In Between Days

Please don't hang me for having incoherent thoughts and then publishing them onto the web.

In twelve days, I will be 24. Not really that exciting. Not really a big deal. Sometimes I feel 40. That's sad isn't it?

Only five days ago, I had been working full time for six months, at a real job, using my degree, semi-using my calling, and being completely independent of my parental figures.

In about six months, I will be packing up all my things and moving (by myself) to New Orleans, LA or Louisville, KY to do my Masters.

What is the one thing all these stopping points in my life have in common? Numbers (yeah yeah, my life, places, nouns, etc--these are all commonalities, but I'm specifically addressing #s).

Numbers are a big deal. They tell the who, what, when, where, why, and how about each day. They culminate all the events of your life into one logical formation. Every passing moment is another to chance to make a change in the formula. And at the end of your life, there is one final equation; albeit, good or bad.

I've been thinking a lot about this. I've previously written about what my life may bring five, ten, or twenty years down the road. At 23 and 3/4, I've decided that, instead of thinking about what I haven't done thus far in my life--as accomplishments, goals, and such--what are some of the things that I have not done that help make me who I am. What is it about me that makes me, me? What haven't I experienced that helps me have experience in other areas?

So, let's see: I've never broken any bones. Nor have I ever been on an airplane. I still haven't seen snow. I've also never been arrested, had any mistormeaner or felony charges brought upon me. I don't recall ever wearing leather. I certainly have never driven any sort of an exotic car. I've never been out of the country. I'm still holding on to my virginity. I also have never been skydiving. As I have wanted to, though, I've never been pierced, tattooed, or branded. With regards to want, still, I've never been published, written a movie script, book, playwright, musical score, or [written] anything more than forty pages. I don't recall ever playing cricket, jai lai, polo, or water polo, lacrosse, or even attempted synchronized swimming. Also, I never did any illegal substances other than marijuana. I never had to wear braces. I certainly have never had an out of body experience. And, like the rest of you reading this, I've never died.

Could any of these seemingly hypothetical (random or not) experiences have altered my existence, and thus caused my life to be in a different place, space, or time. Certainly. How come I am where I am? The will of God? All of my life, the many different failures, joys, hurts, scars, heartaches, trials, and successes make me who I am and equip me to deal with the things that occur.

Am I always right? Certainly not. Am I always wrong? Hardly ever, in my opinion. What's the point? Outside the realm of spirituality and destiny, life really is what you make it. In your conscience and in your heart, you have to live and deal with the truth, no matter how distorted your perception might be. Just because I've never done certain things, that doesn't limit me to be a less compassionate person. Also, just because I've had a few accomplishments, that doesn't give me the ability to accomplish unattainable goals. I've got to be who God wants me and what I know to be right. Truth will be absolute; whether I'm obtaining it or not. Just wait, you'll see. Hopefully, I will too.