Happy Thanksgiving 2003

I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday. If you are at work, school, or home with your family, think about all the things you yourself have to be grateful for. Eat lot's of turkey and my personal favorite, pumpkin pie.

Love

The Staff of To Whom It May Concern

Rockin' It Like It's 1996

Well, I'm home for the rest of this week and a few days next week visiting with my family. I made the seemingly endless drive to Melbourne from Graceville on Sunday. I stopped by Tallahassee to see my Aunt Martie. She took me out to lunch, so that was nice. As I was looking for a gas station around Jacksonville, I stopped by Best Buy to pick up a copy of Let It Be...Naked. I had some Best Buy Bucks from the McDonalds Monopoly game. With the coupons, the CD was like $2.50. I could get used to paying that! Anyway, I continued on to Melbourne and made it home around 9:30 PM.

On Monday, I did some various things for my Mom and Dad. I took my Grandma grocery shopping and then cleaned out the gutters on her outside porch. While up on the roof, I got eaten up by mosquitoes. I must have like 50 little bumps on me. I looked diseased. I hope I don't get malaria. Also, since I've been home, I hooked up the factory tape player back in my car. I'm running the tape converter to my little portable CD player. My CD player died in April and I've been struggling with the lack of music ever since. At least now, music will play over my speakers. It'll be fine until I can get enough money to afford my baby.

Tomorrow, I'm taking my Grandma shopping at Wal-Mart. I'll be pushing her around in a wheel chair. Hopefully, there won't be too many psychos running around pre-turkey time. Before that though, I'm having lunch with my friend Annie. That'll also be a good time. I've been renting the 4th season of The Sopranos Amazingly Amazing! Fuh-get-a-bout-it!

I hope everyone is enjoying these times of felling all holidaian (I just made that up). Be safe. I go sleep for now...

Wishing For Some Other Day

Today it seemed better
It was different, but okay
Not necessarily good
Not quite the same
Just enough tranquility to make it through the day

We once wrote a story
Both of our hands contributing
Inscribing so that we might live
And possibly find love
Neither of these are we now pursuing

Together it was more than a wish
We talked about what truth is
Now that I finally have it
I kind of would like to deny it
So maybe this pain in my stomach will go away

At one time I thought we could be
I held on tightly to that dream
It’s just that the casualties of life
Have been outnumbered by the victories of death
Here I am, still sitting alone, wondering what went wrong

It seems like a lot of my relationships
End up being desecrated
What’s worse is that I blamed myself
For stupid girls who couldn’t decide
They played me until it was the right time

Of course I share equal guiltiness
It’s just that I should have been smarter than this
A heart that used to love anyone
Has now been hardened and avoids talks of bliss
That’s all I have left to explain this emptiness

It's Never Too Cold For Flip Flops

A notable site I would like to bring your attention to:

The Flat Earth Society home page.

Deprogramming the masses since 1547

Who could have guessed that Christopher Columbus was wrong?

Blah Beatles This, Blah Beatles That

I think I'm getting sick. That's not fun. On Tuesday, Let It Be... Naked was released. It's basically what The Beatles wanted Let It Be (1970) to sound like when they started recording it in early 1969. However, due to internal strife, it was mostly worked on by each Beatle individually with producer Phil Spector and that is why it turned out the way it did. It started off as a back-to-basics record. Ended up as a break-up album (they were pretty much through already). The release of this album let's us get into the lives of the fab four. I'm excited, I'm getting a copy this weekend. Anyway, I made a 2 disc 'best of' for Jessica and here was my approach. To show the significance through the growth in song writing and recording, thus attempting to put the tunes in order; not chronologically, but when they were recorded. Starting with early stuff and culminating with Abbey Road (thus the need to list more tracks off of that than any other album):

1. I'll Be On My Way- Live At The B.B.C.
2. Please Please Me- Please Please Me
3. Love Me Do- Please Please Me
4. It Won't Be Long- With The Beatles
5. All My Loving- With The Beatles
6. From Me To You- The Beatles 1
7. She Loves You- The Beatles 1
8. I Want To Hold Your Hand- The Beatles 1
9. This Boy- Past Masters, Vol 1
10. A Hard Day's Night- A Hard Day's Night
11. If I Fell- A Hard Day's
12. And I Love Her- A Hard Day's Night
13. Can't Buy Me Love- A Hard Day's Night
14. I Feel Fine- The Beatles 1
15. No Reply- Beatles For Sale
16. I'm A Loser- Beatles For Sale
17. Eight Days A Week- Beatles For Sale
18. Help!- Help!
19. You've Got To Hide Your Love Away- Help!
20. Ticket To Ride- Help!
21. Yesterday- Help!
22. Day Tripper- The Beatles 1
23. We Can Work It Out- The Beatles 1
24. Drive My Car- Rubber Soul
25. Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)- Rubber Soul
26. Nowhere Man- Rubber Soul
27. Michelle- Rubber Soul
28. In My Life- Rubber Soul
29. Paperback Writer- The Beatles 1
30. Eleanor Rigby- Revolver
31. Here, There and Everywhere- Revolver
32. Yellow Submarine- Revolver
33. For No One- Revolver

1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely...
2. With A Little Help From My Friends- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely...
3. Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely...
4. A Day In The Life- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
5. Hello Goodbye- Magical Mystery Tour
6. Strawberry Fields Forever- Magical Mystery Tour
7. All You Need Is Love- Magical Mystery Tour
8. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da- The Beatles [White Album]
9. While My Guitar Gently Weeps- The Beatles [White Album]
10. Hey Jude- The Beatles 1
11. Revolution- Past Masters, Vol 2
12. All Across The Universe- Let It Be
13. Let It Be- Let It Be
14. The Long And Winding Road- Let It Be
15. Come Together- Abbey Road
16. Something- Abbey Road
17. You Never Give Me Your Money- Abbey Road
18. Sun King- Abbey Road
19. Mean Mr. Mustard- Abbey Road
20. Polythene Pam- Abbey Road
21. She Came In Through The Bathroom Window- Abbey Road
22. Golden Slumbers- Abbey Road
23. Carry That Weight- Abbey Road
24. The End- Abbey Road

Kinda Like A Pawn Shop

I was going to do manual temp labor today, but I can't sleep. There is no way I could get up and go do hard labor for 8 hours with no sleep. As you know, I'm in a state of financial burden as we speak. I'm not asking for a handout, but what I am asking for is for you to please buy my crap. Christmas is coming up and I have some items that may be of interest to you or your loved ones. If you like something, have questions, wanna bargain, please email me. I will send via mail, UPS, if you live within a few hours, I'll drive it to you, however. Email me with questions

12 volumes (Gen-Rev) of The Expositor's Bible Commentary edited by Frank E. Gaebelein (the 2nd newest edition). For the most part, the year's all match (the spine and design look the same for 8 or so; 4 are different editions--all yellow dj). Some have a little wear, some are perfect (never been read). Most look new. I bought eight for $10 each, and the other four I paid between $15-$25 for). CBD's has them the cheapest. They have the newest edition (12 Vols) complete for $274.99. If you wanted to buy the edition I have, you would pay $108.94 (1-7 Old Testament) and $119.99 (8-12 New Testament) (Total $289.98). I would like to ask for $150 for all 12, but I'm willing to accept reasonable offers (I'm poor, not stupid).

APC BE350U Back-UP ES series 350VA (200 watts) Surge Protector. I got this for Christmas last year. It's still in the box, shrink wrapped, never been used. I would like to ask between $40-$50 for it.

Look at the books I have for sale on Amazon-->. If you want to buy one cheaper than listed, I probably will sell it to you cheaper.

I have a 40 comics: bunch of # 1's, cheap, interested, email me!

I have 15 NBA Superstars (like Starting Lineups) Basketball figures!

Really, like, if you want some of my writing (poems, articles, papers, etc) I'll make you a book and it will be really big and I'll get it bound. Anything to make $5-10. Ha, if you buy some of my writing, I'll write you a poem!

As you can see, I'm pretty desperate. If you are looking for something rare (records, tapes, movies, etc) or used TVs, CDs, whatever. I might just have it (because I'm a pack rat) or I could find it for you. Please, just help make some money....

A Hard Day's Fight

Last night, Rich, Jessica, and I watched some random parts of the American Music Awards. Some of it was annoying and some of it was funny. At one point, the members of Chevelle made a joke like, "Those of you in the cheap seats up there, clap your hands. And those of you in the expensive seats, rattle your jewelry." I thought that was really funny and I laughed pretty hard. But, it kind of sounded familiar to me, like I had heard it before. Later on that night, I was taking a Beatles quiz online and I realized that it was John Lennon who actually said, "Those of you in the cheaper seats, clap your hands. And the rest of you just rattle your jewelry" at the Royal Command Performance in 1963. The guys in Chevelle didn't quote him quite right, but at least the picked a semi-decent musical figure to quote.

By clicking here you can take the quiz(zes) for yourself.

A Sunday Afternoon's Stuff

I'm sitting here, still in my pajama pants, trying to figure out all the stuff I've got to do today. I'm scraping together money to pay my gas bill, which isn't really that important. But, I have to keep it turned on to live here, thus the need to pay the bill. I need to go to Chipley to pay it, but my car is low on gas and I'm low on money. Maybe Mike is going and I can bum a ride from him?

Have you ever read something someone wrote? Something like, I wonder if he is thinking of me or if only he knew I was thinking about him? And, that person is the person you've been thinking about. Now you are wondering if you and that person were thinking about each other? Happened to me today.

My checking account is overdrawn something fierce now. I've got to make some money just to get it back over to the positive. Plus, I need an oil change and some gas money to drive home in two weeks for Thanksgiving. It looks like I'll be doing some temp manual labor this week. If you wanna donate, I would appreciate...

I think that is it. My breath stinks...


Saint Gereon is praying for you! To learn more
about this Roman martyr go to the Patron Saint
Index at http://www.catholic-forum.com


Which Saint Would You Be?
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"Think you caught me on the downslide, downturn. I was busy writing with a pen and paper. Thin dream. And all your plastic people with plastic hearts and smiles. They had the worst intentions all along, after all." Death Cab For Cutie, Pictures In An Exhibtion, from Something About Airplanes.

The Scariest Things

There is a house
It’s not like the rest
Something for everyone
People say it’s the best

It’s up on a hill
More like a tiny mound of fill
Using every resource they can obtain
To make it seem bigger than the pain

I hear their words
Their sighs are seen
As in the cold breeze
Forging what they mean

Differences shape that space
A lawn that seems replaced
Dirt for nothing and some grass
Piloting over my own stubborn ass

Because you cannot take a camel
Into the city air
It’s that same old feeling
You’ve doubted to share

The darkness lurks throughout this place
Life never seeming to embrace
Things that live and the people whom grow
All of it for nothing, just trophies to show

Mistakes are constantly made
Blackness covers all of its color
You wonder who would live in this dire place
It’s me, there is no other

God Teaches Jeff Something New

Lesson # 3,653,487

So, I had that interview today at Ramsay Youth Services. I went not expecting much. I thought I had reason too. God, however, had bigger plans for me. I did get the job as a Mental Health Technician. At first, it’ll only be a part-time and on call job, but I'll still get 32 hours usually. Then, when something comes available, I will have the opportunity to get something full-time because they hire from within first. So, it's a really good day for me and my debt. I don't actually start until December 8th because I have to do orientation first and that’s the nearest date in which they do orientation. So, I rejoice now because God is faithful, even when I'm faithless.

Nothing New

Today, I have a job interview. I remember when that seemed like a big deal.

The Joys of Unemployment

...and a few extra bucks--

If I had to pick one specific food item that I would never want to live without, I would have to go with the McDonald's Egg McMuffin. It's just so tasty. I'm going to go get me a couple in an hour or so.

Relevancy

I talked to my friend Thais today. She hails from Switzerland. Even though we didn’t talk about this today, I can’t help but think about being relevant to the world around me. Thais and I have discussed the pros and cons of Christian post-modern thought and what being a person in a progressive culture entails. Although, I don’t always agree with her (albeit, I don’t ever agree with anyone), she makes some really good points. I think it’s sensible to conclude that as Christians, we are called to be significant to those around us in our homes, families, communities, counties, states, etc. Why does the world change us? Why do we wait for the "times to change" before we do something? Shouldn’t the church’s job be to spread the unchanging absolute truth to the very changing relativistic world? I’m thinking purely on the notion that I haven’t been an applicable person with views that are pertinent to the people in my hood. Some might ask, "What if those who you are trying to reach don’t care?" I don’t remember anyone, anytime in scripture worrying about that. We are commanded to spread the Gospel, not to think about doing it. I say this to myself before I say it to anyone else.

Life In My Neighborhood

I live in government housing. I don't technically know the name of it, but to the locals, we call this particular sect The Hood. As I was driving on Sanders Avenue yesterday (the road to get to my street), I drove by to see a man sitting down on his porch and urinating onto the ground from his porch. I frantically looked away only to think aloud, "I just saw that guy's &*#%!" This truly is the hood.

Enjoy Death Tonight Because You May Have To Live Tomorrow

Dissatisfaction with life invades loads and loads of my time everyday. Time that is much needed on other ventures and activities. But, I never learn from my past mistakes and I spend more time avoiding the possible enhancers then trying to do something constructive. I wrote a post a few weeks back about being discontent with your momentary placement in life. Now more than ever, I am still wallowing in my own pity. It's not pretty. Matter of fact, it’s downright stupid and revolting. Why would anyone ever find friendship with me an attractive, appealing thing? I guess we all did drugs at fifteen.

Tonight, I was talking to a friend named Lauren and I was discussing the seemingly endless possibilities to write about (more like the lack of). She suggested writing about the good that has been going on in my life. Instead, I chose to take a different approach and write about how I'm too childish to realize what is good in my life.

Several things, as trivial and simplistic as they are to the world around me, have been on my mind a lot lately because they are important to me. Friendship is the first. I am grateful for the friends I have. I wouldn't be able to make it through some days without them. But I decided a long time ago, if it was just God and I, I would be fine. Maybe I wouldn't have come to that conclusion if I were just thankful for the things that I have. Instead of having staunchly erred thinking and saying, why do I have to put up with some of these people, I should be thankful all these people put up with me. And, I am. I need to be more thankful.

My ego is another bitter cup to take. Pride kills and it is an endeavor of sin that I never want to be on. Matter of fact, I pride myself on how unprideful and egocentric I am not. Did you catch that? I don't flee from stupidity; I just jump in feet first. I've been told here recently, quite a bit I might add, that I always have to be right. In anything and everything. Of course, I argue this charge, but when it comes down to it, that's just another example of this idiocy I display. Why must I always be right? Why must I have to share my opinion on everything? Uhh... It bothers me so much. I bother myself more than others. Well, actually, that's probably not true because I do enjoy hearing myself talk. But, I can confess that my own pride rips the limbs from my life as well as the relationships in my life. Who wants to hang out with me? Not even I do? But what sucks about that is, I can't get away from myself.

Please don't think I'm just looking for sympathy. I'm not trying to say, "Poor silly Jeff, he needs his friends to put up with him." I'm just trying to write the things I think when no one is around. The point of this site is to express the personal matters that make up our days here on earth. Life is so limited. None of us are guaranteed any more time than we’ve already had. I make up what I already waste with more trash. I limit myself. I limit what I do by just taking up space. Perhaps, I will grow. I usually don't worry about myself in this manner. But, now that I've been aware of this, I should hope that I would change myself for the better. Maybe, I can just be alone for a while...

"Hammers and nails I've used them for building my face this time tomorrow. When I see you again outside. And inside I can hide my sorrow. Talking in such a dirty way found a way I could come back. Catch your eye it's just the same as reminding me of what I wanted. Its what you are. " The Appleseed Cast, Dreamland, from End of The Ring Wars.

Holiday Everyday

We citizens of the world are big on celebration. Most times we don't care if we got anything worth celebrating or not. We're here for the party. As long as the days of the week end in "y" we'll find something to throw our hands in the air and "woo-hoo" about. All we need is something to give us that emotional high so we can forget our troubles.

This is not to say that there's no call for celebration. There's plenty. Life. Breath. Togetherness. Prozac. You know, all that stuff. But why fill a book with things to be happy about? If we need such a book I'm concerned that maybe we're not really happy to begin with. Every Good and Perfect Gift is from God. Can't we just be happy with Him? We have a problem with this. We'd rather thank the leaves for falling.

I like a lot of things in this world. I like the way leaves crunch under my feet in the autumn months. I like turkey and Dorito sandwiches. I like stuffed animals and odd happy meal toys. I like Nick@Nite. I like breaking rules. I like tricking people. I like getting new music and subjecting friends to it. I like arguing about fanship with Jeff. I like a lot of things, but if my happiness could be maintained by them I would be a sad man.

Our definitions of happiness can be so fragile. When dreams are shattered we get new dreams. When people leave or die on us we make new friends. When heroes disappoint us, we find someone else to look up to. When all else fails we opt to take joy in the simple things like coffee or the night sky.

Happiness is nothing short of knowing God. Stop rewriting the definition. You only do that to convince yourself you're happy when you're really not. You do it. I do it. We all do it. And if we don't stop we'll continue to be miserable. So I encourage you follow this definition and Get Happy!

Boys Don't Cry

Don't you really just despise the game of phone tag? No, not freeze tag, phone tag. You know, when you call someone and leave a message, they call you back and you're not there, so they have to leave a message. You return their phone call and then, yep they're not home. So, when they get your message they immediately try and of course, you're not there. So on and so forth. I'm playing right now with a friend. I think we're tied.

"And this phone tag game is endless. The novelty is wearing." Dashboard Confessional