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Jeff Watkins
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Sunday, June 04, 2006

I'm almost old...

In twenty-two days, I'll be twenty-six years old.

I'm in the prime of my life! I know that. I also know that age is a relative object of existence and maturity. And then there are the times when I just feel exceptionally ancient. We all do, I think, but sometimes I actually feel fifty. A lot has to do with common twentysomething expectations and frustrations. But most of my issues deal with who I am now rather than who I will be.

Humans often make attempts to let their careers or statuses speak for themselves. If a person is a medical student, they make sure to mention that in conversations related to the topic of the field or in dialogure about their vocational pursuit. If someone has a job that pays over one hundred thousand a year, they make a point to explain it. The way that person communicates it is just in their speech or in their possessions. So why am I not doing that?

I don't know.

Why do I do anything? Probably because I think it will make me feel better or somehow make my appearance seem better than it is. I'm more worried about what I'm doing now than what I'll be doing five, ten, or even twenty years down the road. I understand the logic of dedicating concern for the daily happenings because the next day has enough issues itself. Yet, I am more worried about temporal pleasures than investing in things that will matter in the future. A for instance would be watching a DVD now to enjoy the evening rather than reading or studying something of significane. Another example: making out with a girl when I'm in the mood rather than trying to pursue a relationship that could possibly grow into more substantial fruition. You see, I am more worried about the now than the next. It's killing me.

If this seems incoherent, that's because it is.

"That ain't gonna fly when you're twenty five" - The Soft Drugs

posted by Jeff Watkins at 12:01 AM


Anonymous Michelle said...

I wonder why I do anything at all, at times as well. Then, I wonder why I'm not doing certain things that I should be doing. Funny concept. Too bad I suck at deciphering what I should and could be doing with what I actually am and will be doing. (Maybe not completely, but slightly.)

Oh, and I bought you a couple of small things the other day for your birthday. I hope they make you smile. :-)


10:48 PM  

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