Thursday, August 18, 2005

I Just Don't Know

I am me.

In my efforts to be a person of substance, I often try to be more than I really am. Which is, at best, so far from what I actually need to be. What am I Nothing more than some skin and bones. So, what do I want to be? I don't know. "Want" seems to be the question that would be the episode to end the season finale of my life. Answering that dilemma would be tantamount to finally kissing the girl and living happily ever after. All the concluding answers seem to resolve within that one key question. Yet, to find the answer to that quandary, my life has to be in some sort of order for a solution to be found. Solutions are like garden hoses; easy to unravel, but so hard to make them appear like they were when originally found. If I am incorrect in my question asking, no matter even if I get the beloved paramount response, my inquisitive nature has been damaged because I was not asking the right questions to begin with. The right question--though correct seems to be a relative term--would ease the tension caused in the first place. Then, when I ask the right question, I will get the right answer. There lies the solution. Whether the result I find meets with my approval or not is up to how I feel at the moment, which is to say that my attitude is the main pain causing me to experience strife. Changing my attitude will help me find comfort when I am feeling lost. The heart is deceitful and its subsequent desires are usually wicked. I need to want my heart to be right, then I will know what I need. Stop trying to be and just be me.

I don't know much... except that I am me.

No comments: