This Really Is The New Year

So, I guess you are probably not reading this because you have plans tonight. But, if you are reading this and do not have plans, I hope you have a great New Year's Eve and a wonderful start to the New Year. Be safe and remember: intoxication only leads to vomitization.

The New Year, By Death Cab For Cutie From, Transatlanticism

So this is the new year
And I don't feel any different

The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance
In the distance...

So this is the new year
And I have no resolution

It's self-assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one
I wish the world was flat like the old days
So I could travel just by folding the map
No more airplanes or speed-trains or freeways
There'd be no distance that could hold us back

There'd be no distance that could hold us back
There'd be no distance that could hold us back

So this is the new year...

Mmm... Daddy Like!

I hate the way the world is turning these days...

Justin McLeod, former writer and film aficionado, drove to Titusville and we hung out today. I drove over there and we ate at Waffle House. I drove us back to Melbourne and showed him around. Then we went back to Waffle House for coffee and water. Then we went to his apartment in Orlando to hang for a little bit. Quite fun. It was great to see an old friend. We talked about music, film, girls, love, and of course, God. A fun time was had by all.

My Christmas was good, how was yours? I have bunches to do before I move. I guess sleep is on the list for now. See ya.

Wait. Ever so often, I like to look through my Dads LPs and see what I will be inheriting. Except for Magical Mystery Tour and The Beatles (White Album), my Dad has every Beatles American release unopened. Plus, they're all early releases, probably not first, but early stereo editions. I knew this though. But, looking even closer, my Dad has about 20 Rolling Stones records, but these are open. Yet, Exile on Main Street is 2 disc album that is still sealed. Yay!

Now, for real. Bye.

"That's A Pretty Sweet Bike"

Death is often just as complicated as life. Even though dying is really the simple polar quality of the expression, getting to that point is really the most challenging part. And that is really the only important underlining factor. To get to death, you have to live through life. Breathing has never been harder.

On Holiday

Those of us here at To Whom would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas.

In Case You Missed The Email

To Those I Love - Merry Christmas

Happy Holidays! How are you guys? I am doing great. I hope this email finds you well, and hopefully warm (or at the least, cozy). It’s crazy to think that Christmas is tomorrow for us here in America. Maybe I’m just a big procrastinator, but the holiday season always finds it’s way upon me in an increasingly rapid fashion. Each year that goes by, the time goes by so much faster. I guess that’s just getting older. I think I say that in every email I send out on Christmas Eve. Oh well, that line is a tradition. And this is too.

This is the 6th year I’ve done this email. I don’t know why it feels important, but it does. I suppose I do not get to expound upon the many reasons I love each of you as much I as would like to throughout the year. So that is why this is such a big deal for me. The sentiments behind this note are that of care and concern. I hope that this past few weeks and the rest of the year are a time for you to reflect on the beauty of life, the brilliance of creation and our gracious Creator.

For some of you, I’m sure you are wondering why you are getting an email from me. For others (Carrie), I know you are looking forward to this email with expectatious wonder. It gives me great joy to type these words because you are getting to see a piece of my heart that I do not share often. Not for spite or resolve, but for the simplistic reason that it makes people happy to know their loved ones are of cheer. And maybe that can be my New Year’s resolution because I do not express my happiness everyday. But know that I am happy and I hope you guys and gals are too.

For the past year, I have been working at Laurel Oaks Behavioral Health Center in Dothan, Alabama. It’s a psychiatric and behavioral hospital for children and teenagers. I was a mental health technician working, mentoring, teaching, and helping treat nine children, ages 7-12, on the child residential unit. It was great experience and an abundance of stress as well. Besides the experience I have gained from working there, the benefit of this job was to pay off some debt and save for graduate school, which is what I will be starting in January. I will be moving to New Orleans, Louisiana to start a MA in Christian Education at the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. I’m really excited about this new journey and being back in school.

I imagine from the start of this I wanted to say more, but now I’m sort of out of words. Please just know I love and cherish all of you. I hope that this holiday season is wonderful for you and yours.

Merry Christmas,

Jeff Watkins

I'll Miss You (This Christmas)

Justin and I were talking about some of our favorite Christmas songs a few weeks back. Over the past four years, I have made six Christmas CD for myself to enjoy. If I had to make an ultimate Christmas CD, these songs would be included (give or take a few) and most likely, in this order:

1. Jose Feliciano- Feliz Navidad
2. Southside Johnny- Please Come Home For Christmas
3. Fall Out Boy- Yule Shoot Your Eye Out
4. Dean Martin- Let It Snow
5. Chasing Furies- O Come Emanuel
6. Jackson Five- Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
7. Copeland- Do You Hear What I hear?
8. Elvis Presley- Blue Christmas
9. Stevie Wonder- One Little Christmas Tree
10. Five Iron Frenzy- You Gotta Get Up
11. Johnny Cash- The Gifts They Gave
12. Huntingtons- It's Always Christmas At My House
13. Beach Boys- Little St. Nick
14. The Normals- Peace Child (O Come Emmanuel)
15. The Coasters- White Christmas
16. Death Cab For Cutie- Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
17. Louis Armstrong- Christmas In New Orleans
18. MxPx- Christmas Only Comes Once A Year
19. Seven Day Jesus- O Holy Night
20. Burl Ives- Have A Holly Jolly Christmas
21. Boyz II Men- Silent Night
22. Ramones- Merry Christmas (I Don't Want TO Fight Tonight)
23. Bobby Helms- Jingle Bell Rock
24. Dashboard Confessional- The Only Gift That I Need
25. Nat King Cole- The Christmas Song
26. Blink 182- I Won't Be Home For Christmas
27. Pedro The Lion- I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day
28. The Kinks- Father Christmas
29. Bing Crosby- The First Noel

I Can Smell The New Year

I cannot believe I always forget to advertise the things I have for sale on Ebay. If you have time tonight and are in need of totally unrelated items, please look at what I have for sale. Thanks!

11 Christian Theology, Philosophy, Anthropology Books

8 Starting Lineup Basketball Figures - Bibby & Walton

10 Back Issues of TIME Magazine-JFK Jr, FDR, Star Wars

Tonight's The Night

Maybe I'm amazed. I went to my Sunday School class' Christmas party tonight. It was so much fun. I don't remember church functions being this much fun actually. We did a scavenger hunt, secret Santa, a name that tune game, and other things. Really fun, like I said. I made plans with like 3 people to hang out. I even met some cute girls. One, in particular. That's always fun. Hopeful expectations turn into destroyed fantasies. On the next To Whom...

Countdown To Freedom, They Say

As I write, I am sitting on the floor in my living room, trying to get my life in order. Typing via laptop with the show Friends playing in the back. Today was my last day at Laurel Oaks. It was still stressing. But, I guess with the fate of my life hanging in the balance by shift end, it turned out okay. Though they didn't have a going away party for me, like five people told me to stop by before I move to Louisiana. That was nice and I plan on doing that. So, now, my vacation begins. Not that it's been all that challenging or whatever (I'm not the first person to do it), but this past year of working full time in the mental health field has been extremely hard. But now, it's time for a break. Later on today, I'll be driving back to Melbourne, Florida to be with my folks for Christmas. I need to get to bed, but I got to finish packing. I will get up in a few hours and drive eight hours. That'll be fun. Anyway, I hope all is well with you. Maybe I can get into the Christmas spirit and have some sentimental stuff to say later. Until the next time...

Maraschino

I've been looking out windows for sometime
But I wouldn't ever call myself a window shopper
I find new revelations
In old hesitations
And I still can't believe in you
You're not real, as far as I can see
But, the epitome of everything I strive to be
Loving and breathtaking
Gracious and forgiving
You give me countless reasons to want to keep on living
I think of you at breakfast time
Or when I sing a Get Up Kids line
Maybe I'm silly or just a bit starry-eyed
It's all so indwelling
And this is so unbelievably telling of me
To say these things
And though I mean it all
It's still hard for me not to fall
For somebody like you
On a day like this
Good night or morning
Wherever you are
I'll still think about you
Wherever you go
No matter how far
We'll probably be apart
For the rest of time
And that's okay
I don't mind
Because I truly know
How much we mean to one another
If I had a choice between you or someone else
The option would be to love no other

I Heard The Bells

After a semi-stressing night at work, I stopped by a fast food place to get dinner. I ran into a lady that I used to work with. After sitting and talking with her for an hour, she asked me if I wanted to hang out next weekend. She gave me her number too. Oh yeah, she's 30. Why can't this ever happen to me with ladies I actually like. By the way, she's actually attractive. She just doesn't like The Beatles. :)

All The Evergreens

Ahoy. How are the kids? I'm good. Thanks for asking. If you are reading this caring about me or my life, I appreciate you. I'm sorry for not sharing myself with you until now. It seems like all I do is apologize. Here and there. Now and then. Day after motherless day. Won't it ever end? I've been busy with the normality of life. As always, I strive to make the best of my time, though I'm often overcome by laziness. But I process this restrain of guilt and proceed through the illicit tires of stress and relief.

Anyway, a lot has been on my mind as of late. Even if I can't write and express myself, my brain has been burdened with a bunch of stuff. Christmas is almost here. Scary. Not that presents are important, but I like giving, and on this end of it, I haven't done anything. What should I get my parents this year?

An exciting, yet stressing week is almost over. As much as I haven't written about it, this week is my last week of work. Next Thursday is my last day at Laurel Oaks. What a great day it will be. I'm so eagerly awaiting the last clock out. It hasn't been all horror stories and profanities. I will truly miss my coworkers. I have gained some friends I honestly love. And the kids, yeah, I'll miss certain things about them too. They're still little bastards. That's the way to send love, by insulting them, yeah...

Alright. I'm getting tired. After I quit work, I will be unemployed until I move to New Orleans. I still don't know if I'm accepted into grad school yet. But, everybody who I used as references is getting things to fill out, so hopefully I'll get the notice soon. That's gonna be hell; quitting work before you even know you got an opportunity to do something else. I think that's it.

See ya around the nanograms...

Shine, Jesus, Shine
By Graham Kendrick

Lord, the light of your love is shining
In the midst of the darkness, shining
Jesus, Light of the world, shine upon us
Set us free by the truth you now bring us
Shine on me, shine on me

Shine, Jesus, shine
Fill this land with the Father's glory
Blaze, Spirit, blaze
Set our hearts on fire
Flow, river, flow
Flood the nations with grace and mercy
Send forth your word
Lord, and let there be light

Lord, I come to your awesome presence
From the shadows into your radiance
By the blood I may enter your brightness
Search me, try me, consume all my darkness

Shine on me, shine on me
Shine, Jesus, shine
Fill this land with the Father's glory
Blaze, Spirit, blaze
Set our hearts on fire
Flow, river, flow
Flood the nations with grace and mercy
Send forth your word
Lord, and let there be light

As we gaze on your kingly brightness
So our faces display your likeness
Ever changing from glory to glory
Mirrored here may our lives tell your story
Shine on me, shine on me

Shine, Jesus, shine
Fill this land with the Father's glory
Blaze, Spirit, blaze
Set our hearts on fire
Flow, river, flow
Flood the nations with grace and mercy
Send forth your word
Lord, and let there be light

Ti Amo

Tonight, Donna, Chase and I went to a semi-expensive restaurant called the Macaroni Grille. I got some kind of crappy chicken dinner, but I became a classy guy with my beverage of choice. Although I did drink a diet coke, I also dabbled in the wine selection as well. I chose a glass of Merlot Ecco Domani (from Northeast Italy). It was $5.00, which sucks, but what can you do? It wasn't that great tasting. Drinking the wine while eating dinner was better than straight up. It had a hard taste. I think I'll like a sweeter red. I've had white wine and I didn't really like it. Oh well. My chances of becoming a raging alcoholic are slim to none. I only like vodka. Ha...

Yeah

The yard sale went good. Not as great as I had hoped, but I'm appreciative. Donna and I made over $100 total and I personally made near $60. That's always nice.

Moving Sale

If you are in G'ville, there will be a yard sale at 1106 First Ave. It will be on Saturday, December 4, 2004, from 8 AM until whenever. Please buy lots. It's my crap.

Thanks.

The Movie Has To End Sometime

Night falls on me
All I can think about is honesty
Days come and go
There is nothing for me to show

I've rethought things
The subtle conversations
Banter breaking silence

Sighs and yawns
Are our only songs
I sing because I'm sad

Only living to die
Just dying to live

I cry when I see
My life going on
Without you belonging to me

It is a selfish thought
But it is all that I want

In the movies
I could just read this out loud
But that's just fantasy

In this reality
It's not so easy
To explore your feelings
When people abhor
Understanding the meaning

Now I sit
With pen in hand
Marking these things down
If it were ever okay
To let you know
These words I am not allowed to say

Just know that I'd say them often
In frequency and with heart
Forget the odds that we'll loose
And let's just try to start