Salivation As Flattery

I used to assume that when somebody spat upon another person, it was to be taken as a sign of disrespect or rudeness. However, after work tonight, I feel like it could possibly represent an earnest affection for someone. The reason I think this is because this one kid spat upon me, my clothes, and his peers a whole bunch tonight. I hope that means he likes me. I guess it also shows that hepatitis isn't that easy to catch.

Also, a good article on HM, Pedro The Lion, and Cornerstone Festival.

Aloha (as in goodbye)

I Know... It's The Hood

As I was arriving home from work the other night, I noticed a red light emitting from one of the apartments in my "development." Outside each apartment, there are light fixtures that have the apartment number on it and at night time, the light comes on, so you can see what number each apartment is via the light bulb inside. Well, as I approached the apartment with the strange red glow, I realized that whomever lived there (the local smack dealer and/or user) had a red scarf over the light, thus igniting the blood-like glow. A gentlemen was sitting outside and I don't think he even looked at me. So to myself, I'm thinking, "What does this red light signify?" I've heard of red light districts, which are blocks that have prostitution. But, has my neighborhood (emphasizing 'hood' mind you) turned into a harboring for the whores? Or could it just be drugs? Any ideas?

That's A Boundary Issue

Every few days, I return with some new thoughts for you. Actually, I wouldn't say they are new. If I wrote my entire life out on here, I still don't think it would get anymore interesting. So, I leave you with poetry. I wrote this, maybe 6 months ago, but it perfectly describes this week. Deal with it. You should learn to read other things, like poetry, or maybe a dictionary:

Working For Nothing

Making time last
My life seems to be slowing down really fast

Pausing the day to escape
Another breath I gasp to take

To free myself from my take on guilt
I give it up

Quit accounting for my situations
Misguidance awaits divine penetration

Beauty from words that only inhale
I believe I'm much too fond of ale

Cooperating on a frozen whim
Trying to get closer to Him

To regret so little
And live so well

I'm starting to believe
That this place is hell

In My Ambition, I Still Am Ambiently Failing

I've been back from Melbourne for almost a week now. Working full time is normal for some, but it's tiring for me. I guess I get another break for a few years when I start graduate school. But, doing something you don't really enjoy, as I can imagine for all, can get a bit tiresome. Some things I did when I was home:

-Hung out with my Granny and took her to the grocery store. We talked about politics for 30 minutes. I've never heard her use so many explicitives in my entire life as those she used in that short period time. "Republicans are nothing but a bunch of bastards", she proclaimed.

-My buddy Jimmy and I went and grabbed a meal. I've known that guy since I was like 8; we've been good friends since. He will be a groomsmen in my wedding.

-I had my first flat tire. I was driving and I hit this little piece of a metal rod. I went to bed late and got up early and changed it by myself. I had to buy two new tires. I spent $166.50.

-I got a new laptop. Well, new to me anyway. My Dad decided to give me his because he wants to get a new one soon. It's a dinosaur though. I just mainly need one to type notes on in class and this is perfect for it. The speedy 500 MHz allows me to speed around my impressive 5 GB hard drive. The incredible 64 MB of memory gives my notebook just the right amount of memory to explore the internet with my 28.8K BPS modem card. Haha, I am happy about it.

-Also, I ate at some of my favorite restaurants. It's nice to be chubby. Jed and I used to say we're going to start to work out and we're going to go on our last "fat run." We always made more runs, and never start working out. Well, it's my turn to lose wait.

That's basically it with my life now. Maybe I'll have new thoughts soon. Maybe you'll quit reading...

Pearl Street

I lied to a heroin addict today
Please sir, go away
I told him I had no money
Now I feel like crap
But I can't help him score some crack
Do I tell him to get a job?
Even when I live my life like a slob
I think he's worse
Pointing fingers is always painless
Convincing people that your view is clearer
An ongoing saga of underestimating the inferior
Frankly speaking is not so appealing
Morris code would have been easier
I'm sorry, I haven't been out gallivanting
Even though deception was still lingering
How do I get you to just go away?
Maybe I can help you shoot up some other day
Doesn't Mark say to give to all who ask of you?
How does one go about speaking his point of view?
What will it take to share my joy?
When all I can see is his pain
Suffering makes more cents than donating change
Tell me sir, how did you get addicted to pain
Everyone already points at me
So you and I are kind of the same
Except I don't give into narcotic depravity
I want to believe the lies you say
Feeling horrible on such a beautiful day
I want to stand up for guys like him
Instead of just giving in
What's the answer for junkies today?
It can't just be, You need to get saved
I have to show him that God cares
And that I'm not just some white boy who is scared
Jesus, Gandhi, and Buddha all agree
I should always strive to help those people
Who are less fortunate than me

Dying To Thyself

A few things:

1. While at home, I've been seriously busy. I'm not doing too much, but I seem to be running around at incredible rates.

2. I went to church today for the first time in a long while. It was nice to learn again. I always get home, go to Sunday school, and think I know everything. Then, God smacks me and realize, I know nothing.

3. Tonight, my Mom, Brother, and I were getting groceries in Wal-Mart. My brother had a seizure in the electronic department. We heard information paged over the intercom. We had to run over there seeing him lie in the aisle. That's the most frightened and scared I've been in a while. Praise God he's okay.

4. I've been eating out a lot with my folks. I love it. I never get to eat out as much as I do when I am home.

All My Loves Hail From Brevard County

I'm at my folks house for a few days. No trip home would be complete without a lecture/session-of-admonishments from my Father. However, I say we resolved this one better than previous times. My Mom is great as always. I'm so tired now. I guess driving all night will do that. I made the trip in 6 hours and I wasn't even nodding off. I should sleep good tonight. Oh, I finally got a new email address (finally). For all those who care it's jeffyjeff[at]gmail[dot]com. Please update your address books or even better, write me an actual email. Bone, thugs, and harmony...

They Say It's Your Birthday

Today, I turn 24. Not that big of a deal. I have to work. The true sign of growing up: when you have to work on your birthday. But, then I get four days off in a row! I'm driving home after work tonight to visit my parents. It's like a 6 hour drive and I won't be leaving any earlier than 10:00 PM, so remember as your falling asleep tonight, so maybe I won't fall asleep...

Picturing Jeff in a Kiddie Pool

Most things I could say right now aren't worth to me the number of words they'd cost. See what I mean? Maybe I lack eloquence. Maybe you lack an attention span. Maybe we all need therapy. Since the advent of my new blog I now must ask anew the 65 dollar question: Which site do I write what for? Every now and then I think about quitting this gig. Sometimes I consider dropping everything else to devote my full attention to this webspace. Every now and then, much more often than I factually consider it, I joke with Jeff that I'm quitting To Whom. He gasps for breathe and begs me to say it ain't so. "Are you serious?" "No." "I knew that."

At this very moment I got my head in this laptop typing tirelessly away listening ever so intently to the new Wilco album- A Ghost is Born. I don't have the money to buy it yet and I had decided that was okay, but then after reading about it in six different magazines yesterday I felt slightly despondent. I found a way...that's right...through their site and Window's Media I can listen to it for free. Listen to not download. I'm on about track seven "Wishful Thinking" now. These pc speakers don't get loud enough. This listening experience will be far greater in the car. It's kind of the same thing as when you get a new album and have to ride home with a car full of people who won't stop talking. They have a right, you know, and its all fine but you force yourself to proceed with your listening experience. There really is no stopping yourself is there? This album is no disappointment, I just can't wait for the full effect. For me, that would also include holding the cd case and liner notes.

I'd like to catch you all up on the past five weeks of my existence. But, alas, that would require too many words. Perhaps I can hit the high points. School's out. Looked for jobs. Took one at unnamed teleservices company. Quit cause I refuse to scam people. Got pretty involved in church. Looked for jobs again. Listed everything I could gather on amazon. Sold my camcorder to Pawn City and a copy of Rubber Soul to Slippery Pete. Got increasingly depressed. At prayer meeting one night I began to understand my calling more clearly than ever before. Had a family reunion. On the way back made contact with phone book delivery guy. Took job there. Spent the next week and two days completing that route. Saw Jed and met Evelyn. Went to Tallahassee with Donna to meet up with her friend Jessica and some of her friends. Started going to Sunday school. For Father's Day we all played a game of putt-putt golf then ate at a BBQ place in town. Depression started to let up some. Realized I hadn't gone swimming in almost two years. Really began desiring to be immersed completely in water. Our manager at the phone book office gave Donna another job. Yesterday while she did that I spent the day at Books-A-Million. As soon as I finish this we are heading back into town to look for jobs again. Then at five we are going to Dothan's most exciting beach: Water World. Oh yeah and I have to find my swim trunks. So that's a lot I guess.

I'll be going now.