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Jeff Watkins
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Saturday, February 26, 2005

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

We should spell work W-E-R-K because we all have to werk with jerks and the change of spelling would make the congruous nature of the two more obvious. Mike, I've enjoyed your recent anecdotes about your job. You work in a christian bookstore. I work across the street from a LifeWay at one of those nasty, secular pluralistic bookstores. I like most of the people I work with, even the head honcho but there are a couple of the higher ups desperate to climb the corporate ladder who oft steal my days of their joy. I'd love to put a discount card in their eye.

Let me tell you about Friday. Our intercom system has been busted for two weeks, to compensate we are communicating via walkie talkies. This, of course, provides added entertainment as CB'ers all around town come in on the frequencies. I was breaking the girl who had been on register one. While checking a customer out the computer malfunctioned. I radioed the manager-of-the-day. To no response. I had a line of four customers and their patience was starting to wear. I paged the M-O-D again. Nothing. This was a situation that had to be resolved. Immediately, right? That's what logic told me. I rushed to the magazines, where I found her. She stood there with another manager. Apparently, she was too busy so she sent that other manager up to the front with me. They figured out that they were on the wrong channel. This, their fault. What did this manager say to me? "Who's watching the front?...You should NEVER leave the front." "It's just we had several customers and I couldn't contact anyone by radio. I thought this was better than everyone getting mad and leaving." She replied insistently, "Still."

I work for idiots. And the thing is, this is one of a dozen stories from a single day.

Not long after the above described incident a lady came to my register. One of her purchases was a gift bag that said, "Happy Birthday." The price was 3.99 but it would not scan. Typing in the ISBN didn't work either. So I tried the only other way-I went to the look up screen and typed "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAG" The only result cost 2.45. Technically, there's a procedure by which I can change that price to the right one. Instead, I just looked up and said, "It's on sale. What do you know?"

It's awful, but I'm not sorry. This is how I cope. Indirect theft. Screw the company. Their greedy and ridiculous and the only reason we took money for the Tsunami relief was for political correctness.

To end this post I'll share with you a poem I wrote on Friday.

Workplace Ethics
If I could wear headphones on the job
I would feel much better
I would work harder
I would not be a slob
I could sing my songs and all would understand
that I operate on a far away land
they would all know to be careful
when asking me for help
or giving me their rhetoric
i would accomplish quite a bit more
but that would be heaven
not this miserable store.

posted by Chase at 9:48 PM


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