Incomplete Thought
Hi, I'm Chase Livingston and I'm a blog-aholic.

It's true my friends, sad but true. I am blogging here today simply because I'm getting some weird error message when I try to publish on Eye Level. This seems to be a kink blogger will have to resolve itself. There is no advice but patience on the help menus. I guess it's your lucky day.

I had a few things I was going to write about to over there. No, this is none of that. No offense to any of you, but I don't believe in leftovers. Sometimes I have a post that I feel is right for To Whom, this random post makes the cut. This post would not have existed if blogger were working. So it seems that by inefficiency they have further promoted their cause.

Counting Crows' Hard Candy has been in heavy rotation since I bought it yesterday. I've played it through 6 times. Check out Adam's wacky hair.
Speaking of wacky, Wacky Wednesday was a success. Everyone will agree with me I'm sure. Suddenly I'm wishing the summer were longer.

This post is incomplete, but so is my thought.

"What brings me down now is love, cause I can never get enough."

The Late Late Late Show With Jeff Watkins

It's 3:09 A.M. I am at Justin's house. Chase is here waiting for me to take him home. Ashley Miller is playing the xbox. Jed is waiting for Ashley to get done so he can play. So much fun, we can barely contain ourselves. Tonight, I'm pondering my words. I had these thoughts earlier. Have you ever wanted to show someone up? You know, just do something that they didn't know you could do. Not for spite or for pride, but just for the sake that they now know that you have a certain ability. I had these visions tonight. I wonder if I'll ever get them accomplished. Who knows, maybe one day you will hear the crap I post on here on the radio. At least, college radio. By the way, Justin (whose house we're at) is in bed. Now I shall be too...

The Gangs All Here

Moments + Conversation = My Own Silence

These moments that are waiting for life to fade.
Waiting for life's moments to wait for me.
Life to stand still.
Still like the sand without a breeze.
I wonder where those days were and
I wonder when those days drew to a close.
How should I know it was over?
I don't understand why I feel like this.
These moments are all lost in a glimpse.
Sometimes I feel like the sand that falls through my fingers.
I wish I could grasp it and hold it in my hand;
alas, it all falls inevitable through my fingers.
It's like trying to grab the wind,
but unknown to you it still is a failure.
Why can't it be me?
Why can't it be now?
So many times I try,
but it's still the same episode.
I'm here walking on the sand and there's no hope,
not even for a mirage.
I ponder and stare.
I wait in angst.
I hope for nothing.
Find peace in anything.

"...maybe it was just me..."

Number Nineteen
Last night I visited my past. I delved into the archives of Dead Yet Living and read my 18 total posts from last June 18th-September 18th. It's a strange experience to read old writing like that. Last summer feels so much further than this. Years further. I see a lot of growth. I am not the same. Sometimes all I recognize is that I still harbor the same burdens. It doesn't seem to me like I'm battling any better, on so many things. Still, in some indescribable sense I see growth.
Pride makes me wish I had discovered blogging on my own, but I have to thank Rich for getting me started. Thanks, Rich. I went through the seven months of archives here on To Whom. Ironically, I have 18 posts so far. I told Rich and Justin that this makes me wonder if I should bow out gracefully now. Then I realized, I'd need one last post, it's unlike me to go without saying goodbye. So it looks as though I'm stuck here for awhile. If only I had figured this out on my 17th post, if only. What's funny is, I almost inevitably write at least 18 per week on Eye Level.

Freaky Frolicking Flowing Friday Night Fun (Darn! almost all F's)

Avoiding all of the usual Friday spots (i.e. movies, bars, bowling alleys, etc), I decided to stay home (Justin's place: my 2nd home) and watch movies with Jed. Actually, I did most of the movie watching. He was moving in some of his stuff and catching a few minutes of each movie while taking breaks between all that heavy lifting and shifting. In the past few days, I have watched and rewatched the following movies:

Lethal Weapon 4
Godmoney
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Independence Day
From Hell
Best In Show
Career Opportunities
Running Scared
GoodFellas
Orange County

This is all very interesting, I'm sure. I must say the biggest disappointment for me was Orange County. Even though the plot was clever, it just felt like every other 'semi-ideal-teen' movie. Of course the stellar performance by Jack Black made up for the unbearable moments. Lethal Weapon 4, Godmoney (More on this to come), Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Independence Day, and From Hell all have things I like about them and enjoy. Running Scared was a movie that was recommended to me. It stars Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines. It was filmed sometime in the early 80's. Perhaps the original plot scheme of staring a white man and a black man together is behind the success of what made the Lethal Weapon twosome layout. It had some good laughs, but it's still an 80's movie. Career Opportunities was a John Hughes, not-such-a-success comedy. It had probably one of the most original plots yet; it reeked of 80's persuasion. Getting locked in a Target with a beautiful runaway girl could only last so long. Best In Show has vastly become one of my all time favorites. My stomach hurts because I laugh so hard whenever I watch it. "Don't water the plants, they're plastic." You will either love it or hate it. Lastly, GoodFellas the Martin Scoresese classic and one of the few favorites for this avid blogger. Roger Ebert called it "The best mob movie ever." I'd say if it weren’t the best, it would be second best. This is one of my top 5 favorite films of all time. And the more I think about it, Robert De Niro is one of my favorite actors. If you haven't watched it, you should. There’s just so much action, passion, and drama. Disclaimer: violence and many expletives. Well, that's about it for my movie reviewing, more to come on Godmoney.

"...Tis it for the evening? Rejoice for the morning greets thee when thou least expects thine night to depart..."

Maybe I shouldn't be laughing
I found this site courtesy of Leila. For anyone who likes laughing or making out...

...Thanks For All The Free Shoes...

Independence Day is now upon us. It's July the 4th and we're celebrating America's Independence from England. In this day and age, it’s ironic the way we celebrate. I understand that with every celebration, there is going to be a party. The irony is that a lot of people just use this day off from work as a way to get drunk, do nothing but eat, and use their money on or watching pyrotechnics. Don't get me wrong, I love to do my share of eating and I even bought some fireworks, but I think there is also a level of reverence that comes or should come along with celebrating this day. I am certainly guilty of this myself, but along with my newfound adulthood, I have come to grips with the understanding that there were and still are a lot of sacrifices for me that I have never really thought about before. In this understanding, I believe that I and everyone else should exercise a certain amount of reflection when thinking about today. There is also a level of reverence that one must or should have when celebrating the 226 years of our nation’s freedom. I would challenge everyone that today would be the day that they think about all the sacrifices that were made on their behalf. Think about all the people that died for you and me that never met us, but selflessly sacrificed their own lives for our sake and the sake of this great land. Kind of like the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for us all by sacrificing his life for ours so that we may live eternally with Him and the Father in paradise. Don't take today for granted and live in vain, but live and reflect in memory for all the men and women that died for our freedoms, liberties, and for our great country.

Home of the free, land of the brave

Friends

During my late night insomnia (as apposed to the usual mid-day insomnia), I was writing an email to my friend Teresa Tucker. I am very fortunate and blessed to have her as a friend of mine. This is the section of the email where I thanked her for her friendship. A lot of readers and the two other writers here all have special places in my heart. However, I think Teresa has her very own special place that no one else could fill and I don't think that I tell her that enough and let her know just how special she is to me. So, without further a dieu here's me being a big softy because, that's pretty much what I am. ;)

By the way, I really wasn't mad last night. Just merely having a pity party and I was the only one invited. Also, I'm terribly sorry if I made you upset at all last night. I never wanna make you feel bad about something or cause you to ever shed one tear for anything that I've done. You mean so much to me. Teresa, this is pretty much "me making myself transparent with you." I really do feel like you are one of the only people in the entire world that understands me and really cares about me. I feel like you understand the things I talk about and say. When I ramble on about my mostly bare, dull, and incomplete daily activities and it comes out all ‘not-making sense', I feel like you understand what I was saying, most of the time. :) It is confusing to understand my randomness sometimes. I totally thank our sovereign Lord for letting us be friends. I have to admit that after everything in our friendship (i.e. drama), at times I wondered if you were right about questioning whether we were supposed to be friends at all, like last spring. I'm not saying you said that directly, but at one time, I thought you felt that indirectly. I know I'm not the best at claiming God's will, but I unreservedly and most-definitely believe that it was in God’s agenda for us to become friends. For all the reasons I have no clue, but I know that we do pretty well at making each other feel better, smile, and we really encourage each other. So, thank you. Don’t think of this as a compliment because it’s so much more. Think of it as a thank you for just being born.

P.S. Sorry I missed your phone call

"...Contested partially, intoxicated thoroughly..."

We got a hit off Google when someone searched for, "Save the world, lose the girl". We ranked number one.
Good going Watkins.