Saturday, November 13, 2010

Baby!?!?

So, it's been a while. Life has a funny way of taking over and not letting you decide what you're going to do. Rather, life dictates the choices you will inevitably have to choose. Of course we all have some control but this past years has felt controlled for me.

Andrea (my girlfriend of two years off and on) is pregnant with my child. Yay. So, we're at 38 weeks tomorrow. It's exciting and scary. She's full term and this baby could come at any moment. I still got stuff I want to sell, baby stuff to put together, mental statuses to prepare for, et al. If that rugrat stays in her uterus until 42 weeks, I'll be happy (she of course will probably be writhe with misery.

I want to write about all my emotions but I fear my child will somehow read my crazy thoughts and resent me for it in the future. Lord knows if my father had written down his fears and I found it ten years postpartum, I probably would have been sad to read his fears.

This is to say, basically, that I want to be a good dad. I can be a good dad. I will be a good day. I'm just scared as hell about it.

There's my ninth month journal entry.

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