No, You Cannot Date My Cousin

After the other night, I really don't like the fact that I have an attractive, eighteen year old female cousin. And no, it's not because I want to date her. Lemme explain.

I went to dinner at my Aunt and Uncle's house on Tuesday night. My cousin and her boyfriend were there. Now, I've met this guy before and he seems to be an okay guy and all, but for some reason, he rubbed me the wrong way that particular night. And I know why he rubbed me the wrong way. It was because he freakin' rubbed her.

Never before in my entire life have I had the "big brother complex" with this cousin. Even when the guy got there, I didn't have any ill feelings toward him. It was only after he had been there a while before I developed this newfound interest in wanting to crack his skull open.

My cousin, the boyfriend and I were in the living room watching President Bush at a rally in Panama City Beach. The guy was rubbing my cousin's back, which wasn't that weird. Except that he was rubbing her back, underneath her shirt. Like, I could see her skin. I was just appalled that he was doing this in front of me. I tried to ignore it. The act itself isn't even that intimate, but right in front of me? I'm her first cousin; to me, that was like doing it in front of her Dad or something. Nothing else bothered me up until it was time to go. He's lucky! I hadn't seen them in about an hour. My little cousin (he's 13) and I were watching some TV. When I went outside to leave, I know I interrupted them during the making out session. I was trying to make loud noises so they would stop. I don't care if my cousin kisses, it was just that the public display of affection was too awkward for me. Anyway, as I was getting in my car, I'm looking at them, standing close, stomach to stomach, his arms around her. Really, this isn't making me mad that much. But, the fact that he's still trying to kiss her, again, IN FRONT OF ME! Now, I'm pissed. Every time he does it, my cousin pulls her head away. I know that move. I've had girls do it to me. It's because somebody is watching. And now, that somebody is me! So, only this seemingly innocent second incident is just making me furious. I guess I'm more mad at the fact that it feels like he's doing it in front of me for a reason. When I was driving home, I noticed that one of them had wrote "I love [insert cousin's name]" and his name in parenthesis on my dew drenched windshield. First of all, I hate it when people write on my window. Secondly, I was still confused why I was having to be involved into their romanticism. Am I just mad? It really bothered me. So much in fact, I thought about talking to my Aunt and Uncle about him. Ha! Especially my uncle with the gun!

No, he doesn't really have a gun... I don't think.