Antidisestablishmentarianism
So I came across these words the other day and I was quite intrigued (see what school can get you). I decided I would write them down and share them with the entire blogging community. As I discover more of these captivating thoughts and verses I'll post them. As for me, I'm off to work in 1 hour. Bye! Bye! Bye!
The path of the righteous is level;
O upright one, you make the
way of the righteous
smooth.
Yes, Lord, walking in the way of
your laws,
we wait for you;
your name and renown
are the desire of our hearts.
My soul yearns for you in the
night;
in the morning my spirit longs
for you.
When your judgments come upon
the earth,
the people of the world learn
righteousness.
Though grace is shown to the
wicked,
they do no learn righteousness;
even in a land of uprightness they
go on doing evil
and regard not the majesty of
the Lord.
O Lord, your hand is lifted high,
but they do no see it.
Let them see your zeal for your
people and be put to
shame;
let the fire reserved for your
enemies consume them.
Isaiah 26:7-11 (NIV)
Friday, May 31, 2002
Thursday, May 30, 2002
Alone In My Principles
First off, how many people out there actually care or know that I write on here?
Would you miss me if I was gone? Do you even know I exist? Just curious. Feed me your comments.
I want to continue writing for To Whom. The problem is I have my own site and am against publishing the same thing in two places. I just need some direction. Why am I against posting the same thing twice like that? It feels cheap to me. No offense to anyone who does so. This would be especially lame if I did so once I start hosting this site on my domain. Does anyone agree with me, or am I alone in my principles? Jeff, that was a movie reference just for you. I asked Justin and he made me the editor. So, if you see bad grammar and mispelled words its my fault. But, please keep in mind I'm only one guy. It would take an army to fix all the mistakes I see. Guys, I'm just kidding. Everyone knows, I'm from Alabama and couldn't even read when I first met Justin and Jeff a couple years ago. The two took me under their wing and taught me how to read and write. Thanks Guys! They even let me be the token idiot. Gee, ain't that swell. Makes a guy want to call his mom and say, "Look mom, I done made something of myself." Too bad she got no phone.
What has been going on in my life? Why am I asking you? You just found out I existed.
Well, me and Jeff are taking a class on the Old Testament prophets. This has been a great class thus far. During the twenty minute breaks he and I make Hardee's runs. Sometimes when I'm out of dollars, the lady gives me food. She feels bad for me since I'm from Alabama and all. She says, "I's just don't feel like you was given a fair shake." And when she says that all I can think is, "I wonder if she would let me have a milkshake too." After class I take naps and wake up. Then, the best part of the day is when I go check my mail. Jeff sometimes has to help me read my letters. There ain't a whole heck of a lot to do here. It's a two horse town and somebody's out riding both of 'em. I don't have anything else to say. I have to go learn my lessons.
First off, how many people out there actually care or know that I write on here?
Would you miss me if I was gone? Do you even know I exist? Just curious. Feed me your comments.
I want to continue writing for To Whom. The problem is I have my own site and am against publishing the same thing in two places. I just need some direction. Why am I against posting the same thing twice like that? It feels cheap to me. No offense to anyone who does so. This would be especially lame if I did so once I start hosting this site on my domain. Does anyone agree with me, or am I alone in my principles? Jeff, that was a movie reference just for you. I asked Justin and he made me the editor. So, if you see bad grammar and mispelled words its my fault. But, please keep in mind I'm only one guy. It would take an army to fix all the mistakes I see. Guys, I'm just kidding. Everyone knows, I'm from Alabama and couldn't even read when I first met Justin and Jeff a couple years ago. The two took me under their wing and taught me how to read and write. Thanks Guys! They even let me be the token idiot. Gee, ain't that swell. Makes a guy want to call his mom and say, "Look mom, I done made something of myself." Too bad she got no phone.
What has been going on in my life? Why am I asking you? You just found out I existed.
Well, me and Jeff are taking a class on the Old Testament prophets. This has been a great class thus far. During the twenty minute breaks he and I make Hardee's runs. Sometimes when I'm out of dollars, the lady gives me food. She feels bad for me since I'm from Alabama and all. She says, "I's just don't feel like you was given a fair shake." And when she says that all I can think is, "I wonder if she would let me have a milkshake too." After class I take naps and wake up. Then, the best part of the day is when I go check my mail. Jeff sometimes has to help me read my letters. There ain't a whole heck of a lot to do here. It's a two horse town and somebody's out riding both of 'em. I don't have anything else to say. I have to go learn my lessons.
Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Possibly The Worst Thing You Could Ever Do
I was hanging out with Mike Sutton and Chase Livingston today. Mike and I were playing a little game of 'horse' on Tony Hawk 3 and having a good time of borderline insanity meeting mid-day insomnia. Well, maybe that’s what it was like for me. Anyway, I was thinking about something today that I've done many times before. It's something that causes me much grief, anguish, and sorrow. Not the fact that I cannot forget about it or even get over it. It's just the mindset that my thinking turns to every time I hear those specific words and that precise melody being played. I have a theory and it is called The Song Theory. That theory unequivocally states that giving a girl (besides your wife or daughter) a song, is possibly the worst thing in the world that you could ever do.
By giving a girl a song, I am simply conveying that you let one song represent all of how you've ever felt, ever known, and ever loved about that person. Obviously, I do not have factual or legitimate evidence to back up this so-called theory, but I do think that I know a lot about the subject. I like to sing and when I sing, sometimes I imagine that my strained, tiresome voice is going to be heard by a particular girl while I’m riding in my car and singing a song to her. It's funny because it's almost as if I actually believe that she can hear me. By the way, this is not directed towards anybody or specifically any girl. I can just think back and remember all the times I decided this one song talked about her and now forever more I will be reminiscent of her when I think about that song. By all means, that is definitely not a bad thing. It just makes your emotions react differently than you're used to when you hear that song being played. I wonder if it's like this for a lot of people. There isn't any song that is better than the other; every one of them put those memories and feelings back into your cranium. Maybe I haven't gotten over these girls yet and these songs are metaphors for why I feel the way I feel towards them.
Going along with the standard thoughts and ideas behind this theory, there is nothing worse that you can ever do in life. I could quite possibly be blowing this out of proportion. Yes, I know I am being ridiculous. Please, no comments about that aspect of this post. In any case, there is nothing worse you can do and feel bad about in life (in the general sense of emotions in relationships) than giving a girl, besides your wife or daughter a song. There are some obvious things in life like murder, killing helpless critters, and losing your job because you were trying to steal company paper from the fax machine that makes you feel of no value, insignificant and terrified to live. The epitome of hurt after a relationship has gone awry is only filtered back up through the reservoirs of your heart when it is tapped by those proverbial words and familiar chords of a lost song somewhere between your head and your heart. That is most definitely the prevailing wind engulfing the fire of wretchedness and gloom that can be found in your soul. There can also be good times when recollecting an old long lost love song inside your heart. Thinking of all the happy times, joys, thrills, and adventures you've once shared with another member of the opposite sex. But, in reality, like Adam Sandler said we all know that "Love Stinks!" This has been Jeff Watkins with another addition of Possibly The Worst Thing You Could Ever Do
…and we’re clear…
I was hanging out with Mike Sutton and Chase Livingston today. Mike and I were playing a little game of 'horse' on Tony Hawk 3 and having a good time of borderline insanity meeting mid-day insomnia. Well, maybe that’s what it was like for me. Anyway, I was thinking about something today that I've done many times before. It's something that causes me much grief, anguish, and sorrow. Not the fact that I cannot forget about it or even get over it. It's just the mindset that my thinking turns to every time I hear those specific words and that precise melody being played. I have a theory and it is called The Song Theory. That theory unequivocally states that giving a girl (besides your wife or daughter) a song, is possibly the worst thing in the world that you could ever do.
By giving a girl a song, I am simply conveying that you let one song represent all of how you've ever felt, ever known, and ever loved about that person. Obviously, I do not have factual or legitimate evidence to back up this so-called theory, but I do think that I know a lot about the subject. I like to sing and when I sing, sometimes I imagine that my strained, tiresome voice is going to be heard by a particular girl while I’m riding in my car and singing a song to her. It's funny because it's almost as if I actually believe that she can hear me. By the way, this is not directed towards anybody or specifically any girl. I can just think back and remember all the times I decided this one song talked about her and now forever more I will be reminiscent of her when I think about that song. By all means, that is definitely not a bad thing. It just makes your emotions react differently than you're used to when you hear that song being played. I wonder if it's like this for a lot of people. There isn't any song that is better than the other; every one of them put those memories and feelings back into your cranium. Maybe I haven't gotten over these girls yet and these songs are metaphors for why I feel the way I feel towards them.
Going along with the standard thoughts and ideas behind this theory, there is nothing worse that you can ever do in life. I could quite possibly be blowing this out of proportion. Yes, I know I am being ridiculous. Please, no comments about that aspect of this post. In any case, there is nothing worse you can do and feel bad about in life (in the general sense of emotions in relationships) than giving a girl, besides your wife or daughter a song. There are some obvious things in life like murder, killing helpless critters, and losing your job because you were trying to steal company paper from the fax machine that makes you feel of no value, insignificant and terrified to live. The epitome of hurt after a relationship has gone awry is only filtered back up through the reservoirs of your heart when it is tapped by those proverbial words and familiar chords of a lost song somewhere between your head and your heart. That is most definitely the prevailing wind engulfing the fire of wretchedness and gloom that can be found in your soul. There can also be good times when recollecting an old long lost love song inside your heart. Thinking of all the happy times, joys, thrills, and adventures you've once shared with another member of the opposite sex. But, in reality, like Adam Sandler said we all know that "Love Stinks!" This has been Jeff Watkins with another addition of Possibly The Worst Thing You Could Ever Do
…and we’re clear…
Friday, May 24, 2002
Hello. As the newest member on T.W.I.M.C., I thought I would just write a short post of introduction and thank you. First I would like to thank Justin Mcleod for the invitation to join. Next I would like to thank my parents for spawning me, and finally I would like to thank myself for molding me into the genius I have become today. Sadly, this may be my only post for a few days. I will be traveling to Gainesville, Fl to attend the Bar Mitzvah of an extremely docile sasquatch, while simultaneously attempting to break the worlds record for extricating a lonesome newt from the dewlap of a tempermental bovine. So without further ado "allow myself to introduce myself." My name is Justin, hold your applause for later, and please make your checks and donations payable to Snavely Enterprises, Ltd. Thank you and good morning.
Thursday, May 23, 2002
mamma ilardo's
Since 1976
Chase and I just returned from the wonderful cuisine of mamma ilardo's pizza establishment here in the booming metropolis of Graceville, Florida. This restaurant served pizza faithfully to our school cafeteria for a few years. Then, because no students ate it, they put it in another location with an already established Subway (all the kids at BCF know what I'm referring to). I had some breadsticks and Chase had a personal pan pepperoni pizza and for the most part it was good. Quality food at affordable prices should be their slogan, but instead it's "mamma knows best." Catchy, I know. Anyway, I'm fixing to study because I have my final tomorrow for Southern Baptist History but I just wanted to let everyone know what was going on in my life. I figured I would just end this with the last 10 records that I had listened to. Have a good one.
New Music:
Mxpx "Ten Years and Running"
Slick Shoes "Self-Titled"
Last 10 Records I Listened to:
The Get Up Kids "Something To Write Home About"
Alice Cooper "The Life and Crimes of Alice Cooper"
Dashboard Confessional "So Impossible EP"
Appleseed Cast "Mare Vitalis"
The Beach Boys "Pet Sounds"
Overcome "Immortal Until Their Work Is Done"
The Huntingtons "Songs In The Key of You"
Ace Troubleshooter "Self-Titled"
The Beatles "Let It Be"
The Juliana Theory "Music From Another Room"
and remember kids "mamma knows best"
Since 1976
Chase and I just returned from the wonderful cuisine of mamma ilardo's pizza establishment here in the booming metropolis of Graceville, Florida. This restaurant served pizza faithfully to our school cafeteria for a few years. Then, because no students ate it, they put it in another location with an already established Subway (all the kids at BCF know what I'm referring to). I had some breadsticks and Chase had a personal pan pepperoni pizza and for the most part it was good. Quality food at affordable prices should be their slogan, but instead it's "mamma knows best." Catchy, I know. Anyway, I'm fixing to study because I have my final tomorrow for Southern Baptist History but I just wanted to let everyone know what was going on in my life. I figured I would just end this with the last 10 records that I had listened to. Have a good one.
New Music:
Mxpx "Ten Years and Running"
Slick Shoes "Self-Titled"
Last 10 Records I Listened to:
The Get Up Kids "Something To Write Home About"
Alice Cooper "The Life and Crimes of Alice Cooper"
Dashboard Confessional "So Impossible EP"
Appleseed Cast "Mare Vitalis"
The Beach Boys "Pet Sounds"
Overcome "Immortal Until Their Work Is Done"
The Huntingtons "Songs In The Key of You"
Ace Troubleshooter "Self-Titled"
The Beatles "Let It Be"
The Juliana Theory "Music From Another Room"
and remember kids "mamma knows best"
Tuesday, May 21, 2002
Enter The Creation
I'm officially done with one week of school! Let's have a celebration! Only one more week to go! I had my mid-term today. It had 115-mulitple guess, true/false, and matching questions. With 10 extra credit fill in the blank questions at one point each. I missed 14 total and got a few of the extra credit right. That makes my total 95! I was so excited because I'm pretty much a slacker until a few days before the test and last night I was getting messed up on a lot of the dates. Now, I just have to survive four more quizzes and my final on Friday and I'll be fine. Then I have 3 days off and I start my 3-week long Old Testament 201 class. Work is going good. Turner Research got brand new Gateway Computers, DSL connection in every office, 65 MB Memory Voice Activated Digital Recorders for our phone calls, and a new survey. We are surveying Connecticut for the Department of Transportation about commuting. It's going to be interesting because I have to ask people for their name, phone number, address, etc. My hours will hopefully be picking up so I can save some money.
Speaking of work, during my shift a couple nights last week, I was doing a survey and nobody in Florida was answering their phone. So thus began the commencing of me jotting down some ideas for a new poem. This is my creativeness for the week. So, please gag, heave, vomit, spew, and just generally get sick at will:
The Operator Said
“Insert 25 More Cents”
(5/16/02-5/17/02)
I think about all the times I cried.
All the crimes I was tried for.
I call you all the time, as it feels that way for me.
In reality, it’s actually never.
I wonder what it’s like to be
On the other end of your receiver.
I listen to that subtle, faint tone
As it screams at me
When your phone sits and constantly rings.
Each ring seems to form a sentence
That so sweet and eloquently boasts
“I hate you.”
I get that pledged and constant feeling
Every time the operator’s voice so calmly assures me
“We’re sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is not longer in service.”
Why are my unanswered phone calls,
Metaphors for you lost feelings?
And why does it seem like your illicit tears
Are always wiped away by another man fears?
I lay here and try to hear.
It’s no good; I’ll never understand the way.
The way we could never comprehend.
How each other really felt,
I guess this is better than being left with doubt.
Later On
I'm officially done with one week of school! Let's have a celebration! Only one more week to go! I had my mid-term today. It had 115-mulitple guess, true/false, and matching questions. With 10 extra credit fill in the blank questions at one point each. I missed 14 total and got a few of the extra credit right. That makes my total 95! I was so excited because I'm pretty much a slacker until a few days before the test and last night I was getting messed up on a lot of the dates. Now, I just have to survive four more quizzes and my final on Friday and I'll be fine. Then I have 3 days off and I start my 3-week long Old Testament 201 class. Work is going good. Turner Research got brand new Gateway Computers, DSL connection in every office, 65 MB Memory Voice Activated Digital Recorders for our phone calls, and a new survey. We are surveying Connecticut for the Department of Transportation about commuting. It's going to be interesting because I have to ask people for their name, phone number, address, etc. My hours will hopefully be picking up so I can save some money.
Speaking of work, during my shift a couple nights last week, I was doing a survey and nobody in Florida was answering their phone. So thus began the commencing of me jotting down some ideas for a new poem. This is my creativeness for the week. So, please gag, heave, vomit, spew, and just generally get sick at will:
The Operator Said
“Insert 25 More Cents”
(5/16/02-5/17/02)
I think about all the times I cried.
All the crimes I was tried for.
I call you all the time, as it feels that way for me.
In reality, it’s actually never.
I wonder what it’s like to be
On the other end of your receiver.
I listen to that subtle, faint tone
As it screams at me
When your phone sits and constantly rings.
Each ring seems to form a sentence
That so sweet and eloquently boasts
“I hate you.”
I get that pledged and constant feeling
Every time the operator’s voice so calmly assures me
“We’re sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is not longer in service.”
Why are my unanswered phone calls,
Metaphors for you lost feelings?
And why does it seem like your illicit tears
Are always wiped away by another man fears?
I lay here and try to hear.
It’s no good; I’ll never understand the way.
The way we could never comprehend.
How each other really felt,
I guess this is better than being left with doubt.
Later On
Wednesday, May 15, 2002
Regeneration To Self
As all the Star Wars fanatics are sitting in front of a very crowded movie theater waiting for Darth Maul, Jar Jar Binks, Obi-Wan, and whoever else is in that movie, Chase and I are here in Smith Hall just taking it easy. I (like Chase) am taking a Southern Baptist History class for my first summer term. It's really interesting to see where my theology has developed from and how it got to be where it is today. The only drag is that it is four hours long on Tuesday through Friday. We've already taken 18 and 1/2 pages of notes... My hand hurts still and I've been out of the class now for 8 hours. I'm still working for Turner Research and that's always fun. You never realize how important dinner is to 55-year-old men, until you interrupt them from their delectable feast. I've got a lot of things going on in my life right now. But none of them show any form of life or being outside of my head. I'm thinking about so much stuff, I'm actually getting stressed. All the way from girls to punk rock to Tony Hawk 3 to tests to seminary to why does it smell after it rains? When Sean Tanner and I were hanging out these past couple of days, we were listening to a lot of Craig's Brother. They’re a band from Santa Cruz, CA and their lyrics really touch to my life. Sean found this song called Set Free that he really likes (I do too, cause it's my CD). So for the rest of this babble, I'm gonna post the lyrics to some of their songs that really make me think about life and make me want to sing them to certain individuals. Have a good evening world;
LULLABY
And though my sermon salts the air. My ears are soon left empty, silence still holds dominion. Words once adorned are now laid bear. Unpolished lumps of nothing. So much unheard opinion. Silence now dill, Hush now be still. All is at ease, Rest now 'n peace. Come now sleep.
So shut My mouth and close my eyes. I've no strength left to patronize. So much to see with eyes wide open, but not a thing worth placing hope in. So hold me now in sweet pretense. If life's not worth the effort, at least it keeps my interest. Like fools embracing ignorance. Striving to still ambition, hopes grip is so relentless. Silent now rest, come happiness. All is at ease hush now don't speak. Come now sleep.
So shut my mouth and close my eyes. I've no faith left to compromise. There's so much to see with eyes wide open. But not a thing worth placing hope in. Is that the Idea? It all seems like such a rip-off. Am I supposed to act like it's O.K.? And take it like a man? Don't give me that fantasy, I've nothing but apathy and Impotent anger.
And not a thing worth placing hope or anticipation. Accept the gentle thought of darkness and silence and slumber.
MASONIC
Nothing was wrong and the future looked better than it ever looked before, so I thought. The trouble was gone; it felt as if a bond had been restored. It’s over, he plead the fifth too long. Deserving to walk the plank and fall. No longer blind, the light hurts his eyes. In hope that time, will help anesthetize. Annul the hurt, the shame, that's eating him alive. He’s praying more than friendship will survive.
OK so far I’m not impressed. When does it get good and how much time is left? No way, she can't end up with him. Did the hero die, don't the good guys win?
Don’t the good guys win? Don't they win? Don’t they win in the end? No longer bound, it's freedom he defies. In shock cause I’ve been hit between the eyes.
I guess it's fair; I made the bed where I will lie. There’s got to be some way now. I’m sure he'll find some way now. The pain of losing you should fade in time.
FALLING OUT
I'm sure you're in a lot of pain, but it's supposed to feel this way. I never did this to you. Despite the beauty we create. I just can't stand beneath your weight. I don't know what to do. I’m sure you need a helping hand. But you're stuck in sinking sand. And you're pulling me in with you. Look at the mess you drug me through. Look at the pity you pursue. I’m falling out with you. Help me I’m falling out with you.
So make my instincts leave me be. Cause I don't want to fight or flee. But there's not much more you can take from me. Despite the pleasure we invoke, I’m so sick of being broke. Will it hurt this much when I’ve broken free? Well I try. But I can't understand why I have to hold your hand. Every step of the way, day after day, you depend on my strength to pull you through. But I’m just as weak as you.
SET FREE
I guess there's only one place to go from here. I think the options are clear anyway. I’m sure you’re tired of waiting for me. To figure out where you fit in. I guess I’m afraid of what we could be. Cause I don't want to sell you short of your dreams. I’m sorry for making you wait for me. Cause I don't want to hold you down. But I don't want to set you free. I don't want to make you run from me.
I guess it's hard to believe that I. Could make myself give up. After all this time you and me. Trying hard to make sense of our differences. Pretending we both had everything. I guess I believed in our fantasy. You only loved the one you wanted me to be. I’m sorry for breaking your faith in me. I don't want to hold you down.
But what if you're more than I could please. Could you accept apologies? I don't want to squander all your time. I don't want to mislead you. I think we both knew that it was done. Sorry I had to be the one. Sometimes I wish it were the other way around. I wish you weren't supposed to be set free.
All Lyrics Taken From Songs From The Album Lost At Sea
COPYRIGHT CRAIG'S BROTHER 2001
Buy the record @ Tooth And Nail Records Mailorder
Keepin' The Flow Movin'
As all the Star Wars fanatics are sitting in front of a very crowded movie theater waiting for Darth Maul, Jar Jar Binks, Obi-Wan, and whoever else is in that movie, Chase and I are here in Smith Hall just taking it easy. I (like Chase) am taking a Southern Baptist History class for my first summer term. It's really interesting to see where my theology has developed from and how it got to be where it is today. The only drag is that it is four hours long on Tuesday through Friday. We've already taken 18 and 1/2 pages of notes... My hand hurts still and I've been out of the class now for 8 hours. I'm still working for Turner Research and that's always fun. You never realize how important dinner is to 55-year-old men, until you interrupt them from their delectable feast. I've got a lot of things going on in my life right now. But none of them show any form of life or being outside of my head. I'm thinking about so much stuff, I'm actually getting stressed. All the way from girls to punk rock to Tony Hawk 3 to tests to seminary to why does it smell after it rains? When Sean Tanner and I were hanging out these past couple of days, we were listening to a lot of Craig's Brother. They’re a band from Santa Cruz, CA and their lyrics really touch to my life. Sean found this song called Set Free that he really likes (I do too, cause it's my CD). So for the rest of this babble, I'm gonna post the lyrics to some of their songs that really make me think about life and make me want to sing them to certain individuals. Have a good evening world;
LULLABY
And though my sermon salts the air. My ears are soon left empty, silence still holds dominion. Words once adorned are now laid bear. Unpolished lumps of nothing. So much unheard opinion. Silence now dill, Hush now be still. All is at ease, Rest now 'n peace. Come now sleep.
So shut My mouth and close my eyes. I've no strength left to patronize. So much to see with eyes wide open, but not a thing worth placing hope in. So hold me now in sweet pretense. If life's not worth the effort, at least it keeps my interest. Like fools embracing ignorance. Striving to still ambition, hopes grip is so relentless. Silent now rest, come happiness. All is at ease hush now don't speak. Come now sleep.
So shut my mouth and close my eyes. I've no faith left to compromise. There's so much to see with eyes wide open. But not a thing worth placing hope in. Is that the Idea? It all seems like such a rip-off. Am I supposed to act like it's O.K.? And take it like a man? Don't give me that fantasy, I've nothing but apathy and Impotent anger.
And not a thing worth placing hope or anticipation. Accept the gentle thought of darkness and silence and slumber.
MASONIC
Nothing was wrong and the future looked better than it ever looked before, so I thought. The trouble was gone; it felt as if a bond had been restored. It’s over, he plead the fifth too long. Deserving to walk the plank and fall. No longer blind, the light hurts his eyes. In hope that time, will help anesthetize. Annul the hurt, the shame, that's eating him alive. He’s praying more than friendship will survive.
OK so far I’m not impressed. When does it get good and how much time is left? No way, she can't end up with him. Did the hero die, don't the good guys win?
Don’t the good guys win? Don't they win? Don’t they win in the end? No longer bound, it's freedom he defies. In shock cause I’ve been hit between the eyes.
I guess it's fair; I made the bed where I will lie. There’s got to be some way now. I’m sure he'll find some way now. The pain of losing you should fade in time.
FALLING OUT
I'm sure you're in a lot of pain, but it's supposed to feel this way. I never did this to you. Despite the beauty we create. I just can't stand beneath your weight. I don't know what to do. I’m sure you need a helping hand. But you're stuck in sinking sand. And you're pulling me in with you. Look at the mess you drug me through. Look at the pity you pursue. I’m falling out with you. Help me I’m falling out with you.
So make my instincts leave me be. Cause I don't want to fight or flee. But there's not much more you can take from me. Despite the pleasure we invoke, I’m so sick of being broke. Will it hurt this much when I’ve broken free? Well I try. But I can't understand why I have to hold your hand. Every step of the way, day after day, you depend on my strength to pull you through. But I’m just as weak as you.
SET FREE
I guess there's only one place to go from here. I think the options are clear anyway. I’m sure you’re tired of waiting for me. To figure out where you fit in. I guess I’m afraid of what we could be. Cause I don't want to sell you short of your dreams. I’m sorry for making you wait for me. Cause I don't want to hold you down. But I don't want to set you free. I don't want to make you run from me.
I guess it's hard to believe that I. Could make myself give up. After all this time you and me. Trying hard to make sense of our differences. Pretending we both had everything. I guess I believed in our fantasy. You only loved the one you wanted me to be. I’m sorry for breaking your faith in me. I don't want to hold you down.
But what if you're more than I could please. Could you accept apologies? I don't want to squander all your time. I don't want to mislead you. I think we both knew that it was done. Sorry I had to be the one. Sometimes I wish it were the other way around. I wish you weren't supposed to be set free.
All Lyrics Taken From Songs From The Album Lost At Sea
COPYRIGHT CRAIG'S BROTHER 2001
Buy the record @ Tooth And Nail Records Mailorder
Keepin' The Flow Movin'
Sunday, May 12, 2002
Killing Helpless Animals And Saying Goodbye To Sean Tanner
It's now time for another installment of what's been going on in my life. Much the same as previous weeks not a great deal is going on. School and graduation are over. For the kids taking summer classes, we start back to school on Tuesday and I start back to work that same day. Overall, I guess the summer "break" will come at the end of July, maybe. During these past 3 or 4 days, I have been moving all of my personal belongings (or what some would like to call my 'crap') into my new roommate's crib. Yep, that's right, I'm gonna be rooming with Jed and that should prove to either be fun, brave, or terribly horrifying. I have so much stuff to put away and my roomy keeps bugging me to put most of it up. Gosh... the nerve of that guy.
Moving on to new business: today we say goodbye to a dear friend here at the ol' Buddhist College of Florida. Today, I drove Sean Tanner to Panama City, FL (about a 1 hour drive) to pick up his red Ford Escort rental car. He will be heading to Fort Myers, FL for the summer to work. Since I went to bed at 2:30 A.M. and got up at 4:30 A.M., I'm just a wee bit tired. Sean treated me to breakfast at our usual spot the Waffle House. Even though we were tempted to just drive to Panama City and eat at a cheap imitation restaurant like the Huddle House or the Waffle Shoppe, we decided that the Waffle House in Chipley would suffice our hungering bellies. We both got waffles and I got some ham. Mrs. Debbie (local waitress who always seems to be working when we go there) said bye to us and told Sean and I to drive careful. As we were walking out the door, Sean told her that he would see her in 3 months. I then added that I would probably see her next week.
Driving down to P.C. was a good time of yawning and flatulence for the both of us. On the way, there were a couple of birds that flew right in front of my car and I hit one of them. Sean then proceeded to scream at me "YOU HIT IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HIT IT!" Haha, it was probably one of the funniest things because for the rest of the morning he would sporadically yell that phrase out. We finally made it to the airport and it took us a few minutes and a few drives AROUND the airport to find where we needed to be. Sean finally got to his car and I helped him pack it up. We hugged and embraced for a short moment and went on our ways. Sean needed to get back onto HWY 231 and I was just gonna stay down in P.C. for a while. I was just following him out and we were still a few miles from where he needed to turn. When all of the sudden a squirrel ran out in front of me and you guessed it, I squished it. 2 for me; 0 for Sean. Almost in complete and utter haste I sped up to tell Sean about it. We finally got to his left turn on HWY 231 and I was still going straight. He rolled his window down and I explained the homicide of the squirrel. We had a quick laugh at the light and then it turned green. We said a see ya later and did a macho finger point in each other's direction and drove off. We honked the horns for a good mile, even though, I'm sure neither one of us could hear the other's horn after a good 250 feet. Then I drove around the lovely city of Panama City (Redneck Riviera) and went to the beach and had my quiet time and prayed. It was good. I'm so tired though and my Mom (Jed) is yelling at me to clean my room so I better go. Happy Mother's Day and the rest of everything else for you kids too.
To Whom It May Concern
It's now time for another installment of what's been going on in my life. Much the same as previous weeks not a great deal is going on. School and graduation are over. For the kids taking summer classes, we start back to school on Tuesday and I start back to work that same day. Overall, I guess the summer "break" will come at the end of July, maybe. During these past 3 or 4 days, I have been moving all of my personal belongings (or what some would like to call my 'crap') into my new roommate's crib. Yep, that's right, I'm gonna be rooming with Jed and that should prove to either be fun, brave, or terribly horrifying. I have so much stuff to put away and my roomy keeps bugging me to put most of it up. Gosh... the nerve of that guy.
Moving on to new business: today we say goodbye to a dear friend here at the ol' Buddhist College of Florida. Today, I drove Sean Tanner to Panama City, FL (about a 1 hour drive) to pick up his red Ford Escort rental car. He will be heading to Fort Myers, FL for the summer to work. Since I went to bed at 2:30 A.M. and got up at 4:30 A.M., I'm just a wee bit tired. Sean treated me to breakfast at our usual spot the Waffle House. Even though we were tempted to just drive to Panama City and eat at a cheap imitation restaurant like the Huddle House or the Waffle Shoppe, we decided that the Waffle House in Chipley would suffice our hungering bellies. We both got waffles and I got some ham. Mrs. Debbie (local waitress who always seems to be working when we go there) said bye to us and told Sean and I to drive careful. As we were walking out the door, Sean told her that he would see her in 3 months. I then added that I would probably see her next week.
Driving down to P.C. was a good time of yawning and flatulence for the both of us. On the way, there were a couple of birds that flew right in front of my car and I hit one of them. Sean then proceeded to scream at me "YOU HIT IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HIT IT!" Haha, it was probably one of the funniest things because for the rest of the morning he would sporadically yell that phrase out. We finally made it to the airport and it took us a few minutes and a few drives AROUND the airport to find where we needed to be. Sean finally got to his car and I helped him pack it up. We hugged and embraced for a short moment and went on our ways. Sean needed to get back onto HWY 231 and I was just gonna stay down in P.C. for a while. I was just following him out and we were still a few miles from where he needed to turn. When all of the sudden a squirrel ran out in front of me and you guessed it, I squished it. 2 for me; 0 for Sean. Almost in complete and utter haste I sped up to tell Sean about it. We finally got to his left turn on HWY 231 and I was still going straight. He rolled his window down and I explained the homicide of the squirrel. We had a quick laugh at the light and then it turned green. We said a see ya later and did a macho finger point in each other's direction and drove off. We honked the horns for a good mile, even though, I'm sure neither one of us could hear the other's horn after a good 250 feet. Then I drove around the lovely city of Panama City (Redneck Riviera) and went to the beach and had my quiet time and prayed. It was good. I'm so tired though and my Mom (Jed) is yelling at me to clean my room so I better go. Happy Mother's Day and the rest of everything else for you kids too.
To Whom It May Concern
Tuesday, May 07, 2002
Saturday, May 04, 2002
Bark and Bite
sometimes trees look like people
sometimes shadows look like souls
sometimes we walk to steeples
sometimes we fall in black holes
If joy is in victory
and pain is defeat
I'm carrying trophies
for my enemies
sometimes fact looks like fiction
sometimes desert looks like sea
sometimes touch causes friction
sometimes blind eyes can see
Thursday, May 02, 2002
Happy Trails To You, Until We Meet Again
Well, as I type the ol' theme song from the Roy Rogers show, (I think that's where it's from) I have a smile on my face. Not that I haven't had a smile on my face in a while. It just seems like it has been a while since I've felt happy. Yay! Happiness is good! I made a 94 on my Sociology final. Which means if I did the math right, I have a 90.25 % in the class and yes ladies and gentlemen, that is an A. I hope everything else goes that good. If I fail my Psychology 340 final, I could get a D in the class. I better study really hard. As the semester and the school year draw to a close, I'm reminded of the last two years and what I was doing at this time. Even though I still have outlines to read, 4 hours of parallel reading to do, and 2 or 3 more finals, I just feel like it's almost over and I get a break, even though I am taking 8 hours of summer classes. It's just that reassuring feeling that this is only gonna be a short time of my life and I need to make the most of every moment and every day. "Because, that's really all that life is. A bunch of little moments." (Dogma)
I'm the kind of guy who has to finalize everything. I have to draw conclusions, so I can look back and say, this meant this and that meant that. As of yet, I have not done that, but I probably will. One common element at the conclusion of my year, every year, has been saying goodbye to a girl. First year it was (^!$#$!^) and then it was (%&*&%) last year. Haha, you thought I was gonna tell you their names. If you are my friend, you should know their names. Anyway, It just seems like this year or even this semester, I have reckoned and claimed myself to have figured out more or and become more knowledgeable than ever before. Now when I reminisce and look back, I cannot see a degree of knowledge gained by any experience or situation I've encountered. Sure, I have more 'knowledge', but I don't have the 'life knowledge' of knowing what one thing looks like or another think is in actuality. That's not a bad thing, because I obviously wasn't ready to deal with it or handle it. But, it does make me wonder, when will I be ready?
I don't want to change the world; I just want to change your mind
Well, as I type the ol' theme song from the Roy Rogers show, (I think that's where it's from) I have a smile on my face. Not that I haven't had a smile on my face in a while. It just seems like it has been a while since I've felt happy. Yay! Happiness is good! I made a 94 on my Sociology final. Which means if I did the math right, I have a 90.25 % in the class and yes ladies and gentlemen, that is an A. I hope everything else goes that good. If I fail my Psychology 340 final, I could get a D in the class. I better study really hard. As the semester and the school year draw to a close, I'm reminded of the last two years and what I was doing at this time. Even though I still have outlines to read, 4 hours of parallel reading to do, and 2 or 3 more finals, I just feel like it's almost over and I get a break, even though I am taking 8 hours of summer classes. It's just that reassuring feeling that this is only gonna be a short time of my life and I need to make the most of every moment and every day. "Because, that's really all that life is. A bunch of little moments." (Dogma)
I'm the kind of guy who has to finalize everything. I have to draw conclusions, so I can look back and say, this meant this and that meant that. As of yet, I have not done that, but I probably will. One common element at the conclusion of my year, every year, has been saying goodbye to a girl. First year it was (^!$#$!^) and then it was (%&*&%) last year. Haha, you thought I was gonna tell you their names. If you are my friend, you should know their names. Anyway, It just seems like this year or even this semester, I have reckoned and claimed myself to have figured out more or and become more knowledgeable than ever before. Now when I reminisce and look back, I cannot see a degree of knowledge gained by any experience or situation I've encountered. Sure, I have more 'knowledge', but I don't have the 'life knowledge' of knowing what one thing looks like or another think is in actuality. That's not a bad thing, because I obviously wasn't ready to deal with it or handle it. But, it does make me wonder, when will I be ready?
I don't want to change the world; I just want to change your mind
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