I Found Sean

So, all day long I’ve been running around with this childish notation in my head to remember to post about how lonesomeness passes and how companionship is still an unavoidable, redeeming companion. Last night, after about thirty minutes of sulking, I drove around to ‘the hood’ to which I noticed my friend’s light on. You are correct, yes I found Sean Tanner. He was home and I convinced him to take a trip with me to Krystal’s. We got to talk a lot, which was cool, and it was a good time to be alive. I learned a lot about myself last night—not really, but it sounded good. In other non-related news, I got an email from another friend today. It read:

“I have something to admit to you. I have a new best friend. He's taken your
place. It happened quite by accident. I was actually calling for you,
but he kept picking up the phone and we just started talking and it went from there. Yup it's true, you've been replaced. By none other than your ANSWERING MACHINE. I mean, I talk to it more then I talk to you...you should have seen it coming...you could have read the signs. Yup we're really good friends now, because I talk to that STUPID THING EVERY TIME I CALL YOU...”

Haha, Bethany Dunlap replyed with that to an email that I had written her this morning. I laughed really hard, but at first I was like what!?!? We're both really busy people, but who isn't? Ok, I’m going to go. Just wanted to share my life with you…

It's Hard To Find A Friend

I hear the pitter-patter of sorrow calling and I cannot prevent it. It's late and I want to go get some Krystal’s because I'm hungry, but nobody is up or wants to go. Have you ever noticed that the most insignificant things, which are meaningless, seem as important as the travesties that hinder us and come at the most inoperable times. How silly is that? Of course they do not equal in severity, but they cause you equal amounts of tension and questioning. It makes you wonder if you'll ever be able to find that one person for you. That no matter how late, what's going on, if you just needed to talk, get Krystal’s, or just take a ride, they would be there fore you. >>Sigh<< I wait in angst for mine...

"Loneliness is bliss" -Arthur

What Piaget Didn’t Know

You want to be rewarded
For the things you do
But, what’s left for you?
Nothing more than your bitter emptiness

Why try to accomplish all
When you can’t understand
Receiving salvation for nothing
Is that the point to it all?

Conceiving the underestimated
Contradicting mindless ideas
Of scorns of people
Who’ve derived from mental capability

Workings with no faith are dead
Yes, we see the need
To sustain our beliefs
Among these working fields

There you go again
Trying ever so hard
Being something more than you need
What fake and plastic accomplishments

I’m not bragging so
Do I have it figured out?
Never anything more than this
Seeing through my own shallowness

This I think I know
That I care
More and more
I’m losing my painful feelings

Moving on from those
Summer’s love, winter’s chill
Fasting to see it through
Yet, I’m still wasting away

The time on the dial
Looks so good to me
It’s almost over now
Feelings aside all so soon

This pen of my life’s ink
Is slowly drying dim
So as our friendship
Is causing the end

Yes, this one’s for you…

This Time Last Year

Technically, this post was supposed to happen last night, but due to the hatred my computer has for me, it was postponed until this evening. This time last year, I had some different feelings than I do today. Isn't the craziness of life surreal at times? In seventy-something days, I will be graduating from college. It's all starting to come together. Tonight, I did something that I haven't done in a long time. It was probably a Friday night much like this, ten years ago or so the last time I did this. I went to a place called The Playground. But, that's not the significant piece of information. There, I went and did it—yes, I went roller-skating. Don't blame me I was forced into it. Tonight, Scott, Richard, Amber Marie, Wes, Kristen, Lindsey, Tyler, Jenna, and myself went there to seek out some adventure and excitement. Kristen lent me her skates, so I didn't have to pay for em’. We know a nice guy named Ashley Miller who works there and he hooked us up with some discounts on skates, laser tag, and free tokens. All in all it was fun. I had to prove to myself that I could still rock and roll it out there on the rink. And while I only fell once, my pride was restored once more in my abilities. Trust me, I used to be so good at skating. I did it all the time and tonight I was rusty, but it went well. Afterwards, we went to Krispy Kreme, had some doughnuts and sang loud songs. Fun and tiring all together, imagine that? As my closure for this post, I'm going to post an entry from my journal. This entry was from his time last year. It was what my heart was feeling at the time when I was reading and trying to apply the Word of God to my life. I got to get up early for a conference, take care, good night, and God bless:

February 21, 2002 @ 1:29 A.M.

Matthew 7:7-12--Ask, Seek Knock...

It seems so simple, yet I totally set my own boundaries in my life. I don’t think about who I'm living for or what I'm going to school for. This disheartens me to no end. I try to do what's right and I don't I even have the right motivation in that. Most of the time, I have no motive at all. So, what shall I do or say? Ask, seek, and knock. It seems so simple, yet it feels like trigonometry. God help me to understand your sovereign grace and your atonement. Help me to understand all the things that cause my life stress and heartaches. Thank you for working your will in my life and waiting on me to make the right choice. I love you and praise you and give you the glory in that. Amen.

The Gospel of Porn?

This isn’t the hardcore mom’s like. Before you pick up any stones, feel free to read this post:

Last semester, I too, was doing research at the FSU campus library. It was for my Psychology of Religion class. My paper was on the media and what effects is has on society. Another student, Toby Rohiem was doing the same topic as I. In doing research, he found this site that was described as, "The # 1 Christian Pornography Site." With an obviously audacious statement such as that, controversy was destined to be an intricate ingredient.

As it turns out, the site is run by some pastors, whom, not like many other ministries, are seeking out to specifically and explicitly inform people about the dangers of pornography. They’re finally shedding some light to the deception behind it and how it can be detrimental to your job, family-life, and even life itself.

Recently, I was visiting the site to see what the guys were up to. Mike Foster and Craig Gross (site owners) had just returned from a weekend conference of sorts. Not your typical retreat here. They had set up a booth and attended the annual Adult Expo in Las Vegas, Nevada. This seems a tad bit controversial to me at first glance, but after reading the article, I was intrigued at their sincerity and willingness to help people who struggle with something I myself was once a slave to.

“It was very weird to be having a church service in the midst of darkness...but God showed up and blessed us all,” says the article.

Also:
"...many attended looking for porn and left with a Bible and were added to our prayer list. It seemed so out of place-the ‘Bible’ that is mixed in with porn videos and magazines, yet that simple book can offer so much more than all of those other things. Trust us, the cover of our Bibles did not match up to the other covers in that place, but that Bible is the seed that was planted in 1,000 peoples lives-we pray for the harvest! People wanted that book because deep down inside they know that everything else they put in their bag would just be a temporary fix and afterwards they would still be searching. May they search no longer and may they meet the One who will satisfy their every desire, this is our hope and our prayer."

To some, this site may be a great outreach for people who are submerged into the realms of pornography and who are losing a seemingly endless battle to pornographic material and the lust of the flesh. Rather, others see this site exemplifying questionability and being very litigious. I see these Christians doing more ministry-orientated work for this porn issue and the people who have fallen prey to this suffering, than any church or ministry than I’ve seen in a long while. God bless XXX Church and their ministry...

The article is here.

To Whom It May Concern Goes On Location, pt. 2
Three months ago Jeff paid a visit to the FSU library. Today I am here. Walking into the room I knew that they knew I wasn't just another Seminole. They knew I was one of those guys from the To Whom crew. They knew where I was coming from, and they knew they best beware. Believe me I could tell. Passing each table students dropped jaws, pens and books. My presence was a distraction, but I could not be blamed. I was being careful to observe the no talking rule, but the library guy came up and said that I was allowed to talk. He escorted me to a computer to work at, then asked if he could oblige me with any refreshment. I asked for a soda, a bagel and a cold towel to wipe my brow, I've had a fever lately.

Okay, so most of that was a lie. I am in the FSU library and I do have a fever, but to be quite honest I feel slightly out of place. My shirt reads, "My hair is this color because I ate paint chips as a child." Anyone who read it probably thinks of me as a high school punk. This is a centre of learning. Sure, it is also the home of the Criminoles, but many here are working toward their masters.

These people are motionless. My eyes wander around the room and no one repositions. The only moving people are walking to a computer or work table where they will become stagnate. I guess when so much is going on in the brain they'res just not strength for physical excertion.

I'm going to get back to work now, tell the kids I said "hi."

Singleness Is Bliss

The plague of this couple-ridden weekend has finally drawn to a close. And yes, I too, much like Justin (Highlander) have endured. I sit in my room alone still. Won't this ever end? While I'm working on my homework for computer class, I contemplate my relationships of old. I don't usually do much soul-searching regarding my past love(s) because frankly, I think I’ve been the one who has messed them all up. Of course, there were equal crimes committed by both, her(s) and I, but I still wonder about them. Yes, I have been the one to break up with a girlfriend before or decided a girl and I shouldn't seek a relationship anymore, but besides that, I know they weren't my entire fault. Right? Of course not! It is impossible for one person to simply be the reasoning for any failures that his or her love life has ever seen. Yet, these are the same thoughts that have kept me up many nights before. But, really, why do we go around and spend time dwelling on who was right or wrong? Most of the time, all we’re really doing is seeking to find only one answer to a certain question. What the heck happened? That's the key question to anyone who has ever had a failed relationship. I'll expound on mine later if need be, but the source to all my bent up hostilities and bitterness goes far back, beyond anything you could imagine.

You see, the story about my relationships goes all the way back to the nice mature age of three. I was in preschool at Harbor City Baptist Church in my hometown of Melbourne, Florida. It was there that I had my first physical experience with the opposite sex. Her name was uh...well...ugh...I don't remember her name. Can you blame me? It was almost twenty years ago. Anyway, I remember trying to convince this young lady (and I do mean young) to kiss me in the bathroom. If you remember the old church buildings that had the bathrooms that you could open from both sides, like there were two entrances. Well, it was my clever and sly scheme to have her go in one side of the bathroom and I would go into the other classroom and go in through that door. Then, we would meet in the middle and enjoy a few seconds of kissing pleasure (I swear this was going through my mind). Ok, maybe not all of the detail, but I really did try to make this happen. Yes, even children are depraved. As time and age would allow it, the girl didn't want to have any part of it. She just wanted to be friends. This was the foundation of my life and the beginning to my journey through this crazy thing called love and as it would be, numerous failed relationships.

Now, I cannot even begin to start and explain all of my relationships past and present. But, I can begin by telling you what I've learned about the opposite sex. While all of that was mere humor into the perspective of my love life, I simplify my thoughts back to the days of my post-terrible two's. I didn't get that girl then and I my date book isn't necessarily any fuller these days. What it comes down to is this: I didn’t understand that girl then and certainly don't understand women now. For example: some girls at my school wore black on Valentine’s Day. While I found some of it funny, other parts annoyed me [some girls] in particular. I know what you’re thinking and yes I was wearing black too. But, why should I have to change my color-coordinating preferences because some girls want to humorously protest the 'love-day'? If you are single, that doesn't signify anything. It just means you are not currently in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex. It certainty doesn't constitute you being considered a dork, unsuccessful, nerdy, or some other witty junior high euphemism. You make a day like Valentine’s Day mean what you want it to. If you want to act like you are a failure because you don't have a significant other, then so be it. But, you are just as successful of a person with or without a relationship. Its just plain nonsense to see it any other way. I thought we found our confidence in Christ? Not in feeling all lovey-dovey one day a year. That's why I had a problem with those girls at my school. Anyway, as it would be, I still don't understand the ladies.

Like I said previously, I've felt insecure in my past relationships. Like I've caused them to fail. Inevitable, it was just one of the unexplainable occurrences of life. Whether it wasn't God's will, I messed up, she messed up, it was by chance, our free agency, predestination, who knows? All I do know is that it ended and caused me to do one of four things: 1.Get sad. 2. Get mad. 3. Cry. 4. Write a poem. All in all, I'd say the average results weren't too bad. They still ended and I can't explain that. I'm sure it's like that for everyone, but at this point in my life, I'd like some explanations. Maybe all I'm looking for is closure? Maybe I'm just trying to find an excuse to rethink and rehash old flames that were extinguished long ago? I don’t know.

Nevertheless, I voyage on to find the 'one for me' or whatever ideal I have been brainwashed into believing. You know, I don't know if there is one special person for me or if there are several gals out there who would be a perfect match. I don't know anything. The older I get and the more educated I get, the more I realize that there is so much more to learn and I don't really know that much. Thus, I feel dumber. I think that is the key to becoming an adult. And for a Christian, realizing that you cannot do anything outside of yourself and you must rely and be totally dependent upon God for everything. Whether your job, your love, or you finances. That’s the focal point of Christianity and at the least, adulthood. The thing I now have to come to grips with in my life is realizing how inconsequential all those other things are. Passed relationships, failed or successful are still, in the past. We should remember history, but never let it sit as the center of attention for too long, that you might dwell on it. Learn and let go. Regrets don't do any good because you cannot change the things that have already been done. Learn, live, and let go.

I know, this is a really long post and you're waiting for the conclusion or the point; something significant to take with you. Sorry folks, there are no earth-shattering revelations in this one. It stands a mystery to me, as do some other aspects of life. All I know is, until I seek the Lord fully and until I am most ultimately fulfilled in him, I won't be able to understand life or grasp the mystery that is the opposite sex, known simply to us all as the woman.

(I know, it's long, but I put my heart into it)

"Whether truth is stronger than either wine, the king, or woman." From Commentary on the Ethics of Aristotle by Thomas Aquinas

Help! I Need Sombody!

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Hanging Out With Slippery Pete

Wasn't today beautiful? As I’m sitting here listening to some Frank Sinatra, I’m thinking today was a good day. It felt like a nice late spring/early summer afternoon. I had planned to get up early and work on some stuff for my computer class, but that went awry when I kept resetting my alarm. I eventually got up and moseyed over to the computer lab. I worked on what I could, but I didn't get finished and I still have some more junk to do for my class. My buddy, Sean Tanner was in there working on some stuff too, so after the lab closed we decided to go grab a bite to eat in Dothan. We visited our local dirt mall, Sadie's Flea Market. What a great place! I picked up a couple of comics for one dollar and they turned out both equaling about seven dollars in value together. Then, we headed over to the record table to see To Whom's... good friend, Slippery Pete. Now, this is not the guy's real name. He actually said his real name today, but for the life of me I cannot remember it. Anyway, he is a real interesting fellow who owns a lot of vinyl and talks a lot of crap. He didn't have much of what I was looking for today (no Reba McEntire, sheesh). But, it was a pleasure to talk to him as always. He only managed to offend me once today. Apparently, he misunderstood my question. I asked him if he knew a guy from Bonifay, Florida who ran a website that sold vinyl. Pete then proceeded to go into a frantic and abrasive ten-minute explanation of why he didn't deal or sell over the internet. Never the less, I figured he just didn't know the guy. Then we headed over to the Goodwill and I got an En Vogue single (on vinyl) which features a cover of the Beatle’s song, Yesterday and a copy of Christian History magazine which features an article on the medieval theologian, Thomas Aquinas. Then, Sean and I got some grub at the local IHOP. On the ride back, we reflected on the beauty of a day at the flea market and a tasty meal at your local IHOP. Life is good...

"We destroyed the government. We're destroying time. No more problems on the way. I'm through doctor. We don't need your kind. The other ones, ugly ones, stupid boys, wrong ones. I'm all alone, so are we all. We're all clones; all are one and one are all." Clones (We're All) by Alice Cooper, from the album, Flush The Fashion.

Alone With Others

Unaccompanied on Valentine’s Day
This appears to be the only way

While I live on my own
Independent of everyone; my life is a construction zone

I wait out and live through--milliseconds of days pass
So many more, I sigh, alas

How long do I have to wait?
Finding that I get to do nothing but perpetually hate

Forever evolving into a new creature
Striving to live daily and follow my teacher

Examples set and quickly forgotten; living fake
Day to day wandering through this endless pit of heartache

My wish for now on this too, lone star, is clear
To have a love that I can share with somebody here

Dual and equally given, these emotions grow new
Thoughts and feelings everyday, beautifully about you

Occupied with friends, while I myself, watch couples walk by
All alone on this scared night, I bow my head and start to cry

Anecdotal Aspirations

People have been asking me what I'm doing for Valentine's Day and I say, "Nothing out of the normal; wearing black like every other day of the week." Last night when I was in Wal-Mart, the alarm went off as I was walking out of the automated doors. I got kind of embarrassed, just because the entire store looked at me. Mind you, I had not stolen anything. Most of the time, the sales associate, mistakenly forgets to scan something to prevent that. That was exactly what happened to me. You know, that happens a lot and I'm thinking, maybe they should be teaching the sales associates how to do it a little better.

It's officially the day before the consecrated and righteous day of love and I'm reflecting on my life. It's kind of a short reflection, much like my temper has been today. I've been really sarcastic and cynical the past few hours. The stress of twenty-one hours and a bad encounter with a friend have ruined my smile today, but no worries, I will endure. I enjoyed a pleasant evening with a nice friend by the name of Melissa Mann. She'll be a mommy soon, so I would appreciate you guys remembering her and little Nathaniel Edward in your prayers.

Friday, my roommate will be driving to Jacksonville to see his finance' and that will be fun. I’m not going and that’s why it will be fun; because I’ll be completely and utterly alone. It's been a long time coming and I will enjoy some much needed rest, peace, and solace. Being alone is fun, especially on the one day a year you're not supposed to want to be alone. Which is really some idiotic principle or value we've been brainwashed into believing. As for my heart and I, we will throw caution into the wind and not make any definite plans. I'm just going to go with what I think is the best activity for the day. Last year, I was all alone, reading and studying for classes the next day. This year, the next day is a Saturday, so I will not be able to make that excuse. Hey, it's ok if I'm all alone eating a heart-shaped box of assorted chocolates. That's doesn't mean my life doesn't have meaning! Ok, kids, I'm losing consciousness. Take care...

"At times I'm timid like a mouse. But I think it's rad that she digs the Waffle House..."

Valentine by The Get Up Kids from Something To Write Home About

It's words you forget to anniversary songs
Bottles bite back your tolerance wrong
Your good intentions count for little anymore
If you're sorry why wage war?
Not fully convinced
Something wrong with this
Could another point of view
Biased and untrue
Tear me away from you

Will you be my valentine?
If i'm a world away
Apologies are breaking me
The constants aren't so constant anymore

Two days i wait for calls to come through
Tonight for me translates yesterday to you
You bend and you wave
You're barely away
I wish i could say tonight
That when you bend and wave goodbye
You'd take me with you

Will you be my valentine?
If i'm a world away
Apologies are breaking me
The constants aren't so constant anymore

Will you be my?
(valentine)
Will you be my?
(valentine)
If i'm a world away
(from a world away)
If i'm a world away
(from a world away)
The constants aren't so constant anymore.

Monday, Tuesday, Happy Days

Actually, to best some up today, that should have read, Monday, Tuesday, skip all but one class day. Yes, that's right, I am a slacker. I have a good excuse, I stayed up until 4 AM posting items on Ebay. So, if you're not too busy, please stop by my auctions and maybe bid on some basketball figures, blank cd-r's, or comics. I mean, after all, I have to pay the rent:

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I had my first test for History 212 today, Western Civilization. It was kind of tough, but with a high enough curve, I hope to do well on it. So, how does everyone like the new template? I will admit it took some getting used to. I guess that's why I haven't posted in a few days. But, I haven't seen this template anywhere recently, so that will hopefully set To Whom It May Concern apart a little farther than we already are (or get back people like Scott who hate our site). I'm not saying we are great, but this is pretty unique (of course I would think so). This is the week of love (as Justin would say) and while I have no one to love but God, I will try to stay chipper. Perhaps, I might wear black on this coming sacred Friday. Some may say, "See, Jeff, you're giving in. That's what they would expect you to do. Give into the singleness. Exploit yourself in the shame of a holiday that you cannot celebrate." And I would say in reply, "Hey! What's the big deal? I wear black everyday."

Pictures, stars, and dreams...

Your Words Are Better Than Mine

Ripping pages from this stupid journal
Ripping the joy that’s left in my life
I do this to myself

I’ve been reading your letter for days
Trying to find meaning in your subject headings
All my life is blank and void

We used to try so hard
A constant struggle for what we’ve known
Now all that’s left is constant

These are the nights that last so long
I guess I’ve never learned the value of,
“Please come, it will be fun”

They tell us misery loves company
I don’t see the point in despairing
But, I give in just to appease your staring

Imaginations that manifest into reality
Seeing our footprints that are walking in opposite directions
If we fall along the way, let’s not forget the memories

These words could be more than “awkward conversations”
The “awkwardness towards each other” doesn’t have to last
This pain of loss can “lead to hurt” and “avoiding each other”

Yet, it all surfaces and ache doesn’t relinquish
You’re just a girl and I’m just a boy
Confused and trying to find a mutual haven

My anthem is, “I’m trying”
These are the nights that end in,
“I’ve let you down and I’m sorry”

Biblicist, Communism, and Forgiveness

The title above is the result(s) of the current day. As I sit and contemplate life’s wonders, I’m reminded of nobility. The need for dignity in your own moral fiber and your ability to let your character present itself without, objection, word, or bias. That’s what truthful conscience is. I made a mix CD for my friend Teresa Tucker today. And thus was the outcome:

Some Songs Worth Driving For
(This order is somewhat correct)

1. Intro- “Reckless” From: Transformers Sound Bite
2. Billy Joel- “Piano Man” From: The Essential Billy Joel
3. Squad Five 0- “I Don’t Want To Change The World,
I Just Want To Change The Mind” From: Self-Titled
4. Blindside- “Pitiful”- From: Silence
5. Simon and Garfunkel- “Sound of Silence” From: Bridge Over Troubled Water
6. Ace Troubleshooter- “Misconceptions” From: S/T
7. Stretch Arm Strong- “Express Yourself” (NWA Cover) From: To Legit For The Pit
8. Pedro The Lion- “Big Trucks” From: It’s Hard To Find A Friend
9. Ramones- “Sheena Is A Punk Rocker” From: Rocket To Russia
10. AnBerlin- “Driving” (Demo) From: Blueprints For The Black Market
11. Saves The Day- “Freakish” From: Stay What You Are
12. KJ 52- “Dear Slim” From: Collaborations
13. Unknown- “Amazing Grace” From: Bagpipes and Punk
14. Taking Back Sunday- “You’re So Last Summer” From: Tell All Your Friends
15. Dashboard Confessional- “Living In Your Letters” From: Summer’s Kiss EP
16. Stavesacre- “Island” From: S/T
17. Pink Floyd- “Wish You Were Here” From: Wish You Were Here
18. The Ataris- “Giving Up On Love” From: End Is Forever
19. Aloha- “Protest Song” From: Sugar
20. MxPx- “My Mistake” From: Ten Years and Running
21. The Get Up Kids- “Close To Home” From: Something To Write Home About
22. Death Cab For Cutie- “Sleep Spent” From: Something About Airplanes
23. The Beatles- “Here, There, and Everywhere” From: Revolver

...It’s still Thursday if you haven't gone to sleep yet. No matter what the clock or calendar says...

Power Lloyd
I wanted to be Power Lloyd. I was going to change my AIM screen name to that this afternoon, but of course it was taken. I tried it with and without a space too, and I don't feel like adding a number to it. Unless there is a significance to the number adding one to the end of a desired screen name seems to say, "Hey, I'm unoriginal!" Of course, we all are. I realize we here at To Whom have talked about getting this place a face lift for a good while now. Uh, I hope we mean it this time. I will be rigging up some of my favorite music links, as well as links for a few film sites, just like our ringmaster told you. As far as me not blogging, I haven't been a very dedicated blogger anywhere in a month. But, I declare to you Febrero is going to be a different story. Besides, despite popular opinion I haven't been the worst "slacker" this site has ever seen. There are those of us out there, *cough, cough*, who have been signed up for months but haven't written the first stinking post. Besides, the word slacker doesn't fit past times and hobbies. That's like saying, "Oh, I haven't played monopoly all week. I'm such a slacker!"

One last thing:
As you may have recognized Power Lloyd is a Say Anything reference. Anyway, remember the scene where he stood at her window holding a boom box over his head? The song, "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel played. Can you imagine if by mistake instead of that song say another one played? Say, he turns the radio on, twists the volume up and with bass and all you hear the words, "I like big butts and I cannot lie." Then we would have a completely different movie, maybe it would have been called, Run That By Me Again.

Goodnight Ghetto Boys and Girls,

Dat's Just Da Life of A Hoodlum

My day starts so early on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays and goes so long. I have classes at 8:00 AM, 9:00 AM, 11:30 AM, 12:30 PM and 4:00 PM. Plus, that's when my direct study meets too. However, my Tuesday's consist of one class from 2:30-5:30 PM and I don't have any classes on Thursday. Yeah, so I stay up late and well, it's all the more fun to stay up when everyone else has to get up at 7:00 AM and you don't have to. I finished reading a book the other day. It's by John Piper, What's The Difference: Manhood and Womanhood Defined According To The Bible. And, while I probably don't agree with all the guy's theology or even all of his ideas on marriage, I think he wrote a fair piece of words on the subject of what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman. Also, very biblically based methodologies and ideals for marriage. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed it because it taught me a thing or twelve. But, just in case you were wondering. Guys, I'm sorry, you won't be able to say, "I've figured out women" after reading the book. It's a short, 91-page essay with a lot of good principles. You should check it out. Well, it's late and I've got many more hours to kill (maybe I should try sleeping)...

"I gave her my heart. She gave me a pen."

Lessons In Counseling

The cool breeze of winter’s nip is leaving
I’m still hot in my sweeter, what’s the meaning?

I always seem to be out looking on the bad
To never know anything other than being sad

Sitting down, conversing with a friend
You walk by me, but show nothing (not even a grin)

I feel some sentiments that I’ve felt before
Like the old days, things I was willing to die for

But, now I feel older, even a bit brighter
If you would have smiled, I could have felt much lighter

Then I distort; become annoyed and numb
Nevertheless, I found out the truth and now I feel dumb

How selfish of me to not see
Miseries of your own that cause you to leave

Hating life for a moment, regretting so much
When I see you, I smile, but nothing else (not even a touch)

I’ve told you so many times
I’ve written you so many lines

You have been made, created, by the fearfully divine
You’re not stupid; you don’t live drunken off wine

But, you doubt, even your life
I know the feelings of living with your own strife

Like a fool, I look back to check the clock
Not to flirt, not to smile, just to talk

However, the time allows for no such smile
Maybe later we can talk for a while

I know there is nothing I can say or do
Most of the time you thank me for just listening to you

Well, I say, “that’s what friends are for”
Truly plagued by my ideals in store

Just know I care; the love I have is deep
If you need to climb that hill, I’ll help no matter how steep

It's A Sad Day

Just a few short hours ago, the space shuttle Columbia blew up. I don't know all the details. From Yahoo:

"CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - Space shuttle Columbia broke apart in flames 200,000 feet over Texas on Saturday, killing all seven astronauts just minutes before they were to glide to a landing in Florida..."

You will be missed!