Is There Such A Thing As Unachieved Brilliance?

If there is, I could write a book on it. But, like this site, I wouldn't be able to get past the first page.
 
My Uncle's funeral was today. It was good; as good as a funeral can be. Less than fifty people showed up. I was a little disappointed at some of my relatives because they didn't come. However, it was nice to see Uncle Ken, Aunt Linda [Watkins], Aunt Martie, Uncle Charles, Aunt Linda [Wolfe], and my parents. My folks will be up in this area until Sunday, so Saturday we're going to hang out all day.
 
During the funeral, though it was hard, I made it through the entire ordeal without crying. I'm not one of those macho guys who think it's not cool to cry. Actually, I'm quite the opposite; I am not opposed to it at all. But, I wasn't really close to him and didn't feel it was my place to cry. Does that make sense? You know, like it attracts attention to myself and there were plenty people who were more hurt today than I. The thing that was more disheartening than the actual death of my uncle was that my Dad was crying. I had to pinch myself a few times to keep it together because my Dad was singing and it really was more sobbing than singing. That was hard. It tore my heart up. The guy I immortalized as a child finally turns into a mortal as I slowly make my way to manhood. Crazy times.
 
As tired as I am, I should stop writing, shutdown the PC, and get into bed. But, there's a chance I could wet the bed. So, I'll expound on my Pops some more.
 
When I was a youngster, I enjoyed meeting his approval. As I got older, especially in my teenage years, I abhorred his approval and went out of my way to loose it. While this might seem dumb now, it certainly made sense then--it was called rebellion. But, there are a few mistakes that my Dad will not let me forget. I used to become irate when he would bring those incidents up. And while he should let things go easier, maybe I shouldn't have done the idiotic things in the first place. But what can you do? He remembers. As I get older, I find myself trying to meet his approval again. I will always and by always, I do mean always, do what I want or what I think God wants. But, I like to throw ideas I have past him, to see if they make sense . It's a good place to be when you can appreciate and honor your parents opinions. Especially since, for the longest time, I wouldn't want anything to do with it.
 
Maybe I'm growing up? Or this is just a phase. Maybe you are going through this too? Life is nothing but a confusing maze...