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Jeff Watkins
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Thursday, February 10, 2005

Disintegrating

Today I realized I'm a phony, fraud, hypocrite, well whatever you call it I am the dreaded word fake. It all starts with the little stuff. I am the kind of person that gets bent out of shape over hair being around the sink, and yet there is a piece of sausage in the crack of the car that has been disintegrating since thanksgiving day. I know, I'm gross. I guess I pick what I am going to be anal about. The next example of my fakeness. I value friendship and above all I want my friends to know that I appreciate them, but I am a month behind on writing thank you cards for our wedding. There are not any excuses that can make this right in my mind. The last and final reason that I am fake is that I dream of the day that I am teaching our kids about the greatness of God. When in actuality, I've seem to forgotten Him myself. My spiritual life seems to exist only in my head. I live in the past. I do not take advantage of the day. Being fake has been a fear of mine since I was at least twelve, so what do I do now? I hope in this case that admitting is the first step to recovery is correct.

posted by Donna at 8:54 PM

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