Dreams, et cetera
They say dreams are the result of neuron firings and that without fail we dream every time we sleep. Well, if I don't remember I don't call it dreaming. I call it neuron firings. By that definition I've dreamed every night since New Year's Eve. That's 90 straight nights. I've never dreamed with such consistency.
I've dreamed of professors being disappointed with me. In my dreams I've met Adam Duritz,Yoko Ono and Eminem, among others. I've had two recurring dreams. One occurs in this ever evolving shopping mall. This place is an amalgamation of every shopping center I've ever visited. Parts of it are flooded a few feet deep, yet the stores remain in business. The second is of realizing mid-semester that I am inevitably failing classes I didn't even know I was in.
Sometimes I fly and other times I drown. From time to time I find myself naked in the middle of town looking nervously for clothes. So as far as that all goes I suspect my dreams aren't much different than yours.
Once I dreamed that hundreds of Klansmen were taking over my town and trying to track down and kill me because I had a black friend. Thankfully, that never happened. In ninth grade after hearing a couple sad songs on the subject I dreamed that my father died. That one really upset me. I skipped three days of school and spent them with him. But he didn't die.
Two nights ago I dreamed that my sister and brother-in-law were getting divorced. No reason was given, just that they decided to. Everyone was pretty non-chalant about it and encouraged me to support my sister. I wanted to tell her she was messing her life up. That dream felt like it lasted all night. I cried. This dream hurt as well.
The next day I told Donna about this dream and asked her if she thought they seemed happy together. She wasn't sure, but felt as though they were. It's not that I've any inclination they are unhappy its just that I don't know. The hardest part is that I don't feel like I can ask my own sister. I don't believe this is a sign or vision. The other dreams didn't come true, so it seems that would be the case here as well. That seems logical enough, but not being more sure hurts.
How have your dreams haunted you?
Monday, March 31, 2003
Monday, 47 Days Until Graduation
I’m sure they don’t really expect you to go back to class the first day after your spring break is over. Hmm... maybe they do because I’m sitting in my computer class right now and my professor sure is talking fast. I’m not really sure what she is talking about, but it has something to do with Microsoft Access.
My break was much needed! Even though I didn’t do any school work, I got a little accomplished. I gave Daive Puppy back to Teresa on Saturday night. The girls were glad to see each other. I didn’t do much yesterday. I’ve been watching a lot of wrestling lately.
Well, the countdown has begun. I’ve actually been counting down since August 1999, when I started college. I’m really excited. I’ll be glad to take some time off until I go do my masters where I won’t be sitting in a class room. Hopefully a year of working full time and living in this small town will motivate me to save and pay off debt and get the heck out and move on with my life.
Sorry this is so random. I’m just updating the world on my life (because some people care). Hopefully I’ll have something more significant to write later in the week. Until then, farewell to fashion...
“So I'll go walking through the streets until my heels bleed and I'll sing out my song in case the birds wish to sing along. And I'll dig a tunnel to the center of the universe. Well here I am. I don't know how to say this. The only thing I know is awkward silence. Your eyelids close when you're around me to shut me out.” Freakish by Saves The Day from the album Stay What You Are.
I’m sure they don’t really expect you to go back to class the first day after your spring break is over. Hmm... maybe they do because I’m sitting in my computer class right now and my professor sure is talking fast. I’m not really sure what she is talking about, but it has something to do with Microsoft Access.
My break was much needed! Even though I didn’t do any school work, I got a little accomplished. I gave Daive Puppy back to Teresa on Saturday night. The girls were glad to see each other. I didn’t do much yesterday. I’ve been watching a lot of wrestling lately.
Well, the countdown has begun. I’ve actually been counting down since August 1999, when I started college. I’m really excited. I’ll be glad to take some time off until I go do my masters where I won’t be sitting in a class room. Hopefully a year of working full time and living in this small town will motivate me to save and pay off debt and get the heck out and move on with my life.
Sorry this is so random. I’m just updating the world on my life (because some people care). Hopefully I’ll have something more significant to write later in the week. Until then, farewell to fashion...
“So I'll go walking through the streets until my heels bleed and I'll sing out my song in case the birds wish to sing along. And I'll dig a tunnel to the center of the universe. Well here I am. I don't know how to say this. The only thing I know is awkward silence. Your eyelids close when you're around me to shut me out.” Freakish by Saves The Day from the album Stay What You Are.
Friday, March 28, 2003
Stayin’ Alive
There aren’t many things that would cause me to quote a Bee Gee’s song in my post, but after my drive back to school on Wednesday, it seems like a pretty good avowal. So, I’m cruising back to school, minding my own business, driving behind a big ol’ mack truck. Now, I know I probably shouldn’t have been following as close as I was, but I was paying really close attention to what was going on. We were going about 75 Mph in the left lane and I noticed three cars beginning to pass us on the right. Well, the first two cars passed the big rig and me successfully, but that darn third car was trailing slowly behind. I could tell that he was going to try to pass the truck, despite spacing differences, and of course he did. Well, I’m playing this out in my head, so I decided to back off a little bit because I know the car is going to try to pass the truck and the truck is going to have to break. What happened next, I could never have predicted. So, all of this is happening. That stupid car tried to get in front of the truck and made the truck have to slam on it’s breaks. But, it was a good thing that I backed off because apparently the car almost sideswiped him or so it looked like, I couldn’t really tell. All I see is the red beak lights coming at me. At that point the truck and what it was hauling began to turn side ways. I thought it was going to jackknife right there. I had to slam on my breaks. At some point, the truck blew out one of his tires and the interstate engulfed in smoke. While I was slamming on my breaks, mine locked up for a second, paralyzing my ability to steer with accuracy. Here I am weaving trying to avoid hitting the truck. I’d like to say that I was slick enough to look on my right side to see if anybody was in the other lane before I swerved, but I can’t say that. I just thank God that he was watching out for me and nobody was in the next lane because I would have hit them. Finally, gaining control of my car, I glide by him still breaking. The guy that was driving the truck must have been the best driver on I-95 that day because not only did he get his truck back under control, but he did it all and pulled off on the side of the road, while taking out a bunch of the those huge cones with the lights on top and not wrecking. I was shaking for so long afterward. That was one of the scariest moments of my life! I prayed before I left, but you can bet I prayed a lot more before that day was over. So, I almost died that day.
I’m now back at school after surviving the drive back up here. I’m dog-sitting for Teresa Tucker and her dog Daive is sleeping over. Yep, I’m having a girl sleep in my bed tonight. She is a dog and her name is Daive and that is really neither here nor there. Daive and I have been hanging out all day, listening to some hardcore and Beatles, and watching movies. We’re watching Jackass right now. Daive was digging the tunes earlier. Tonight, Chase, Donna, and I went to Chipley to eat at the Waffle House. We stopped at McDonalds for shakes afterward and we also stopped so we could use the restroom before making the long twelve-mile trip back to G’ville. While we were in there, Chase was thinking out loud I suppose and said, “I don’t think we’re alone”. Of course there was a guy in the stall next to us. Like I said, we were there to get shakes and I was buying them, so I asked Chase, “What size do you want?” (referring to the shake). Chase remarked something like “Oh my…” Anyway, we left and realized the guy in the stall probably thought we were gay. Out in the lobby, the rest of the employees and that guy were whispering and talking about us, it was really funny. I laughed at them. It didn’t bother me that they thought I was gay. I knew I was coming home to a girl in my bed. That’s it for the past few days, still more fun to come on Spring Break 2003!
“The sun is up, the sky is blue. It's beautiful and so are you.” Dear Prudence by The Beatles from the White Album.
There aren’t many things that would cause me to quote a Bee Gee’s song in my post, but after my drive back to school on Wednesday, it seems like a pretty good avowal. So, I’m cruising back to school, minding my own business, driving behind a big ol’ mack truck. Now, I know I probably shouldn’t have been following as close as I was, but I was paying really close attention to what was going on. We were going about 75 Mph in the left lane and I noticed three cars beginning to pass us on the right. Well, the first two cars passed the big rig and me successfully, but that darn third car was trailing slowly behind. I could tell that he was going to try to pass the truck, despite spacing differences, and of course he did. Well, I’m playing this out in my head, so I decided to back off a little bit because I know the car is going to try to pass the truck and the truck is going to have to break. What happened next, I could never have predicted. So, all of this is happening. That stupid car tried to get in front of the truck and made the truck have to slam on it’s breaks. But, it was a good thing that I backed off because apparently the car almost sideswiped him or so it looked like, I couldn’t really tell. All I see is the red beak lights coming at me. At that point the truck and what it was hauling began to turn side ways. I thought it was going to jackknife right there. I had to slam on my breaks. At some point, the truck blew out one of his tires and the interstate engulfed in smoke. While I was slamming on my breaks, mine locked up for a second, paralyzing my ability to steer with accuracy. Here I am weaving trying to avoid hitting the truck. I’d like to say that I was slick enough to look on my right side to see if anybody was in the other lane before I swerved, but I can’t say that. I just thank God that he was watching out for me and nobody was in the next lane because I would have hit them. Finally, gaining control of my car, I glide by him still breaking. The guy that was driving the truck must have been the best driver on I-95 that day because not only did he get his truck back under control, but he did it all and pulled off on the side of the road, while taking out a bunch of the those huge cones with the lights on top and not wrecking. I was shaking for so long afterward. That was one of the scariest moments of my life! I prayed before I left, but you can bet I prayed a lot more before that day was over. So, I almost died that day.
I’m now back at school after surviving the drive back up here. I’m dog-sitting for Teresa Tucker and her dog Daive is sleeping over. Yep, I’m having a girl sleep in my bed tonight. She is a dog and her name is Daive and that is really neither here nor there. Daive and I have been hanging out all day, listening to some hardcore and Beatles, and watching movies. We’re watching Jackass right now. Daive was digging the tunes earlier. Tonight, Chase, Donna, and I went to Chipley to eat at the Waffle House. We stopped at McDonalds for shakes afterward and we also stopped so we could use the restroom before making the long twelve-mile trip back to G’ville. While we were in there, Chase was thinking out loud I suppose and said, “I don’t think we’re alone”. Of course there was a guy in the stall next to us. Like I said, we were there to get shakes and I was buying them, so I asked Chase, “What size do you want?” (referring to the shake). Chase remarked something like “Oh my…” Anyway, we left and realized the guy in the stall probably thought we were gay. Out in the lobby, the rest of the employees and that guy were whispering and talking about us, it was really funny. I laughed at them. It didn’t bother me that they thought I was gay. I knew I was coming home to a girl in my bed. That’s it for the past few days, still more fun to come on Spring Break 2003!
“The sun is up, the sky is blue. It's beautiful and so are you.” Dear Prudence by The Beatles from the White Album.
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
Mid Way Through Spring Break
Coming home is fun, sort of. I enjoy my folks, I love them, and I thank God that He gave me to them. However, much like all other people who have this newfound adulthood, I don't always like them my folks a whole lot. I'm grateful for them, but I get exasperated by them sometimes as well. If any of you guys have been reading this site for a while, you will know that anytime I go home, I almost always have something to rant about. Well, not too much this time. Do you believe that? Yeah, to my surprise as well. It's been a good break thus far. Yet, I don't credit this pleasantness with luck, chance, or coincidence. It's taken a lot of planning and I've got this visiting thing down to a science. Here's a little secret. The shorter time you stay for a visit, the better the visit.
The past few days I've been running around the busy streets of Melbourne. Not a lot of action, but still good. I've made some cool purchases over the past few days. Nothing elegant, but cool. I'll update you on my shopping habits as soon as I get back to school. Speaking of getting back to school, I will be taking that drive tomorrow. I'm a slacker at everything. Tonight, the result of my slacking is the fact that my car is almost empty. Which means, I need to go do that. I hope to see or talk to you all later. Pray for me as I drive. Pray for our country too. With songs of love and heartache...
"Wake up, jumped out my bed. Hung in a 2 man cell wit my homie Lil 1/2 Dead. Murder was the case that they gave me. Dear God, I wonder can you save me? I'm only 18, so I'm a young buck. It's a ride, if I don't scrap, I'm getting stuck. But that's the life of a G, I guess... It ain't nuttin like the street life. Betta be strapped wit yo clip, cuz ain't no fist fight. So I guess I gots ta handle mine. Since I did the crime, I gots ta do my time." Lil Ghetto Boy by Dr. Dre from the album, The Chronic.
Saturday, March 22, 2003
Saturday, 1:00 AM, Seven Hours Of Riding From The Original G'ville
So, I made it. *Cheers* I had so much junk to do this afternoon that I didn't acutally leave until around 5 PM. Then about two hours into the trip, I had to stop and take a nap at a rest stop because I was falling asleep. But, I've made it. It looks to be a fun filled few days with the folks. I hope all is well with all of you. Thanks Linsey for visiting the site while you're at your home. Good night from my hometown...
So, I made it. *Cheers* I had so much junk to do this afternoon that I didn't acutally leave until around 5 PM. Then about two hours into the trip, I had to stop and take a nap at a rest stop because I was falling asleep. But, I've made it. It looks to be a fun filled few days with the folks. I hope all is well with all of you. Thanks Linsey for visiting the site while you're at your home. Good night from my hometown...
Friday, March 21, 2003
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
For The Record, I Support The War
So, once again, it's my time to write something meaningful. That can sometimes cause a conflict of interest though. Sometimes, I've purposely written things on here so people will read them and become infuriated at what I said. Other times, I've just said things with no real intentions and people got upset. Who knows? Not I. I don't aim to please in my writing. Yet, I always strive to be better and over time evolve into what God would want me to be and want out of me. Thank God for his constancy, I’m surely good at infidelity.
Many things have been happening in my life. I've been earning more debt on Ebay trying to find Beatles vinyl. I've won some all ready and I'll be sure to keep you up to date (like you care). Did you guys watch the Presidential address last night? I thought it was a phenomenal speech and whomever wrote it, the speechwriter or President Bush himself, there was a lot of emotion, heart, truth, and a certain level of realness to it. I say, go USA!
Happenings in the realm of randomness: Relevancy is something that I always try to convey. I write what I want, but I always wish for someone to get something out of it. In these late hours of morning, I often contemplate my greatest of thoughts. Shallowness and egocentrism seem to fade when I’m alone in solace. While I have to be in class in five hours, nothing seems more relevant than trying to figure out today’s meaning to end the days activities. Today contains no such relevancy.
On a lighter note, today in my mental disorders psychology class, we were talking about the sensation that is bedwetting. At some point, we were all expressing our ideas and opinions and it sounded as if we were debating the direct unpleasant incidents of the bubonic plague or something. Seriously, we were rambling off on a tangent and it was getting annoying. Just in case anyone was wondering, there are no bedwetting epidemics going on in our country as far as I know. However, me being the ever jolly one, at an attempt to share humor with the class, I patted my roommate on the shoulder and assured the class that we were going to get his bedwetting 'problem' taken care of and everything was going to be "alright". Some people laughed anyway... Now, I will cry, for my alarm goes off very soon. God speed…
"When you tried to build me up with the wrong words, all it did was kill me. And when you said you trust in all that I feel, I never quite believed you. And when you tried to help me out by telling me how we should be, I disagreed." The Juliana Theory, "Do You Believe Me?", from the album Love.
So, once again, it's my time to write something meaningful. That can sometimes cause a conflict of interest though. Sometimes, I've purposely written things on here so people will read them and become infuriated at what I said. Other times, I've just said things with no real intentions and people got upset. Who knows? Not I. I don't aim to please in my writing. Yet, I always strive to be better and over time evolve into what God would want me to be and want out of me. Thank God for his constancy, I’m surely good at infidelity.
Many things have been happening in my life. I've been earning more debt on Ebay trying to find Beatles vinyl. I've won some all ready and I'll be sure to keep you up to date (like you care). Did you guys watch the Presidential address last night? I thought it was a phenomenal speech and whomever wrote it, the speechwriter or President Bush himself, there was a lot of emotion, heart, truth, and a certain level of realness to it. I say, go USA!
Happenings in the realm of randomness: Relevancy is something that I always try to convey. I write what I want, but I always wish for someone to get something out of it. In these late hours of morning, I often contemplate my greatest of thoughts. Shallowness and egocentrism seem to fade when I’m alone in solace. While I have to be in class in five hours, nothing seems more relevant than trying to figure out today’s meaning to end the days activities. Today contains no such relevancy.
On a lighter note, today in my mental disorders psychology class, we were talking about the sensation that is bedwetting. At some point, we were all expressing our ideas and opinions and it sounded as if we were debating the direct unpleasant incidents of the bubonic plague or something. Seriously, we were rambling off on a tangent and it was getting annoying. Just in case anyone was wondering, there are no bedwetting epidemics going on in our country as far as I know. However, me being the ever jolly one, at an attempt to share humor with the class, I patted my roommate on the shoulder and assured the class that we were going to get his bedwetting 'problem' taken care of and everything was going to be "alright". Some people laughed anyway... Now, I will cry, for my alarm goes off very soon. God speed…
"When you tried to build me up with the wrong words, all it did was kill me. And when you said you trust in all that I feel, I never quite believed you. And when you tried to help me out by telling me how we should be, I disagreed." The Juliana Theory, "Do You Believe Me?", from the album Love.
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
Church Bulletins
You wear a sign
That says, “I’m fine”
You wear your clothes so proud
Only to be left on that cloud
Congratulations today!
I hope you get an A
Presentations of the heart
You look so smart
I feel so blue
Why can’t you see what’s true?
Put yourself on Billboards more
Why do I feel like such a whore?
You’re done and almost gone
Here I am left on my own
You’re eyes like flames, oh so bright
Just fly away, leaving me out of sight
You wear a sign
That says, “I’m fine”
You wear your clothes so proud
Only to be left on that cloud
Congratulations today!
I hope you get an A
Presentations of the heart
You look so smart
I feel so blue
Why can’t you see what’s true?
Put yourself on Billboards more
Why do I feel like such a whore?
You’re done and almost gone
Here I am left on my own
You’re eyes like flames, oh so bright
Just fly away, leaving me out of sight
Saturday, March 15, 2003
Don't You Hate It When People Don't Return Your Property
The weekend is supposed to be a refresher from the week, right? How come the weekend seems to do nothing but complicate life more? I've watched a lot of movies thus far in the weekend. Some have been with friends. Some have been alone. Either way, no one knew what I was thinking then. And just as I'm being vague know, no one knows what I'm being vague about. Tonight in California, the Facedown Festival is going on. There is a small little band from Arizona playing. They are called Overcome (R.I.P.). While this band is no longer together, their music had a huge impact on my life. Their second release, When Beauty Dies was my first Christian hardcore CD, namely my first anything hardcore. Tonight, there playing a reunion show at the Facedown Festival. Oh, how I'm longing to be in California...
The weekend is supposed to be a refresher from the week, right? How come the weekend seems to do nothing but complicate life more? I've watched a lot of movies thus far in the weekend. Some have been with friends. Some have been alone. Either way, no one knew what I was thinking then. And just as I'm being vague know, no one knows what I'm being vague about. Tonight in California, the Facedown Festival is going on. There is a small little band from Arizona playing. They are called Overcome (R.I.P.). While this band is no longer together, their music had a huge impact on my life. Their second release, When Beauty Dies was my first Christian hardcore CD, namely my first anything hardcore. Tonight, there playing a reunion show at the Facedown Festival. Oh, how I'm longing to be in California...
Friday, March 14, 2003
About A Girl
Once upon a time, there was this girl named Debbie. She ran a website called, His Beautiful Eyes Inside My Silly Head. She somehow mixed journal entries, quotes, thoughts, poetry, and life into each individual post. An amazing writer! An awesome person! And at this point in my day, she is my favorite person in the whole wide world. She did one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Guess? She wrote me a poem! Can you believe it? How rad is that? It's only because she is wonderful and sweet and encompasses all the things a lady is supposed to be. I am honored and appreciative. Please go read her site and reflect on why I am glowing. Thanks so much Debbie!
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." -Unknown
Once upon a time, there was this girl named Debbie. She ran a website called, His Beautiful Eyes Inside My Silly Head. She somehow mixed journal entries, quotes, thoughts, poetry, and life into each individual post. An amazing writer! An awesome person! And at this point in my day, she is my favorite person in the whole wide world. She did one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Guess? She wrote me a poem! Can you believe it? How rad is that? It's only because she is wonderful and sweet and encompasses all the things a lady is supposed to be. I am honored and appreciative. Please go read her site and reflect on why I am glowing. Thanks so much Debbie!
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." -Unknown
My Reformation Day
Days pass me by
So many, so fast
It’s hard to see them
For what they really are
I would like to live
Each day, by day
So much so
I’d never take any for granted
I look at the passing traffic
Sitting at my desk
I look at my life
Passing me by
I’d like to change--
The things that happen
It seems all the more I try
To get out of the rut
The stress never seems to loosen up
Why does life do that
To me and everyone else
Who pulls the strings beneath?
Perhaps all will tell
Maybe it will all fade
Who knows, who cares
Deceasing the unwanted
Feelings aside when needed
I’ve grown to like this
Being alone is never missed
Days pass me by
So many, so fast
It’s hard to see them
For what they really are
I would like to live
Each day, by day
So much so
I’d never take any for granted
I look at the passing traffic
Sitting at my desk
I look at my life
Passing me by
I’d like to change--
The things that happen
It seems all the more I try
To get out of the rut
The stress never seems to loosen up
Why does life do that
To me and everyone else
Who pulls the strings beneath?
Perhaps all will tell
Maybe it will all fade
Who knows, who cares
Deceasing the unwanted
Feelings aside when needed
I’ve grown to like this
Being alone is never missed
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
The Greatest, err… My Top 27 Favorite Beatles Songs of All Time
Yes, it’s time. Time for what you may ask? For the unveiling of something new for To Whom It May Concern. In light of the semi-recent release (2000) of The Beatles 1 record, Chase and I devoted countless hours and compiled our own list of our favorite Beatles tunes (27 in all). We hope to inspire others to do the same and make a list of their own in dedication to the greatest band of all time. We also hope to be doing this again soon with other mutual music favorites. Until then, please enjoy and download some of these songs. I think it’s fine that some people don’t necessarily like the Beatles. But, please realize and recognize their innovations, influences, and sheer astonishing ability to make great rock ‘n’ roll…
The Top 27 Favorites of Jeff Watkins
27. Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)
26. Two Of Us
25. Till There Was You
24. The Fool On The Hill
23. You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away
22. Happiness Is A Warm Gun
21. All You Need Is Love
20. I’m Only Sleeping
19. Revolution
18. While My Guitar Gently Weeps
17. She Loves You
16. For No One
15. A Day In The Life
14. The Long And Winding Road
13. Here Comes The Sun
12. Help
11. We Can Work It Out
10. Let It Be
9. Something
8. Because
7. Dear Prudence
6. And I Love Her
5. If I Fell
4. Eleanor Rigby
3. Across The Universe
2. Here, There And Everywhere
And my number one favorite Beatles song of all time:
1. Yesterday
Also, make sure to visit Eye Level to see Chase’s favorites.
Yes, it’s time. Time for what you may ask? For the unveiling of something new for To Whom It May Concern. In light of the semi-recent release (2000) of The Beatles 1 record, Chase and I devoted countless hours and compiled our own list of our favorite Beatles tunes (27 in all). We hope to inspire others to do the same and make a list of their own in dedication to the greatest band of all time. We also hope to be doing this again soon with other mutual music favorites. Until then, please enjoy and download some of these songs. I think it’s fine that some people don’t necessarily like the Beatles. But, please realize and recognize their innovations, influences, and sheer astonishing ability to make great rock ‘n’ roll…
The Top 27 Favorites of Jeff Watkins
27. Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)
26. Two Of Us
25. Till There Was You
24. The Fool On The Hill
23. You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away
22. Happiness Is A Warm Gun
21. All You Need Is Love
20. I’m Only Sleeping
19. Revolution
18. While My Guitar Gently Weeps
17. She Loves You
16. For No One
15. A Day In The Life
14. The Long And Winding Road
13. Here Comes The Sun
12. Help
11. We Can Work It Out
10. Let It Be
9. Something
8. Because
7. Dear Prudence
6. And I Love Her
5. If I Fell
4. Eleanor Rigby
3. Across The Universe
2. Here, There And Everywhere
And my number one favorite Beatles song of all time:
1. Yesterday
Also, make sure to visit Eye Level to see Chase’s favorites.
Monday, March 10, 2003
I feel beat down.
I'm back and white as ever. I've been thinking and I've come to a conclusion: There are no bad days only bad people. Today was amazing, but how would I know? I'm evil. I got everything in the world to feel good about, but I feel defeated. I feel beat down. I went to apply for a job this afternoon. Job applications make me feel like I've gotten nowhere in life. I can barely put together a list of references, I don't have the kind of skills or experience that fit well into the little boxes on applications,and i've only ever had one job. Why? Because I'm a doomed failure? Maybe, but its not as though I haven't tried. They used to say that's what matters. Maybe I should sell myself. I believe in God's provision but I also feel a deep sense of urgency and responsibility to plan ahead. The future is expensive. There's a powerful little lady named Sally Mae who I owe a total of about 10,000 dollars. She has her fist clinched tightly around my throat. No wonder I have asthma. Sometimes I just wish she would smother me with a pillow. Get it over with, you know? Right now, I'm residing here in the computer lab attempting to catch up on mounds of work I'm behind on. That's the usual tale of woe from me, but the pathetic part is I'm actually working my butt off this semester. I don't mind working like this for the rest of my life, I just want to get caught up.
Gone til Tuesday.
I'm back and white as ever. I've been thinking and I've come to a conclusion: There are no bad days only bad people. Today was amazing, but how would I know? I'm evil. I got everything in the world to feel good about, but I feel defeated. I feel beat down. I went to apply for a job this afternoon. Job applications make me feel like I've gotten nowhere in life. I can barely put together a list of references, I don't have the kind of skills or experience that fit well into the little boxes on applications,and i've only ever had one job. Why? Because I'm a doomed failure? Maybe, but its not as though I haven't tried. They used to say that's what matters. Maybe I should sell myself. I believe in God's provision but I also feel a deep sense of urgency and responsibility to plan ahead. The future is expensive. There's a powerful little lady named Sally Mae who I owe a total of about 10,000 dollars. She has her fist clinched tightly around my throat. No wonder I have asthma. Sometimes I just wish she would smother me with a pillow. Get it over with, you know? Right now, I'm residing here in the computer lab attempting to catch up on mounds of work I'm behind on. That's the usual tale of woe from me, but the pathetic part is I'm actually working my butt off this semester. I don't mind working like this for the rest of my life, I just want to get caught up.
Gone til Tuesday.
Yes I'm Still Up
I've got to get up for class in three hours. I've updated the site a tad. I added some new links and added some new blogs, so please visit them because they are our friends. Just as you are our friend. My bed is fixing to be my best friend...
Currently Playing: The Beatles- "White Album"
I've got to get up for class in three hours. I've updated the site a tad. I added some new links and added some new blogs, so please visit them because they are our friends. Just as you are our friend. My bed is fixing to be my best friend...
Currently Playing: The Beatles- "White Album"
You Remind Me Of A Secret I Was Never Supposed To Tell
They say Friday night is the loneliest night of the week. Oh, contra! Saturday and Sunday night are lonely as well. This weekend has been a fair one, but I've enjoyed it even more because my roommate has been in Jacksonville visiting his fiancé. So, I've been in solace. I like to be alone a lot more when I have the place to myself. When my roommate is here, I like to be away because I can never get peace and quiet. Friday night, I didn't do anything but go to sleep early. Saturday night, Sean Tanner and I had the pleasurable experience of having dinner cooked for us by Kristen Crews. Then we went back to his place and watched Sweet Home Alabama. Yes, make fun; I don't know why I wanted to watch it either. There's even more of a reason to laugh now, it's the second time I've seen it. Be prepared all you Beatles fans. At some point this week, Chase and I will be posting our own Top 27 favorite Beatles tunes. That's it for now. Signing off from G'ville...
"If I fell in love with you. Would you promise to be true and help me to understand? Because I've been in love before and I've found that love was more than just holding hands..." If I Fell by Beatles
They say Friday night is the loneliest night of the week. Oh, contra! Saturday and Sunday night are lonely as well. This weekend has been a fair one, but I've enjoyed it even more because my roommate has been in Jacksonville visiting his fiancé. So, I've been in solace. I like to be alone a lot more when I have the place to myself. When my roommate is here, I like to be away because I can never get peace and quiet. Friday night, I didn't do anything but go to sleep early. Saturday night, Sean Tanner and I had the pleasurable experience of having dinner cooked for us by Kristen Crews. Then we went back to his place and watched Sweet Home Alabama. Yes, make fun; I don't know why I wanted to watch it either. There's even more of a reason to laugh now, it's the second time I've seen it. Be prepared all you Beatles fans. At some point this week, Chase and I will be posting our own Top 27 favorite Beatles tunes. That's it for now. Signing off from G'ville...
"If I fell in love with you. Would you promise to be true and help me to understand? Because I've been in love before and I've found that love was more than just holding hands..." If I Fell by Beatles
Saturday, March 08, 2003
The Musings of a Misspent Youth
Being young was so much fun
All I had to was go to school and not get beat down
In 8th grade, coming home in the afternoon
Watching Saved By The Bell and looking for something too much on
The times that meant so much to me
Are all vague memories
The times that were filled with joy
Are fleeting fast and I can't seem to get a grasp
My science book is open, but my mind is closed
Eyes fixed on the TV—Oh... don't worry about folding clothes
These are the days that I will remember
And I don't ever want to let them go
The times that meant so much to me
Are all vague memories
The times that were filled with joy
Are fleeting fast and I can't seem to get a grasp
(Bridge)
Thinking about 1995
I really wish for the same old time
No objectives, no goals, doing whatever, whenever
If I do my homework, good... if not, there's always tomorrow
The times that meant so much to me
Are all vague memories
The times that were filled with joy
Are fleeting fast and I can't seem to get a grasp
Being young was so much fun
All I had to was go to school and not get beat down
In 8th grade, coming home in the afternoon
Watching Saved By The Bell and looking for something too much on
The times that meant so much to me
Are all vague memories
The times that were filled with joy
Are fleeting fast and I can't seem to get a grasp
My science book is open, but my mind is closed
Eyes fixed on the TV—Oh... don't worry about folding clothes
These are the days that I will remember
And I don't ever want to let them go
The times that meant so much to me
Are all vague memories
The times that were filled with joy
Are fleeting fast and I can't seem to get a grasp
(Bridge)
Thinking about 1995
I really wish for the same old time
No objectives, no goals, doing whatever, whenever
If I do my homework, good... if not, there's always tomorrow
The times that meant so much to me
Are all vague memories
The times that were filled with joy
Are fleeting fast and I can't seem to get a grasp
Thursday, March 06, 2003
Let’s See If I Can Get Out Of This One
First off, I owe Kathy an apology. I am sorry. She might not care or ever read the site again, but I owe her a confession of my wrongdoing, and that is what I’m doing. I did not intend for the post to be taken in the manner it was, but nevertheless, I did do a jerky thing. I took a late night conversation on AIM and made a post out of it. While this isn’t necessarily a bad idea, the person whom I was speaking about in the post (Kathy) knew the context in which we had originally talked earlier in the evening. Then she came here and had to read a new conversation, which had a new context all to its own, about our previous conversation. But, this time it sounded a lot more negative. Rightfully so, she got upset. Like I said, I realize it was wrong to post it and I’m sorry. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t think she was going to read it and that is why I did it (just being a typical stupid guy who didn’t think). They say honesty is the always the best policy. So, here we go…
The title of the post is a poor attempt to make a humorous jab at my life. I often get into trouble for opening my mouth. Yet, this time it was for writing. I do apologize for the approach I took in posting an unclear conversation. However, I will not apologize for what I wrote—the thoughts and opinions I have, which is what I believe. Here’s a detailed version of what my thoughts are, in context.
In life, when it comes down to it, everything you like or dislike, all boils down to one thing: preferences. Variety—the spice of life. People in western civilization tend to be a bit greedy. We want what’s right for ourselves and assert the necessity to find the things that make us feel good. Well, in trying to avoid this whole relativistic idea, I argue that when you speak about things such as God, family, and a spouse, there are certain absolutes. I believe that the God of the Bible is the one true God and his son Jesus Christ, is the way, the truth, and the life because the Bible says so. That is an absolute, not because I said it, but because God said it. Well, I’d also like to think that when I talk about girls, I’m referring to an inevitable one that I will eventually marry. I only plan on getting married once, so I’m going to be pretty darn picky about who I marry. Moreover, what type of girl I look for in a potential spouse. After all, I’ve got to spend my life with her. Or do we forget that “until death do us part” thing? Now Justin argues, “…My friends don’t even have the same tastes as I do. So how could I expect the girl to?” Well, I don’t have to live with my friends forever. Nor do I have to love them as a husband should love his wife. You see, I don’t want some girl who is attractive now and who can tolerate me. If that’s the point, shoot… I’ll be fine just God and me. I want a girl who means so much to me, that without her, I’m incomplete. By all means, I will be willing to accept my wife for her flaws because she will certainly be accepting me for mine (I have many). So, you can bet I’ll particular about the one I choose.
Now, I know no one is saying to me, don’t be particular. But, I do think everyone is throwing around the word superficial way too easily. I will admit it, I am superficial and yes I even have my moments of trendyness. Who doesn’t? I am Not going to say if you like top 40 music and shop at the Gap, you do not have a good grip on reality. Sure, I question your motives and I question the motives of my friends and people I talk to; I even question my own. It does not mean that I don’t like you or think that you are stupid, I’m just trying to make sure that you know why you do the things you do. People do it to me all the time and I have to constantly defend my ideas and reasons for not shopping at the Gap or why I despise mainstream radio. I could get my doctorate in being Independent and write a 200 pages dissertation on why I have these ideologies. But really, I’m not doing or thinking anything new, so, I guess I’m being trendy. Who cares?
Ok, now onto the problem with that silly post. The point I was making in my conversation with Amber Marie was here is an attractive girl who so far likes(ed) talking to me. She’s very attractive, but yet, I don’t understand or agree with her preferences in music or fashion. I’m sorry that I implied she was interested in me. She was not! Amber knew that I was saying. Yes, I was stereotyping and putting her into one category of girls. But, I did this to prove a point. That point being, these attractive girls who are into me, I’m typically not in to, for these various reasons (Abercrombie, Timberlake, and trendyness) and I was giving an example of a girl who, at the time, enjoyed talking to me. When I listed things like, I want a girl who enjoys getting cards from me and talking to me about carrots, I didn’t mean these were substantial demands. These are things I desire from a girl; I wasn’t trying to show that these are tenants for a possible relationship. They are expressions of love and simplicity. When it comes down to it, I just want to be loved. I have things I demand for a possible spouse. Contrary to popular belief, where she shops or what her musical preferences are is not the criteria. For the record, I don’t date a girl unless she is or does the following:
1. Is a Godly woman, or at best, a Christian.
2. We have mutually all the same beliefs
3. A virgin (Not a demand, but a desire, I'm picky)
4. Want to work with youth; enjoys working with youth.
5-12 Are characteristics: funny, smart, selfless, honest, encouraging, biblical, slow to anger and things like easy to talk to, etc...
And the last thing would be to like or stand punk rock. Because it’s not fun listening to something all the time if you don’t like it and I happen to consume a lot of it and want a girl who can sing along too (more for humor).
Like I said, those are the qualities I look for in girls. I think it’s applicable to say that I don’t particularly go after girls with Gap bags on their arms as some guys would want to go after a girl who is easy to talk to. What’s the difference? Well nothing, really. I think those elements “to go after” are things of equal superficiality. Of course when something involves what a person likes as opposed to who a person is, it becomes slathered with superficiality. Some might even say shallow. But really, they are still pretences of preferences. They still relate to superficiality because they are not concrete things you want and believe you need in a spouse. Take a look at the word Superficial:
SU-PER-FI-CIAL Adj.
1. Of, affecting, or being on or near the surface: a superficial wound.
2. Concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; shallow.
3. Apparent rather than actual or substantial: a superficial resemblance.
4. Trivial; insignificant: made only a few superficial changes in the manuscript.
Like I said, that conversation was a taken-out-of-context rant on AIM and not an inventory of what my wife should or should not be. Basically, the things I would prefer in her. The things I listed above are the important things. When it comes down to it, everything I love about her should stem from who she is, what kind of person she is, and who she is in Christ. Anything else is a minor threat. The reason I don’t shop at those stores, listen to that music, or like trendy things is because it’s a choice I have made. All in all, I don’t even want a girl who would just agree with me on everything. It would be nice to just have a girl who understood me. That’s really it. She can shop wherever she wants and listen to whatever she wants. She should just know, respect, and understand why I don’t do it. I would do the same for her and I have. Again, I am sorry for where I’m wrong. If you disagree, that’s fine. If you agree, that’s ok too. Just know the reasons why you think things and be ready to defend them. But, never be so closed minded that you don’t hear someone’s argument. That’s a tool to understanding people. It also causes a realization within you. Before you change the world, you have to be willing to change yourself…
“Well, who cares if we’re apart for the big days. It’s the small ones that made me fall in love with you.” The Only Gift That I Need by Dashboard Confessional
First off, I owe Kathy an apology. I am sorry. She might not care or ever read the site again, but I owe her a confession of my wrongdoing, and that is what I’m doing. I did not intend for the post to be taken in the manner it was, but nevertheless, I did do a jerky thing. I took a late night conversation on AIM and made a post out of it. While this isn’t necessarily a bad idea, the person whom I was speaking about in the post (Kathy) knew the context in which we had originally talked earlier in the evening. Then she came here and had to read a new conversation, which had a new context all to its own, about our previous conversation. But, this time it sounded a lot more negative. Rightfully so, she got upset. Like I said, I realize it was wrong to post it and I’m sorry. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t think she was going to read it and that is why I did it (just being a typical stupid guy who didn’t think). They say honesty is the always the best policy. So, here we go…
The title of the post is a poor attempt to make a humorous jab at my life. I often get into trouble for opening my mouth. Yet, this time it was for writing. I do apologize for the approach I took in posting an unclear conversation. However, I will not apologize for what I wrote—the thoughts and opinions I have, which is what I believe. Here’s a detailed version of what my thoughts are, in context.
In life, when it comes down to it, everything you like or dislike, all boils down to one thing: preferences. Variety—the spice of life. People in western civilization tend to be a bit greedy. We want what’s right for ourselves and assert the necessity to find the things that make us feel good. Well, in trying to avoid this whole relativistic idea, I argue that when you speak about things such as God, family, and a spouse, there are certain absolutes. I believe that the God of the Bible is the one true God and his son Jesus Christ, is the way, the truth, and the life because the Bible says so. That is an absolute, not because I said it, but because God said it. Well, I’d also like to think that when I talk about girls, I’m referring to an inevitable one that I will eventually marry. I only plan on getting married once, so I’m going to be pretty darn picky about who I marry. Moreover, what type of girl I look for in a potential spouse. After all, I’ve got to spend my life with her. Or do we forget that “until death do us part” thing? Now Justin argues, “…My friends don’t even have the same tastes as I do. So how could I expect the girl to?” Well, I don’t have to live with my friends forever. Nor do I have to love them as a husband should love his wife. You see, I don’t want some girl who is attractive now and who can tolerate me. If that’s the point, shoot… I’ll be fine just God and me. I want a girl who means so much to me, that without her, I’m incomplete. By all means, I will be willing to accept my wife for her flaws because she will certainly be accepting me for mine (I have many). So, you can bet I’ll particular about the one I choose.
Now, I know no one is saying to me, don’t be particular. But, I do think everyone is throwing around the word superficial way too easily. I will admit it, I am superficial and yes I even have my moments of trendyness. Who doesn’t? I am Not going to say if you like top 40 music and shop at the Gap, you do not have a good grip on reality. Sure, I question your motives and I question the motives of my friends and people I talk to; I even question my own. It does not mean that I don’t like you or think that you are stupid, I’m just trying to make sure that you know why you do the things you do. People do it to me all the time and I have to constantly defend my ideas and reasons for not shopping at the Gap or why I despise mainstream radio. I could get my doctorate in being Independent and write a 200 pages dissertation on why I have these ideologies. But really, I’m not doing or thinking anything new, so, I guess I’m being trendy. Who cares?
Ok, now onto the problem with that silly post. The point I was making in my conversation with Amber Marie was here is an attractive girl who so far likes(ed) talking to me. She’s very attractive, but yet, I don’t understand or agree with her preferences in music or fashion. I’m sorry that I implied she was interested in me. She was not! Amber knew that I was saying. Yes, I was stereotyping and putting her into one category of girls. But, I did this to prove a point. That point being, these attractive girls who are into me, I’m typically not in to, for these various reasons (Abercrombie, Timberlake, and trendyness) and I was giving an example of a girl who, at the time, enjoyed talking to me. When I listed things like, I want a girl who enjoys getting cards from me and talking to me about carrots, I didn’t mean these were substantial demands. These are things I desire from a girl; I wasn’t trying to show that these are tenants for a possible relationship. They are expressions of love and simplicity. When it comes down to it, I just want to be loved. I have things I demand for a possible spouse. Contrary to popular belief, where she shops or what her musical preferences are is not the criteria. For the record, I don’t date a girl unless she is or does the following:
1. Is a Godly woman, or at best, a Christian.
2. We have mutually all the same beliefs
3. A virgin (Not a demand, but a desire, I'm picky)
4. Want to work with youth; enjoys working with youth.
5-12 Are characteristics: funny, smart, selfless, honest, encouraging, biblical, slow to anger and things like easy to talk to, etc...
And the last thing would be to like or stand punk rock. Because it’s not fun listening to something all the time if you don’t like it and I happen to consume a lot of it and want a girl who can sing along too (more for humor).
Like I said, those are the qualities I look for in girls. I think it’s applicable to say that I don’t particularly go after girls with Gap bags on their arms as some guys would want to go after a girl who is easy to talk to. What’s the difference? Well nothing, really. I think those elements “to go after” are things of equal superficiality. Of course when something involves what a person likes as opposed to who a person is, it becomes slathered with superficiality. Some might even say shallow. But really, they are still pretences of preferences. They still relate to superficiality because they are not concrete things you want and believe you need in a spouse. Take a look at the word Superficial:
SU-PER-FI-CIAL Adj.
1. Of, affecting, or being on or near the surface: a superficial wound.
2. Concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; shallow.
3. Apparent rather than actual or substantial: a superficial resemblance.
4. Trivial; insignificant: made only a few superficial changes in the manuscript.
Like I said, that conversation was a taken-out-of-context rant on AIM and not an inventory of what my wife should or should not be. Basically, the things I would prefer in her. The things I listed above are the important things. When it comes down to it, everything I love about her should stem from who she is, what kind of person she is, and who she is in Christ. Anything else is a minor threat. The reason I don’t shop at those stores, listen to that music, or like trendy things is because it’s a choice I have made. All in all, I don’t even want a girl who would just agree with me on everything. It would be nice to just have a girl who understood me. That’s really it. She can shop wherever she wants and listen to whatever she wants. She should just know, respect, and understand why I don’t do it. I would do the same for her and I have. Again, I am sorry for where I’m wrong. If you disagree, that’s fine. If you agree, that’s ok too. Just know the reasons why you think things and be ready to defend them. But, never be so closed minded that you don’t hear someone’s argument. That’s a tool to understanding people. It also causes a realization within you. Before you change the world, you have to be willing to change yourself…
“Well, who cares if we’re apart for the big days. It’s the small ones that made me fall in love with you.” The Only Gift That I Need by Dashboard Confessional
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
Late Nights on the ol’ AIM
Tonight, a newly acquired friendship with a special girl named Amber Marie was just the medicine I needed. Amber is Jeremy Cook’s cousin. And while she and I have only known each other for a few months, we have become quite the tight little pair of homiez. Anyway, we were talking about past relationships and things and it struck up a chord within me. I showed her a picture of a girl who is kind of into me or something. Anyway, I was telling her why I’m not into girls like this paticular one. Basically, what I look for in a girl. Here’s the converstion:
JeffyJeffW: the girl all the way to the left with the white shirt one
JeffyJeffW: on*
XloveliesmurderX: aww she’s cute
JeffyJeffW: And while, she's attractive... she shops at abercrombie, likes justin timberlake's solo career, and gets mad at me because I abhor trendyness
JeffyJeffW: she thinks it's cool
XloveliesmurderX: haha
JeffyJeffW: these are the characteristics that annoy me about girls
XloveliesmurderX: i concur
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl to know why the Beatles are the best band; what made them so influential
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl who can appreciate every poem i write about her
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl to love my singing
XloveliesmurderX: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl who likes getting cards from me
XloveliesmurderX: yehhh that’s cute
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl who i could have a conversation about carrots with
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl who wants to work with youth
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl who's not affarid to do what she wants, because she wants to do it
XloveliesmurderX: you should copy and save these things
JeffyJeffW: for what
JeffyJeffW: there in my head :-)
XloveliesmurderX: because sometimes you lose sight
XloveliesmurderX: and you start takin anythin
JeffyJeffW: me
JeffyJeffW: or people
JeffyJeffW: i agree... and i have
JeffyJeffW: but i'm so determined now, i think
XloveliesmurderX: haha good stay that way
There was a point to this, but now I’m not sure. I’m just fed up with girls, dating, and the perpetual hope of finding this love-thing…
Tonight, a newly acquired friendship with a special girl named Amber Marie was just the medicine I needed. Amber is Jeremy Cook’s cousin. And while she and I have only known each other for a few months, we have become quite the tight little pair of homiez. Anyway, we were talking about past relationships and things and it struck up a chord within me. I showed her a picture of a girl who is kind of into me or something. Anyway, I was telling her why I’m not into girls like this paticular one. Basically, what I look for in a girl. Here’s the converstion:
JeffyJeffW: the girl all the way to the left with the white shirt one
JeffyJeffW: on*
XloveliesmurderX: aww she’s cute
JeffyJeffW: And while, she's attractive... she shops at abercrombie, likes justin timberlake's solo career, and gets mad at me because I abhor trendyness
JeffyJeffW: she thinks it's cool
XloveliesmurderX: haha
JeffyJeffW: these are the characteristics that annoy me about girls
XloveliesmurderX: i concur
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl to know why the Beatles are the best band; what made them so influential
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl who can appreciate every poem i write about her
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl to love my singing
XloveliesmurderX: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl who likes getting cards from me
XloveliesmurderX: yehhh that’s cute
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl who i could have a conversation about carrots with
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl who wants to work with youth
JeffyJeffW: i want a girl who's not affarid to do what she wants, because she wants to do it
XloveliesmurderX: you should copy and save these things
JeffyJeffW: for what
JeffyJeffW: there in my head :-)
XloveliesmurderX: because sometimes you lose sight
XloveliesmurderX: and you start takin anythin
JeffyJeffW: me
JeffyJeffW: or people
JeffyJeffW: i agree... and i have
JeffyJeffW: but i'm so determined now, i think
XloveliesmurderX: haha good stay that way
There was a point to this, but now I’m not sure. I’m just fed up with girls, dating, and the perpetual hope of finding this love-thing…
Sunday, March 02, 2003
In All Dishonesty
Deception is one form of truth
Only when you tamper with the proof
Dissention with a friend
Leads me to understand-
You are the most beautiful thing
I would have to lie
Just to make it through the night
Only if you’re by my side
Will it keep me alive
To believe that I could die
Without saying goodbye
And to tell you that I don’t love you
Would be the greatest lie
But for you, I would say anything-
In all dishonesty
It’s hard to believe in things so unreal
Like understanding the way that you feel
Placing trust in the unseen takes faith
I’m just living by seeing your face-
So far it seems to be working
If I had wings like a bird
I could fly high up in the sky
To see everything so clear
It’s kind of like when you’re near
To believe that I could die
Without saying goodbye
And to tell you that I don’t love you
Would be the greatest lie
But for you, I would say anything-
In all dishonesty
Deception is one form of truth
Only when you tamper with the proof
Dissention with a friend
Leads me to understand-
You are the most beautiful thing
I would have to lie
Just to make it through the night
Only if you’re by my side
Will it keep me alive
To believe that I could die
Without saying goodbye
And to tell you that I don’t love you
Would be the greatest lie
But for you, I would say anything-
In all dishonesty
It’s hard to believe in things so unreal
Like understanding the way that you feel
Placing trust in the unseen takes faith
I’m just living by seeing your face-
So far it seems to be working
If I had wings like a bird
I could fly high up in the sky
To see everything so clear
It’s kind of like when you’re near
To believe that I could die
Without saying goodbye
And to tell you that I don’t love you
Would be the greatest lie
But for you, I would say anything-
In all dishonesty
Saturday, March 01, 2003
Nyquil Chaser
So, I'm sick... We're watching a patch of grass grow today at 3:30 PM CST. I feel like a kid on rainy Saturday when there is nothing to do. I mean, yeah I'm an adult. I have some money, I have a car, and I could go find something to do. But, when you’re sick, your energy and effort level just flops. Last night I went to bed around 11:00 P.M. and I didn't get up until ten or twelve hours later. I went by Mike Sutton's place to see what he was up to. We grabbed a bite to eat at Burger King and swung by the local Goodwill. I found a very old and worn copy of War and Peace. Not that I'm opposed to reading it, just don't know that I ever will. I think the main reason I bought it was for the sheer novelty of having it and possibly one day reading it. Good times so far. I think later I will be posting my favorite song that I've ever written. Stay tuned for that...
"If I only had an ocean to compliment the sky. I'd pull it down and paint it for you and I'd never question why. Cause 'red would mean you loved me' and 'blue would mean you cared' but black my heart when left alone to cold and killing stairs." The Sound by Further Seems Forever from How To Start A Fire.
So, I'm sick... We're watching a patch of grass grow today at 3:30 PM CST. I feel like a kid on rainy Saturday when there is nothing to do. I mean, yeah I'm an adult. I have some money, I have a car, and I could go find something to do. But, when you’re sick, your energy and effort level just flops. Last night I went to bed around 11:00 P.M. and I didn't get up until ten or twelve hours later. I went by Mike Sutton's place to see what he was up to. We grabbed a bite to eat at Burger King and swung by the local Goodwill. I found a very old and worn copy of War and Peace. Not that I'm opposed to reading it, just don't know that I ever will. I think the main reason I bought it was for the sheer novelty of having it and possibly one day reading it. Good times so far. I think later I will be posting my favorite song that I've ever written. Stay tuned for that...
"If I only had an ocean to compliment the sky. I'd pull it down and paint it for you and I'd never question why. Cause 'red would mean you loved me' and 'blue would mean you cared' but black my heart when left alone to cold and killing stairs." The Sound by Further Seems Forever from How To Start A Fire.
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