Is He Talking about Love Again?
My spring break was fairly decent. I spent some time with my family and just had a few days to relax and think. I was amazed to see the response on my last post. I am thankful that everyone was so encouraging, so I give you all much thanks.
I just got back yesterday, and I found that my phone line has been disconnected. Its a really long story, but basically, we never got our phone bill. We are supposed to get all the charges erased (in theory) when my roommate gets back and actually calls the phone company. So hopefully I will be back online very soon, if not, oh well. If you guys wanna contribute to our phone fund.....just let me know!
On a serious note, I still find myself thinking alot about being in love. I guess I should admit that I am lonely, and would like to have somone to talk to. I dont think I have to explain to you what I mean by "someone". My only prayer is that God brings her to me soon. I also hope that I find her before I get out of film school. I am not saying that I will be a famous film director, but I do not want my accomplishments to be the reason some girl wants to be with me. I know that not all girls are that shallow, but I really want a girl to want to be with me, not my talents. I see movies or read stories about people falling in love. Its a beautiful thing. Its a picture of Christ's love for the church. It's something I miss having.
I think maybe I dwell on this too much, and I do apologize. I just have a deep desire to love and be loved by someone, and I do not know how to cope with the lack of it except to write about it. I dont have really any female friends at all, and that had been partly on purpose. I am not against the idea, but I am careful when it comes to close female friends. Then again, I have never really had a loyal female friend, so maybe that it the problem. Who knows. In truth, I dont even know how to think or feel about it anymore. I believe things will be ok, and that God is still in control. Ladies, dont think I hate your kind. If I did, why would I write so much about wanting to be with one of you? I have been hurt alot by girls (ask Jeff) and I wish I could just meet one who would be different from all of them. Just one. Thats not too much to ask is it?
posted by Justin at 2:07 PM