Future Tense Accomplishments

Future Tense Accomplishments

Maybe I'm the only one who's done this. For as long as I can remember I have struggled with what it is I am supposed to do with my life. Like a person struggling for sleep, I have tossed and turned for this answer. I announce boldly I now know. I've found the answers. Am I the only one who's done this? I'm not so bold to think that. My main trouble has been having different, yet seemingly conflicting goals. As in thought of it as a vocational crossroads where a choice had to be made. A person cannot go east and west at once. It seemed this way to me because of popular mythology that a person has to invest their entire lives pursuing one career path in order to get anywhere on that path. I have, however, realized the error of my thinking. The goal is not to make a career but to accomplish goals, building a career is not always necessary for this. My error was thinking I had to build a career for each vocational goal and that I thus would be a tad bit short on time. How did I come upon this clarity? I'll tell you.

It happened last month while viewing the annual Oscar telecast. Every year that I watch this a great ghastly feeling is stirred within my soul. It's the thought that God intends me for the purpose of contributing something to film. I've been thinking this for about 8 years. For almost as long I have felt called into "the ministry". My understanding of this calling has evolved and become crisper with the passage of time. I am all but certain now that my "ministerial calling" is to teach high school or college (in such a way as to encourage God-ward thinking). These two paths are the main two paths I've felt drawn to walk down. I think it's pretty easy to see why I'd think of them as east and west.

The telecast got me to thinking as it always does, but for once I decided I didn't always want to be stuck on this question. So I gave it another think over, but in such a way as not reasoning one option over another, but thinking about how God introduces us to the plans he has for our lives, particularly regarding vocation of course. The conclusion I came to was more personal than universal, but perhaps someone can take something from it. The conclusion was that I've done two things consistently: sought God on the matter and maintained the same vocational desires. Thus, these are more appropriately called the desires of my heart. As far as I can tell they are God-given and so far as that is true they will be accomplished.

Without further adieu or additional paragraphs, I present to you my list of life goals:

(In no particular order. Some vocational, others personal)

Teach High School and/or College
Get Masters and Doctorate
Write a book
Have book of poetry published
Write a screenplay
Have screenplay made into movie
Start a production company
Produce an album
Be a good husband and *father (*not a short-term goal)

It was Donna's idea that I make such a list. It is her insistence that I pursue these goals. I don't dare say this list is in stone, but give or take an item or two I think it's pretty solid. I want to teach because I care how people think. I have to have the education to do this. The next six on the list are the creative contributions that I want to make. Mainly, I want the completed works of book, screenplay, movie and album for the purposes of saying I did rather than for being known for it. I'd like a publishing deal, but the finished book is the foremost goal there. When I say to have my poetry published I mean, if nothing else, a project which I finance myself. I want to write a screenplay and have a movie made of it. Understand, this are two separate, yet interconnected, goals. More than likely for the movie to be made according to the vision I have it would have to be financed by an entity larger than myself. I need their funding, but beyond that I'm not so concerned that it be a big success. My desire to produce an album is basically the same as these others. I want to start a production company because my vision for film goes beyond a couple movies I'd like to make. This goal is to create a network of financiers and filmmakers all who share a similar hope regarding future cinema. For my purposes I listed only the essentials. Like, I want to write a book but intend to write more than one. The idea is that without at least seriously pursuing these on this list I will not be happy with myself. If for some reason or another I don't pull them off but have seriously pursued them in addition to God's will regarding them the situation will be different. Then it will be evident that I was wrong in some way as to what I said were my God-given desires of my heart. I think people are unhappy with their lives, or at least their jobs because they do not seek God's direction in the area and/or do not pursue these desires. The last goal was to be a good husband and father. This is not a vocational goal, but nonetheless I felt it as important to list here because even moreso than these others it's important I actively pursue this goal and seek God in that pursuit. These goals exist not for themselves or even simply for me but as part of a plan only God could dream up.

I hope that my work pleases him.