident. I had been the only one who'd heard him. When I told these friends they suggested it was better I didn't do anything because I would've gotten whooped up on. That was aggravating because well, even still I felt it was the thing to do.

And I still wish I had.

Still, this is not the point. Instead, the point is more to do with Tom Cruise. I'd like to physically assault that guy. It's funny that he got shot with a water pistol. Even though, this is wrong in all other regards. If I had a chance I'd have done it. Except I would have lived up to it.

I would have said, "I'm a jerk, but you're a poopy head."

Or maybe not, but I'm glad someone did. I don't get how he can be as rude as he is and never be without the defense of nearly everyone in the free world. It's not just women either, it's men too. Straight men, I might add. Even Dave Letterman is nice to him.

He's not charming, He's obnoxious. It's fact.

In the whole scheme of cosmic justice it would be of greater effect if I punched that quarterback. A guy has to know how to pick his battles. I probably should have confronted that guy but since I didn't these hotshot celebrities will always irritate me. This is actually a great way to deal with childhood cowardice.

I only have two more things to say.

Katie, all I can say is you should have stayed with Dawson.

And Tom, to use your words, put your manners back in.